DOI issue:
July 12, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0028
20
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[JuLf 12, 1856.
THE QUADRILLE IN HOT WEATHER.
Stout Party (who suffers much from heat, and has in vain attempted to concecd himself).
" Oe, I BELIEVE WE ARE ENGAGED FOR THIS DANCE. I *VE BEEN—THAT is—I *ve
—EH ?—I 'VE BEEN LOOKING j?OR YOU—A —A — EVERYWHERE—PliEW ! "
TJNEA.SY TRAVELLING MADE EASY.
A Drawing-room at St. James's is very like a railway:
—a lady may know when the Train that she travels with
starts, but she never can tell at what hour it will reach its
destination—much _ less what accidents the train may
encounter on the journey, or whether, indeed, it will ever
arrive safe at all. It would not he a bad plan to start an
"Insurance Company for all Drawing-room Trains."
It might easily be d«me with a capital of £1,000,000, under
the "Limited Liability Act." Tickets, previous to starting,
should be issued to ladies at a low rate— say five guineas
a-head, which is not much, considering there are frequently
ostrich feathers and jewellery in each head. These tickets
should guarantee the countesses and duchesses against all
loss or injury that their dresses might sustain during the
perilous journey. Gentlemen might also be taken in,
receiving compensation for any trifling damage that was
inflicted on their silk stockings, cocked hats, or shirt-frills.
Such an ''Insurance Company" would be a great boon to
the public (as prospectuses invariably say), filling up a
vacuum in many an injured pocket, besides relieving the
minds of innumerable dowagers and chaperons, who a1"
present start on the trip with the greatest nervou-ness and
tear of the consequences. We have heard an aged mar-
chioness say, "that she would sooner at any time cross
the Channel twice than make the pass of St. James's Palace
once
Look cut, Mr. Crampion!
Mr. Peacocke would tell Lord Palmerston that, " if
he contemplated any scheme of reward for Mr. Ckampton,
the attention of the House of Commons woud be fixed upon
him." By this, let Mr. Ckampton understated (and, sleep-
ing or wakiug, never forget the fact,) that, should Lord
Palmerston attempt to mak« him even governor of
Heligoland, or Lot d-lieutenant of Herne Bay, Mr. Pea-
cocke will a tale unfold, and stiaightway bring down more
than a Peacocke's eyes upon him!
A Public-House Question.—Of the 111,309 persons
who signed petitions against Sunday music, how many
of them dipped their pens, really not in ink-stands, rut in
beer-pots and spirit noggins ?
"LET'S HAVE NT0 WORDS."
Mr. Wilkinson put no doubt a very sensible notice on the paper
when he proposed that except upon the introduction of a measure to
the House, no member do s^eak for more than half an hour at one time
upon the same question, nor upon any occasion for more than one Hour!
It would indeed be a great thing to cut down the garrulity of the
Commons, and to stop the mouths of members by effectually causing
them to shut up at a reasonable hour, but we are afraid that this early
closing movement is not likely to succeed. There are certain indi-
viduals in parliament who will have their say, aud who would find a
method of eluding any rule, however stringent, that the House might
lay down. If there were a standing order against speaking " more than
half an hour at one time upon the same question," the loquacious party-
would take care to talk u^on two subjects at once, and thus gain an
entire hour, and all kinds of fictions would be resorted to by the M.P.
who might be determined to keep his tongue continually going. If
speaking uninterruptedly were not permitted beyond a certain limit,
he would probably introduce a snatch of singing, and thus claim the
privilege of starting again, on the ground that the speaking had only
lasted during the time prescribed. The " exception " with which the
resolution of Mr. Wilkinson commences, would also open the door to
such an amount of evasion as would be sufficient to destroy the whole
effect of the rule; for " the introduction of a measure" could always be
arranged in some way or o'her, and it is not improbable that a member
who had mane up his mind to talk away for a whole evening, would
fuM tue^requirements of the exception as to the "introduction of a
measure by walking into the House with a pint pot in his hand.
Lae only remedy we can suggest for the garrulity which impedes all
the business of the session, is not to permit any legislative slow coach
to stop ihe way, but to have a large room tet apart for talking, while
alt the voting should be clone in the House itself. Directly a member
began to make a speech, he should be walked gently towards the door
by the proper officer, and turned in among the orators, who might be
snowed to talk all at once, while the real business of the coun rv could
be carried on by the working members. The talkers being thrown
together would be reduced to the necessity of talking each other down,
and the evil would thus cure itself. We object to the proposal to
allow half-hour speeches, which would be quite as bad as those of
longer duration, for the session would be swamped just as completely
by a succession of droppings from a series of water-spouts, as by the
uninterrupted dribbling of one or two pumps. Eor this reason, we
look upon the s^para'e system as the only effective mode of bringing
about the silent system in the House of Commons. Talkers cannot
get on without listeners, and if all the loquacity of the legislature were
to be concentrated in one spot, the nuisance would be brought to an
end, for even the most inveterate speech-makers cannot go on without
an audience.__
lielgium in England.
It is said that King Leopold visits England expressly to obtain the
advice of Prince Albert relative to the new Project, of Law for the
Belgian press; a project gently pressed upon his Majesty by Louis-
Napoleon. Prince Albert's fears, expressed last year as a nan-
monger, as to the strain put upon constitutional government by the too
much freedom of the press is not forgotten. Therefore, at this juncture,
old and astute as Leopold may be, Albert may nevertheless oe able
in his conflict with the Preach Emperor, to teach his uncle to suck
eggs—even the eggs of an Imperial eagle.
the playhouse knighthood.
Ie the Morning Post, successful in its instructions, should prevail,
and Mr. Charles Kean, for stage-upholstery, should be made a
Knight, it is very clear that he can be no other than a—carpet Knight.
A Curiosity of Periodical Litebature.—It is very curious—
Bradskaw's Guide is uniformly prosperous, and yet as a publication, it
has more "Ups" and "Downs" than any other!
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[JuLf 12, 1856.
THE QUADRILLE IN HOT WEATHER.
Stout Party (who suffers much from heat, and has in vain attempted to concecd himself).
" Oe, I BELIEVE WE ARE ENGAGED FOR THIS DANCE. I *VE BEEN—THAT is—I *ve
—EH ?—I 'VE BEEN LOOKING j?OR YOU—A —A — EVERYWHERE—PliEW ! "
TJNEA.SY TRAVELLING MADE EASY.
A Drawing-room at St. James's is very like a railway:
—a lady may know when the Train that she travels with
starts, but she never can tell at what hour it will reach its
destination—much _ less what accidents the train may
encounter on the journey, or whether, indeed, it will ever
arrive safe at all. It would not he a bad plan to start an
"Insurance Company for all Drawing-room Trains."
It might easily be d«me with a capital of £1,000,000, under
the "Limited Liability Act." Tickets, previous to starting,
should be issued to ladies at a low rate— say five guineas
a-head, which is not much, considering there are frequently
ostrich feathers and jewellery in each head. These tickets
should guarantee the countesses and duchesses against all
loss or injury that their dresses might sustain during the
perilous journey. Gentlemen might also be taken in,
receiving compensation for any trifling damage that was
inflicted on their silk stockings, cocked hats, or shirt-frills.
Such an ''Insurance Company" would be a great boon to
the public (as prospectuses invariably say), filling up a
vacuum in many an injured pocket, besides relieving the
minds of innumerable dowagers and chaperons, who a1"
present start on the trip with the greatest nervou-ness and
tear of the consequences. We have heard an aged mar-
chioness say, "that she would sooner at any time cross
the Channel twice than make the pass of St. James's Palace
once
Look cut, Mr. Crampion!
Mr. Peacocke would tell Lord Palmerston that, " if
he contemplated any scheme of reward for Mr. Ckampton,
the attention of the House of Commons woud be fixed upon
him." By this, let Mr. Ckampton understated (and, sleep-
ing or wakiug, never forget the fact,) that, should Lord
Palmerston attempt to mak« him even governor of
Heligoland, or Lot d-lieutenant of Herne Bay, Mr. Pea-
cocke will a tale unfold, and stiaightway bring down more
than a Peacocke's eyes upon him!
A Public-House Question.—Of the 111,309 persons
who signed petitions against Sunday music, how many
of them dipped their pens, really not in ink-stands, rut in
beer-pots and spirit noggins ?
"LET'S HAVE NT0 WORDS."
Mr. Wilkinson put no doubt a very sensible notice on the paper
when he proposed that except upon the introduction of a measure to
the House, no member do s^eak for more than half an hour at one time
upon the same question, nor upon any occasion for more than one Hour!
It would indeed be a great thing to cut down the garrulity of the
Commons, and to stop the mouths of members by effectually causing
them to shut up at a reasonable hour, but we are afraid that this early
closing movement is not likely to succeed. There are certain indi-
viduals in parliament who will have their say, aud who would find a
method of eluding any rule, however stringent, that the House might
lay down. If there were a standing order against speaking " more than
half an hour at one time upon the same question," the loquacious party-
would take care to talk u^on two subjects at once, and thus gain an
entire hour, and all kinds of fictions would be resorted to by the M.P.
who might be determined to keep his tongue continually going. If
speaking uninterruptedly were not permitted beyond a certain limit,
he would probably introduce a snatch of singing, and thus claim the
privilege of starting again, on the ground that the speaking had only
lasted during the time prescribed. The " exception " with which the
resolution of Mr. Wilkinson commences, would also open the door to
such an amount of evasion as would be sufficient to destroy the whole
effect of the rule; for " the introduction of a measure" could always be
arranged in some way or o'her, and it is not improbable that a member
who had mane up his mind to talk away for a whole evening, would
fuM tue^requirements of the exception as to the "introduction of a
measure by walking into the House with a pint pot in his hand.
Lae only remedy we can suggest for the garrulity which impedes all
the business of the session, is not to permit any legislative slow coach
to stop ihe way, but to have a large room tet apart for talking, while
alt the voting should be clone in the House itself. Directly a member
began to make a speech, he should be walked gently towards the door
by the proper officer, and turned in among the orators, who might be
snowed to talk all at once, while the real business of the coun rv could
be carried on by the working members. The talkers being thrown
together would be reduced to the necessity of talking each other down,
and the evil would thus cure itself. We object to the proposal to
allow half-hour speeches, which would be quite as bad as those of
longer duration, for the session would be swamped just as completely
by a succession of droppings from a series of water-spouts, as by the
uninterrupted dribbling of one or two pumps. Eor this reason, we
look upon the s^para'e system as the only effective mode of bringing
about the silent system in the House of Commons. Talkers cannot
get on without listeners, and if all the loquacity of the legislature were
to be concentrated in one spot, the nuisance would be brought to an
end, for even the most inveterate speech-makers cannot go on without
an audience.__
lielgium in England.
It is said that King Leopold visits England expressly to obtain the
advice of Prince Albert relative to the new Project, of Law for the
Belgian press; a project gently pressed upon his Majesty by Louis-
Napoleon. Prince Albert's fears, expressed last year as a nan-
monger, as to the strain put upon constitutional government by the too
much freedom of the press is not forgotten. Therefore, at this juncture,
old and astute as Leopold may be, Albert may nevertheless oe able
in his conflict with the Preach Emperor, to teach his uncle to suck
eggs—even the eggs of an Imperial eagle.
the playhouse knighthood.
Ie the Morning Post, successful in its instructions, should prevail,
and Mr. Charles Kean, for stage-upholstery, should be made a
Knight, it is very clear that he can be no other than a—carpet Knight.
A Curiosity of Periodical Litebature.—It is very curious—
Bradskaw's Guide is uniformly prosperous, and yet as a publication, it
has more "Ups" and "Downs" than any other!