DOI Heft:
July 12, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0020
12
PUNCH, OR TlfE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 12, 1856.
PORTER'S PROGRESS OF THE NATIONS'
HE cioor of the
House of Commons
ought to be a very
valuable one, con-
sidering what it
costs to keep up
" Message " carried, and pays himself his own salary iuto
the bargain. But, we are a great country ! We pay door-
keepers of the Houses of Parliament more liberally than
the great authors whom the world has admitted into the
Temple of Fame, and, to messengers who run with the
private notes of members, we give greater salaries than
any pension we should award to an astronomer who had
been surveying all his life the paths of Heaven.
Altogether, we think we can fairly congratulate our
„„„ ' . ' Thp readers upon the very bright prospects of " Pouter's
every year, xut, -p„nnll,„0 »/i. w, • „
following sums are
w hat Johk Bull
pays annually to
guard the entrance
of the Legisla-
ture :—■
The First Doorkeeper
Progress of the Nation"
BLOOD AT THE SEA-SIDE.
We take the subjoined very promising advertisement
from theTimes:—
establishment.
HEALTH OF THE DRAMA,
receives . . £300 j OEA-SIDE.—Board and Residence.—A gentleman and his
The Second Doorkeeper j O wife nearly allied to a titled family, REQUIRE the SOCIETY of one
receives . . "50 j or ^w0 LADIES wishing for pure air and sea-hathing. The distance a
! few hours from town. References given, and terms liberal. State real
The reader Will \ name by, letter to-, care of-.
confess that £550 _
every twelvemonth At first blush this seems to be a very advantageous offer
is a' " swingeing " {t° any two ladies of eternal friendship desirous of purity
price for & door! of air and saltness of water. Nevertheless, gentlewomen
The company within cannot be too cautious. " Nearly allied to a titled family."
ou»ht to be* a little This so mds well; and yet, in what degres of consanguinity ?
mo°re select, when i if<'s plain that there is nothing sordid in the advertisement,
the doorkeepers re- The gentleman and his wife, are too near nobility to think
ceive such enormous of housing and boarding lodgers. Thry simply "Require
salaries to protect J the Society of one or two Ladies." Srill, were we " two
it. Yet, if they did ladies," we should like to know the exact degree of rela-
their work tffici-:1 ionship between our nominal landlord and landlady and the
ently, no one would ! House of Lords. Again, it would surely answer the
begrudge them their advertisers' views—allowing that, at the last moment,
large pav. If they pent back every unworthy member; if they'allowed only the tr»ey could be induced to take payment for board and lodging
pure, the good, the honest, or the clever to enter, we should be the first to suggest —did they speedy their exact.heraldry. However, people
ihat, far from being overpaid, they were shamefully underpaid in proportion to (he j who are taken by such an advertisement, full soon know
vast amount of benefit they rendered to the community. Bat, with their duties | n0.^L1niuca fuch advertisers quarter on the spoons of the
'bus rigorously carried out, there would soon be little or nothing for them to do.
The office would, very quickly, become extinct. St. Stephens' would present
the curious ppec'acle every night of "No House," and two doorkeepers to guard
the door of it,!
And whv two doorkeepers ? Is the door such a heavy cumbrous affair, so
very difficult to push aside, that it takes two men to throw it open? And yet,\ Dubisg the last week, the Drama has not been laid up
when we look at the number of small, weak men who have got into the House,! with any fre?h complaint. Its morality has fortunately
this cannot be. Perhaps one door-keeper attends specially to the Whigs and the S been spared another attack. We are glad to state that
other touches his hat only to the Tories. Or, it n ay be that the majoritv evei7 play-bill has presented, as compared with previous
claims the undivided attention of Janitor No. 1, whilst Janitor No. 2 Ohe one , weeks, a clean bill of health. There has not been a single
with the smaller salary) keeps a watchful eve over the less important movements ' ca9e of consumption—not even of galloping consumption
of the minority. Or, more likelv still, one goes to sleep whilst the other watches, j at- Astleys. It is also our pleasant duty to record, that
and thus they relieve each other in turns. toe crime of poisoning has tor a time ceased, which must
But the amount of Porter's work does not end here. On looking at the " Civil | r,e looked upon as a most favourable symptom. There has
Setvice Estimates" (that tremendous Blue Pill which John Bull is obliged to' on,y been one flight attack o' Malaria at the Royal Italian
swallow every year) we find the following cheerful items :— i Opera, but nothing has resulted from it. The Press, having
1 seen that the drama, which presented some very ugly
MessenMrreneers' at £3°° each^so ' fea"ires> was properly ventilated in time, may be thanked
Two* Messengers at £no ' 340 | for preventing the evil spreading any further. _ The other
Messenger...........160 j side of the water is equally healthy. At the Victoria as at
Messenger...........140 t,he Surrey, no" a single victim to measles, nor hooping-
Messenger......... 130 , •* -., d xl • .a • . u
Messenger...........no i cough, nor small-pox, nor even the influenza, is on the
... i play-books. Altogether, as far as the health of the Drama
You would imagine that was sufficient—but pray have a lit»le patience, is concerned, there has been during the last few days a
rhere is another charming little item (a " little one thrown in ") of j welcome change for the better, and we hope the improve-
Temporary Messengers . . ......£500 nient will gradually continue until there is no longer any
v_„ 4. -t u r n r. i -i. i t • necessity for the drama to encroach again on the province
lou would suppose that it could go no further but it only shows now mcon- 0f the hospital
siderate some people are. You would not send out a messenger, and not pay " ' -■
hi* expenses? Shabbiness like that could not be tolerated in an establishment
where the doorkeeper receives just one-fourth of the sum granted every year to T&e Character we English have Abroad,
destitute men of genius. Consequently, there is an additional item, and it could «i, *. -tu +u k„7;„U/,« nn
not be more reasonable, considering exercise generally engenders in messengers an D™ T # Wlth / 6 ^^u^TJ?
mordinate thirst 'or beer 8 your travels, Count ?" inquired a young lady of a cele-
brated French traveller. " Pardon, Miss (was the Couut's
Messengers* journeys . . . . . £20o | reply), it is true I meet every year a large number of your
You think this is, at last, the finish, but it is only another proof of vour parsi- compatriotes, who travel as the English only can travel, but
mony aud intolerance. Messengers do not carry letters. They are only the it never was my pleasure to meet what you call i^iw
bearers of messages. The distinction is a very large one in a country where there Englishman. Mais en revanche, Miss 1 can te 1 you 1
is a Post-Office. But as St. Martin's-le-Grand is not large enough to transmit i !iave h%?n fortunate enough to meet more than one
the business of Parliament, we are furnished with another elegant item in the 1 tlm8~The Raving Englishman!
shape of—
Porters for carrying out Letters for the several departments . £500
Thus, for doorkeepers, messengers, and porters, we have the pleasure of paying
annually no less a sum total than £3,710 ! We "guess" that, for a considerably
senseless prejudice.
In rejecting the Oaths of Abjuration Bill, the House of
smaller figure than that, the President of the Uni'ed States gets his little! Lords ha3 at least shown a 2-reat want of Commons'Sense.
PUNCH, OR TlfE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[July 12, 1856.
PORTER'S PROGRESS OF THE NATIONS'
HE cioor of the
House of Commons
ought to be a very
valuable one, con-
sidering what it
costs to keep up
" Message " carried, and pays himself his own salary iuto
the bargain. But, we are a great country ! We pay door-
keepers of the Houses of Parliament more liberally than
the great authors whom the world has admitted into the
Temple of Fame, and, to messengers who run with the
private notes of members, we give greater salaries than
any pension we should award to an astronomer who had
been surveying all his life the paths of Heaven.
Altogether, we think we can fairly congratulate our
„„„ ' . ' Thp readers upon the very bright prospects of " Pouter's
every year, xut, -p„nnll,„0 »/i. w, • „
following sums are
w hat Johk Bull
pays annually to
guard the entrance
of the Legisla-
ture :—■
The First Doorkeeper
Progress of the Nation"
BLOOD AT THE SEA-SIDE.
We take the subjoined very promising advertisement
from theTimes:—
establishment.
HEALTH OF THE DRAMA,
receives . . £300 j OEA-SIDE.—Board and Residence.—A gentleman and his
The Second Doorkeeper j O wife nearly allied to a titled family, REQUIRE the SOCIETY of one
receives . . "50 j or ^w0 LADIES wishing for pure air and sea-hathing. The distance a
! few hours from town. References given, and terms liberal. State real
The reader Will \ name by, letter to-, care of-.
confess that £550 _
every twelvemonth At first blush this seems to be a very advantageous offer
is a' " swingeing " {t° any two ladies of eternal friendship desirous of purity
price for & door! of air and saltness of water. Nevertheless, gentlewomen
The company within cannot be too cautious. " Nearly allied to a titled family."
ou»ht to be* a little This so mds well; and yet, in what degres of consanguinity ?
mo°re select, when i if<'s plain that there is nothing sordid in the advertisement,
the doorkeepers re- The gentleman and his wife, are too near nobility to think
ceive such enormous of housing and boarding lodgers. Thry simply "Require
salaries to protect J the Society of one or two Ladies." Srill, were we " two
it. Yet, if they did ladies," we should like to know the exact degree of rela-
their work tffici-:1 ionship between our nominal landlord and landlady and the
ently, no one would ! House of Lords. Again, it would surely answer the
begrudge them their advertisers' views—allowing that, at the last moment,
large pav. If they pent back every unworthy member; if they'allowed only the tr»ey could be induced to take payment for board and lodging
pure, the good, the honest, or the clever to enter, we should be the first to suggest —did they speedy their exact.heraldry. However, people
ihat, far from being overpaid, they were shamefully underpaid in proportion to (he j who are taken by such an advertisement, full soon know
vast amount of benefit they rendered to the community. Bat, with their duties | n0.^L1niuca fuch advertisers quarter on the spoons of the
'bus rigorously carried out, there would soon be little or nothing for them to do.
The office would, very quickly, become extinct. St. Stephens' would present
the curious ppec'acle every night of "No House," and two doorkeepers to guard
the door of it,!
And whv two doorkeepers ? Is the door such a heavy cumbrous affair, so
very difficult to push aside, that it takes two men to throw it open? And yet,\ Dubisg the last week, the Drama has not been laid up
when we look at the number of small, weak men who have got into the House,! with any fre?h complaint. Its morality has fortunately
this cannot be. Perhaps one door-keeper attends specially to the Whigs and the S been spared another attack. We are glad to state that
other touches his hat only to the Tories. Or, it n ay be that the majoritv evei7 play-bill has presented, as compared with previous
claims the undivided attention of Janitor No. 1, whilst Janitor No. 2 Ohe one , weeks, a clean bill of health. There has not been a single
with the smaller salary) keeps a watchful eve over the less important movements ' ca9e of consumption—not even of galloping consumption
of the minority. Or, more likelv still, one goes to sleep whilst the other watches, j at- Astleys. It is also our pleasant duty to record, that
and thus they relieve each other in turns. toe crime of poisoning has tor a time ceased, which must
But the amount of Porter's work does not end here. On looking at the " Civil | r,e looked upon as a most favourable symptom. There has
Setvice Estimates" (that tremendous Blue Pill which John Bull is obliged to' on,y been one flight attack o' Malaria at the Royal Italian
swallow every year) we find the following cheerful items :— i Opera, but nothing has resulted from it. The Press, having
1 seen that the drama, which presented some very ugly
MessenMrreneers' at £3°° each^so ' fea"ires> was properly ventilated in time, may be thanked
Two* Messengers at £no ' 340 | for preventing the evil spreading any further. _ The other
Messenger...........160 j side of the water is equally healthy. At the Victoria as at
Messenger...........140 t,he Surrey, no" a single victim to measles, nor hooping-
Messenger......... 130 , •* -., d xl • .a • . u
Messenger...........no i cough, nor small-pox, nor even the influenza, is on the
... i play-books. Altogether, as far as the health of the Drama
You would imagine that was sufficient—but pray have a lit»le patience, is concerned, there has been during the last few days a
rhere is another charming little item (a " little one thrown in ") of j welcome change for the better, and we hope the improve-
Temporary Messengers . . ......£500 nient will gradually continue until there is no longer any
v_„ 4. -t u r n r. i -i. i t • necessity for the drama to encroach again on the province
lou would suppose that it could go no further but it only shows now mcon- 0f the hospital
siderate some people are. You would not send out a messenger, and not pay " ' -■
hi* expenses? Shabbiness like that could not be tolerated in an establishment
where the doorkeeper receives just one-fourth of the sum granted every year to T&e Character we English have Abroad,
destitute men of genius. Consequently, there is an additional item, and it could «i, *. -tu +u k„7;„U/,« nn
not be more reasonable, considering exercise generally engenders in messengers an D™ T # Wlth / 6 ^^u^TJ?
mordinate thirst 'or beer 8 your travels, Count ?" inquired a young lady of a cele-
brated French traveller. " Pardon, Miss (was the Couut's
Messengers* journeys . . . . . £20o | reply), it is true I meet every year a large number of your
You think this is, at last, the finish, but it is only another proof of vour parsi- compatriotes, who travel as the English only can travel, but
mony aud intolerance. Messengers do not carry letters. They are only the it never was my pleasure to meet what you call i^iw
bearers of messages. The distinction is a very large one in a country where there Englishman. Mais en revanche, Miss 1 can te 1 you 1
is a Post-Office. But as St. Martin's-le-Grand is not large enough to transmit i !iave h%?n fortunate enough to meet more than one
the business of Parliament, we are furnished with another elegant item in the 1 tlm8~The Raving Englishman!
shape of—
Porters for carrying out Letters for the several departments . £500
Thus, for doorkeepers, messengers, and porters, we have the pleasure of paying
annually no less a sum total than £3,710 ! We "guess" that, for a considerably
senseless prejudice.
In rejecting the Oaths of Abjuration Bill, the House of
smaller figure than that, the President of the Uni'ed States gets his little! Lords ha3 at least shown a 2-reat want of Commons'Sense.