Punch (71.1876)

140

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 30, 1876.

HINT TO DEER-STALKERS.

FEMALE DEESS REVOLUTION.

Philadelphia, has been considerably enlivened by an
interesting revival. The American Free Dress League,
by recent accounts, has been sitting in the Quaker City.
The Dress Reform, however, contemplated by this
Association has no tendency to the style of the Society
of Friends. It is to be a resuscitated Bloomerism. One
of a string of resolutions read before the Dress Reformers,
by Mrs. Mapy E. Tlllottson, of Yineland, New Jersey,
indicates the improved costume proposed for women as
follows :—

" Resolved that such garmenture shall be of the dual form,
for the legs as well as the arms, as their use and all reason
indicate; that the prejudice against trousers for women is
founded on ignorance and tyranny, is fostered by many vicious
and sordid motives, and ought to be banished from the earth by
the full sanction and fearless effort of all people."

The Ladies who denounce the tyranny of Fashion and
of Man in these strong expressions seem not to have
considered that their violent language on the subject'of
female dress is really subversive of all petticoat govern-
ment. Perhaps the motives which foster the prejudice
against trousers for women may be vicious ; but in what
respect can they be said to be sordid ? Possibly, inas-
much as one of the Dress Reformers lamented that she
could not afford the garmenture of the dual form for the
legs as well as the arms, because stingy men object to it
as too expensive. If Ladies' milliners' bills will be
exceeded by those of their tailors, the expense of the
garmenture with the crural dualities will be great
indeed. Dress Reform and retrenchment will by no
means go together, and Ladies will be utterly unable to
dress like Gentlemen on £15 a year. Until, therefore,
the tenderer sex can manage to achieve their pecuniary
independence of the tougher, the practicability of Dress
Reform in the dual direction will become a question for
the pocket of that garmenture at present remaining
exclusively masculine. "Woman, in fact, must work out
her own emancipation, if she wishes, as some of her
sisterhood in America at least, if not elsewhere, avowedly
do, to wear the knickerbockers.

A Gpeat Eastepn" Question.—How long does the
Corporation of London intend to maintain the existing
status quo of Temple Bar ?

sold, after all. Only out for exercise with the brothers, who could
not leave it at home. Drive on. Perhaps it is a Pet Lamb, accus-
tomed to go about with them all over the place, like his counter-
part in that noble American war-song—

" Polly had a little Lamb

Its fleece was white as snow—
Raise, Boys, the battle-cry of Freedom !—
And everywhere that Polly went
The Lamb was sure to go—
Shout, Boys! the battle-cry of Freedom! "

For which stanza I think the Patriot Bard ought to have been
presented with the freedom of Colwell Hatchney. But, drive on!
this meditating and talking to oneself is hungry work, and methinks
it is " an eager and a nipping air,"—though I object to " nipping "
at any time, and specially before breakfast. On, on, brave horse!
Hie thee through the vale of Clara and Lara—Tra-la-la-lara.'—
(oh, the mountain air ! oh, the poetic breeze !—such an infernal east
wind that I've had my Ulster on for three days ; so that—Happy
Thought.—Here's Ulster in Wicklow. Arrange this/ew de mot after
breakfast; too cold now, but see my way to it)—to the Vale of the
Seven Churches.

Happy Thought—The Yale of Clara. Basis for Irish romance.
Clara, the lovely girl—lover killed—rather than wed the Detested
Rival Lara, she takes the veil. Hence the name. The Veil of
Clara. As for Lara, as Lopd Bypon was before me over this
ground, i.e. "through Lapa's wide domain," perhaps I had better
not attempt it. But, stay—that I^ara wasn't this Lara. This, I
fancy, is spelt Laragh. That was Count Lara, and some relation to
Conrad the Corsair.

But, thank Heaven !—

Happy Thought.—Here's the Hotel of the Seven Churches.

We are so early that nobody is up. Hollo ! House ! What ho !
Within there ! How now, my masters ! Marry come up—I mean
marry get up—ye Lie-a-beds ! Ah ! there's a bar behind the door
(as there often is in a hotel even when the door's open)-—but now—
the bar is down. " Who calls so loud ? "

" 'Tis I! 'tis I! here now I stand contest.
Landlord ! behold in me your welcome guest."

Which would be a grand opportunity for an opening chorus—if
they only knew how to start it. How operatically life might go on
could everybody enter into the joke, and, of course, have an ear for
music.

Landlord of the Hostelrie of Glendalough, what have ye where-
with to refresh your first visitor ?

{Happy Thought.—Good character for a supernumerary in a play,
"First Visitor.")

If I am the swallow of the Summer, what is there in your larder
to keep this Swallow's pecker up ? In other words, what is there
for breakfast ?

" Well, Sir, ye see 'tis early, but there 's some nice cold Lamb .'"
No. Not Lamb this morning. When I think of that dear
Lambkin—I should feel like an Ogre. Prepare me a fish from
yonder lake ; and, so ye have a pig, mine host, have at him, with a
will! Frizzle me a rasher ! Neither let me stint for eggs ! Nay,
Sir, I hear a cackle this instant! Look to it, for, mark me, the egg
must be of the freshest. And in one hour by Shrewsbury clock will
I return, after having "done" the Upper Lake, seen St. Kevin's
Kitchen, and rested on St. Kevin's Bed. {To the Guide.) Come, boy,
come ! To the Lake ! Away!

THE FEMALE CAPACITY.

At the recent Meeting of the British Association, held at Glasgow,
the opening Address in the Economic Science and Statistical Depart-
ment was delivered by Sip Geopge Campbell, who appears to have
" discussed a variety of topics, from Thriftiness to Women's Rights,"
and, "in regard to the Women's question," to have " suggested a
scientific inquiry into their capacities." But which of their capaci-
ties, Sip Geopge ? Their capacity for admiration, or their capacity
for amusement, or their capacity for spending money, or their
capacity for varied and costly attire, or their capacity for gossip, or
their capacity for flirtation and fascination P Oh no ! He .meant

f