DOI issue:
September 13, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0110
102
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 13, 1856
John Thomas (respondent). " Oh, not not at all dull—I've never hanythink to do when the Family's down, and now they're away, I've
less—which is wot I call Reel Enjiment."
Teach all you'd impart to jour son or your daughter,
For a m derate remittance of francs, by the quarter.
And as for the much-vexing question of creed,
The arrangements are found very liberal indeed.
Madame is a Catholic—if so, she whistles
Her dove off to mass, with their me da's and misses,
Her lord is a Protestant—prompt to invite
The youth of that faith to the Anglicm rite,
And one usher is "up" in the presbyter's iule,
Lest a small Presbyterian be sent to the school—
THE WILD BISHOP IN BOULOGNE.
Our scene is at Boulogne. Be frank now, and own,
That like mo?t of the English, you call it Boolone.
You all know the place. But perchance you don't know
Tne date of its origin, ages ago :
That CLesar subdued all the country about,
And put the Morinians, who lived there, to rout:
That his relative, Pediits, baptized it Boolone,
From Bolonia in Italy, where he was grown.
That its lighthouses long burned the best Roman candles, -Nay, supposing a parent's conviction should go
Till the Franks snuffed 'em out; that the Huns came, and Yandals, Along with the creed of Mohammed, or Fo,
And lastly the Normans, with pickaxe and spade,
And effaced all the marks that the Romans had made:
That Henry the Eighth, in Fifteen-forty-four,
Besieged it, and finally took it, that's more:
That we kept it six years, and we then behaved handsome
In giving it, up for a tidyish ransom :
That Nafoleon, some fifty years since, brought together
On its heights a magnificent army, which weather,
Or prudence, or something, forbad to cross over,
And march upon Georgitjs the Third, via Lover:
That Napoleon the Present, en route for the throne,
Landed here—but, enough of the past of Boolone.
For instruction of persons who don't like a joke's tone,
(Prepare for the rhyme) the best route is by Folkstone.
People used to come here who were deeply in debt,
But that system, in these days, is nearly upset;
lor the law has been altered, so now, debtor, cave
Of bailiffs translated, M. Slomane, M. Levy.
Let your kites be endorsed to a Frenchman, and, woe !
Boolone is no sa*er than Brompton, or Bow.
But the great feature here is the Schools, where we send
Oar young ones, their manners and accents to mend:
There are score?, where a Monsieur et Madame Quelquechose
Tram the infantine ranks of their insular foes,
I believe the Quelquechoses would chance to have got
A teacher with turban, or tail, on the spot-
Meantime the eleves are well watched, and well fed,
Well whipped and well physicked, well taught, ana well bred,
And they live in sweet air, and in fact it's well known,
That the child is well placed who is placed at Boolone.
But the priests have waxed wroth, and they cannot abide
That their " faithful" should learn by the heretic's side;
That a Papist should wickedly stand up in class
With the child of a person who don't go to mass;
And their consciences tell them it really won't do
To have children instructed that, twice one is two,
That Rome is in Italy, arbor a tree,_
That a square has four corners, a triangle three,
That upstrokes are thick snd that downstrokes are thin,
Or when it's the side-couple's turn to begin,
Unless all the brats—those who can't read, or can—
Avow a true faith in Immaculate Anne,
(The Virgin's mammi) of whom Pius the Rash
Declares, poor old man, in-Conceivable trash.
There's a Bishop oe Arras (Boolone, too, he rules),
"Who has taken the lead in denouncing the Schools,
And in sentences, swelling like elephantiasis,
Groans o'er the terrible sta'e of hia diocese.
1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[September 13, 1856
John Thomas (respondent). " Oh, not not at all dull—I've never hanythink to do when the Family's down, and now they're away, I've
less—which is wot I call Reel Enjiment."
Teach all you'd impart to jour son or your daughter,
For a m derate remittance of francs, by the quarter.
And as for the much-vexing question of creed,
The arrangements are found very liberal indeed.
Madame is a Catholic—if so, she whistles
Her dove off to mass, with their me da's and misses,
Her lord is a Protestant—prompt to invite
The youth of that faith to the Anglicm rite,
And one usher is "up" in the presbyter's iule,
Lest a small Presbyterian be sent to the school—
THE WILD BISHOP IN BOULOGNE.
Our scene is at Boulogne. Be frank now, and own,
That like mo?t of the English, you call it Boolone.
You all know the place. But perchance you don't know
Tne date of its origin, ages ago :
That CLesar subdued all the country about,
And put the Morinians, who lived there, to rout:
That his relative, Pediits, baptized it Boolone,
From Bolonia in Italy, where he was grown.
That its lighthouses long burned the best Roman candles, -Nay, supposing a parent's conviction should go
Till the Franks snuffed 'em out; that the Huns came, and Yandals, Along with the creed of Mohammed, or Fo,
And lastly the Normans, with pickaxe and spade,
And effaced all the marks that the Romans had made:
That Henry the Eighth, in Fifteen-forty-four,
Besieged it, and finally took it, that's more:
That we kept it six years, and we then behaved handsome
In giving it, up for a tidyish ransom :
That Nafoleon, some fifty years since, brought together
On its heights a magnificent army, which weather,
Or prudence, or something, forbad to cross over,
And march upon Georgitjs the Third, via Lover:
That Napoleon the Present, en route for the throne,
Landed here—but, enough of the past of Boolone.
For instruction of persons who don't like a joke's tone,
(Prepare for the rhyme) the best route is by Folkstone.
People used to come here who were deeply in debt,
But that system, in these days, is nearly upset;
lor the law has been altered, so now, debtor, cave
Of bailiffs translated, M. Slomane, M. Levy.
Let your kites be endorsed to a Frenchman, and, woe !
Boolone is no sa*er than Brompton, or Bow.
But the great feature here is the Schools, where we send
Oar young ones, their manners and accents to mend:
There are score?, where a Monsieur et Madame Quelquechose
Tram the infantine ranks of their insular foes,
I believe the Quelquechoses would chance to have got
A teacher with turban, or tail, on the spot-
Meantime the eleves are well watched, and well fed,
Well whipped and well physicked, well taught, ana well bred,
And they live in sweet air, and in fact it's well known,
That the child is well placed who is placed at Boolone.
But the priests have waxed wroth, and they cannot abide
That their " faithful" should learn by the heretic's side;
That a Papist should wickedly stand up in class
With the child of a person who don't go to mass;
And their consciences tell them it really won't do
To have children instructed that, twice one is two,
That Rome is in Italy, arbor a tree,_
That a square has four corners, a triangle three,
That upstrokes are thick snd that downstrokes are thin,
Or when it's the side-couple's turn to begin,
Unless all the brats—those who can't read, or can—
Avow a true faith in Immaculate Anne,
(The Virgin's mammi) of whom Pius the Rash
Declares, poor old man, in-Conceivable trash.
There's a Bishop oe Arras (Boolone, too, he rules),
"Who has taken the lead in denouncing the Schools,
And in sentences, swelling like elephantiasis,
Groans o'er the terrible sta'e of hia diocese.
1