Punch (91.1886)

ELECTIONEERING IN THE GRAND OLD MANNER.

{By Our Lightning Impressionist.)

Following the lead of one of your contemporaries, with an open
mind and a blank^ note-hook, I dashed amongst the Metropolitan
Candidates, determined to ascertain their political principles. My
first visit was to Mr. T. H. Bolton, of North Saint Pancras, who met
me in Gray's-Inn Square.
_ " Mr. Bolton, Sir," I r 1 preparing my pencil, " I believe I am
right in saying, that you ^..ve carried a Bill legalising some very
extraordinary ties ? "

"I have, Sir," returned the Hon. Gentleman, exultingly placing
his right hand near his shirt-collar, and smoothing an tffective
" arrangement" in silk. " I have, Sir, and shall now go about in
peace—without molestation."

" And what do you think of Mr. Gladstone ? "

" One of the greatest Statesmen of the day."
(_Perfectly satisfied with Mr. Bolton's views, I rushed off to see
Sir John Lubbock, who it will be remembered, represents the London
University. I found the Hon. Baronet tending some bees.

"Sir John, I think we owe to you the Bank Holiday, which has
given so many weary clerks a day's leisure ? "

"You are very good indeed to say so," he replied. " Yes, I think
the statutory twenty-four hours of recreation, which I assisted in
establishing, have made the country better."

'I They have indeed," I returned heartily, "nothing could he more
delightful than a seaside place, after it has been invaded by a herd
of Bank-Holiday trippists. And now, about Mr. Gladstone—what
do you say about him ? "

" I think him one of the greatest Statesmen of the day."

Thus assured that Sir John Lubbock, was the best possible
candidate for a Liberal constituency, I made my way with the least
possible delay, to Sir Julian Goldsiltd. I found that amiable
gentleman taking lunch with Mr. Blundell Maple.

" What are your opinions, Sir Julian ? " I asked.

" That my worthy friend here, is the best man in the world, and
that nothing could exceed the grace, utility, the wearability of his
furniture."

"Pray, stop," I said, as I noticed on the cheek of Mr. Blundell
Maple, a slight blush. " Banish from vour mind all thoughts of the
Establishment in the Tottenham Court Road."

" Which is unique and in the long run most economical," cried Sir
Julian, enthusiastically.

" And tell me, what you think of Mr. Gladstone."
" One of the greatest Statesmen of the day."

These three visits, must serve as a sample of the rest. Go where I
would, I heard but one opinion—that the Grand Old Man was indeed
the noblest and best of Premiers. Under these circumstances, can
there be a doubt of the result of the Election ?

THE BALL AT GUILDHALL.

{Friday, June 25.)

Said Goff to Magog, " Now, did you ever ? "

Says Magog to Gog, " Decidedly never !

India, Colonies, thousands invited,

Here's a true Jubilee, Britons united'

Under the Home Rule of Good Queen Vic. !

Her Majestt's health! Now, toss it off quick!

Moet and Chandon. and Pommery! come !

Imperial cheers! Not another word,—Mumm.

The health of ourselves all over the world

Wherever the British flag's unfurled.

Here's to the palm-grove, the orange and myrtle,

Hail to great Albion! cold punch and turtle !

Here's to Hibernia's Ulsters and Papals,

Hoorush for the Church, and three cheers for the Staples ! "

Says Gog to Old Magog, " Wine's got in my head;"

Says Magog to Gog, " All ri'—go to bed."

Revival of Wonders.

In the log of the Bacchante it is seriously and circumstantially
stated that no less than thirteen persons witnessed a veritable appa-
rition of the Flying Dutchman. What next ? Of course the Sea
Serpent may he expected shortly to turn up again, and nobody will
wonder at a full, true, and particular report of the reappearance of
the Wandering Jew. _

In the list of the Public Bills of this Session, is one entered as—
" Idiots [Lords] .... Brought from the Lord*, Ajjril 13."

It ought to have been, the first, instead of the thirteenth of April, to
have been perfect.

vol. xci.

B