Punch (71.1876)

MAKING SHORT WORK OF IT.

QUALIFYING FOR HUNT EACES.

Master of Hounds. "Look here, Boy, that Horse you want to Qualify is kicking my best young Hounds,—so tell your
Master I'll give him a Certificate To-morrow,—if you won't come out again!"

larks, as larks are loved by " A Lover of British Birds " ?
Plumage is surely a merit as much demanding exemption from being
eaten as song. Some lover of birds, for tbe mere look of them, will
next perhaps propose—in the season when Parliament is shooting—
a Plea for the Pheasant, and the Partridge, against the Dealer in
Game.

There are other birds than larks, but unlike larks growing very
scarce, against whose total destruction it is much to be wished that
" any sentiment left in modern society " should, by all means, " be
aroused and expressed." Eagles, falcons, hawks, kites, buzzards,
hen-harriers, have been almost all of them improved off the face of
the country by pot-hunting landed poulterers. There is hardly a
raven anywhere to be seen, and for a young one in a cage the other
day a bird-fancier asked one of Mr. Punch's young men half a
guinea. Of course birds of prev should be kept under ; but what a
shame to exterminate them! Their extirpation has despoiled the
landscape of living ornaments. It has been a destruction of things
of beauty which ought to have been preserved to be joys for ever.
Is not this a barbarity which every genuine Lover of British Birds
must deplore, and denounce, and endeavour, if possible and not too
late, to get repaired ?

CHIPS PROM THE ADVERTISEMENT COLUMN.

This remarkably] cool offer lately appeared in the Islington
Gazette :—

AGood HOME offered to a clean-looking young Person, of respectable
family (of tradespeople preferred) ; must produce good references, and
be able to assist in tbe nursery; £6 per annum for clothing given. Apply
any morning at-, &c. No fare allowed unless engaged.

And the following^ from that organ of the Clergy the Guardian,
gives one a pleasant idea of the advertiser:—

WANTED, by a Widow Lady, a PERSON who is experienced in the
art of Whipping, and well qualified to administer a severe Flogging
with a new birch rod to two young children of the ages of nine and ten. Wages
£30 per annum. The children are very wilful and troublesome. Address, &c.

However, £30 a year for a Flogger is handsome compared with
£20 a year for a Governess—a very common salary.

The next, from the Field, is, in some respects, mysterious :—

WANTED, a tall UNDER BUTLER, with long recommendations,
where four men are kept, and the family go to London in the season ;
wages £30 to £35.—Apply, &c.

Can " recommendations," like " continuations," be a euphemism
for any part of a Footman's clothing ? The two words can't mean
the same thing, or the epithet would rather, one would think, be
"short" than "long" :—
What a chance is here for Ccelebs in search of a Wife !—

AWIDOW LADY and her Sister (both musical), living in a large
well-furnished house, wish to receive one more GENTLEMAN to join
their small circle. Late dinner. No clerks need reply.—Ida, &c, &c.

"Ida," the name of Tennyson's Princess ! Sweetly suggestive !
And a " Widow," too—with sorrows to sympathise in, and tears to
wipe away ! The other sister—a gusher too, probably—both musical
—dear delightful creatures, with voices soft and low, we will be
bound; that "excellent thing in woman"! "Man-traps set on
these premises." Bachelors, beware !

This appeared in the Standard of the day before Guy Fawkes's
festive and flreworky anniversary:—■

STRICT DISCIPLINE.—A Gentleman in the country desires to secure
the services of a thoroughly qualified GOVERNESS to teach French,
Italian, Drawing, and Music. No one need apply who objects to judicious
corporal punishment.

A pleasant sort of man this Country Gentleman must be, and his
family, no doubt, must be extremely fond of him. To judge from
his advertisement, there seems to be small fear that his children
will be spoilt by such an injudicious sparing of the rod as is prover-
bial. We wonder if he gives them their chastisement himsell, or
expects their governess to act as flogger for him. Mrs. Squeersor
Sally Brass perhaps might suit this situation : but we doubt li tne
advertisement is likely to prove attractive to an educated lady.