DOI issue:
July 5, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0011
Jul? b, 18&G.j PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
GREECE IN WANT OF THE GALLOWS.
iTHthe last Mail we have
accounts from Athens,
that Highwaymen—in
so far as there are high-
ways — are becoming
very numerous and
troublesome in the
ridiculous kingdom of
Greece. According to
the report of two pri-
soners, whom some of
these rascals had cap-
tured, and released on
the payment of rpm-
som :—
"The brigands had ex-
pressed lo theru much dis-
appointment because hi-
therto they had not suc-
ceeded in capturing any
English or French officers."
It is almost desirable
that the disappoint-
ment of these scoun-
drels should cease, and
that they should have
their wish — that of
perquisites.
When a ridiculous fashion has done dutv in
the drawing-room, it descends to the kitchen.
Servants think they have a right to assume the
capturing some Enjr- cast.otf hablts of their masters.
lish and hrench om- _
cers, and this, indeed,
would be quite desi-
rable, but for the cer-
tainty that the mis-
creants would inflict the most atrocious outrages upon any who shouM be so unfortunate as
to fall into their hands. The capture of one English and one French officer would, no doubt,
induce a combination of French and English energy that would eventuate in leaving not one ; Flirtation.—A poetical young Midshipman,
villain of them unhanged, except those who might have the better luck to be bayoneted or i being called upon to describe Flirtation, corn-
shot dosvn. In catching a French officer or an English, whether the officer were a Crimean pared it to " hugging the shore of the United
hero or not, these blackguards would very soon find that they had caught a Tartar. i States."
A CARD FOR AMERICAN COURTIERS.
Messrs. Noses and Son have much pleasure
in informing gents, and others connected with
the American legation, that an outfit for attend-
ance at the Court of Queen Vicioria may now
be had for twenty-five shillings. The suit con-
sists of a good stout shooting-coat, with pockets
for the hands to avoid the expense of gloves, a
pair of coarse "pants," and highlows warranted
to trample upon all the forms of decency. Wrap-
rascals for Birthday Drawing-rooms made to
measure on the lowest terms, and every thing
calculated to insult the British Court to be had
as low as any house in Hounsditch.
An Apology for the Police.
If a Policeman trips or falls, bends or relaxes
in his duty occasionally, every indulgence should
be made for him. You put a man on his legs for
nine consecutive hours, and expect him to be
upright every minute of the time!
courtly homage.
Flattery is only " Soft Soap," and your
true Courtier uses none but the very "Best
Windsor."—The Bishop of Oxbridge.
LOGIC IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS.
Is it possible to conceive any human creature, except an uncommonly
irrational woman, holding such an argument as the following, ascribed,
in a parliamentary report of the Lords' debate on the Jew Bill, to Earl
Stanhope ?
" It was also held that a man who had not an income of £300 a-year was disqualified
from sitting in the House of Commons. Why, then, should there not be disqualifi-
cation on religious grounds'? "
PARADISE, OR PURGATORY ?
Being particularly desirous to know what kind of a musical dish the
Philharmonic Society had set before the Queen and the subscribers at
the concluding concert, Mr. Punch, on the following morning, sent for
the two journals in which the two ablest musical critics of the day keep
watch and ward. The great and important novelty of the night was
a composition, called Paradise and the Peri, by Dr. Schumann, and
Mr. Punch's mind was thus set at rest, and his curiosity satisfactorily
met.
A writer of some reputation for sagacity advises us to answer. and| the daily news says— the times says
also not to answer, a fool according to his folly. In the exercise of the
discretion allowed by this counsel, we will venture to repiy to the
question of the blockhead whose words we presume to have been put
into the mouth of Earl Stanhofe.
As a man is disqualified from sitting in the House of Commons on
the ground of his not having an income of £300 a-year, why, then,
should there not be disqualification from sitting there on religious
grounds? Simply because the want of £300 a-year, or thereabouts, is
a pretty good reason why a man should be excluded from the House of
Commons, and his religious opinions are a very bad reason. Unless
he has an income of his own, he must depend upon other people for a
subsistence, aud it is highly probable that those other people who keep
him will, on many questions of practical importance, influence his vote
to the public detriment. But it is highly improbable that his religious
opinions will exert the least influence, detrimental to the public, on his
vote, upon any question of practical importance. All the mischief that
religious opinions can do m the House of Commons is already done by
those of the Roman Catholic members, whose politics are subservient
to their Popery. That mischief is not much, or the Emancipation Act
would very soon get repealed. To ask why, if a man is excluded from
the House of Commons for not having £300 a-year, he should not also
be excluded on religious grounds, is like asking why, because poverty
disqualifies from membership of Parliament, red hair should not con-
stitute the same disqualification ?
We hope the above explanatory remarks will meet the eye of the
foolish peer whom the reporter mistook for Earl Stanhofe, and will
prove in some degree intelligible to that noble simpleton; at the same
time we feel that an apology is due to the youngest of our junior
readers, indeed to our mere spellers, for insulting their understanding
by the refutation of nonsense too imbecile to be worthy the title of
sophistry.
From the impression on ourselves, as " We have only to add that Paradise
well as the evident effect on a highly and the Peri, as a musical composition, is
critical audience, we believe Paradise and destitute of invention, and wanting in
the Peri to be a work of great genius and intelligible form. In short, anything so
power, of which the beauties will develope hopelessly dreary, so wholly made up of
themselves more and more as it is oftener shreds and patches, so ill-defined, so gene-
heard and better understood. rally uninteresting, we have rarely heard.''
And the question being thus decided, and the foolish idea of the
heterodox, who think that there is no such thing as an absolute fact in
musical art, being thus overthrown, Mr. Punch is happy to place on
imperishable record the opinions of his brother critics with whom, lie
begs to add, that he cordially agrees, without having heard the compo-
sition they describe.
Pretty Little Platitudes.
He who can compose his own mind is evidently superior to the com-
poser of such an opera as La Traviata.—The Alderman who conquers
his appetite is immeasurably above a conqueror like General
Walker. Britannia, who rules the waves, is not to be admired half
so much as the Woman who rules her temper !
Five Grains of Truth.
Thkbe never was a Frenchwoman yet, who had thoroughly persuaded herself that
she was ugly.
The man who is without an idea has generally the greatest idea of himself.
Life is a journey, and it is generally our own fault if we do not make a Pleasure-
Excursion of it.
The Soul is a prisoner that always kills its gaoler when it makes its escape.
a Pair of Stays is the Strait-Waistcoat that Fashion puts on, in every case ot mad-
ness, whenever a young lady is going into a violent fit.
GREECE IN WANT OF THE GALLOWS.
iTHthe last Mail we have
accounts from Athens,
that Highwaymen—in
so far as there are high-
ways — are becoming
very numerous and
troublesome in the
ridiculous kingdom of
Greece. According to
the report of two pri-
soners, whom some of
these rascals had cap-
tured, and released on
the payment of rpm-
som :—
"The brigands had ex-
pressed lo theru much dis-
appointment because hi-
therto they had not suc-
ceeded in capturing any
English or French officers."
It is almost desirable
that the disappoint-
ment of these scoun-
drels should cease, and
that they should have
their wish — that of
perquisites.
When a ridiculous fashion has done dutv in
the drawing-room, it descends to the kitchen.
Servants think they have a right to assume the
capturing some Enjr- cast.otf hablts of their masters.
lish and hrench om- _
cers, and this, indeed,
would be quite desi-
rable, but for the cer-
tainty that the mis-
creants would inflict the most atrocious outrages upon any who shouM be so unfortunate as
to fall into their hands. The capture of one English and one French officer would, no doubt,
induce a combination of French and English energy that would eventuate in leaving not one ; Flirtation.—A poetical young Midshipman,
villain of them unhanged, except those who might have the better luck to be bayoneted or i being called upon to describe Flirtation, corn-
shot dosvn. In catching a French officer or an English, whether the officer were a Crimean pared it to " hugging the shore of the United
hero or not, these blackguards would very soon find that they had caught a Tartar. i States."
A CARD FOR AMERICAN COURTIERS.
Messrs. Noses and Son have much pleasure
in informing gents, and others connected with
the American legation, that an outfit for attend-
ance at the Court of Queen Vicioria may now
be had for twenty-five shillings. The suit con-
sists of a good stout shooting-coat, with pockets
for the hands to avoid the expense of gloves, a
pair of coarse "pants," and highlows warranted
to trample upon all the forms of decency. Wrap-
rascals for Birthday Drawing-rooms made to
measure on the lowest terms, and every thing
calculated to insult the British Court to be had
as low as any house in Hounsditch.
An Apology for the Police.
If a Policeman trips or falls, bends or relaxes
in his duty occasionally, every indulgence should
be made for him. You put a man on his legs for
nine consecutive hours, and expect him to be
upright every minute of the time!
courtly homage.
Flattery is only " Soft Soap," and your
true Courtier uses none but the very "Best
Windsor."—The Bishop of Oxbridge.
LOGIC IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS.
Is it possible to conceive any human creature, except an uncommonly
irrational woman, holding such an argument as the following, ascribed,
in a parliamentary report of the Lords' debate on the Jew Bill, to Earl
Stanhope ?
" It was also held that a man who had not an income of £300 a-year was disqualified
from sitting in the House of Commons. Why, then, should there not be disqualifi-
cation on religious grounds'? "
PARADISE, OR PURGATORY ?
Being particularly desirous to know what kind of a musical dish the
Philharmonic Society had set before the Queen and the subscribers at
the concluding concert, Mr. Punch, on the following morning, sent for
the two journals in which the two ablest musical critics of the day keep
watch and ward. The great and important novelty of the night was
a composition, called Paradise and the Peri, by Dr. Schumann, and
Mr. Punch's mind was thus set at rest, and his curiosity satisfactorily
met.
A writer of some reputation for sagacity advises us to answer. and| the daily news says— the times says
also not to answer, a fool according to his folly. In the exercise of the
discretion allowed by this counsel, we will venture to repiy to the
question of the blockhead whose words we presume to have been put
into the mouth of Earl Stanhofe.
As a man is disqualified from sitting in the House of Commons on
the ground of his not having an income of £300 a-year, why, then,
should there not be disqualification from sitting there on religious
grounds? Simply because the want of £300 a-year, or thereabouts, is
a pretty good reason why a man should be excluded from the House of
Commons, and his religious opinions are a very bad reason. Unless
he has an income of his own, he must depend upon other people for a
subsistence, aud it is highly probable that those other people who keep
him will, on many questions of practical importance, influence his vote
to the public detriment. But it is highly improbable that his religious
opinions will exert the least influence, detrimental to the public, on his
vote, upon any question of practical importance. All the mischief that
religious opinions can do m the House of Commons is already done by
those of the Roman Catholic members, whose politics are subservient
to their Popery. That mischief is not much, or the Emancipation Act
would very soon get repealed. To ask why, if a man is excluded from
the House of Commons for not having £300 a-year, he should not also
be excluded on religious grounds, is like asking why, because poverty
disqualifies from membership of Parliament, red hair should not con-
stitute the same disqualification ?
We hope the above explanatory remarks will meet the eye of the
foolish peer whom the reporter mistook for Earl Stanhofe, and will
prove in some degree intelligible to that noble simpleton; at the same
time we feel that an apology is due to the youngest of our junior
readers, indeed to our mere spellers, for insulting their understanding
by the refutation of nonsense too imbecile to be worthy the title of
sophistry.
From the impression on ourselves, as " We have only to add that Paradise
well as the evident effect on a highly and the Peri, as a musical composition, is
critical audience, we believe Paradise and destitute of invention, and wanting in
the Peri to be a work of great genius and intelligible form. In short, anything so
power, of which the beauties will develope hopelessly dreary, so wholly made up of
themselves more and more as it is oftener shreds and patches, so ill-defined, so gene-
heard and better understood. rally uninteresting, we have rarely heard.''
And the question being thus decided, and the foolish idea of the
heterodox, who think that there is no such thing as an absolute fact in
musical art, being thus overthrown, Mr. Punch is happy to place on
imperishable record the opinions of his brother critics with whom, lie
begs to add, that he cordially agrees, without having heard the compo-
sition they describe.
Pretty Little Platitudes.
He who can compose his own mind is evidently superior to the com-
poser of such an opera as La Traviata.—The Alderman who conquers
his appetite is immeasurably above a conqueror like General
Walker. Britannia, who rules the waves, is not to be admired half
so much as the Woman who rules her temper !
Five Grains of Truth.
Thkbe never was a Frenchwoman yet, who had thoroughly persuaded herself that
she was ugly.
The man who is without an idea has generally the greatest idea of himself.
Life is a journey, and it is generally our own fault if we do not make a Pleasure-
Excursion of it.
The Soul is a prisoner that always kills its gaoler when it makes its escape.
a Pair of Stays is the Strait-Waistcoat that Fashion puts on, in every case ot mad-
ness, whenever a young lady is going into a violent fit.