Punch (94.1888)

January 28, 1888.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

47

BALLAD OF BATHYBIUS,

" Bathybius, a name given by Professor Huxley to a gelatinous substance found at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, and at first supposed to be a
formless mass of living protoplasm, but now regarded as an inorganic precipitate."— The Dictionary. " Bathybius, from two Greek words meaning ' the
deep,' and 'the life.' "—Bev. Joseph Cook,

Chorus of Mermaids.

,, . „, Tit i -3 -a. -^k^jBIIl Sulphate of lime he is; that s

A Mebmaid I," she said, with ^ <m^%m^ what he's oalltd.

HuxLEros^view^^ a "^"t^ ^^fe/^fe^ "You need not look for germ of

And^nswer^d/^So you say. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\ I'm^Mtor^riic^dT "6"

^ ;Yet, shoiild vou eoin-t renown.^ - /^""^S^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^B ' I'm'not the thing-with which

And^nd^ouofi'toTown. * ^ P DorftS^SsFM&y-

^ In Earth, or Air, or Sea, ^ ^^^^^^'^^g^^^^^^^^^^^^^m^ Bathybius yourself ! "

'Whatever else it be." ' /^^Mf r-^Mli^M^riM Chorus of Mermaids.

"Observe/' she said, "my tail Cf^lSm 1 Don't tMnk of calling «m Bathy-

Green Wesfand locks°ofblue! " fff>l||tt 'm'^^^^^^^^^B lliillE Bathybius yourself 1

"I do ^observe," he answered, |% t'^E'w \, \ ^^^^^^^^P llit^ "-Bibs^is'Ufe,'and Ja<A«s stands

These objects meet my view. {ill \=- JmjlMwft "^^^^^^^^ kr>i ^ ^°n^h 1 rate

"But yet, without one thousand /^^^^H^^^^^^P r ^^^^^^^^^ AEorib^^now*0 °USht
Science and I must doubt if'you / ^^^^^^mJ^^^^^^^^^^CS^^j^^^^^^^^ Then ceased the low voiced mur

She smiled^ a subtle influence /^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^M^^^fe^^^^^^ And great Hoxleius woke, and

About him fr m the sea. J ISpS?^ For °nCe Was ia the wron£-

"As I'm an F.K..8.," he mur- ' ^ ■/mM^^M^^^^f ^^^W * '~/~^*~\ But whether he'll be wise in days

" She's hypnotising me I ^^^^^^fe^^^K^ <fQ^ ' Or err another time,

" You must remember that I still x~^-/^^r^e'er ^ Ascribing life—'twere better to be

My judgment in suspense, ^Ijlfcj^'^ ^ ^ To inorganic slime,

It was the voice of his Bathybius,

Oat of the gulf of Time—
" I 'm not 'the new Moner,'—you named me
I'm just old Chevy Slyme. [thus-

Subjective visions will appear in vain-
Then clouded grew his sense,

n.

Htjxleius in a pallid light awoke

On a dim cavern's floor,
And on his ear a murmur moaned and
broke,

Like the long Ocean's roar.

" If I submit to being overhauled,

I '11 know the reason why ;
Sulphate of lime I am; that's what I'm

I never told a lie ! " ' [called.

Is just the point on which we have a doubt!

Fled from the Mermaid's chasm,
He seems cocksure and very pleased about

His old friend, Protoplasm.

And yet we cannot Bhare his honest pride.

A doctrine oft miscarries.
His Protoplasm may be ranked beBide

Our old friend, Mrs. Harris.

A WANT AND NO SUPPLY.

Me. Ptjrch, Sir,—Why should not the old days of Evans's Supper
Rooms be revived ? Yes, we know Clubs have increased and multiplied
since the days when Paddy Geeen flourished. Clubs were called and
Clubs have turned up. But Evans's is another matter altogether.

The Theatres are certainly not over earlier than they used to be, and
after the excitement of a drama and the atmosphere of gas, nature
is exhausted and requires what it cannot obtain anywhere really
comfortably, though there is a notable exception to this at Rule's, in
Maiden Lane ; that is, If Rule's can be an exception. Even here if
there be a crush and a rush, the hungriest and thirstiest are not
served first, and if you only arrive at 11'30, on a crowded night, you
find you have become a waiter instead of a customer, and just when
you are beginning to enjoy the long expected whatever-it-is, the
warning stroke of 12 30 tells you "Time's up!" and within a
quarter of an hour " out you go," with a digestion in about as in-
different a slate as was Hamlet's Father's conscience when its owner
was hurried out of this wicked world. _

We mention this exception, if exception it be, as the only one with
which we are personally acquainted. But Evans's was something
more than a mere supper-room, it was the place par excellence for
glee-singing (at an hour when it comes in pleasantly enough, which it
doesn't at dinner-time) part-songs and ballads. It was the place par
excellence for a chop and potatoes in their j ackets, (we were in j acketj
ourselves when we first tasted, these luxuries) a small steak, devilled
bones, grilled chicken and a cool tankard of stout. Only the male

sex were admitted, and in spite of there being no charge for entrance
(we are speaking of "long, long ago, ) the company was orderly and
comparatively select. Why shouldn t some, enterprising caterer
take such a place in hand f And before securing suitable premises
not too large—Evans's came to grief when it was enlarged and ad-
mitted the feminine element,—in the'classic neighbourhood of Covent
Garden let him apply to the Police Authorities to grant the estab-
lishment tentatively for three years, say a licence with extension of
time up to 2 a.m., on condition that only glees, part-songs, and
ballads are performed, that the glees for which hoys' voices are re-
quired shall cease at 11'30, and that to no part of the building (the
innovation commenced with private boxes at Evans's, consule Paddy)
shall any of the female sex be admitted. The seclusion must be as
strict as that of a Monastery. |Twill be like a little Evans's below,
a Paradise without an Eve of dissolution in it.

We present this notion in the rough to London and the Provinces
generally. Country Cousins always formed a Btrong contingent at
Evans's, and its revival concerns the visitors to London equally with
Londoners. There is much to be urged in its favour : and not much
against it. You, Mr. Punch, remembering the jovial round table in
the corner, the cheery, sociable, and harmonious evenings, and see-
ing that a considerable and influential class are dissatisfied with
Music Halls, will, we are sure, give us your vote and interest, if we
can proceed any further in this matter. Let our cry be, "Arouse
ye then, my merry, merry men!" and so we, that is my inseparable
companion and myself, beg to sign ourselves, Your old friends,

The Roost. " Chough akd Ceow " (Limited).