Punch (94.1888)

January 14, 1888.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

23

ALL OVER THE PLACE!" OR, MR. GLADSTONE'S DREAM IN FLORENCE.

" the Consumer," consume Corn, and consequently Connubiality, off j PLATED OUT

the face of the (English) earth, and-"

' Hush, hush, do hush I" interjected the shocked Gentleman
Farmer. "Strange, dailing," he added, musingly, "that there
should he so close a relationship between Husbandry (of one sort),
and Husbandry (of another)! Eancy Mankind being willing to
sacrifice Matrimony to such things as Cheap Food, Statistics, and
Economic Orthodoxy!"

" Womankind never was!" interposed Psyche. "Which shows
how much wiser we women are than you men."

Women," smiled the uxorious Wheateae, "are, after all, our
greatest ' staple,' our most important ' interests,' our most valuable
commodity,' our most inexhaustible ' resources' "-

'' W?Z' Ms wife- '' Hardly ' inexhaustible,

" WhT » queried the mystified Wheateae.
noTto7til£,«»«Ie*£onded Psiche, "because great resources as they
ceriamiy are they are resources which require to be husbanded! "
P«r™V «iV • kughed the enamoured one, exuberantly. " My
1-syche, after all, is the only true Economist! "

The Ameee of Afghanistan-, being mortally afraid of an ultimate
English occupation of his country, has had before him various plans
by which he can make sure of keeping the dreaded invader out.
Among the suggestions submitted to him were :—

1. To import Mr. Michael Davitt, Mr. Dillon, and other eminent
Irish Home-Rulers, and get them to take up their residence at
Cabul. 2. To start a Christmas Day once a month. 3. To start an
Income-Tax-collection once a week. 4. To ask a colony of hurdy-
gurdy players to set up in his dominions. 5. To have a Cabul
Puddle Huddle Gazette. 6. To represent Afghanistan as a second
and rather worse Burmah. And 7, to introduce the Scotch bagpipes
to his people.

Here is a chance for distressed Crofters! What a rush there
will be to Mac Abdulehaman 1

Sweets and Bittees.—Mrs. Ram says she understands the Sugar
Bounties to mean a bolus on the exportation of sugar.