DOI issue:
May 11, 1889
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17687#0241
232
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 11, 1889.
COUNTY-COUNCILDOM.
{From the Note-Book of Mr. Punch’s Young Man.)
April 30, 1889.—“ Mister” Rosebery, since his rating by the
Times for being away at one of the earliest of the meetings of the
Council, a perfect pattern
of punctuality, is in his
place to the moment. He
anxiously glances round
the chamber, and then
seems greatly relieved.
Many of the boys have not
returned from the Easter
holidays. The girls are
more zealous. Lady Sand-
hurst and Miss Alder-
spinster Cons are sitting
together, and possibly
discussing the ownership
of the Royal Victoria Music
Hall (late Royal Coburg
Theatre) in which the latter
takes much interest.
Young Master Lawson has
returned rosy-cheekedfrom
the country. The Patriot
Burns is on excellent terms
with un-hloated aristocrat
Compton — quite a pretty
sight to see the Working
Man talking amiably to a
fancy I recognise my dear
A Cartoon of Raphael.
exhibited.
Never before
Lord-by-courtesy. For a moment, I
and valued friend Conybeare, and am disappointed to discover
that his place is supplied (but in all fairness I must add,
efficiently supplied) by Lord Monkswell. I am rather new to the
spot, so cannot swear to everyone. However, I fancy I have seen
a gentleman in a red tie who I am told is an architect (or was it a
Volunteer?—I forget which) somewhere before. Other faces I
recognise as being familiar to me in and about the neighbourhood
of the refreshment department at the Law Courts. Another individual
is pointed out to me as the sharp marksman of the Financial News.
The Entire Charrington is also here ready d propos of the Music
Halls to bring blushes into the cheeks of young persons unaccustomed
to public speaking. He has a willing supporter in Alderman the
Reverend Fleming Williams, who it is to he hoped will never go to
the theatre iwhen Shakspeare’s masterpiece is being performed for
fear that he may be induced in recognition of the fitness of things,
to play for the rest of his life the Ghost
of Hamlet’s Father. He would make an
admirable ghost—I feel sure of it. And
I fancy there are many present who
would like to see him one. Beales the
Chorus is also in attendance ready to shout
“ Divide! ” or “ Vote! ” “ The originator
of the whole affair” is most useful when
he confines himself to these utterances.
Bottomley Firth, as usual, is combining
the activity of the office messenger with
the gravity of the country village clerk.
Arthur Arnold and Lieutenant-Colonel
Howard Vincent, M.P., commanding the
Queen’s Westminster Rifle Volunteers,
and other persons of lesser note, are also
present.
‘ ‘ Mister ” Rosebery is quite cheerful as
he knocks on the table in front of him.
He calls out the various numbers in the
Agenda, and for some minutes there are
cries of “ Agreed! ” But there is a rock
ahead. We come to the Report of the
Theatres and Music Halls, and then Mr.
Fardell rises and explains that there is
a recommendation and an “ alternative.”
The recommendation is, that the licensing
of the Music Halls shall he entrusted to a
Committee; and the “alternative” is, “ From this time Firth for
that that Committee should report to the evermore.”
Council. Mr. Fardell sits down, and then Captain Verney moves
an amendment which is seemingly calculated to cut out Mr. Augustus
Harris (absent) from being a member of the Licensing Committee.
Then the Entire Charrington tells some rather risque stories of
a Music Hall, wherein seemingly the audience are better pleased
with champagne than beer; and “Mister” Rosebery (no doubt
in the interest of the Alderspinster Cons) calls him to order. Then
comes a battle-royal, for by this time the Chamber is nearly full.
At length the Chairman rises, and suggests that as the motions
and amendments have got into a condition of hopeless confusion,
perhaps it would be as well to put certain questions to the Council,
and get the sense—“ if any,” said evidently the Chairman to himself,
judging by the twinkle in his eye,—of the meeting upon each of them.
This proposal is received withfapplause, possibly all the heartier
because the hour sacred to dinner is rapidly approaching. Then we
have votes and divisions, and excursions into the corridor, and all
sorts of peculiar countings. On one occasion “Mister” Rosebery
appoints a couple of double tellers to get the votes of either party,
and discovers, when the totals are ascertained, that three tellers
went one way and a solitary teller the other! In fact the meeting
partakes of the character of a roaring farce. However, some sort of a
decision is at length reached, when someone doubts the legality of the
whole proceedings, and asks for counsel’s opinion thereon!
And now I have been listening and laughing for nearly three
hours, and about an eighth of the suggested work of the sitting
has been accomplished, and I calculate that at the present rate of
progress the work will not he finished until the small hours of the
coming day. So I heat a retreat (imitating the Member for the
Western Division of St. Pancras, who, for the moment, is a lost
Raphael) , and learn on referring to the papers of the next morning,
that “ after some further business, the meeting adjourned.” What
that business was, I do not in the least know, and from the silence
of the Press, I fancy that the reporters must have equally shared
my ignorance.
OUR IN-SUBORDINATES.
[The Paris schoolmasters have “struck work”; Tommy who is now at
Whippingham Academy for Young Gentlemen—hopes the English ones will
do the same. This will be his diary, if they do.]
Monday.—Have enjoyed a perfectly delightful day ! The first
nice one since I came to old Swisher’s “Academy.” Swisher
himself of course can’t teach a little hit: he’s too much of a muff.
So the other Masters (there are three of them) do all that, while
Swisher comes in now and then, and superintends, and inflicts
what he calls “corporal punishment”—the old beast!—when he’s
got nothing better to do. This morning we heard that the three
Masters had struck work! Swisher had gone off to remonstrate
with them, and we were left to ourselves. Steereorth (he’s the
captain of our eleven), said it would be good fun to make an effigy
of Swisher, by stuffing a sack full of old copy-hooks. We did it, and
set fire to it out in the playground. Such larks! Hope Swisher
and the three Masters won’t come hack for a jolly long time.
Tuesday.—Swisher has come hack, but is ill “ from anxiety,” the
Matron says. Hurrah! And the three Masters are still out on strike.
Never knew before what a jolly thing a strike was. Steereorth
(who knows about everything), says that Swisher will have to raise
Masters’ salaries. Or, if he doesn’t do that, he can “lock them out.”
Yes, but if he locks us in, we shan’t have any half-holidays! Grub !
better to-day; Steereorth believes SwiSHERis frightened. Generally ;
we only get pudding on alternate Thursdays ; hut to-day we had a
jolly one, though it’s only Tuesday. Oh, what fun a strike is !
Wednesday.—We’ve painted most of the school-room pea-green!
Steerforth bought us the colours and brushes, and then fagged us to
dab it all over the walls; but we liked doing it. Then young
Bloggins, who is such a cure, did a picture of Swisher with a pipe
in his mouth, in vermilion, on the wet paint, and it really isn’t half
had. Steerforth will get some gunpowder. No lessons again to-day!
Thursday.—Steerforth says the three Masters have formed a
Trades’ Union. Don’t know what a Trades’ Union is a bit, but if it
means that Masters aren’t coming hack, and that it will he all holi-
days, I think it’s a splendid institution. Had a paper-chase all over
Swisher’s flower-beds. Tried who could throw stones best over the
house—only broke four windows. Matron very angry, but we don’t
mind her. She says old Swisher is getting better. Sorry to hear it.
Friday.—Masters still away ! Steerforth tells us what to do with
the gunpowder. Puts half a barrel in tool-shed up against house,
and then lays a train, which we are to set fire to. He says it’s like
conspirators, and that “ it ’ll amuse old Swisher.” Funny of Steer-
forth to seDd his boxes off to station beforehand. Looks as if he
were going on strike, too. "We all hope not. As we daren’t disobey
Steerforth, we do fire the train. Result not so funny as we
expected. Knocks us all down, makes big hole in wall of house,
blows tool-shed to smithereens, and brings old Swisher downstairs
with a cane ! Swisher certainly is much better—the beast! Never
had such a licking before! Bed.
Saturday.—Strike over. Masters back. _ And Steerforth, it
seems, was leaving, and has gone away, leaving us to bear brunt of
old Swisher’s anger. We all think Steerforth must have been
suddenly sent for, or he would never have deserted us in this way.
Swisher and Masters all in had temper. No holidays next week !
Swisher himself on the strike—with the cane !
The Result of Much Canvassing.—To be elected R.A.
'YF NOTICE. Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 11, 1889.
COUNTY-COUNCILDOM.
{From the Note-Book of Mr. Punch’s Young Man.)
April 30, 1889.—“ Mister” Rosebery, since his rating by the
Times for being away at one of the earliest of the meetings of the
Council, a perfect pattern
of punctuality, is in his
place to the moment. He
anxiously glances round
the chamber, and then
seems greatly relieved.
Many of the boys have not
returned from the Easter
holidays. The girls are
more zealous. Lady Sand-
hurst and Miss Alder-
spinster Cons are sitting
together, and possibly
discussing the ownership
of the Royal Victoria Music
Hall (late Royal Coburg
Theatre) in which the latter
takes much interest.
Young Master Lawson has
returned rosy-cheekedfrom
the country. The Patriot
Burns is on excellent terms
with un-hloated aristocrat
Compton — quite a pretty
sight to see the Working
Man talking amiably to a
fancy I recognise my dear
A Cartoon of Raphael.
exhibited.
Never before
Lord-by-courtesy. For a moment, I
and valued friend Conybeare, and am disappointed to discover
that his place is supplied (but in all fairness I must add,
efficiently supplied) by Lord Monkswell. I am rather new to the
spot, so cannot swear to everyone. However, I fancy I have seen
a gentleman in a red tie who I am told is an architect (or was it a
Volunteer?—I forget which) somewhere before. Other faces I
recognise as being familiar to me in and about the neighbourhood
of the refreshment department at the Law Courts. Another individual
is pointed out to me as the sharp marksman of the Financial News.
The Entire Charrington is also here ready d propos of the Music
Halls to bring blushes into the cheeks of young persons unaccustomed
to public speaking. He has a willing supporter in Alderman the
Reverend Fleming Williams, who it is to he hoped will never go to
the theatre iwhen Shakspeare’s masterpiece is being performed for
fear that he may be induced in recognition of the fitness of things,
to play for the rest of his life the Ghost
of Hamlet’s Father. He would make an
admirable ghost—I feel sure of it. And
I fancy there are many present who
would like to see him one. Beales the
Chorus is also in attendance ready to shout
“ Divide! ” or “ Vote! ” “ The originator
of the whole affair” is most useful when
he confines himself to these utterances.
Bottomley Firth, as usual, is combining
the activity of the office messenger with
the gravity of the country village clerk.
Arthur Arnold and Lieutenant-Colonel
Howard Vincent, M.P., commanding the
Queen’s Westminster Rifle Volunteers,
and other persons of lesser note, are also
present.
‘ ‘ Mister ” Rosebery is quite cheerful as
he knocks on the table in front of him.
He calls out the various numbers in the
Agenda, and for some minutes there are
cries of “ Agreed! ” But there is a rock
ahead. We come to the Report of the
Theatres and Music Halls, and then Mr.
Fardell rises and explains that there is
a recommendation and an “ alternative.”
The recommendation is, that the licensing
of the Music Halls shall he entrusted to a
Committee; and the “alternative” is, “ From this time Firth for
that that Committee should report to the evermore.”
Council. Mr. Fardell sits down, and then Captain Verney moves
an amendment which is seemingly calculated to cut out Mr. Augustus
Harris (absent) from being a member of the Licensing Committee.
Then the Entire Charrington tells some rather risque stories of
a Music Hall, wherein seemingly the audience are better pleased
with champagne than beer; and “Mister” Rosebery (no doubt
in the interest of the Alderspinster Cons) calls him to order. Then
comes a battle-royal, for by this time the Chamber is nearly full.
At length the Chairman rises, and suggests that as the motions
and amendments have got into a condition of hopeless confusion,
perhaps it would be as well to put certain questions to the Council,
and get the sense—“ if any,” said evidently the Chairman to himself,
judging by the twinkle in his eye,—of the meeting upon each of them.
This proposal is received withfapplause, possibly all the heartier
because the hour sacred to dinner is rapidly approaching. Then we
have votes and divisions, and excursions into the corridor, and all
sorts of peculiar countings. On one occasion “Mister” Rosebery
appoints a couple of double tellers to get the votes of either party,
and discovers, when the totals are ascertained, that three tellers
went one way and a solitary teller the other! In fact the meeting
partakes of the character of a roaring farce. However, some sort of a
decision is at length reached, when someone doubts the legality of the
whole proceedings, and asks for counsel’s opinion thereon!
And now I have been listening and laughing for nearly three
hours, and about an eighth of the suggested work of the sitting
has been accomplished, and I calculate that at the present rate of
progress the work will not he finished until the small hours of the
coming day. So I heat a retreat (imitating the Member for the
Western Division of St. Pancras, who, for the moment, is a lost
Raphael) , and learn on referring to the papers of the next morning,
that “ after some further business, the meeting adjourned.” What
that business was, I do not in the least know, and from the silence
of the Press, I fancy that the reporters must have equally shared
my ignorance.
OUR IN-SUBORDINATES.
[The Paris schoolmasters have “struck work”; Tommy who is now at
Whippingham Academy for Young Gentlemen—hopes the English ones will
do the same. This will be his diary, if they do.]
Monday.—Have enjoyed a perfectly delightful day ! The first
nice one since I came to old Swisher’s “Academy.” Swisher
himself of course can’t teach a little hit: he’s too much of a muff.
So the other Masters (there are three of them) do all that, while
Swisher comes in now and then, and superintends, and inflicts
what he calls “corporal punishment”—the old beast!—when he’s
got nothing better to do. This morning we heard that the three
Masters had struck work! Swisher had gone off to remonstrate
with them, and we were left to ourselves. Steereorth (he’s the
captain of our eleven), said it would be good fun to make an effigy
of Swisher, by stuffing a sack full of old copy-hooks. We did it, and
set fire to it out in the playground. Such larks! Hope Swisher
and the three Masters won’t come hack for a jolly long time.
Tuesday.—Swisher has come hack, but is ill “ from anxiety,” the
Matron says. Hurrah! And the three Masters are still out on strike.
Never knew before what a jolly thing a strike was. Steereorth
(who knows about everything), says that Swisher will have to raise
Masters’ salaries. Or, if he doesn’t do that, he can “lock them out.”
Yes, but if he locks us in, we shan’t have any half-holidays! Grub !
better to-day; Steereorth believes SwiSHERis frightened. Generally ;
we only get pudding on alternate Thursdays ; hut to-day we had a
jolly one, though it’s only Tuesday. Oh, what fun a strike is !
Wednesday.—We’ve painted most of the school-room pea-green!
Steerforth bought us the colours and brushes, and then fagged us to
dab it all over the walls; but we liked doing it. Then young
Bloggins, who is such a cure, did a picture of Swisher with a pipe
in his mouth, in vermilion, on the wet paint, and it really isn’t half
had. Steerforth will get some gunpowder. No lessons again to-day!
Thursday.—Steerforth says the three Masters have formed a
Trades’ Union. Don’t know what a Trades’ Union is a bit, but if it
means that Masters aren’t coming hack, and that it will he all holi-
days, I think it’s a splendid institution. Had a paper-chase all over
Swisher’s flower-beds. Tried who could throw stones best over the
house—only broke four windows. Matron very angry, but we don’t
mind her. She says old Swisher is getting better. Sorry to hear it.
Friday.—Masters still away ! Steerforth tells us what to do with
the gunpowder. Puts half a barrel in tool-shed up against house,
and then lays a train, which we are to set fire to. He says it’s like
conspirators, and that “ it ’ll amuse old Swisher.” Funny of Steer-
forth to seDd his boxes off to station beforehand. Looks as if he
were going on strike, too. "We all hope not. As we daren’t disobey
Steerforth, we do fire the train. Result not so funny as we
expected. Knocks us all down, makes big hole in wall of house,
blows tool-shed to smithereens, and brings old Swisher downstairs
with a cane ! Swisher certainly is much better—the beast! Never
had such a licking before! Bed.
Saturday.—Strike over. Masters back. _ And Steerforth, it
seems, was leaving, and has gone away, leaving us to bear brunt of
old Swisher’s anger. We all think Steerforth must have been
suddenly sent for, or he would never have deserted us in this way.
Swisher and Masters all in had temper. No holidays next week !
Swisher himself on the strike—with the cane !
The Result of Much Canvassing.—To be elected R.A.
'YF NOTICE. Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will
in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule
there will be no exception.