DOI Heft:
February 23, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0099
February 23, 1889.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
89
Visitors to London should go to all the theatres; because, truth to say,
there is something worth seeing in every one of them. Probably by
the time these lines are published, the weather will be positively
charming. However, when I went the rounds, 1 found the roads
covered with ice and snow, and furs and wraps for evening dress
de rigueur. So cold was it, that it was with genuine reluctance
that I found myself The Critic from the Hearth.
ROBERT WITH THE COUNTY COUNCILLORS.
Whether it was quite a wise thing of the old Copperashun to
allow the new body as has got to perform the rayther difficult tarsk
of guwerning the rest of Lundon in the
same grand style as the old City is guverned,
—to meet in their butifool Counsel Chamber,
remanes to be seen, but it suttenly was a
bold and an ansum thing to do, and so in
course they did it. And I was there on
Toosday larst to see how the new-comers
behaved theirselves.
There wasn’t quite the same amount of
„0 quiet dignerty and quite - at - homishness
wm among ’em as when the reel owners of the
& plaice takes their seats, and in course the
haspecks of the plaice was sumthink quite
diffrent. The new Lord Mare, if he is one, didn’t make much of
a appearance, for I ardly expecks to be bleeved when I says as he
didn’t wear no butifool Robe of Offis, and still wuss, no Cocked Hat
of Power ! In course the nateral result follered, and scarcely
nobody paid atenshun to what he sed, and so they set to work to eleck
sumbody else in his plaice, which acshally took ’em just about 2 hours,
altho amost ewerybody was agreed that, as they were most on ’em
Raddicls, they coodn’t do better than have yung Lord Roseberry.
I think as Brown must have been rong when he told me as they had
got nineteen Aldremen among ’em, for I ony seed one a setting on
their onnered bench, and he hadn’t no Skarlet Robe on, and, as has
bin said, a Alderman without his Skarlet Robe is no ansumer than a
live lobster.
The butifool Counsel Chamber seemd just about to fit its new
ockepants, but I opes as they won’t forget as they ’re ony Quorterly
Tennants and allreddy under notice to quit.
I seed quite a lot of the old ritefool Owners up in the Gallery, and
they looked on at the rayther noisy perceedings, I think, with more
estonishment than hadmirashun. But they had a good menny broad
grins at the rayther noomerus mistakes as the yung Counsellors
made. Seweral Pints of Order was called for, but, I rayther think,
as many on ’em, judging from their thirsty looks, wood have
preferred ordering Pints of quite a different kind. Why the wery
artiest larf of the hole arternoon was caused by the alushun of one
Counsellor to a “ Shampane Supper ! ” Ah, my poor hard-working
Lundon Common Counsilmen! you may butter such delishus words,
and cheer ’em to the Ecco, as you did on Tuesday arternoon, but
they will never be anything more reel to you than recklecshuns of a
fairy dream!
At the end of the 2 hours of not werry hinteresting tork, xcept
when one onerabel Counsellor called another onerable Counsellor a
Trayter! Lord Primrose Roseberry was elected Chairman iu
plaice of the other almost unanimusly, and went and took his seat in
the Lord Mare’s onered chair. And then came the treat of the
arternoon, and that was the new Chairman’s speech, which I most
respecfly calls a reel staggerer. In the fust plaice he sed as he had
never spent two more uncumferal hours, for they had all bin a tork-
ing about him all that time, and he wasn’t alowd to say a word. He
then estonished us all, Counsellors, and Common Counselmen, and
Waiters, and all by declaring that he quite agreed with the few
gentlemen as had woted against him that, neether by traning, or
capasity, or xperiens, was he at all fit for the plaice ! Of course I
naterally thort as he was about to give it up, but he didn’t, but
occypied the Chair for about two hours, and, allowing for what we ’re
accustomed to in Lord Mares, did it werry creddibly. How the old
sperrit bubbles up in a true man ! One of the new Common Counsel-
men, who is also a old Common Counselman, kept adressing the new
Chairman as “My Lord Mare,” at which they all larfed, but I’ve
werry little dowt but that my Lord Primrose Roseberry wished as
it was true. Who nose but that the singler mistake may be the
ferst thing to put the hambishus idear into his Lordship’s honnerd hed.
Sum great Feelosofer has remarked that you can allers form sum-
think like a currect idea of the amount of branes in a Publick
Assembly, by the preportion of ball deds among ’em, as it is the
hactivity of the brane as wares off the hare. Judging the New
Counsellors by this standpoint I shood say as they compares werry
unfaverably with the Ouse of Commons where the habsence of hare
is remarkabel.
The Counsel broke up about la. clock, and most on ’em drove away
direckly ether in their own private Carridges or Cabs. But a con-
siderable number lingered about jest as if they thort as the grand
Old Copperashun might posserbly ask ’em to dinner, and it woodn’t
have bin at all a bad idear for the new Fust Commoner to have
inwited ’em to a nice snug little dinner at the Gildhall Tawern.
There’s no think like a hinterchange of good wishes over a glass or
two of good old wine to smooth away diffrenees and make things
ginerally plessant, and it must naterally have caused jest a leetle
feeling of gelosy to arise in the buzzums of at any rate sum of the
New Counsellors, to think that they was leaving the old Home of
Ospitality without so much as a stirrup cup to elp ’em on their long
weary pilgrimage to Bethnal Green or Bermonsey. Robert.
THE NAGS’ TALE.
Light and Leading.
A representative gathering of London horses has just taken
place (in response to an urgent “whip”) to consider the state of the
streets, and to support the action of the horse-owners and horse-
lovers who recently met at
the Barbican Repository to
debate the same subject.
A Bay Mare proposed that
their respected friend, the
Sorrel Nag, having once had
the honour to run in the
Derby Race (cheers), should
occupy the Chair.
The proposal was voted by
acclamation.
The Sorrel Nag, on taking
the Chair, begged to thank
his assembled friends for the
honour they had done him.
He supposed every horse present understood the object of the meeting.
(Cries of “Yes, yes ! ”) He believed a gathering had recently taken
place in the City, at which some very sensible opinions were expressed
as to the execrable state of the London pavements. {Cheers.) After
all, men could not know so much about that sort of thing as horses
themselves. Men laid the pavements, and horses used them. It was the
horses that slipped—the men only whipped. (Laughter, and cheers.)
He would now invite suggestions from any horse present. {Cheers.)
A Cab Horse, whose name failed to reach the reporters, in a lively
and humorous speech, described the awful condition of asphaltewhen
greasy. The wood pavement was little better. What was wanted
was scouring when muddy, and this scouring could take place at night.
{Cheers.) If that were done, and gravel strewn in slippery weather,
they would have very little to complain of. {General cheering.)
A Brewer’s Dray Horse hoped his presumption—(“ No, no!")—in
rising to address such an aristocratic assembly of horses would be
pardoned. He knew he was called clumsy, but then he was very
strong. {Cheers.) What he could not understand was, why the
Authorities insisted on laying wood or asphalts at the bottoms of hills,
just where a horse’s real collar-work began. {Cheers.) He would
rather sacrifice his oats any day than have to go up Ludgate Hill
in a greasy thaw. {Sympathetic cheering.)
A Spirited Roan said he noticed that the City people were going to
form themselves into a Standing Com-
mittee to watch the state of the roads.
The Horses who had to use the roads
were a falling Committee. {Laughter.)
He thought it was very appropriate
that the Authorities to appeal to about
the slimy nature of the pavements C $
should be the Commissioners of Sewers.
{More laughter.)
A Piebald remarked that he should
like to say a few words about shoes,
which he feared were a necessity of what A Turn for the Turf (a sketch by
was called civilisation. He had recently Horse-lie),
had to change his shoe-maker-
The Chair-Horse, interposing, remarked that he thought they
must keep off the subject of shoes ; to which the Piebald replied
that the difficulty was to keep them on. {Laughter.)
A Bus Horse said that what he chiefly complained of was having
too heavy a load behind him. To expect two horses to drag a cum-
brous machine uphill _ and down dale, with an average of twenty
passengers constantly in it or on it, was sheer cruelty. {Cheers.)
Another Bus Horse said in the Company to which he belonged, the
horses were well treated. {“Oh!") He meant what he said. He
would never condescend to draw what was called a “Pirate,”
belonging to some needy private jobber, who could not afford to treat
his animals properly. (Cheers, and “ Question ! ”)
A vote of thanks to the gentlemen who had taken part in the City
meeting being proposed, the Chair-Horse requested those present to
signify their assent in the usual manner, by holding up their hoofs.
The Yote being carried without a single neigh, the audience then
dispersed to their respective stables.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
89
Visitors to London should go to all the theatres; because, truth to say,
there is something worth seeing in every one of them. Probably by
the time these lines are published, the weather will be positively
charming. However, when I went the rounds, 1 found the roads
covered with ice and snow, and furs and wraps for evening dress
de rigueur. So cold was it, that it was with genuine reluctance
that I found myself The Critic from the Hearth.
ROBERT WITH THE COUNTY COUNCILLORS.
Whether it was quite a wise thing of the old Copperashun to
allow the new body as has got to perform the rayther difficult tarsk
of guwerning the rest of Lundon in the
same grand style as the old City is guverned,
—to meet in their butifool Counsel Chamber,
remanes to be seen, but it suttenly was a
bold and an ansum thing to do, and so in
course they did it. And I was there on
Toosday larst to see how the new-comers
behaved theirselves.
There wasn’t quite the same amount of
„0 quiet dignerty and quite - at - homishness
wm among ’em as when the reel owners of the
& plaice takes their seats, and in course the
haspecks of the plaice was sumthink quite
diffrent. The new Lord Mare, if he is one, didn’t make much of
a appearance, for I ardly expecks to be bleeved when I says as he
didn’t wear no butifool Robe of Offis, and still wuss, no Cocked Hat
of Power ! In course the nateral result follered, and scarcely
nobody paid atenshun to what he sed, and so they set to work to eleck
sumbody else in his plaice, which acshally took ’em just about 2 hours,
altho amost ewerybody was agreed that, as they were most on ’em
Raddicls, they coodn’t do better than have yung Lord Roseberry.
I think as Brown must have been rong when he told me as they had
got nineteen Aldremen among ’em, for I ony seed one a setting on
their onnered bench, and he hadn’t no Skarlet Robe on, and, as has
bin said, a Alderman without his Skarlet Robe is no ansumer than a
live lobster.
The butifool Counsel Chamber seemd just about to fit its new
ockepants, but I opes as they won’t forget as they ’re ony Quorterly
Tennants and allreddy under notice to quit.
I seed quite a lot of the old ritefool Owners up in the Gallery, and
they looked on at the rayther noisy perceedings, I think, with more
estonishment than hadmirashun. But they had a good menny broad
grins at the rayther noomerus mistakes as the yung Counsellors
made. Seweral Pints of Order was called for, but, I rayther think,
as many on ’em, judging from their thirsty looks, wood have
preferred ordering Pints of quite a different kind. Why the wery
artiest larf of the hole arternoon was caused by the alushun of one
Counsellor to a “ Shampane Supper ! ” Ah, my poor hard-working
Lundon Common Counsilmen! you may butter such delishus words,
and cheer ’em to the Ecco, as you did on Tuesday arternoon, but
they will never be anything more reel to you than recklecshuns of a
fairy dream!
At the end of the 2 hours of not werry hinteresting tork, xcept
when one onerabel Counsellor called another onerable Counsellor a
Trayter! Lord Primrose Roseberry was elected Chairman iu
plaice of the other almost unanimusly, and went and took his seat in
the Lord Mare’s onered chair. And then came the treat of the
arternoon, and that was the new Chairman’s speech, which I most
respecfly calls a reel staggerer. In the fust plaice he sed as he had
never spent two more uncumferal hours, for they had all bin a tork-
ing about him all that time, and he wasn’t alowd to say a word. He
then estonished us all, Counsellors, and Common Counselmen, and
Waiters, and all by declaring that he quite agreed with the few
gentlemen as had woted against him that, neether by traning, or
capasity, or xperiens, was he at all fit for the plaice ! Of course I
naterally thort as he was about to give it up, but he didn’t, but
occypied the Chair for about two hours, and, allowing for what we ’re
accustomed to in Lord Mares, did it werry creddibly. How the old
sperrit bubbles up in a true man ! One of the new Common Counsel-
men, who is also a old Common Counselman, kept adressing the new
Chairman as “My Lord Mare,” at which they all larfed, but I’ve
werry little dowt but that my Lord Primrose Roseberry wished as
it was true. Who nose but that the singler mistake may be the
ferst thing to put the hambishus idear into his Lordship’s honnerd hed.
Sum great Feelosofer has remarked that you can allers form sum-
think like a currect idea of the amount of branes in a Publick
Assembly, by the preportion of ball deds among ’em, as it is the
hactivity of the brane as wares off the hare. Judging the New
Counsellors by this standpoint I shood say as they compares werry
unfaverably with the Ouse of Commons where the habsence of hare
is remarkabel.
The Counsel broke up about la. clock, and most on ’em drove away
direckly ether in their own private Carridges or Cabs. But a con-
siderable number lingered about jest as if they thort as the grand
Old Copperashun might posserbly ask ’em to dinner, and it woodn’t
have bin at all a bad idear for the new Fust Commoner to have
inwited ’em to a nice snug little dinner at the Gildhall Tawern.
There’s no think like a hinterchange of good wishes over a glass or
two of good old wine to smooth away diffrenees and make things
ginerally plessant, and it must naterally have caused jest a leetle
feeling of gelosy to arise in the buzzums of at any rate sum of the
New Counsellors, to think that they was leaving the old Home of
Ospitality without so much as a stirrup cup to elp ’em on their long
weary pilgrimage to Bethnal Green or Bermonsey. Robert.
THE NAGS’ TALE.
Light and Leading.
A representative gathering of London horses has just taken
place (in response to an urgent “whip”) to consider the state of the
streets, and to support the action of the horse-owners and horse-
lovers who recently met at
the Barbican Repository to
debate the same subject.
A Bay Mare proposed that
their respected friend, the
Sorrel Nag, having once had
the honour to run in the
Derby Race (cheers), should
occupy the Chair.
The proposal was voted by
acclamation.
The Sorrel Nag, on taking
the Chair, begged to thank
his assembled friends for the
honour they had done him.
He supposed every horse present understood the object of the meeting.
(Cries of “Yes, yes ! ”) He believed a gathering had recently taken
place in the City, at which some very sensible opinions were expressed
as to the execrable state of the London pavements. {Cheers.) After
all, men could not know so much about that sort of thing as horses
themselves. Men laid the pavements, and horses used them. It was the
horses that slipped—the men only whipped. (Laughter, and cheers.)
He would now invite suggestions from any horse present. {Cheers.)
A Cab Horse, whose name failed to reach the reporters, in a lively
and humorous speech, described the awful condition of asphaltewhen
greasy. The wood pavement was little better. What was wanted
was scouring when muddy, and this scouring could take place at night.
{Cheers.) If that were done, and gravel strewn in slippery weather,
they would have very little to complain of. {General cheering.)
A Brewer’s Dray Horse hoped his presumption—(“ No, no!")—in
rising to address such an aristocratic assembly of horses would be
pardoned. He knew he was called clumsy, but then he was very
strong. {Cheers.) What he could not understand was, why the
Authorities insisted on laying wood or asphalts at the bottoms of hills,
just where a horse’s real collar-work began. {Cheers.) He would
rather sacrifice his oats any day than have to go up Ludgate Hill
in a greasy thaw. {Sympathetic cheering.)
A Spirited Roan said he noticed that the City people were going to
form themselves into a Standing Com-
mittee to watch the state of the roads.
The Horses who had to use the roads
were a falling Committee. {Laughter.)
He thought it was very appropriate
that the Authorities to appeal to about
the slimy nature of the pavements C $
should be the Commissioners of Sewers.
{More laughter.)
A Piebald remarked that he should
like to say a few words about shoes,
which he feared were a necessity of what A Turn for the Turf (a sketch by
was called civilisation. He had recently Horse-lie),
had to change his shoe-maker-
The Chair-Horse, interposing, remarked that he thought they
must keep off the subject of shoes ; to which the Piebald replied
that the difficulty was to keep them on. {Laughter.)
A Bus Horse said that what he chiefly complained of was having
too heavy a load behind him. To expect two horses to drag a cum-
brous machine uphill _ and down dale, with an average of twenty
passengers constantly in it or on it, was sheer cruelty. {Cheers.)
Another Bus Horse said in the Company to which he belonged, the
horses were well treated. {“Oh!") He meant what he said. He
would never condescend to draw what was called a “Pirate,”
belonging to some needy private jobber, who could not afford to treat
his animals properly. (Cheers, and “ Question ! ”)
A vote of thanks to the gentlemen who had taken part in the City
meeting being proposed, the Chair-Horse requested those present to
signify their assent in the usual manner, by holding up their hoofs.
The Yote being carried without a single neigh, the audience then
dispersed to their respective stables.