Punch (71.1876)

December 23, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 279

FOR CHRISTMAS PARTIES;

RACKERS to be Let 0$

at intervals during
Dinner or Dessert.

Asteonomehs have
ascertained, by the
Patent New Steam
Telescope, that the
Dwellers in the Stars
which form the
Milky-Way, bear, on
close inspection, a strongly marked resemblance to the Kurds.

A Member of the Peace Society has been Lecturing at Hanwell
for the purpose of securing the co-operation of its Inmates in
Petitioning for a General Suppression of the Zoo-phytes.

Owing to the outcry against our Vulgarian Atrocities, an influen-
tial City Gentleman has abstained for a whole fortnight from the
dropping of an H.

It is rumoured in New York that Mr. Barnum is in treaty for the
purchase of Temple-Bar, which he desires to place in his Historical
Museum.

A whisper has been gaining credence on the Stock Exchange that,
on and after the first day of April next, all Passengers by Trains
running Northward of the Thames will be supplied with Newspapers
and Refreshments Gratis, at the Cost of the Directors.

In Fashionable Society the non de plume of "Ouida" is called
"Wider." Her New Tale will be entitled, "As Broad as it is
Long."

% A Company has been formed for the purpose of working an exten-
sive vein of coals which has lately been discovered in the crater of
Vesuvius.

An influential Deputation of able-bodied Paupers has attended
the Home Secretary, with the object of requesting him to introduce
a Bill, to prohibit the purchase of Australian beef and mutton for
the inmates of our Workhouses.

It has been calculated by a member of the criminal profession,
that a decrease of ninety-seven and a half per cent, is certain to
take place in cases of wife-beating, within a year after the Cat has
been prescribed as a fit punishment.

The Ladies on the Oxford School Board are getting up petitions
for amendment of the Education Act, so as to insure the teaching of
plain cookery in all our Infant Schools.

After much discussion, it is finally resolved that members using
latch-keys shall be civilly, but firmly, requested to withdraw from
aU the West-End Clubs.

It is predicted by the Bivalve Statistical Society that, at the birth
of the next century, Oysters will be valued at a sovereign a-piece,

and a Sumptuary Act will probably be called for, limiting the con-
sumption to half a one per head when served at public dinners.

A Chinamaniac has petitioned the Chancellor of the Exchequer
that the tax of a strait-waistcoat shall be laid, by Government, upon
all buyers of old porcelain.

At a Meeting of Dramatic Managers, which is appointed to be
held in the middle of next week, it will be proposed that, in the
interests of the Drama, and to meet the need of playgoers who
reside in London, no piece will be permitted to run without a change
for more than thirty nights.

A startling story has been circulated by some members of the
Ladies' Club, that a Cook has condescended to accept a situation
where no Kitchen-maid is kept, on condition that a carriage is pro-
vided to take her to early service on Sundays.

ME. PUNCH'S CHRISTMAS NUMBER TOR 1876.

{In the festive style which seems appropriate to the season.)
Chapter I.—The Infant Ghost!

Again the weird creature crept through the long lone walk of
Ghastley Grange!

Lady Laura and her companion started from the tree (behind
which they had been hiding in very terror), and pointed at the
spectre as, slowly and surely, it crept along. It was a moment full
of horror for both. Albert had been pleading his suit with all the
impassioned eloquence of a young barrister fresh from the Old
Bailey, and she had been listening to him. And now they were
interrupted. Here, alone in the moonlight, they thought themselves
safe from intrusion, and they were wrong. A creature as unsub-
stantial as the air, as awful as the Unknown, was creeping, crawling-
through the long, lone walk.

" What is it ? " asked Albert, for the fourth time.

Lady Laura gave a great shudder, and clung to her companion's
shoulder with renewed energy. Then came a frightened whisper.

"It is the Bane of our Race. The villagers over yonder call it
the ' Infant Ghost' ! "

And then Albert noticed that the apparition was crawling on all-
fours.

" We both have seen it," murmured Lady Laura, trembling with
terror, " and now you must know all. It is I, the girl who loves
you, the woman who would go through fire and water to save you a
moment's pain, who must tell you this—a story that will rob you of
all your joy, turn you from the gayest of the gay into the gravest
of the grave : a story that will steal from you your peace of mind,
and make you prematurely old."

" What is this story ? " he asked, impatiently.

" The story of the Infant Ghost. You must know, then, that"-

and here she paused. She pressed her hand to her heart, gave a
heavy sigh, and died.

Chapter II.—The Fatal Telegram !

Christmas Eve ! A grand old castle, ruby with red berries, and
covered with mistletoe. The armoured figures reflected back the
glare of the Yule-logs as they burned brightly in half a score of
wainscoted rooms. Everybody was smiling. Even the old portraits
of the family of Fitz-Brownsmlth seemed to laugh fitfully as the
firelight illumined them,

The Earl was holding high revel in the Hall. Scores of guests sat
at the festive board, toying with the dessert, and drinking bumpers
to every newly-proposed toast. Only one of all that gallant com-
pany was pale, only one had eyes starting out of bis head, only one
had hair rising from the roots in abject terror. That one was
Albert de Pentonville, or, as he must now be called, "the Lost
One." The death of Lady Laura had greatly annoyed him.

The Earl was on his feet. He looked proudly at a picture behind
him, representing a Patriarch leaving an Ark. It was the portrait
of the Founder of the Family of Fitz-Brownsmith.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," cried the jovial Earl, and his cheery
voice rang merrily through the vaulted halls, "I have one more
toast to propose—one that will make you leap to your feet and
cheer with all your might. Need I say that I propose the health
of-"

But the sentence was never finished. At this moment a telegram
was thrust into the Earl's hands. To tear it open, read it, and turn
as white as a sheet was the work of a moment. The enraged noble-
man threw the paper into the fire, and, trembling with passion,
approached Albert.

Scoundrel! " he cried, and then turned to the Armoury.
But before the infuriated Earl could seize a battle-axe, Albert
had quitted the apartment.

Chapter III.—The Secret Treasure of Heidelberg Castle.

" We shall be Princes after this night's adventure," said Carl to
Albert, as they climbed up the hill towards the Castle ; "we were