Punch: Punch (32.1857)

May 9. 1857.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

187

NESTOR AND AGAMEMNON.

In the Quarterly Review, No. 2G2, just published, at the close of a
delightful article' on English Political Satire, appear the following
statements about Mr. Punch.

That "the largest part of Mr. Punch's fun. has always been social."
That his work "is a combination of scattered excellences." That
" the world never before had a specially comic journal of so much
merit, combining social and political matter, and combining also the
satire of the pen with the satire of the pencil." That "the talent of
Gilray and the talent of Hook are found in it together." That "the
Snob Papers would not have disgraced the Tatler." That "the do-
mestic sketches of Mb.. ***** are charming little works of art,
which it would be libellous to class with caricatures at all." That
" the fanciful wit which flavours the writings of Mr. *******
carries us back to Puller or Cowley, and is of far rarer growth than
the men of past times would have expected in a paper professedly comic
and polemic." That " in the bright sallies of conversational wit he
has no surviving equal." That " the decorum which distinguishes
Punch from the best effusions of the class in olden days belongs as
much to the age as the periodical." That "at the worst of times our
facetious friend is innocent." That "the greatest proof of Punch's
success is the number of its imitators, the Pasquins, Pucks, Puppet
Shows, Squibs, Sparks, Great Guns, Journals for Laughter, Joe Millers,
Mephistophiieses, Diogeneses, Judys, Tobys, Falstaffs, Punchinellos, all
those loose bantlings of the wit of the great city, now no more.

Quos dulois vita? exsortes et ab ubere raptos,
Abstulit atra dies, et funere merbit acerbo." *

"Long," adds the Quarterly Review, "may Punch survive these short-
lived offshoots from the parent stem."

Mr. Punch is far too much overcome to do more than to acknowledge
the strict justice of all that the reviewer has advanced, and say Amen,
and to answer the Quarterly, reverently, in the words of the King of
Men to Nestor—

" Thy tears are awful, and thy words are wise."

* For the information of the railway interest, evangelical bishops, the military,
and others supposed to be unacquainted with classical literature, Mr. Punch begs to
translate.

" Which at starting were clearly unfit for the race,
And quickly shut up, in insolvent disgrace."

Pattern Piety.

Captain Gordon, an earnest Tory, was defeated at Berwick. What
of that? Bruised spices give forth the strongest odour. Captain
Gordon is a stranger to Berwick ; nevertheless Captain Gordon has
offered to budd a new Church outside the walls at his own expense !
" The human mind," says Doctor Pangloss, "naturally looks forward."
There will come another election; and though a clergyman is not
eligible for Parliament, a man may nevertheless seek the House of
Commons through the Church.

ODE TO HUMPHRY BROWN.

What matter, Humphry, if our name

Be sullied with a little shame ?

To future times if we go down

With Paul and Co., my Humphry Brown P

The mark of shame no longer

Is now, with red-hot brand,
As when men's nerves were stronger,

Burnt in the rogue's right hand.
Ah! we are gentler to our brothers

Than stern Britons were of yore ;
We do not crop or slit each other's

Ears or noses any more.
No scoundrel's spattered visage

The pillory doth frame.
There is no smart, in this age,

No sting involved in shame.
Those whom reproaches only can assail,

Such missiles can endure with patience meek.
Mere empty words are flung by those who rail,
And not full eggs, that really hurt the cheek
Which they saluted with a noisome crash.
No backs are scored by Satire's airy lash.
Hooray ! we can't be whipped at the cart's tail.

Oh, joyful mitigation,

Of penal legislation!
Sing whipping, branding, pillory, and stocks,

All, all abolished,

O'erthrown, demolished !
And if a brother's caught, who, like a fox,

Turns out to have been living ;

His brethren are forgiving,
Porbearingly regard his depredations,
And judge in mercy of his peculations.
Priends, we have all of us our little failings.
Come, come, ye diddled, hush those noisy waitings
Ye ruined, check those bitter curses ;
And oh, ye bitten, shut not up your purses.
Your trustfulness in man let no fact smother.

We all, at times,

Commit some crimes.
Hope on, and trust, and swindle one another !

Now, meanwhile, Humphry, let us thank

Our stars, and chiefly Mercury,
The planet of the British Bank,

Named from the rascal's deity,
That some are not now at the crank

Grinding, as they deserve to be.
Nor tripping, on uneasy toes,

Upon the tread-mill's steps—as yet.
Nor picking oakum, task for those

Who have picked pockets, fitly set,
The penal servants of the Crown:—
Or where should we be, Humphry Brown ?

THE WICKED SCOTCH SWAELOW.

That old friend and contemporary, the Dumfries Courier, states,
respecting the swallow, that "this welcome harbinger of summer
made his appearance at Dumfries on Sunday." It is to be feared that
the publication of this intelligence wdl be prejudicial to the unfor-
tunate bird, and will perhaps subject it to persecution at the hands of
the Scotch Sabbatarians, who, during the ensuing summer, may be
pleased to vent their bigotry, and at the same time exercise their
marksmanship, as many of them as have any, on the swallow, by shooting
it for the sin of appearing at Dumfries on the " Sabbath."

SNIPPINGS AND CLIPPINGS.

A Critic is always more feared than loved.

When you're beaten, fairly beaten, say it's treachery.

To believe that you are clever, when you are only spiteful, is a double deception.

Those who fancy that money can do everything are generally prepared to do
everything for money.

Love and a good dinner are the only two things which effectually change the
character of a man.

Too much pleasure and too much sun are bad both for women and flowers.

Experience is a flannel waistcoat that we do not think of putting on, until after
we have caught cold.

Poll mankind to-morrow as to which of the two they would sooner be, "A Knave
or a Eool? " The majority would be at least 2 to 1 in favour of the Knaves !