Punch (94.1888)

January 7, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

1

VOCES POPULI.

Scene—Madame TussauoVs.
In the Haxl op Kings.
Several Visitors gazing at the figures, with the air of persons afraid

they are taking a liberty; Enter Habitual Donkey and Donkeyess.

The Habitual Donkey {for the mere sake of saying something).
Here you are, you see!

A Visitor [who knew the figures when they were at Baker Street).
They've arranged them different to what they used to he !

[Is disappointed, without knowing why, exactly.

First Female Ghoul (to Second ditto.). "Whatever they've done, I
do 'ope they've not done away with the " Chamber of 'Orrors." I
wouldn't give anything to see it if that's gone!

Comic Cockney (inspecting group of William the First and
Matilda). Know what they're a saying, Polly?

Folly (giggling by anticipation). No, Jim—what ?

The C. C. Well, he's blowing her up: " Look'ere, Matilda," he
sez, "I'm'anged. if they 'aven't bin and let the Throne-room fire
outagain!" And she sez, "It'sn.o use bullyraggin' me, Billiah,
speak to the Lord 'Igh Chamberlain about it—it's 'is business."

Polly. How you do go on, to be sure! _ "Who are these two ? Oh,
"Richard the Eibst, and Bebbengaeia," (pronounced to rhyme
with " Maria"). "What are they saying ?

The C. C. She's doing all the talking: "Now, do take an
umbrella like a sensible man," she sez, "that nasty battle-axe '11 be
no good at all, if it comes on to rain!"

Folly (with an ecstatic nudge). Oh, you are a silly! (Which is her
highest meed of praise.)

[ They come to Richard the Second and Isabella of Valois.

The C. C. Looks sorry for himself, don't he ? " Well, it's done
now, and we must make the best of it,"—them's their sentiments.

Female of the H. D. (reading from Catalogue). "Married to the
English King when only seven years old,"—pore thing—that's young
to be married! ■

The H. D. (after pondering this observation critically). Yes. She
looks more than that there, though.

In the Gband Saloon.

Crowd (round the seated figure of William Cobbett). Ain't he
natural, too! Rum old cove to look at, eh ? That's a snuff-box
he's 'olding. You '11 see his 'ed go round presently.

[Mr. Cobbett's head turns suddenly with a bland stare. All the
women give a little start, and go off to the sleeping figure of
Madame Ste. Amaranthe.

The H. D. (reading from Catalogue). "Taken from life a few
months before her execution."—A very fortunate escape!

His Female (looking over his shoulder). But it says she died by
the guillotine!

The H. D. So it does. Ah, well—that (desperately) was no doubt
on some other occasion.

Before a group among which Queen Elizabeth, Henry the Seventh,
and Sir Francis Bacon are represented. . . This is a very
dramatic and appropriate tableau, by the way, and, in the absence
of Shakspeare, almost solves the great problem.
A Visitor (referring to Queen Elizabeth's costume). You don't see
dresses like that nowadays.

The H. D. (to his Female). You've read all the fuss they're
making about that Bacon, haven't you?

His Female. No, I didn't see it. (She is the kind of person who
can read any paper allthrough andnever " see" anything. He reads
a newspaper occasionally, and retains a general idea of the contents.)
What fuss ?

The H. D, "Well, I didn't read it very carefully myself, but it
seems that Shakspeaee wrote all Bacon's Cryptograms, and never
got the credit for them.
His Female (indignantly). "What a shame !

[They arrive at a group representing Bright, Cobden, Lord
Brougham, and Daniel O' Connell.
The H. D. (after examining them profoundly). Ah—and they
look it too!

[He has not the faintest notion what he means—nor has she.
They move on pleased with themselves and one another.

The C. C. (halting before an Elderly Gentleman who is sitting
down). He's not arf so well done as the others; wants cleaning up a
bit. They have let him get so shabby. They might stand him a
better 'at. Ugly old beggar too. Does it say who he's meant for ?

TheE. G. (angrily). Go away, Sir. "What do you mean by these
remarks ? You 're no gentleman, Sir! [Rises.

The C. C. (moving off hastily). "Well, if he ain't one of the Jiggers,
he ought to be added, that 's.all.

In Hall No. 3.

The H. D.'s Female. Henneey, come here, quick! (Henneby is
engaged in mistaking Mr. George Odger for John Wyckliffe, but
tears himself away from this fascinating occupation). Hennery, this
(reverentially) is the identical umberella Dr. Kenealy threw down in
the House of Commons.—Why did he throw it down P

The H. D. (with a confused recollection of Burke). Because he
said it was what would be at every Englishman's throat if they
didn't give the Claimant his rights.

His Female (critically). It's not real Alpaca.

The H. D. That doesn't signify. It's the principle of the thing,
he was arguing for.

A Small Child (who has discovered that her remarks cause grown-
up people to smile, and becomes more voluble in consequence). All the
Kings and Queens are only big dollies, and they look half asleep.
Mother, aren't the Kings and Queens big dollies, and don't they look
half asleep ? Big half-asleep dollies, Mother, aren't they ? I want
to see the babies—where are the babies, Mother ? May I see the
babies? "Will they be like Mart's baby? Will Maey's baby be
here ? Why won't Maey's baby be here ? Is Maey's baby a dolly,
Mother ? "Will Mary be here ?

[And so on, until the proud Mother is afraid she will forget half
the clever things Petsy has said.

In the Chambeb op Hoeeoes.

The Ghouls rfo everything thoroughly, deriving especial satisfaction
from the sight of the identical knife employed in a celebrated case,
and a pleasing plan of a skeleton, with all the burnt and
missing bones indicated in shaded ink, after which they retire to
have_ a comfortable tea, and talk over what they have seen. The
Habitual Donkey is surprised to hear afterwards, that he passed
Napoleon's Carriage in the Napoleon Chamber. He had heard
it was there—but forgot to look out for it. The Comic Cockney
got into the vehicle, of course, pulled out all the drawers and
lockers, and made Polly giggle by pretending to be Napoleon.
So we are able to bring down our Curtain upon a scene of
universal contentment.

vol. xciv.