Punch (71.1876)

A DOUBLE DISAPPOINTMENT.

Stern Hostess (who is giving Private Theatricals). "You Abe very Late, Mr. Fitz Smythe. They've begun long ago!"
Languid Person of Importance (who abominates that particular form of Entertainment). " What ! You don't mean to Say they're
at it still ! "

A DAY IN THE KINTRA.

No appeal is needed to procure the enjoyment of a " Day in the
Country," at least for the fortunate children at present receiving an
eleemosynary education in the various Sunday Schools at merry
Jedburgh. A pic-nic held annually affords them, more completely
perhaps than even Rosherville can the excursionist, "a happy day."
The next of these joyous gatherings, to include all the Sunday
Schools, was fixed, at a meeting of Sunday School Teachers, held
the other Monday evening in the Vestry at Blackfriars Church, for
the 12th of July. Arrangements made for the proposed festivities
will render the treat provided for the poor children a quite
uncommon one. The pic-nic is to he held in the Dovecote Park at
Hartrigge, whither, before starting, they are first to be regaled
with an address delivered in one of the Churches. Then they, the
scholars of (1) the Free Church, (2) Blackfriars Church, (3) E. U.
Church, (4) Established Church, (5) High Street U. P. Church, will
march in that order of procession to the scene of revelry—the order
to be reversed on their return home, which will probably not be
deferred till morning. These points having been settled, then, says
the Jedburgh Advertiser:—

" The next point taken up was the proceedings at the field, and it was first
resolved, after a lively discussion, that dancing he entirely prohibited, and
that the band play no dance-music."

The discussion which resulted in a determination of such remark-
able liveliness, must have been "lively" indeed. Dancing and
dance-music having been prohibited, with a view still more effectu-
ally to promote innocent mirth—

" The next suggestion was that no prizes be given for racing, &c, the
gentleman who made the proposition alleging that the games had a demoral-
ising effect, and were just preparing the callants for the sport3 on the
Dunion."

Unfortunately, the Jedburgh Advertiser does not enable Punch
to reward this particularly canny Scottish gentleman with the cele-

brity he deserves. But even that perfervid Scot was out-Scotted in
the fervour of purely virtuous and beneficent solicitude. The
wisdom and goodness—even the common sense of his proposal may
have had questioners ; but—

"A good deal of discussion having taken place, this motion was also
carried. It was, moreover, insinuated that the presence of the lemonade and
soda-water stalls afforded cover for fugitive tippling in stronger liquor, and .
consequently it was determined to banish them likewise."

No dancing. No dance-music even. No encouragement of racing.
No refreshing drinks, lest they should afford cover for the '' fugitive "
—the Teachers of course meant surreptitious—tippling of " whusky."
Quite a climax in cutting off occasions of peccadillo—rather than
sin, as a chiel o' wrath might say. But the Jedburgh Sunday School
Teachers in council over a contemplated pic-nic have shown to what
a pinnacle of piety Scottish Calvinists can climb in prescribing the
restriction of pleasure. Perhaps they are capable of climbing higher
still. An improvement on banishing lemonade and soda-water from
the drinkables, would be the banishment from the eatables allowed
at the children's pic-nic of all luxuries more sumptuous _ than
"bannocks" and parritch." Moreover, to inspire the children
with thoughts and feelings befitting an occasion evidently designed
to be a solemn festival, the band interdicted from dance-music might
be further instructed to accompany the procession of the joyous
youngsters to and from their banquet with a funeral march. It
may be hoped that the existing regulations for their delight, how-
ever, will abundantly suffice to impress their young hearts with a
sense of what a day they are having; and at its conclusion their
considerate entertainers will naturally lay their heads on their pil-
lows with the solace of an approving conscience—and aiblins a
nightcap of extra " toddy."

poetry and finance.

Aitong all the quotations in all the Money Market and City
Articles who ever met with a line of verse ?