Punch (93.1887)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 1 [November 12, 1887.

HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Mamma. "It's very late, Emily. Has anybody taken you down to Sewer?"
Fair Debutante (who has a fine healthy appetite}. "Oh yes, Mamma—several People ! "

ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

No, no! A natural alarm, but needless!
'Tia true subversive dolts in these sad
times

Dj call on you to flourish and to feed less,
And hint that pomp and turtle soup are
crimes.

The sour fanatics! [their attics.
Scribblers who'd set the world straight from
But they will never dare—the dastards, Jiu !—
To stop the Lord Mayor's Show.

Your fright, my Lord, 's a pardonable error.
^ The Proclamation can't apply to you.
No one, I 'm sure, can take you for a Terror,
Red, white, or any other tint or hue.

Are you " disorderly" ? [lie;

I*o; you within legality's trim-kept border
From touching you even almighty Law
Would shrink with utter awe.

True you " perambulate the streets." "What
noddy

Objects ? Ton do not " break into a run,"
And as to terrorising " anybody,
iNo one could hint at that, except in fun.
Hooting and yelling "
Are not your vocal habits. Warren's belling
The Cat of Anarchy ; he '11 tell you that.
Xou are not quite that Cat.

Its claws are showing, and they may want
clipping, J
And shindy in the streets is just a pest;

But Law, though lately once or twice found
tripping,

Won't interfere with the calm Civic nest.
Matthews seems heedless,

And "shoves his oar in" in a style most
needless;

But even he would hardly raise his clutch
The sacred Ninth to touch.

No%a good rule may have a good exception.

You're popular, pass on! Rowdies and raff
Need raps. Let him in civism adept, shun
The spouter's bawling, and the Bobby's staff.
Mad mobs in Town
Are a vile nuisance that mu3t be put down ;
Bat you're not a "Procession," don't you
know,—

You are—a " Show " !

" CHARLES OUR FRIEND."

Bravo, Sir Chables Warren ! The
roughs may consider you a Rabid Warren,
but what does that matter to you, or to us, or
to any lover of order, peace, and quietness in
this vast Metropolis ? You 're not a weasel to
be caught napping, and your recent Procla-
mation is admirable, if its provisions be only
justly and exactly carried out. Your arrange-
ments too—talking of provisions—for housing
the houseless, seem to be remarkably judicious.
Mr. Punch trusts that the Processions which
you mention, and " the wandering bands per-
ambulating the streets," which you are going
to consider as disorderly, will be taken to
include those disturbers of our Sunday Quiet,
calling themselves Members of the Salvation
Army, who, it is to be hoped, in every district
wherever their presence is not welcome to a
majority of the respectable residents, will be
summarily dispersed and their noise stopped..

On working days let perambulating bands
come out for air and exercise, only let them
take care that their " air " be always in tune.
That schools and club? should have their
bands is an excellent thing. But there are
six days in the week for noise, and the Sal-
vationists can let us have our Sunday in
peace. Mr. Punch is all for freedom of
speech, and so he speaks out freely. He is
all for the liberty of the subject, but the
subject must remember that he is a subject,
and Mr. Punch takes the liberty to remind
him of it. At the meeting of real working
men of business to protest against these
meetings in Trafalgar Square, Mr. Frederick
Gordon spoke up for his Metropole-itan in-
terests in Grand style. The Home Secre-
tary, it is to be hoped, carefully pondered the
speeches of these practical gentlemen. Mr.
Attenborot/gh, too,—" 0, my prophetic soul,
my uncle I "—gave distinct evidence of the
injury done to trade in and about Trafal-
gar Square. The Rev. Mr. Kino moved a
resolution, and Mr. Biddulph seconded it,

Saying ditto
To Ur. Kitto.

And Mr. Punch once more expresses his hope
that the first Act of next Session will be one
to regulate meetings and processions in and
about London, whereby orderly oitizens may
enjoy their rights undisturbed. Trafalgar
Square and all our great thoroughfares should
be " proclaimed districts," as regards the
loafers, roughs, and rowdies'whose object is
plunder, and whose end is—or, at least, should
be—punishment. ^©NffllS.