34

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 19, 1889.

OUR VILLAGE INSTITUTE SOIREE.

Rector's Wife (hysterically). " Here’s a Note come from those Wags haws ! They ask me to Play and Sing during the evening ;

BECAUSE, THEY SAY—THEY WANT THE YOUNG AND ATTRACTIVE WOMEN TO ASSIST AS WAITRESSES ! !” [Tableau.

ROBERT ON THE COUNTY COUNCIL.

I have bin waited upon, I thinks they calls it, by sum too or three
most respectfool looking Gents, ewidently with tneir werry best close
on, to hask me to give my wotes to serten other Gents who didn’t
wait upon me but who wants for to be
elected Common Counoilmen for all London,
xcept of course the sacred City, which is
allreddy werry well pnrwided with that
most nessessary article. I’m told as this
is the werry fust time as sitch elections
has taken place, and that it is dun in
hopes as the rest of the great Metropilus
will then be looked after and atended to
in the werry same degree of purfexion as
the great City itself. Such being the
case, my arnser to my warious wisiters
has bin, that, afore promising my him-
portant wote and my still more himportant
hinterest to any Candiddate, I feels it my
dooty to make further inquirys, and which
I has done with the following rayther
singerler results.

In the werry fust place, there won’t be
arf enuff on ’em for to do the work, for if
as it takes oyer 200 Common Consilmen to
rule the City, witch I confess I am has-
tonished to hear is ony one mile big, how
can about 120 of the same kind of Gents,
but without any of their TOO years xperi-
ense govern all the hole of the rest of
London which I am told is about 100
times bigger ?

That’s the fust staggering question as I
shall put to my Candiddates when they
calls agane. My second bit of hinforma-
shun is ewen more staggering, and betrays
such a hutter amount of hignorance of

“New Appointments, Scenery, and Costumes.”—
Prince Henry of Battenberg, K.G., has been appointed Gov-
ern or and Captain General of the Isle of Wight, and Governor
of Carisbrooke Castle. Old England is safe at last! !

uman nature in them as makes our laws as ort to make ’em blush
when they hears it menshuned. Wood it be bleeved after the
xperience as the hole world has had of the fust grand cause of the
brillyant sucksess of the old Copperashun on the right hand, and of
the utter failure of the Bored of Wurks on the left, wiz., the habun-
---1 dant supply of such means as Natur sug-
gests for enabling all public men to live
together in peace and unity, or such a
hutter habsence of them as keeps ’em all
famished and snarling, the Members of
the New Counsil is not to be alloud to
have nuffin in the shape of elegant repast-
ing unless they pays for ’em out of their
hone empty pockets!

Supposing as them as settled all these
most himportant matters had just condes-
cended to consult such xperienced hands
as me and Brown, what could we not
have told ’em! How many and many’s
the time as I have seen about a duzzen or
twenty Common Councilmen enter the
dining-room of one of our nice City
Tawerns, all a torking loudly and angrily
at one another, and apenently amost
reddy to cum to bios. Well, they settles
down to their nice little dinner, and the
amost providenshal ad went of the werry
hot soup gives ’em time to forget their
trubbles and differences; and then I fills
their glasses with a bumper of fine old
Sherry; and then won of the wiolentest
and noisyest of ’em all, after holding his
glass up to the light, calls out across the
table to the gent as he’s bin a pitching
into like fewry, and says, with quite a
raydiant smile, “ Jones, my boy, a glass
of wine.” And then Jones replies, with
another jolly grin, and says, “ With all