Punch (71.1876)

288

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 30, 1876.

FOR TOTAL ABSTAINERS.

Paterfamilias (improving the shining hour). "And now, who succeeded Richard?" Son and Heir. "John."
Paterfamilias. "And what did John sign?" Son and Heir. "The Pledge!"

MR. PUNCH'S PROPHECY FOR 1877.

During the early part of the year a great deal will be said and
written about the Eastern Question, and a Meeting will be held in a
suburban Vestry Hall either to sympathise with the protectors of the
Turkish Christians, or to " strengthen the hands of the Govern-
ment."

On the meeting of Parliament, notice will be given of the pro-
posed introduction of a couple of dozen Bills that will be counted out
as they have often been counted out before.

For the first three months the House will adjourn (on an average)
at half-past nine o'clock. During the rest of the Session, the closing
average will be 3 a.m.

A great many " personal statements " will be made.

A great many too many railway "accidents" will occur. The
Government Reports thereon will be published long after the details
of the mishaps have been forgotten.

Some new periodicals and new papers will come out and go in.

Several " Tragedies » will fill the " Contents Bills » of the daily
papers, with good head-lines for many weeks. These may be chiefly
looked for during the silly season.

A fashionable watering-place will be accused of being overrun
with small-pox, an accusation that will lead to long controversies
in the journals.

Some one will see an early swallow, and write to the papers to
tell the public all about it.

A Series, entitled The Servants' Halls of Old England, by One
who knows Them, will be produced for the entertainment of the
Lower Middle Class.

When the House is up, "the Silent Members" will air their
eloquence before their Country Constituents.

Several marriages will be arranged at Hanover Square, and
disarranged in the Divorce Court.

The sale of Post Cards at Hawarden will increase so largely that
the Post-Offioe revenue for the year will be appreciably raised.

Skating Rinks and Lawn Tennis will be superseded by amuse-
ments equally rational.

A great deal of fuss will be made about the Summer Drills at
Aldershot and its neighbourhood.

Several new Clubs will be opened for the special benefit of their
promoters.

More than one letter will be written about the aims of the Charity
Organisation Society.
The Derby will be won either by a favourite or an outsider.
London will fill and empty as "per usual."

Many brilliant specimens of English Men and "Women will be per-
sonally conducted over the Continent.

There will be winds, rain, fogs, and mist in March, April, May,
September, October, November, and December.

And lastly, everybody will be delighted to welcome Punch's
Almanack and Pocket Book for 1878.

ON A RAGING TOOTH.

KjS unsound Tooth that can't be stopped,

Nor drawn, for all its throes,
May, like the set that Cadmus dropped,

Spring up in armed foes.

Quoth Tooth, " I '11 let down Bishop's pegs

For Folkstone I a match am.
Leave me to lay mock-Roman eggs,

In Ritual nests and Hatcham.'

Punch fain would Mother Church release,

So, no extreme astrid of,
He warns her she will have no peace,

Till this Tooth is got rid of.

General Lysons objects to "loose drill." Perhaps he prefers
stiff buckram.

The Latest Imperial Hatt.—Midhat.