Punch (91.1886)

July 17, 1886.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHAKIVAEI.

25

>ARRY ON 'OME RULE.

Deab Chaelie,—Bin at it agin, mate, and slap in the thick of it, too,

Wich at ninety degrees in the coal-'ole is pooty 'ot ullaballoo.

All along of Old Collars, confound 'im !_ as won't take his grnel and go ;

But I think we shall hosh 'im this hinnings, and then I shan't care arf a blow.

I did ought to 'ave bin down at 'Enley_ with Jebemy Jinks and his gal,
And canoodling about in a 'ouse-boat is wot I am nuts on, old pal;
'Stead o' wich I've bin pasting, and posting, and 'owling 'ooray till I'm 'orse,
For I'm boss of our Districk Committee, and bound to cut records, in coourse.

Beastly bore this Eleckshun, my pippin, but wot can a patriot do ?

We must give them Disunionists toko, and fly the old Bed, White, and Blue.

That bloomin' old man in a 'urry 'as got to 'ave one on the nob,

For mucking our Season in this way, and 'Aeey is fair on the job.

"We shan't have no peace till he's settled. I 'oped we'd ha' done it last go,
But that Acres and Cow bizness floored us, thanks mainly to Brummagem Joe.
'Owsomever he backs us this journey, and old Johnny Bboadbbim hisself,
So I fancy the "Woodman must own as it's time he wos laid on the shelf.

I'm Unionist down to my 'obnails, and Protestant all up my back,
A Paddy I 'ate wus than pizen, and as for the PorE and 'is pack,
Lor', Chaelie, they ought to be frizzled. 'Ome Rule is the 'orridest rot,
For a country all Priests and Parnellites is bound to go promply to pot.

"Won't disrnte—whotsit my country, old man, not while I'm 'anging round.
I feels like them Hulster chaps, Chaelie, I'd chaw burning tow by the pound,
And die in no end of last ditches afore I'd cave in to Paenell ;
Leastways so I kid 'em, dear boy, as will probably arnser as well.

'Aeey's fair on the bile, and no error. Lor', Chaelie, the larks we 'ave 'ad!
Take a paste-pot and brush arter dark, and jest drive the Disunionists mad
By sloppin' our bills over theirn wheresomever they stick 'em, yer know.
Our purse is the longest, yer see, so they pooty soon find it's no go.

The ochre is with us, I tell yer, and so is the lotion, old chuck ;

All the pubs are a blazin' with Orange, which strikes me as jolly good luck.

It's precious dry bizness, is 'owling, and brings on a thundering thust,

But of all the palate-parchers, dear boy, I think postage-stamp sticking is wust.

Did six hundered larst Saturday night, it's a lick and a stick, and a thump,
And I tell you that when I had finished, I felt I could dry up a pump.
Polling-cards dontcher know for the Voters ; won't ketch me agin on that lay,
Though six lemon-squoshes, with whiskey, ain't bad, when you don't 'ave to pay.

Well, we've carried our man, my dear Chaelie, and given the Korkus'what for.

That '11 take the starch out of Old Collars. He nobble the masses ? Oh, lor!

Wy the working-class down in our parts is agin 'im amost to a man.

Flood our market with Irish cheap labour ? No fear, mate, that isn't their plan.

'Ome Rule 'ud make Ireland a 'Ades, our Member remarked, and he's right,

When the Paddies 'ud swarm like muskeeters to England. A bloomin' fine sight!

Oh, I tell yer he worked that 'ere argyment proper, our Unionist did,

And we shan't cut our throats for dashed Cartholick brickies, you bet arf a quid.

Lor' bless yer, it's all tommy rot this 'ere " brotherly " bizness. Old Weg
Thinks the working-man's "instink" is with him; he'll find that a precious
bad egg.

Try another, old Josser ! The Sawmes and Tykes may be nicked by his bosh,
But he better not try it down South, for he '11 jolly soon find it won't wosh.
Yah ! Wot a old Juggins he is ! Joe knows better. Not arf a bad sort
That 'ere Chambeeling ain't, arter all. Oh, I tell yer it's proper fine sport
To see 'im a-slating the Old 'Un; and as for that there Mister Caine,
I oould 'ug 'im, my boy, and no error, and stand 'im a pint o' champane.
Wy, the Korkus down 'ere used to washup 'im {toe called him old Monthly Nuss,
'Cos he brought out so many young Clubs, Chaelie), now you should 'ear how
they cuss.

They thought if there wos a 'Ome Ruler 'twos him, as hinformed 'em he sat
At the feet of Germaliel Powee, a 'Ome Ruler all round his 'at.
Aha! Caine has give 'em the Kibosh, and wot makes the beggars feel worse,
Is to 'ear 'im fall foul of the Paddies, and talk of the power o' the purse.
Fact is he's a patriot, like Randolph, and too cute a cove, I should think.
Not to know as a Cause soon gits busted, unless it is backed by the chink.'
Yus, Chaelie, the Ochre is with us ; we don't mean to spend it I 'ope,
In making thing3 snug in Ould Oireland, and 'anding her on to the Pope.
No, the People, the Peers and the Parsons for once pull together, and swear,
To 'ang on to the Union Jack, wich old Weg and 'is shirkers would tear.
'Ang Ireland! I'm sick on her, Charlie. Wy earn't she turn Protestant, hay ?
Her religion is all tommy rot, and she must ha' found out it don't pay.
If she '11 jest chuck it up we can talk to her. Then we can put her all right,
For we'd all be her backers then, Solsbuey, Chambeeling, Spuegeon, and
Beight.

'Owsomever we've bunnicked up Gladsting, a barney all patriots enjoy;
Lor! I 'U stand our Committee drinks round on the day he's kicked out, my
dear boy.

'Ome Rule be eternally jiggered, and as for the traitor who'd carry

A Measure to bust up Our Hempire—well jest let 'em leave him to 'Aeey.

THE TOTJEIST'S BOOK OF FATE.

If you Dream op It Means

Antwerp . That you will be bored to death by Rubens.

Boulogne . That you will lose a small fortune in tenth-
rate gambling.

Calais . . That you will soon tire of your Continental
trip, and stop prematurely.

Dieppe . . That you will have about as much change
and comfort as at Brighton in November.

Etretat . . That you will be fortunate if you can secure
comfortable lodgings.

Florence . That you will never enter another picture-
gallery for years.

Geneva . . That you will want to go away before you
have fairly arrived.

(The Ideal.) The Merry Swiss Boy. (The Eeal)

Heidelberg . That you can never have been abroad before.

Interlachen That you will hear the opinions of a number
of Mr. Cooe:'s tourists on the Jungfrau.

Jerusalem . That if you have been advised to go there by
your friends, you must be very unpopular.

Karlsbad . That if you intend taking the waters, you
had better insure your life before com-
mencing the operation.

Lucerne . That if you want to ascend either the Righi
or Mont Pilatus, if you are judicious you
will purchase a railway ticket.

Milan . . That you will find little difference between
the Passage Victor Emanuel and the Bur-
lington Arcade.

Naples . . That you had better keep a sharp look out
on the returns of the cholera.

Ouchy . . That you are likely to have a good time of
it at the Hotel Beau Rivage if '' Peram-
bulating Parsons " have let it alone.

Paris . . That you are quite subservient to the wishes
and dress-requirements of your wife.

Quebec . . That you can see what some of the Colonists
have exchanged for the indiscriminating
hospitality of the Mother Country.

(The Ideal.) The Merry S\Yiss Girl. (The Eeal.)

Home . . That you wish to do a good turn to the doc-
tors by choosing such a time for your visit.

Sedan . ■ That you will develope a taste for the collec-
tion of Brummagem relics.

Turin . . That you will want a good rest after doing
Mont Cenis.

Unter den} y<m w^ ^e lure<l to visit a City well
Linden . I w.°i'th seeing by the unearned fame of one
' ) of its smallest attractions.
Vevey . . That you had better stay there than go over

the Simplon into tourist-teeming Italy. );
Wiesbaden . That if you can't get " Trente et Quarante

or "Rouge et Noir" at the Kursaal, you

may yet play at chess. . ... ,

Zurich . . That by the date you get there it will oe

time to think of coming home again.

vol. xci.