Punch: Punch (96.1889)

Mat 18, 1889.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

243

COUNTY-COUNC1LDOM.

{From the Note-Book of Mr. Punch's Young Man.)

May 7.—“Mister” Rosebery as punctual as usual. The first
business is the acceptance of a design for a seal for the Council.
The one chosen objected to by Mr. Marsland, on the score that the
idea is “too mediaeval,” and although the Chairman declares that
the central figure in the sketch is supposed to be a working-man of
the nineteenth century, this

explanation does not seem
to remove the ‘ ‘ Hon. Coun-
cillor’s” scruples. By the
way, all the members are
described as “ Hon.” which
is (as Hon. and Patriotic
Counsellor Burns might say)

‘ ‘ A cut above what they do
in the Vestries.” Then a
gentleman who I am told is
called Mr. Ubbard, raised a
short debate upon what he
no doubt correctly describes
as the “ alf-penny rate.” It
is a most interesting debate,
and would indeed be fault-
less were it not that the rate
has ceased to exist. Upon
learning this the Council re-
luctantly (I say ‘ ‘ reluc-
tantly,” for one of its mem-
bers — I think it is that
amusing rattle, Lord Hob-
house—insists, in a supple-
mentary speech, upon slay-
ing the slain) turns its
attention to something else.

But what a “ something
else! ” The Standing Com-
mittee have actually recom-
mended that the Deputy-
Chairman shall receive two
thousand pounds sterling a
year! Every eye is turned
towards Mr. Bottomley
Firth, whose invariably
florid complexion conceals
his blushes. The Vice-Chair-
man, Sir John Lubbock,
neatly recommends the re-
commendation suggesting
that his colleague combines
the clerical industry of the
bee with the legal knowledge
of the ant—at least, that is
the impression Sir John’s
speech conveys to my mind.

Somebody seconds the reso-
lution, and then comes the
tug of war. The gallant
warrior, whose eloquence,
rightly or wrongly, is often
called “ (Rotten,” leads the
attack. _ He loves Bottomley like a brother—hut there is nothing
strange in this, as every subsequent speaker scarcely with an excep-
tion echoes the sentiment—hut he does not want him to have a
salary. There are a number of “Hon. Councillors” of the same
way of thinking. For instance, Alderman Arthur Arnold does
not like the idea at all. The Alderman considers Bottomley his
oldest friend—if I understood him rightly he laid the foundation of
Mr. Firth’s fortune, by introducing him to Beale the Chorus—
what a sweet boon!—hut he must not be paid. Then another Aider-
man objects, no less a person than the Ghost of Hamlet's Father
as I must call him) the Reverend Fleming Williams. The Hon.
and Ecclesiastical Councillor looks gayer than he did last week.
He wears a buttonhole, and is altogether more cheerful. And this
reminds me that there are a number of flowers about, inclusive of
a large bunch of white lilies on the Chairman’s table, which are
no doubt waiting for the moment when “Mister” Rosebery poses
as a model for the central figure in a church-window. The Ghost of
Hamlet's Father on this occasion, reminds me of another Shakspearian
character—Shylock in a play called The Merchant of Venice.

And now there is a diversion. That gallant old warrior Colonel
Hughes (who I assume from his military title, must have the art of
war at his fingers’ end) complains of “ surprise.” Why were not
the Council told three days in advance that this strange matter

MR. PUNCH’S FANCY PORTRAITS.

M.P.

RIGHT HON. ARTHUR GOLFOUR,

As Irish Secretary known to fame,

Golfour, links-eved, pursues his favourite game

was coming on ? How did the Standing Committee come to think
of such a clever thing ? Such is the brave Colonel’s complaint. He
is immediately answered by a lawyer (I can fancy how the tough
old warrior must fume at the notion of a solicitor correcting an
“officer and a gentleman”), Mr. Harrison, who takes a different
view of the subject. Then Captain Verney (who is every square-
inch a sailor as Colonel Hughes is every cubic-foot a soldier)
interposes, and wants to know what has been done in the matter of
Counsel’s opinion about the proceedings of last week. The Deputy-

Chairman springs forward
and gives the required infor-
mation with a courtesy and
a promptitude that suggests
and pleasantly suggests, “ in
this style, two thousand a-
year.” But this agreeable
demeanour does not convert
the Naval Representative of
the United Service—he still
objects to a salary attached
to the office. Then we have
a Refreshment contractor,
whose name is not familiar
to me, and whose remarks
are of no great importance,
and then the Patriot Burns
rises to represent the work-
ing-man. The Hon. Coun-
cillor is a member of the
Standing Committee, and
from my own observation, a
friend of the noblest of his
colleagues. He speaks with
a silvery eloquence that wins
all hearts. Every word is
pronounced with exquisite
purity—no dropping of aspi-
rates, no saying “pied” for
“paid,” or anything of that
sort. Personally, he thinks
£1,500 a-year enough, and
that Bottomley should have
no more, and cease to be an
M.P., but he does not insist
on the latter suggestion. He
wants, however, Mr. Firth
to earn his money—on pain
of getting the sack. It would
be difficult to describe the
delightful delicacy with
which these proposals are
made. I can only murmur,
“Exquisite, beautiful, how
refined! ” And now the
matter has been debated for
nearly three hours, and we
have got no further. Then
“Mister’) Rosebery inter-
poses, as is his wont, and we
have much voting.

In the end, the Deputy-
Chairman is given his £2,000
a-year salary, and from a

little anecdote he introduces in returning thanks, adroitly suggests
that he intends to keep it until he joins the great majority.

‘4 When I told a great statesman recently lost to us—John Bright, ’ ’
says the ingenuous Bottomley, “that I had turned my attention to
Municipal Reform in London, the great man replied, 41 fancy you will
find that you have before you the sole labour of your life ! ’ ” I can
only say may Mr. Firth live long, and may his £2,000 a-year prosper!

May 10.—The Council meets again in Spring Gardens. However,
as that genial wag the Ghost of Hamlet's Father would observe, “ as
the Summer has now set in, the less said about the Spring pro-
ceedings the better.” __

Rational Dress Movement. — The noble sportsmen visiting
Kemp ton have been actuated by Mr. Sam Weller's motto, 44 Ease
afore elegance,” and, following their Royal and sensible leader, have
discarded the “Sunday-go-to-meeting” tall hat for the “Go-to-
race-meeting” pot hat. The fashion, however, was not adopted last
week by Grandolph, who explained to his companion, the Brave
Boulanger, that it was 44 only those who had a tile off would ever
think of putting the pot on.” The General smiled, but was unable
to appreciate the jest. Having so far disposed of heads in the day-
time, will not His Sensible Royal Highness dispense with our tails
in the evening ? “ Off with the tails! ”