Punch: Punch (96.1889)

May 25, 1889.]

PUNCH,

LONDON CHARIVARI.

But calmly, carefully considerate too !

While there’s one chance that mild-faced
Peace may woo

That angry peasant and that landlord stern
To drop their weapons, snatched in wrath,
and turn

Toward the olive-branch, let those who’d
cope

With hate by justice not abandon hope !

COUNTY-COUNCILDOM.

(From the Note-Boole of Mr. Punch’s Young Man.)

May 14.—The “ Mister of Rosebery ” (this
is an adaptation of a Scotch title to metropo-
litan requirements) is in the chair, and ready
to begin (with the assistance of Sir John Lub-
bock and the gentleman who has accepted
“hundreds,” after obtaining thousands) at
the stroke of three. There is a pretty full
attendance. A good start is made with the
Agenda until the composition of “the Parks’
Committee ” is reached. ‘ ‘ How shall the new
members be elected ?” The Mister of Rose-
beey lets it be understood that he doesn’t
mind “ how,” so long as subsequently he hears
no more about it. “It” standing of course
for composition, and not committee. No doubt
the Mister is afraid of some one again sug-
gesting that he should superintend the sale of
nuts, oranges, and ginger-beer. An hour or
so is then spent in pleasant, if not very in-
structive chatter, and then lists are ordered
to be made out, and handed in. When they
are collected, a little later, the papers of
Councillor Forster, Barrister Torr, and last,
but not least, Great Military Commander
Howard Yincent, are found to be imperfect.
The Mister of Rosebery quite chuckles over
the fact that three such highly distinguished
and intellectual persons should be guilty of
an informality.

Then comes the report of the Finance Com-
mittee ; and it is a relief to some of us to
find that its highly respected chairman, Lord
Lin gen, is seemingly entirely unconnected
with the recent proceedings in connection
with the Park Club. As I gaze at him, port-
folio in hand, murmuring soft somethings
about figures, I feel certain that he shuns
baccarat as the plague. His explanation
(whatever it is) seemingly satisfies every one,
save that unbloated aristocrat Earl Compton,
wbo, not hearing every word of the fiery
eloquence of the noble Lord, occasionally
ejaculates “ Speak up ! ”

The customary orators by this time are
well to the fore. The Refreshment Con-
tractor from the Law Courts expands in his
usual fashion, and then takes some interest
in a speech from Mr. Bassett Hopkins,
possibly because it contains reference to ‘ ‘ the
Legislature,” which latter word, as pro-
nounced, sounds as if it were an entremet in
the menu of a City dinner. Alderman The
Ghost of Hamlet's Father (as I really must
call him) opposes the retention of an open
space (so I understand him) because it may
be utilised to enlarge a chapel. This brings
up a gentleman in a red tie (his face seems
familiar to me, but I cannot say where 1
have seen him before), who expresses his
wish to support the reverend Councillor in
carrying out so admirable an object. Mr.
Augustus Harris, however, prefers open air
to chapel-going in the locality in question
(a very squalid one), and says so.

Then we have a long discussion about engi-
neers and doctors. It appears that we have
to appoint a chief engineer, and we are greatly
exercised in our minds as to whether the
coming official shall be allowed (when chosen)
to take pupils. This matter is discussed with
much earnestness, provoking loud cries of

(I il/|!

m

WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE AWFULLY FUNKY ONE) HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

Brmon. “I say—look here ! What the deuce
Picture—hay?” Jones. “Yes—confound you !■

do you mean by Caricaturing my
-and not Caricaturing mine!’’

“ Hear, hear! ” from a part of the Council, and “ ’ear, ’ear ! ” from the remainder. On the
whole, I fancy the “hear, hears” are in the majority. As £1500 is the sum proposed as
salary, I am not surprised to find the silvery-tongued Burns suggesting a reduction of
£500. It is always a pleasure to listen to the agreeable voice of this patriot, even when
he has nothing particular to say as on the present occasion. Next we choose a Medical
Officer of Health, and note, en passant that Mr. Clarke (who is a real live Common Coun-
cilman of the City of London) is “ guided by the personal appearance of a man as much
as by anything else,” a remark causing the reflection that he must be delighted when he
gazes into a looking-glass. And after our doctor is chosen (after three attempts) we come
perhaps to the most exciting incident in the afternoon’s entertainment.

During the sitting Miss Alderspinster Cons and Miss Cobden have been holding quite
a little court at which, amongst others, Alderman The Ghost of Hamlet's Father has been
(so I have noticed) in constant attendance. I find that we are now called upon to consider
Mr. Fleming Williams’ motion for a deputation to the President of the Local Government
Board to urge upon the attention of that Right Hon. and greatly favoured Gentleman,
the thirst that the London County Council undoubtedly have for the charms of female
society. Miss Cobden, convulses us with laughter, as she asks whether the Chairman,
Yice-Chairman, or Deputy-Chairman would undertake the arduous duties of visiting
twenty-three baby-farms, vice Lady Sandhurst disqualified ? Some of us (I think the
“’ear, ’ears”) would like to add this pleasant little exercise to the daily routine of the
self-sacrificing (but £2000 a-year-receiving) Bottomley, but no one ventures to make the
proposal. Then, after a forcible but courteous protest from a man of mark, or rather
marks, the ladies carry the day by a majority of 26, and we go home after four hours
of hard talking (and harder listening) with what appetite we may, to dinner.

And now, having j sufficiently “sampled” the proceedings of the London County
Council, I close my note-book—for the present.

Up! Up!

That great work of Highest possible Art, La Tour Eiffel, is the tall attraction in Paris.
Eiffel-tower first, Exhibition second. They are all Eiffel mad. “ Tall writin’,” instead of
being termed “ high-fallutin’,” is now “ Eiffelutin’.” A gamin de Paris who sees a tall
lady cries out, “ Tiens ! Madame Eiffel!” The Figaro records that a high note touched
by Miss Sibyl Saunderson, the new soprano, was immediately recorded as “ la note
Eiffel de V Opera Comique.” La Tour Eiffel gives the tone to everything. _ The Parisians
are holding their heads high; the hotel-keepers and shop-keepers are all highly delighted,
because the prices are Eiffel-prices ; that is, about as high as they can be.