Punch (91.1886)

November 6, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 217

THE LETTER-BAG OF TOBY, M.P.

Feom a Baulked Statesman.

Carlton Club, Monday.

then the movements are so sudden. I didn't know till I had
left the platform at Bradford that I was not going to he
pledged to the principle of community of portahle property,
or to that of " the tramways free as air to working men."
That may eome any day.

In the meantime, what is to he done ? Ashmead Baet-
lett proposes that we should take a leaf from history.
"He's worse than Peel at the time of the Corn Laws,"
he says. "You he Lord George Bentinck, and I'll be
Mr. DlSEAELI, and we '11 worry him to death." That sounds
plausible. I think I could answer for the Bentinck: part
of the transaction, but the Diseaeli is not so certain. I
don't know what I shall do, but I feel I cannot long stand
this racket of humiliation. Sometimes I wish I had avoided
politics, and gone into the Church. I would have become
the costume, and I flatter myself my oratorical style would
have taken in the pulpit. These_ are, however, vain regrets,
and I can only threaten opposition on the Closure question.
But, between you and me, Toby, I fear that there also I '11
cave in, and Randolph will have his way.

Yours, despondently, H-ney Ch-pl-n.

eab Tour,

_ TnANKsfor your kind note. The
situation is, as you say, a very
difficult one for me, full of embar-
rassment and disappoinment. Of
course I am, as 1 said at Brad-
ford, a sincere admirer of Ran-
dolph. I cannot, it is true, speak-
ing of him in a political sense, say
that he is "a most respectable
person." But he has many pri-
vate virtues and some public ones.
He is an indefatigable worker.
His public appearances are con-
fined to the platform of the House
of Commons. But I have reason
to believe that he is a regular
contributor to at least two periodi-
cals widely differing in character.
He writes in the Daily News
under the nom de plume of
" Meteoe,", and he is a regular
contributor to Mr. Punch's waste-paper basket.

I am bound to say this from a sense of fairness. "Whatever is to be placed
to his credit, do not let me of all men, hide under a bushel. But I do not
think I have anything to add on that score. Regarded generally, he is a
terrible scourge, and has played the doose with me and other eminent and
respectable members of the Conservative Party. I remember, as it were
but yesterday, when he used to sit below the Gangway with Gorst and
Wolef, and I used to frown upon him, and flout him from the corner bench
behind our respected chiefs. He was not very respectful to me even in those
days, and I well remember how one night he turned upon my Right Honour-
able friend Sir Robebt Fowler, then actually Lord Mayor of London", and,
as it were, rent him to pieces, amid mocking laughter. Fowleb has never
got over that night, and now he is in Japan. Gobst and Wolfe having
done Randolph's bidding, are comfortably provided for. He is at fne top
of the tree, whilst I meekly sit on a platform supporting him with my
Presence and avowing my admiration for his'statesmanlike speech.

This is very bitter, dear Toby, and it is only in the privacy of correspon-
dence with a sympathetic soul like you that I can unburden myself. But
think for a moment of my position. I was a personage in the House of Com-
mons before Randolph's face was known there. I carefully, and I may say
with some success, modelled my style on that of another respected leader of
the Party. _ "When Mr. Diseaeli was removed from the House of Commons,
I felt my time was near at hand. Stafeokd Nobthcote, of course, must
have his turn. But after him there was none on the Front Bench to dispute
vf-+1vJnentaTy Precedence with me. Then, out of nothing, coming from no
whither, springs up this impudent sprite—I mean this patriotic Statesman,
who walks over us all, kicking and trampling, and coolly taking the highest
place at the table.

If one might have free scope for vituperation, the situation would, be
bearable. If I might stand up in the House of Commons, or on the pLtform
at Bradford, and for fifteen minutes frankly discuss Randolph ^CHill,
1 should feel better. But it won't do. "We've tried it befca*: " I took my
part in the attempt to oust him from the Chairmanship of the Caucus. But
he suddenly dined with the Markiss, squared th^ss all round, and left us in
the lurch. He took his fling, not only with persons, but with the Party. A
year ago we were Conservatives. To-dav we are pledged to carry out a more
complete Radical programme than Gladstone ever ventured to prepare ; and

Among Messrs. Wabd and Downey's re-issues are several
of Mr. Faejeon's thrillingly interesting romances. He has
been trying his hand at a Christmas Book for Boys, which
Mr. Punch has given to a youthful critic, whose opinion is
worth having, if judged by the excellent one he has of him-
self. In the meantime, as to the present re-issue, who pos-
sesses these—The Mystery of Great Porter Square, Grif,
and The House of White Shadows, maybe considered a very
Farjeonate person.

BILLIARDS.

Marked by D. Crambo, Junior.

Finishing the Game with a Cannon. One Point Behind.

vol. xci.

V