DOI issue:
March 2, 1889
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0118
108
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 2, 1889.
,r\
LtCfazCtcO from, IT\t SfiasujJ
TaR\/ h . 0 O
House of Commons, Feb. 21.
—“Here we are again!” said
Old Morality, coming into the
Commons cart-wheel fashion on
the stroke of half-past four.
House delighted with evidence
of Leader’s agility and lightness
of heart. Gladstone arrived half
an hour later, hut content to walk
in ordinary fashion. ‘ ‘ All very
well for young fellows like 0. M.,” he said, “to betray this sportive-
ness. Another letter makes all the difference. G. 0. M. must
eschew such vanities, and reserve strength for the final and crowning
labour of his life.”
Harcourt, into whose sympathising ear these words were dropped,
squeezed his revered Leader’s hand, and wiped away a tear.
A pretty full House of Commons ; but the Lords looked more
lively, with benches well filled, rows of ladies in the gallery, and
crowd of Privy Councillors on steps of Throne ; Bishops turned up
in serried row, representing Peace below the Gangway, whilst
Londesborough and Penrhyn, in military array, fittingly embodied
martial strength of Great Britain. Granville played prettily
around the Speech, dealing some nasty thrusts as he smiled. Brought
up Selborne in state of almost Pagan wrath; accused Gladstone
and his colleagues of “organising opposition not against the policy
of their opponents, but against the administration of the Law.”
The Markiss, with few rapid touches, sketched-in real picture of
Irish Question—O’Brien struggling into his small-clothes; Heady
dashing out of Police Court, and Harrington mourning for his
moustache. Noble Lords chuckled hugely over this, and, there
being nothing more to be said, went home.
In Commons even less show of fight. Everybody agrees that there
shall be row over John Morley’s Amendment to Address: but that
not coming on till Monday. In the meantime two sittings to dispose
of. At eight o’clock some one proposes Count Out. Very nearly
done, but just fails, and speech-making goes on till midnight.
Old Morality in fine form. Sells the House once or twice by
approaching table with portentous air, pausing till profound silence
reigns, and then making formal announcement. Irish Members noting
his serious look, thrilled by his deliberate manner, thought he was
at least about to proclaim a Province in their unhappy country ; so
cried, “Ha! ha!” “Ho! ho!” and “Pigott!”
0. M. sternly regarded them, making
their flesh creep : then solemnly said, ‘ ‘ I
beg to remind the House that, under Stand-
ing Order No. 16, unopposed Bills may be
brought in before the commencement of
public business to-morrow.”
Made impressive oration in reply to Glad-
stone’s disquisition on Speech from Throne.
“ I trust,” he said, “ due regard will be had
to the exigences of the public service and to
the duties this House has to discharge to the
country.” Later, evidences of foreign
travel manifested themselves. Extolling the
Government as the custodian of English
honour abroad, and the fruetifier of its hap-
piness at home, Old Morality, glancing at
his note-book, said: “ Eviter les contre-
faeons ! Exiger le veritable nom! Se
mefier des imitations! Quant a moi, M. le
Speaker, je frappe seulement sur la boite ! ”
and suiting the action to the word, he
brought his clenched hand down on the
brass-bound box.
This splendid passage strangely moved
audience. Two distinguished members of
Parisian press in Speaker’s gallery.
“ Quel homme ! ” cried M. Johnston, of
Le Figaro.
“Wee, wee!” said M. Brown-Jones, of
Le Temps.
Business done.—Address moved.
Friday.—Business of Session really begins
on Monday ; but something must be done
to-night, to keep up appearances. So Brad-
laugh, taking foreign affairs under care,
discourses at length about Suakim, Red Sea,
Thibet, China, coming home by Leicester
Railway Station, where, as he told House,
he “met a railway porter.” Understood
that Ireland shall stand over till Monday.
John O’Connor no party to such arrange-
ment. Gradually drawing himself up to
full length, discoursed about state of country between 1880 and
1841. Everyone going to sleep, when Parnell came in with news
that Carew had lost not only his flannel shirt, but his hair and
moustache. Balfour tried to laugh the little incident away; but
Opposition very angry, and sitting closed in a storm.
Business done.—Debate on Address.
Long John.
The Rule of the Ring.
Ring here, and ring there. Everything seems to indicate
That Mammon his right to sole rule means to vindicate.
He ’ll ne’er be content
Till, at sixty per cent.,
The whole Solar System is run by a Syndicate ;
And then some shrewd knave, since Old Sol is our one light,
Will want to establish a “ Corner in Sunlight! ”
Pity the Pugs and Poodles !—On Monday, March 4, a Dramatic
and Musical Entertainment is to be held at Grosvenor House, for the
benefit of the Home for Lost and Starving Dogs. A host of talent
will assist in the good cause. Mrs. Bancroft and Miss Ellen
Terry will both be there to kindly give their services. Fearless of
a possible attack by his proUges, a Wolff (a gentleman, although
a Herr) will play the violin, and a Gee Gee give a musical sketch.
There will be songs, too! And all for a guinea, or half-a-guinea!
Surely this will not be an extravagant price for a ticket, although
the money will go to the dogs!
Idiotic Reason.—The only excuse the absurd people have who
want to pull down George Dance’s picturesque old prison—that has
frowned on London for more than a century—is that such a proceed-
ing will render Newgate nugatory.
(j^* EOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 2, 1889.
,r\
LtCfazCtcO from, IT\t SfiasujJ
TaR\/ h . 0 O
House of Commons, Feb. 21.
—“Here we are again!” said
Old Morality, coming into the
Commons cart-wheel fashion on
the stroke of half-past four.
House delighted with evidence
of Leader’s agility and lightness
of heart. Gladstone arrived half
an hour later, hut content to walk
in ordinary fashion. ‘ ‘ All very
well for young fellows like 0. M.,” he said, “to betray this sportive-
ness. Another letter makes all the difference. G. 0. M. must
eschew such vanities, and reserve strength for the final and crowning
labour of his life.”
Harcourt, into whose sympathising ear these words were dropped,
squeezed his revered Leader’s hand, and wiped away a tear.
A pretty full House of Commons ; but the Lords looked more
lively, with benches well filled, rows of ladies in the gallery, and
crowd of Privy Councillors on steps of Throne ; Bishops turned up
in serried row, representing Peace below the Gangway, whilst
Londesborough and Penrhyn, in military array, fittingly embodied
martial strength of Great Britain. Granville played prettily
around the Speech, dealing some nasty thrusts as he smiled. Brought
up Selborne in state of almost Pagan wrath; accused Gladstone
and his colleagues of “organising opposition not against the policy
of their opponents, but against the administration of the Law.”
The Markiss, with few rapid touches, sketched-in real picture of
Irish Question—O’Brien struggling into his small-clothes; Heady
dashing out of Police Court, and Harrington mourning for his
moustache. Noble Lords chuckled hugely over this, and, there
being nothing more to be said, went home.
In Commons even less show of fight. Everybody agrees that there
shall be row over John Morley’s Amendment to Address: but that
not coming on till Monday. In the meantime two sittings to dispose
of. At eight o’clock some one proposes Count Out. Very nearly
done, but just fails, and speech-making goes on till midnight.
Old Morality in fine form. Sells the House once or twice by
approaching table with portentous air, pausing till profound silence
reigns, and then making formal announcement. Irish Members noting
his serious look, thrilled by his deliberate manner, thought he was
at least about to proclaim a Province in their unhappy country ; so
cried, “Ha! ha!” “Ho! ho!” and “Pigott!”
0. M. sternly regarded them, making
their flesh creep : then solemnly said, ‘ ‘ I
beg to remind the House that, under Stand-
ing Order No. 16, unopposed Bills may be
brought in before the commencement of
public business to-morrow.”
Made impressive oration in reply to Glad-
stone’s disquisition on Speech from Throne.
“ I trust,” he said, “ due regard will be had
to the exigences of the public service and to
the duties this House has to discharge to the
country.” Later, evidences of foreign
travel manifested themselves. Extolling the
Government as the custodian of English
honour abroad, and the fruetifier of its hap-
piness at home, Old Morality, glancing at
his note-book, said: “ Eviter les contre-
faeons ! Exiger le veritable nom! Se
mefier des imitations! Quant a moi, M. le
Speaker, je frappe seulement sur la boite ! ”
and suiting the action to the word, he
brought his clenched hand down on the
brass-bound box.
This splendid passage strangely moved
audience. Two distinguished members of
Parisian press in Speaker’s gallery.
“ Quel homme ! ” cried M. Johnston, of
Le Figaro.
“Wee, wee!” said M. Brown-Jones, of
Le Temps.
Business done.—Address moved.
Friday.—Business of Session really begins
on Monday ; but something must be done
to-night, to keep up appearances. So Brad-
laugh, taking foreign affairs under care,
discourses at length about Suakim, Red Sea,
Thibet, China, coming home by Leicester
Railway Station, where, as he told House,
he “met a railway porter.” Understood
that Ireland shall stand over till Monday.
John O’Connor no party to such arrange-
ment. Gradually drawing himself up to
full length, discoursed about state of country between 1880 and
1841. Everyone going to sleep, when Parnell came in with news
that Carew had lost not only his flannel shirt, but his hair and
moustache. Balfour tried to laugh the little incident away; but
Opposition very angry, and sitting closed in a storm.
Business done.—Debate on Address.
Long John.
The Rule of the Ring.
Ring here, and ring there. Everything seems to indicate
That Mammon his right to sole rule means to vindicate.
He ’ll ne’er be content
Till, at sixty per cent.,
The whole Solar System is run by a Syndicate ;
And then some shrewd knave, since Old Sol is our one light,
Will want to establish a “ Corner in Sunlight! ”
Pity the Pugs and Poodles !—On Monday, March 4, a Dramatic
and Musical Entertainment is to be held at Grosvenor House, for the
benefit of the Home for Lost and Starving Dogs. A host of talent
will assist in the good cause. Mrs. Bancroft and Miss Ellen
Terry will both be there to kindly give their services. Fearless of
a possible attack by his proUges, a Wolff (a gentleman, although
a Herr) will play the violin, and a Gee Gee give a musical sketch.
There will be songs, too! And all for a guinea, or half-a-guinea!
Surely this will not be an extravagant price for a ticket, although
the money will go to the dogs!
Idiotic Reason.—The only excuse the absurd people have who
want to pull down George Dance’s picturesque old prison—that has
frowned on London for more than a century—is that such a proceed-
ing will render Newgate nugatory.
(j^* EOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.