Punch (94.1888)

February is, 1888.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 77

And a life hung over with shadows,
And out of her hounty has made it gay,
As the lowliest cottage is hrave m May
With the cowslip bell and the hawthorn spray,

And all the spoil of the meadows.

And I settle down to the sober light _
When the glory is tidied away for the mght,
And shy sweet odours can take the air-
Too delicate for the noonday glare
And the romping games of the burly bee—

And, marring the calmness greatly,
Hard chafers suddenly seize your hair,
And bats zig-zag like a tailless kite.
And solemn owls with their silent flight
Winnow the dimness that soon will flee

As the red moon rises stately.

LANDING- OF "WILLIAM AT DOVER.

Manners and Customs of ye English as exemplified ly G. 0. M. and the
Itevenue Officer.

" My name it is 'William Ewart Gladstone,
Not baccy, nor brandy, nor Tauehnitz, I own
Not even one bottle of Eau de Cologne."

{Aside to himself.)
Eut just half a bottle, and so 'tis a fact
I havi n't one bottle, I must be exact.

* » * *

He sang on landing, spick and span,
"England expects the G. 0. Man,
This day to * his duty."

\Cheers from everybody, and of by train.

didn't mean to be laughed at. {Dead silence, in which the Speaker
joined.}

The Eclipse of the Moon, who spoke rather hazily, said it was his
privilege to second the proposal. He was not a very regular member,
but from circumstances over which he had no control he had lately
come a good deal before the public. The European Situation rather
resembled his own; it was cloudy—[laughter)—but the clouds had
not prevented his going on eclipsing, and he was sure that no clouds
however threatening, would prevent the European Situation, from
continuing to situate in a good old European way. (Loud cheers.)

The Weather and the Parks rose together, and as neither showed
any determination to give way, they spoke in unison. They begged
the indulgence of their friends, for taking a prominent part, but the
fact was that they (the Weather and the Parks) represented a large
number of kindred subjects—Primroses in Devonshire, Whirlwinds
at Elburn, Blizzards, and a Remarkable Atmospheric Phenomenon
—and had been deputed to support the resolution.

A Bird did not want to interrupt the harmony of the meeting, but
he had made a nest in a Cat's cradle, and he thought if they wanted
a situation that ought rather to suit them. It wasn't exactly
European, but it was precarious.

At this period some disturbance was caused by the appearance of
the Irish Question, accompanied by Mr. O'Brien's-es.

Mr. O'Bstjen's-es protested against this toadying to a mere

European Situation. They (Mr. O'Bbjen's -es) didn't care a

button for the Situation. (Cries of'' Question!'' during which the Irish
Question put its thumb to its nose, and extended its fingers towards
Messrs. Shacon and Bakespeare, who hadn't the slightest idea what
the disturbance was about!) On the Chair-Serpent endeavouring to

restore order, Mr. O'Bbjen's -es called out, "What's that

anny way ? Did ever ye hear of St. Pathrick now ? {Loud cries of
" Order!")

The Sea Serpent said he was in a very painful position, as snakes
were not accustomed to chairs in private life. He was reluctantly
compelled to name Mr. O'Bbxen's unmentionables, if they would
excuse the paradox. They were not on in this scene at all, and had
not a leg to stand upon.

The Speed of the Race Horse, and the Habits of Ants concurred,
and the intruders were bundled out.

The Gigantic Gooseberry, who was very warmly received, said it
was all very well to talk about the Silly Season, but for his part he
considered one paragraph about the wonders of nature, even if they
were purely imaginary (he meant no disrespect to the Chair), more
interesting than a column of speeches about what the speaker didn't
understand, addressed to listeners who didn't want to hear.
(Applause.) He supported the motion.

The vote of thanks was carried unanimously, and briefly acknow-
ledged by The Situation in a few well-chosen phrases, and the
company disappeared into oblivion for the Parliamentary Session—
except the guest of the evening, who is understood to be preparing
a surprise for the Special Correspondents.

TESTIMONIAL TO THE SITUATION.

On the opening of Parliament (when the last Term of the Silly
Season expires) a crowded Meeting was held to express the thanks
of the Silly Season Subjects for the very efficient aid rendered to
them during their session by the European Situation.

The Chair was taken by the Sea Serpent, who was supported by
the Gigantic Gooseberry, and several members of the great Vegetable
Family, Messrs. Mumpsimus and Sumpsimus, the Weather and the
Parks, Dr. Odium Medicum, Shacon and Bakespeare, who looked
very much worn out, and a number of well-known habitues of the
Silly Season.

The Chair-Serpent said he was very glad to see so large and so
thoroughly representative a gathering of his fellow subjects. They
had this season been relieved of a certain amount of hard and thank-
less work by the noble endurance, the unexampled staying power, of
his honoured friend, he was proud to call him a friend (he hoped he
might call him friend), the European Situation. He was perhaps
the doyen of the herd, but he saw around him to-night many who
had served the Press and the Public well for more years than he cared
to remember, and they were all treated like snakes, a thing that you
first make use of and then kick. This was not theltreatment they
deserved. They were all fathers of families. They were all fill-up
pars, at any rate. (Laughter.) He begged, to move a vote of thanks
to the Situation—a Situation which it was not too much to say, above
all other situations, was the situation—he said, this Situation—well,
he might not be much of a speaker, but he hadn't dined yet, and he

ONE DEGREE BETTER.

" The honorary degree of Mus. Doc. is to be conferred
on Herr Joachim by decree of Convocation on Tues-
day."—Times.

Some difficulty was experienced in fitting the
cap on the Herr. Afterwards, instead of simply
" Doctor of Music," on the famous violinist ought
to have been conferred the degree of

Her Majes-
ty'e Omnibus.
—Mr. Michael
Davttt, in one
of his recent ha-
rangues,declared
that by having
"carried the
doctrines of So-
cialism into the
heart of Britain,"
in retaliation of
wrongs — " Ire-
land has put her-
self in the van of
the glorious
struggle." Quite
so, —the Police
Tan.

FIDDLE D.D."

Mes. Rams-
botham says she
never goes to
Church on Ash
Wednesday, as
she objects to the
Combination
Service.

MOONLIGHI-
ebs AND B0T-

cottebs. — The
Erinyes of Erin.