Punch (71.1876)

1G2

PUNCH, Oft THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[October 14, 1876.

MECHANICS IN SPORT.

No. 2.—Steam Ejector and Spinning Apparatus for Jack and Chub Fishing.

THE SITUATION" AT STAMBOUL.

Says Suaviter in 3Iodo

To Fortiter in Re—
{Alias Henry Elliot

To Ignatieff)—says he,
" Let me convince the Padishah,

MlDHAT, bushdi, & Co.,

That as Lord Derby sees things,
They things should see also."

To Suaviter in Modo

Says Fortiter in Re,
" You may argue with the Turcos

Till blue in face you be.
But your Turco knows one pressure—

Of a fist upon him thrust:
And your Turco knows one reason—

'I must—because I must.'

" So, Suaviter in Modo

And Fortiter in Re,
If they 're to work to profit,

In their working must agree.
I '11 find the hand of iron,

You may find the velvet glove,
And, hand in glove, by acting,

"We may force the Turk to move."

wheels within wheels.

We hear of meetings for discussion in
Bicycling Circles. Is every Member of a
Velocipede Club a Spokesman P

Happy Thought (Turkish).—Any Porte
in a storm.

Dannato when he informed me that the second title was the Schie-
dam Hollander. I set him right on this point while we were listen-
ing to Mr. Ripley's Holbornian Restaurant Band assisting our
digestion with the melodious overture to Tannhduser.
Then to the Alhamhra.

The Bulbul was delighted with the Ballet, and the performances
of the Fiendish Girards, who are fearfully and wonderfully made
up. They are not out of place at the Alhambra—on the contrary ;
but they are out of place in the Comic Opera, Don Quixote. Mr. Clay
has written some charming Ballet music, and the Chivalry Song is
the best in the piece.

But the Opera should have been a Bou ffe, somebody like Mr. Fred
Vokes (though the Girards outvokes Yokes, I'm afraid); for the
Don, and Mr. Paulton, with the Song of " Proverbs Gone Wrong,"
as Sancho Panza. Anyhow, the Girards, who have nearly put the
noses of the " Fiji Flutterers " out of joint (lucky for the latter it is
" noses," and not legs or arms), are well worth a visit.

Then to the Lyceum. It was the second night of the Flying
Dutchman, and if a crowded house and genuine enthusiasm— (the sing-
ing of Mdlle. Torriani and Mr. Santley in the Second Act created
a perfect furore)—go for anything, then Mr. Carl Rosa may con-
gratulate himself, as I heartily congratulate him, on one of the
biggest operatic successes that has been witnessed in town for many
a long day. With the Lyceum orchestra and chorus there is scarcely
a fault to be found ; the size, the acoustic properties of the house,
and Herr Wagner's wind instruments, being taken into considera-
tion. The music flows on from first to last, never once interrupted
by that cold-water curse of English opera, which has been hitherto
considered necessary to the inteUigible rendering of a plot—the dia-
logue, which generally falls as flat as the "spoken" in an old-
fashioned comic song.

The Second Act of TheFlying Dutchman is, to my thinking, too
long, for the climax is reached when Vanderdecken enters, and is
recognised by Leuta. To bring the act-drop down on this situation
would have been a dramatic effect too conventional perhaps for
Herr Wagner. I propose, Sir, to return to the consideration of this
striking opera on another occasion. After it, the Bey and myself
sought the Lane of the Maiden where we are accustomed to pass
some " half-hours with the Best Oysters." And so for the present
I remain, Wagnarianly,

Your Representative.

A Ray of Intelligence in the Darkness of Spiritualistic
Folly.—Professor Lankester.

RUMOURED TURKISH REFORMS.

It is whispered that the following particulars, amongst others, of
a project for Turkish Reform, have been submitted by the Great
European Powers to the Sublime Porte :—

The Sultan to accord his subjects a Constitution, and himself to
be transformed into a Constitutional Sovereign. Turkey in Europe
and Turkey in Asia to be consolidated into a Limited Monarchy,
with Representative Institutions.

The Legislature, with the Sultan, acting by responsible Ministers,
at its head, to consist of a Senate and Chamber of Deputies ; the
latter electing the former, and elected itself with Vote by Ballot
and Universal Suffrage, embracing the political Rights of Women.

Mahometanism, as the State Religion, to be disestablished and
disendowed, and all sects and denominations to be placed upon a
footing of absolute equality.

The universal establishment of Trial by Jury. Jurors to be
eligible irrespective of creed.

A general system of Compulsory Education, admitting denomina-
tional schools ; but where these are found inadequate, administered
by School Boards, with' authority to levy Rates to any amount suffi-
cient to defray all necessary expenses.

Cheap administration of justice by means of County Courts, to be
established in Counties, into which the entire Turkish Empire shall
be divided for that purpose. Regular and periodical Gaol Deliveries,
Assizes, and Quarter Sessions.

THE BEST PART OF A LIFE.

The strength of Onions is proverbial. Hercules may be supposed
to have been typified by the Onion, because the Onion, like himself,
is so uncommonly strong. But though it be excellent to have an
Onion's strength, 'tis tyrannous to use it like an Onion, such an one
as one William Onion, had up on Wednesday last week at Worship
Street, charged with being drunk and disorderly, and with having
committed a violent assault on Robert Hill, 101 H. Onion had
been found by the Constable in Leman Street, Whitechapel, standing
over a man whom he had just knocked down, like an Onion strong
enough and savage enough to knock down anybody. The Constable
tried to persuade him to go home, when Onion refused, and, besides
expressing himself in generically strong language, abused his
strength by violently kicking the Constable's shins, and trying to
kick him in a still more dangerous manner.

" In answer to questions by the Magistrate, the Constable said the prisone?