Punch (71.1876)

66 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 12, 1876.

A ROUND-ABOUT ROAD.

Master (cool and comfortable). " 'Ncommonly "Warm, James ! "

Gardener {mopping his brow). " That it be, Sir ! Tom over there he arst me to arst you if you'd Stand a extry Glass
0' Beer, an' I told him ' Certain'y not ! I couldn't think o' such a thing !' Phew ! It be won'erful Hot, sure-ly !! "

The portmanteau is packed. The Black Boy accompanies me. I
must have some one to accompany me " when I go on a musical tour
—(this is a jeu de mot, or kommikwordenspiel, for Herr Wagner.
Fits ! !)—and I've secured as a fellow-traveller, my dear old friend
the Swedish Pole, Dr. Schlappshager, who was banished from Bul-
gravia for his political opinions, and, coming over here, wrote that
admirable article in the Threeweekly on " The B flat, and how to
catch it with a tuning-fork," which caused such a sensation in
musical and scientific circles. It was a masterly production. As
Dr. Schlappshager is not a rich man, I shall have to pay his ex-
penses. But he will be worth every penny of 'em to You, Sir. He
is a large eater, but his liquor is a trifle ; and you cannot, now-a-
days, get such rare musical talent as his for nothing. He is a
Practician as well as a Theorist, and brings his case of instruments
with him. We are going to "do Wagner" all the way to Bay-
reuth^ I am an adept on the banjo, the Doctor is A1 with the
accordion (which is his national instrument, and you should see him
whirling it about his head in a patriotic frenzy!), while the bones
naturally fall to my black boy, Sam. It is a brilliant notion, and I
fancy, judging by what is done on the road to Goodwood, Epsom,
and Ascot, that we ought to pick up a pretty groschen on the road,
which we shall, of course, give to the starving poor, or some local
charity. We shall call ourselves the " Warblilngen Wagners."
That '11 fetch the Germans. No burnt cork. All white—hat, boots,
shirts, wigs, all white except Sam, who is the genuine article. Light
hearts and white hats! Off to Bayreuth! Train ready! Post the tin.
Vive Wagner ! We 're taking over an illumination and fireworks.

■with whom the loan, in our interest, was negotiated, did call at our office, but,
unfortunately, after we had left. In this weather, our business hours are
necessarily early. This may catch his eye ; in which case, he will understand
that we have been compelled, by sudden press of business, to go to "Wales, but
hope to see him, and thank him for his kindness, immediately on our return.
The Public is now in full possession of all the preliminary circumstances, and
knows as much about our worthy Correspondent's musical expedition to Bay-
reuth, as, up to the present moment, we do ourselves. We sincerely trust that
the result will be highly satisfactory to all parties.—Ed.

The Doctor is calling to me "Mein goot freund, man will unter
Segel gehen und xvartet nur auf Sie ! " To which I reply " Kommt :
wir Sind fertig: nehmt diese zwei Mantelsdchef '* So off we go
with our two " Mantelsachs " (lovely word, eh ? so expressive!), away
to Bayreuth! Soon you shall hear all the news from one who will
always sign himself, most affectionately and rovingly,

Your Representative.

* We have no doubt now of our Correspondent's good intention. He is
evidently a perfect German, and so is his friend. Whatever we may think of
his plan for travelling as " Warbling Wagners," we are sure that everything
will be done by him in excellent taste, and with a view to making the English
character respected on the Continent. At the same time our Headers must
make allowances for a man of undeniable genius. Genius is above rules ; and
if Genius chooses to travel with a banjo, a German Professor with an accor-
dion, and a black servant with the bones, we can but smile and pass on, mur-
muring, " Well, after all, what harm to anybody ?—and Genius is eccentric,
or it would not be Genius."

We feel these remarks (made in perfect good faith) are due both to our
enterprising Contributor and to the sagacity of our respected Readers. —Ed.

Plea for Political Prisoners.

Killing is no murder if complicated with treason. That renders
it a mere misdemeanor. A military offence, simply capital, becomes
a minor offence when treasonable besides. Treason is an extenuating
circumstance of mutiny and murder, and its commission in commit-
ting those crimes reduces murderers and mutineers to political
offenders. Therefore, instead of being hanged or shot, they ought,
if punished at all, and not, on the contrary, rewarded, to be con-
demned to nothing worse than temporary seclusion, and should, all
of them, after a merely nominal imprisonment, be respectfully
released.

A Distinction with a Difference.—The distinction between
a picked man and a plucked man.