Punch (93.1887)

234 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI. [November 19, 1887.

THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.

Her Ladyship. "I'm so glad you are coming to our Concert in the Schoolroom: to-night, Price! Miss Davey, the great
Contralto from London, is coming to help us, you know ! "

Old Servant. "Yes, my Lady, we was a saying in the Servants' 'All as we felt very hanxious about 'er. They don't
appreciate anything really Fust-rate down 'ere. Now you and Miss Hemmar always takes beautiful, my Lady !"

THE SCHOOLMASTER OF THE FUTURE.

Skilled Mechanic of Old School loquitur :—-

It's a nice pretty state of affairs, if you look
at the business all round!

If someone don't alter it somehow, Old Eng-
land must come to the ground.

I've thought it all out a good bit, for it
touches us home, don't you see ;

It puzzles the swells, so, no doubt, it's too
much of a twister for me.

But I look at the thing from a side which
they can't have their eye on,—not
close,—

A fair forty year at the bench ought to give
one the tip, I suppose.

If me and my mates and the masters, the

Book and the Bench, could combine
To take the job fairly in hand, I suppose we

could strike out a line.
Odd luck if we couldn't, at least; but we

don't pull together, you see :
Pull devil pull baker's the game,—it's a mad

one, as most will agree.
The Book and the Bench! There's the nip.

And a fellow will see-if he '11 look-
That although the three R's are good value, a

man cannot live by the Book.

True, Bench without Book may be blindish,
but Book without Bench may be worse

To read penny papers won't feed you, if you
haven't pence in your purse.

Men can't live on cackle not nohow, the
bulk of 'em that is to say;

A few gassy spouts can, of course; for they

prate, don't you see, and we pay;
But that rule will not work all round, thanks

be !—a skilled hand, a sharp eye
Are the artisan's proper rig-out; and as for

the rest of it, why
Mr. Schoolmaster there does his best with his

'ologies, 'isms, and things,
But if a man's lot is to trudge, it is small use

a-fitting him wings.
Eo, I'm not against learning, not me; but

life's battle means gumption and tools,
That is for the general ruck, and the saps

who deny it are fools.
I remembered my father, old Millwright,

in days as no more will be seen,
When a man put his soul in his work, a

mechanic was not a machine.
It would take lots o' "technical" teaching

to bring our lads up to his trim,
Or make our mere chippers and tilers a match

for such workmen as him.
He had been through the mil), a rare grind,

for apprenticeship then meant it's

name.

1 have known him take ten quid a week, only

wish I could earn half the same.
Times altered ? Of course; so have systems,

and not for the better some ways.
I've read, for I can read, you know, of the

wild old apprentices' days,
When the shout of " Clubs! Clubs! " roused

the town, and political feelings ran

high,

And the stiff Spanish courtiers went weak in
the hams at the ominous cry.

Wild blades!—but the youngsters could work,
knew their craft; but yon pale, loose-
limbed lout,

The sort of crammed hobbledehoy that the
School-Board appears to turn out,

Who can spell out Stdition in penn'orths, and
howl it out hot in the Square,

If you give him the " Work" that he yells
for with so much wild blather and blare,

What sort of a fist will he make of it ?
Which of the blustering band

Has a really sound head on his shoulders, a
really skilled craft to his hand ?

And Capital wrangles with Labour, each

hating the other like snakes ;
And the Foreigner creeps in and up, and the

Board Agent comes and he takes
Our boys, and he crams 'em with kibosh as

makes 'em too big for their breeches;
But real true bread-winning knowledge—the

stuff that the Bench only teaches—
They don't find set down in their books, with

their 'isms and 'ometries—no;
But the nipper's turned out in the world, and

then what shall he turn to ?—where go ?
Cheap clerking, or rule-of-thumb drudgery,

bands, and black flags, and that rot ?
They may give it what fine_ names they like,

but it simply means going to pot!
And the swells snarl and sneer, and the

bobbies are bid to be sharp with their

staves,

And the dupes who get all the cracked heads
are informed if they don't they'll be
slaves.