Punch (71.1876)

186 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 28, 1876.

HOSTS AND GUEST?.

Guest. " Good-bye,—enjoyed ourselves so much!"

Host. " SO sorry YOU are GOING,—NOW, CAN'T WE PERSUADE YOU,—HOW THE TlME HAS FLOWN !—HoPE WE SHALL SOON SEE

you ao

Coctchman (confidentially}. "Will Or make 'em too late for the Thrain, Sor ? I can AST-
His Master (in dumb show). "If you dake, Sir ! Duive like the -! !"

SOME CHARACTERISE ICS OP SPIRITS.

The Spirits of Spirit-Rappers, and Spirit-Writers, from the style
of their messages as published in the Spiritualist papers and
periodicals, appear almost all to have belonged to one class of
society, of which they still preserve the ideas and language. WTith
scarcely an exception they express themselves like persons of the
lower middle class. No Spirits ever affect the peculiar phraseology
of Swells, or even, use that of educated gentlemen and ladies.
They usually talk as though their style had been derived from the
perusal_ of low newspapers, and from sitting under semi-taught
Dissenting Preachers.

The names under which they announce themselves are chiefly the
familiar and endearing diminutives of common domestic life, such
as "Allie" and "Katie" if female, otherwise the ordinary
Christian names John, Peter, and so on; though a few assume a
pompous pseudonym like " Imperator," and not a few call them-
selves by ridiculous nicknames—for instance, " Kibosh."

In short the Spirits, as a body, are intensely vulgar. Every Spirit
is a snob. His speech bewrayeth him. He is also a dullard. The
utterances of Spirits are generally platitudes of the broadest kind—
copy-book precepts diluted. A Spirit professing to be Benjamin
Franklin talks penny-a-line. Shakspeare, Bacon, Newton,
Bonaparte, Byron, philosophers, poets, statesmen, sovereigns, all
of them invariably spell out the sentiments, in the idiom, of a
loquacious and conceited mechanic, or small tradesman. The
mighty dead are"also very commonly apt to be facetious in a similar
homely vein ; and their highest effusions correspond to the eloquence
of a temperance orator declaiming at a " Tea."

The truth appears to be that, whether or no the Spirits ever
impart messages in foreign or dead languages, in French, German,
Spanish, Hebrew, Latin, and Greek, their communications in the
vulgar tongue, not.:to say in plain English, never rise above the

level of a med:'ocritv, which, without a pun, may be said to be that
of the Medium—though it comes nearer to cenea than " aurea medio-
critas."__

On the " Inclusive " System.

Tnis is a good example of what one may call "lumping]" it.
From the'Daily. News of.Oct. 18 :—

WITH IMMEDIATE POSSESSION.—A Lady having started a
SCHOOL in a good and rising neighbourhood, has to resign it in con-
sequence of domestic arrangements, and wishes to DISPOSE OF the same.
Six pupils, two forms, large writing-table, and scholastic door-plate. Price
£3. Comfortable apartments.—Address, &c.

More Vulgarian Atrocities!

To ask for that delightful Song, "'Tis the Arp in the Hair."
To give bad Champagne, which you can't afford, instead of good
Bitter Beer, which you can.

To eat Melted Butter with a knife.

To talk of how you "moved in the best Society " at the place you
last came from.

To torment Horses with Bearing-Reins, for the sake of making
them toss their heads and champ their bits.

A Chixb that is " Taeing Notice " at Last.—The Occupier of
Temple Bar.

The Inhabitants of the Strand are anxious for Wood Pavement.
We would suggest Beech.

Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. ?0, Loraine Road, Holloway.in the Parish of St. Mary, Islington, in tl e County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Aenew,& Co. Lombard
Street, in the Precinct of Wbitsfriars, in the City of London, and published by him at No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride,City of London.- Saturday, October 28,1876.