Punch (93.1887)

254

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 3, 1887.

MR. PUNCH'S PARALLELS. No. 4.

SIR W. V. HARCOURT AS FALSTAFF.

'_ There's no moke valour in that Goschsn than in a Wild Duck.". ... "A plague of
all Upwards still sat I ! " Henry the Fourth, Part I., Act ii., Scenes 2 and 4.

. J*"01' at this time of year, takes a great interest in the state of the weather, and studies the

daily Meteorological chronicle. She says that she always reads the reports from Ben Nevis's Obser-
vatory, bhe Hopes that one of these fine days, this learned astronomer will be made a Knight. Sir
Benjamin JNevis would be, she considers, a very nice title. " Of course," she adds, "judging by his
name, he must be a Jew. They 're such clever people. And, let me see, ain't there a proverb, or
something of that sort, about the Jew of Ben Nevis' ? "

BISHOP AND POET.

My Deab Mb. Punch,

In my Autobiography,
which I am glad and proud to say,
has met with your cordial appro-
bation, I have recorded how the
late lamented Bishop, Dr. Sum-
neb, said to me, " I have drunk a
bottle of port wine every day since
I was a boy." "Well, his son, the
Archdeacon, is annoyed at this
statement. Now, my memory is a
very good one, and if I am wrong
in one point so circumstantially
narrated, why not in several, why
not in all ? If the Bishop did not
say this, to me, who did ¥ Some-
body said it, that I will swear.
Who said it? If my memory
fails me, is it not also likely that
the Bishop's memory was not
particularly good, and conse-
quently, that he was mistaken in
thinking that he had drunk a
bottle a day since his boyhood ? I
have little doubt that the Bishop
only imagined it, and perhaps he
was joking. Perhaps he was
playing on the words "bishop"
and "port." "Bishop" was a
hot drink, I fancy, made with
port wine. I have no hesitation
in comforting his Archidiaconal
offspring by assuring him that,
to the best of my knowledge and
belief, his father, the Bishop, did
not drink a bottle of port every
day since his boyhood. He was
a very fine old clergyman—I for-
get whether he was exactly portly
or not, or whether he resided in
Portman Square,—and I should
say that first-rate port, such as
the elixir vitce that made a hale
centenarian of Sir Moses Monte-
fiobe, taken frequently, would
have tended to make him the
genial prelate he was. Had he
only gone into port once, that
would not have sufficed to have
produced such a Bishop, for " One
EiWallowdoesnotmakeaSuMNEE."
Yours ever,
W(ithdbaw) P(obt) Fbith.

P.S.— The Archdeacon is satis-
fied, and if he will only come
round to see me and bring a bottle
of the port the Bishop didn't
drink, why, on my word as an
artist, /'// draw the cork.

" What shall he have who kMs
the Beer f " "Why, something to
eat, of course. At ieast this waS)
among others, the notion of the

Eoor starving Cottars. And they
ave now given up venison-eatiflg
because the food is deer.

Two French Pbesidents
Rolled Into One.—M. GbEvY>
on being told that he must re-
sign, wept copiously. This showed
a want of resignation. Curious
sight, Gbevy and Tears!

Slb Chables "Wabben has
been presented with the freedom
of the Leathersellers' Guua-
Capital motto for Policemen in »
moo, "Nothing, like leather-
Leather away!"