DOI Heft:
May 11, 1889
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0238
May li, 1889.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHAPIYAKI.
229
PLEASURE V. APPETITE.
Uncle Harry, “Now, Tommy, which am I to give you?—the Pony, or the Calf?”
Tommy. “Oh, I think I should like the Pony.” (Pause.) “But, Uncle Harry?”
Uncle Harry. “Well, Tommy?” Tommy. “I—I’m awfully fond of Veal!”
THE DIARY OE A NOBODY.
March 20.—To-day being the day on which Daisy Mutlar and
Mr. Murray Posh are to be married, Lupin has gone with a friend
to spend the day at Gravesend. Lupin has been much cut-up
over the affair, although he declares that
he is glad it is off. I wish he would not
go to so many Music Halls, but one dare
not say anything to him about it. At the
present moment he irritates me by singing
all over the house, some nonsense about
‘4 What’s the matter with Gladstone ? He’s
all right! _ What’s the matter with Lupin ?
He’s all right! ” I don’t think either of
them is. In the evening, Go wing called,
and the chief topic of conversation was
Daisy’s marriage to Murray Posh. I said,
“I was glad the matter was at an end, as
Daisy would only have made a fool of Lupin.” Gowing, with his
usual good taste, said, “ Oh, Master Lupin can make a fool of him-
self without any assistance.” Carrie very properly resented this,
and Gowing had sufficient sense to say he was sorry.
March 21.—To-day I shall conclude my diary, for it is one of the
happiest days of my life. My great dream of the last few weeks—in
fact, of many years—has been realised. This morning came a letter
from Mr. Perkupp, asking me to take Lupin down to the office with
me. I went to Lupin’s room ; poor fellow, he seemed very pale, and
said he had a bad headache. He had come back yesterday from
Gravesend,_ where he spent part of the day in a small boat on the
water, having been mad enough to neglect to take his overcoat with
him. I showed him Mr. Perkupp’s letter, and he got up as quickly
as possible. I begged of him not to put on his fast-coloured clothes
and ties, but to dress in something black or quiet-looking. Carrie
was all of a tremble when she read the letter, and all she could keep
on saying was, “Oh, I do hope it will be all right.” For myself, I
could scarcely eat any breakfast. Lupin came down dressed quietly
and looking a perfect gentleman, except that his face was rather
yellow. Carrie, by way of encouragement, said, “You do look
nice, Lupin.” Lupin replied, “ Yes, it’s a good make-up, isn’t it?
A regular - downright - respectable - funereal - iirst - class - City - firm -
Junior-Clerk.” He laughed rather ironically.
In the hall I heard a great noise, and also Lupin shouting to Sarah
to fetch down his old hat. I went into the passage, and found Lupin
in a fury, kicking and smashing a new tall hat._ I said, “Lupin,
my boy, what are you doing ? How wicked of you! Some poor
fellow would be glad to have it.” _ Lupin replied, “ I would not insult
any poor fellow by giving it to him.” When he had gone outside, I
picked up the battered hat and saw inside “ Posh’s Patent.” Poor
Lupin ! I can forgive him. It seemed hours before we reached the
office. Mr. Perkupp sent for Lupin, who was with him nearly an
hour. He returned, as I thought, crestfallen in appearance. I said,
“ Well, Lupin, how about Mr. Perkupp ? ” Lupin commenced his
song, “What’s the matter with Perkupp ? He ’s all right! ” I felt
instinctively my boy was engaged. I went to Mr. Perkupp, but I
could not speak. He said, “Well, Mr. Pooter, what is it?” I
must have looked a fool, for all I could say was, “ Mr. Perkupp, you
are a good man.” He laughed at me for a moment and said, “ No,
Mr. Pooter, you are the good man; and we ’ll see if we cannot get
your son to follow such an excellent example.” I said, “Mr.
Perkupp, may I go home ? I cannot work any more to-day.” My
good Master shook my hand warmly, as he nodded his head. It was
as much as I could do to prevent myself from crying in the ’bus, in
fact, I should have done so had my thoughts not been interrupted by
Lupin, who was having a quarrel with a fat man in the ’bus, whom
he accused of taking up too much room. In the evening Carrie
sent round for dear old friend Cummings and his wife, and also to
Gowing. We all sat round the fire, and in a bottle of “Jackson
Freres,” which Sarah fetched from the grocers, drank Lupin’s
health. I lay awake for hours, thinking of the future. My boy in
the same office as myself—we can go down together by the ’bus,
come home together, and who knows but in the course of time he
may take great interest in our little home. That he may help me to
put a nail in here or a nail in there, or help his dear mother to hang
a picture. In the summer he may help us in our little garden with
the flowers, and assist us to paint the stands and pots. (By the bye, I
must get in some more Enamel paint.) All this I thought over and
over again, and a thousand happy thoughts beside. I heard the clock
strike four, and soon after fell asleep only to dream of three happy
people, Lupin, dear Carrie, and myself.
229
PLEASURE V. APPETITE.
Uncle Harry, “Now, Tommy, which am I to give you?—the Pony, or the Calf?”
Tommy. “Oh, I think I should like the Pony.” (Pause.) “But, Uncle Harry?”
Uncle Harry. “Well, Tommy?” Tommy. “I—I’m awfully fond of Veal!”
THE DIARY OE A NOBODY.
March 20.—To-day being the day on which Daisy Mutlar and
Mr. Murray Posh are to be married, Lupin has gone with a friend
to spend the day at Gravesend. Lupin has been much cut-up
over the affair, although he declares that
he is glad it is off. I wish he would not
go to so many Music Halls, but one dare
not say anything to him about it. At the
present moment he irritates me by singing
all over the house, some nonsense about
‘4 What’s the matter with Gladstone ? He’s
all right! _ What’s the matter with Lupin ?
He’s all right! ” I don’t think either of
them is. In the evening, Go wing called,
and the chief topic of conversation was
Daisy’s marriage to Murray Posh. I said,
“I was glad the matter was at an end, as
Daisy would only have made a fool of Lupin.” Gowing, with his
usual good taste, said, “ Oh, Master Lupin can make a fool of him-
self without any assistance.” Carrie very properly resented this,
and Gowing had sufficient sense to say he was sorry.
March 21.—To-day I shall conclude my diary, for it is one of the
happiest days of my life. My great dream of the last few weeks—in
fact, of many years—has been realised. This morning came a letter
from Mr. Perkupp, asking me to take Lupin down to the office with
me. I went to Lupin’s room ; poor fellow, he seemed very pale, and
said he had a bad headache. He had come back yesterday from
Gravesend,_ where he spent part of the day in a small boat on the
water, having been mad enough to neglect to take his overcoat with
him. I showed him Mr. Perkupp’s letter, and he got up as quickly
as possible. I begged of him not to put on his fast-coloured clothes
and ties, but to dress in something black or quiet-looking. Carrie
was all of a tremble when she read the letter, and all she could keep
on saying was, “Oh, I do hope it will be all right.” For myself, I
could scarcely eat any breakfast. Lupin came down dressed quietly
and looking a perfect gentleman, except that his face was rather
yellow. Carrie, by way of encouragement, said, “You do look
nice, Lupin.” Lupin replied, “ Yes, it’s a good make-up, isn’t it?
A regular - downright - respectable - funereal - iirst - class - City - firm -
Junior-Clerk.” He laughed rather ironically.
In the hall I heard a great noise, and also Lupin shouting to Sarah
to fetch down his old hat. I went into the passage, and found Lupin
in a fury, kicking and smashing a new tall hat._ I said, “Lupin,
my boy, what are you doing ? How wicked of you! Some poor
fellow would be glad to have it.” _ Lupin replied, “ I would not insult
any poor fellow by giving it to him.” When he had gone outside, I
picked up the battered hat and saw inside “ Posh’s Patent.” Poor
Lupin ! I can forgive him. It seemed hours before we reached the
office. Mr. Perkupp sent for Lupin, who was with him nearly an
hour. He returned, as I thought, crestfallen in appearance. I said,
“ Well, Lupin, how about Mr. Perkupp ? ” Lupin commenced his
song, “What’s the matter with Perkupp ? He ’s all right! ” I felt
instinctively my boy was engaged. I went to Mr. Perkupp, but I
could not speak. He said, “Well, Mr. Pooter, what is it?” I
must have looked a fool, for all I could say was, “ Mr. Perkupp, you
are a good man.” He laughed at me for a moment and said, “ No,
Mr. Pooter, you are the good man; and we ’ll see if we cannot get
your son to follow such an excellent example.” I said, “Mr.
Perkupp, may I go home ? I cannot work any more to-day.” My
good Master shook my hand warmly, as he nodded his head. It was
as much as I could do to prevent myself from crying in the ’bus, in
fact, I should have done so had my thoughts not been interrupted by
Lupin, who was having a quarrel with a fat man in the ’bus, whom
he accused of taking up too much room. In the evening Carrie
sent round for dear old friend Cummings and his wife, and also to
Gowing. We all sat round the fire, and in a bottle of “Jackson
Freres,” which Sarah fetched from the grocers, drank Lupin’s
health. I lay awake for hours, thinking of the future. My boy in
the same office as myself—we can go down together by the ’bus,
come home together, and who knows but in the course of time he
may take great interest in our little home. That he may help me to
put a nail in here or a nail in there, or help his dear mother to hang
a picture. In the summer he may help us in our little garden with
the flowers, and assist us to paint the stands and pots. (By the bye, I
must get in some more Enamel paint.) All this I thought over and
over again, and a thousand happy thoughts beside. I heard the clock
strike four, and soon after fell asleep only to dream of three happy
people, Lupin, dear Carrie, and myself.