Punch (31.1856)

October 4, 1856.j

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

137

You never heard me sing psalms, Jack ? Bless you, I can sing psalms

as well as Sir John DfcAU Paul. Can you sing, Jack? GREAT HOPES FOR A SMALL PARTY.

Black J. Like a nightingale.

Billy. Don't, Jack:, Don't use that word again, Nightingale's , It is very generally believed that on the maniage of the Princess
too good a name for the mouth of such a rogue as you. I wonder how j Royal with the Prince or Prussia, the young Prince of Wales is
you can pronounce the name of that celebrated young lady. It sticks ; to go the way of all Princes of Wale?, and forthwith to have a house

in my throat a little, and I always^ flatteied myself that 1 was a more ! and household of his own. With ihe history of the last Prince op

Wales, the Royal George, open before us, we can readily believe that
this intelligence of the early independence of the lloyal Albert has

impudent blackguard than you. Hallo !

Enter Confidential Clerk

Clerk. Toe deposit has arrived.
Hulks. Who is the victim ?
Clerk. A widow lady, seemingly.

Hulks. Widows' jointures—orphans' portions—the savings of age—

carried hope and comfort to a small party never more in need than at
pre-ent of any sort of support and consolation. Under the patronage
of the Heir Apparent and countenanced by his growing authority, there
can be no doubt (at least among themselves) to the small but very
sound Conservative body, that they will again rapidly wax into the

behold the remains of them ia these heaps of spoil before us! The strength and importance of a great party; and thus at once fulfil one
widow, tne orphan, the aged economist—these are our game; our I of the conditions of government so eloquently, nay, more than once so
quarry. Interest, large interest, is their aim. We pay them ample 'pathetically, insisted upon by the accomplished man, OEce the leader of
dividends out of their little capital, and pocket the remainder of it our-! the Conservative host.

selves. The hour is come! Go {to the Clerk) you have your; in return for the patronage and countenance benignly vouchsafed, as
directions. [Exit Clerk. ' expected, by his Royal Highness, the distinguished men of the party

Billy Jack, my bov, how do you find yourself ? ' obliged, will severally and individually devote their peculiar abilities to

Black J. Well, I'm toierablv'convalescent. ! the service of iheir youthful master. Nothing less could be expected

Billy. So am I, Jack. We bear up against it pretty well, Jack. of the patriotism of such politicians.

Black J. Agin what ? The Earl of D—rby will, of course, not shrink from the responsi-

Billy Agin the load of infamy on our shoulders, Jack. bility of imparting to his Royal Highness the best advice on all the

Black J. I don't feel no load of infamy. Infaniv don't hurt varied subjects of life, handled familiarly by his Lordship as his garter.

{Shouts in the street below, yells, shrieks, and cries of "Shcrmts " ■ Under such a preceptor it is reasonably to be hoped that the Royal

Hulks. The blow is struck ! [d violent battering at the door.

Hook Is the entry secure ?

Hulks. Strongly and safely barred : the Police, besides, will speedily

mind will be early directed to the manly discipline of the English turf;
the true soil whence the noblest qualities of the British statesman
flourish even as his country's oaks. A magnificent stud will, of

oblige rh-noisy multitude to disperse. course, be essential to the dignity of his Royal Highness; whilst a

,-r,, n ,. t ■ ■ . , ■ 7 „ , ,x f ee but dignified intercourse with the gentlemen "at the Corner" will

{Enter Domestics, bringing in the materials of a banquet.) , dt¥elope hls experience of men and things. (Perhaps nothing more

Here nm-.t we remain till nightfall; peril would be incurred by contributed to the popularity cf George the Third than his leather-

attempting to decamp with our booty ia the face of day. Order, as
you perceive, has been taken that we may pass the intervening time
agreeably. Befriended by the shades of darkness, we may escape
unobserved, and then, hey for Australia! where, if our kind friends
will only place that confidence in us which they have reposed in us
here, we may, with change of names and djed whiskers, succeed in
fleecing the trustful Antipodes, as nicely, as completely, and with as
perfect impunity, as we have shorn our unsuspecting clients on this
side of the globe.

Scene closes.

PACTS FOR PHARISEES.

Why, it may be asked, is a Sabbatarian on a Sunday like a smuggler ?
And the answer might be, Because he is a contrabandist. There is,
however, reason to hope that the sincere Sabbatarians will soon per-
ceive the propriety of discontinuing their opposition to Sunday music.
At the recent meeting of the National Sunday League, in St. Martin's
Hall, Mr. R, B&own (Chairman of the Sunday Band Committee)
moved the following ^solution :

" That the meeting 13 of opinion, that the music in the Parks of the Metropolis and
in other towns of the kingdom on Sundays has been productive of much good."

In the report of the meeting we further read that,

" The speaker gave a 3hort account of the proceedings of the Sunday Band Com-
mittee, and stated that in every town in which bands had been established, their
establishment had been productive of good."

If the Sunday bands play the people out of public-houses, and away
from the haunts of dissipation and vice, they play into the hands of
those who are truly zealous in the cau^e of religion and morality. The
Sunday Band Committee would do well to collect facts in proof of the
beneficial workings of their musical reformatory instruments. The
strictest Sabbatarian will admit that it is lawful to do good on the
Sabbath day; and if performances of music on that day are found to be
attended by a general improvement in manners and conduct, he will
perceive that they are supplemental sermon?, and will learn to look on
the movements in the various pieces as airs from Heaven, instead of
regarding them in an opposite point of view.

British Bank Balances.

Among other debtors—gentlemen, all gentlemen, and some directors
—debtors to the Royal British Bubble, we find the subjoined senatorial
names set against the subjoined sums :—

Humphrey Brown, Esq., M.P. tor Tewkesbury . £70,000
Joels M'Greoor, Esq., M.P. for Glasgow . . 7,36ii

breeches and top-boots.) Many a dull day has passed since the day
when a Prince of Wales was seen at Tattersall's ; but that day
may be on its speedy return. Of course, the noble Earl will not fail
to impress upon the Royal mind an awful sense of the danger impending
to the British constitution, or what, if possible, is more; to the
Christiani y of Christian England, in the threatened admission of the
Jews to Parliament.

Mr. Spo—ner, in acknowledgment of his services to his party, will,
doubtless, be permitted to read his speeches to His Royal Highness
(who, hitherto, possibly, may not have attended to them) on the
Babylonian wickedness of the Maynooth Grant.

To Mr. D—sr—eli will, we presume, be left the care of delivering
to the Prince a course of constitutional lectures on the national
necessity of the existence of the Conservative party, with Mr.
D—sr—eli, as prime minister, if possible, at the head of it.

The Marquis of Gr—nby, from his profound acquaintance with the
subject, is, of course, pointed out as His Royal Highness's preceptor
in political arithmetic.

Ms. M—ntz, as au independent member, and just to keep him in
humour, may be permitted by the party to ask His Rojal Highness—
" What is a Pound ?" It is, however, to be understood that His
Royal Highness is in no manner expected to make a satisfactory answer
to that perplexing question.

Yery sound views are to he expected from Sir John P—kenham;
good specimens of mummified Toryism may also be looked for from
Thessiger; whilst all official forms will be made as plain as marbles
by the lucid exposition of Mr. Walpole. Indeed, considering the
Conservative party as it stands (if it does stand), looking at it as so
much represented political and social wisdom, we think that the present
Heir Apparent will enjoy advantages from his advisers scarcely known
to his predecessors, Pjunce Hal and Prince George. As, however,
the last Prince of Walus had his evil tempter in the allurements aud
brilliancy of Sheridan ; so—(we must however give this much credit
to the Earl of D—rby, who does not attempt to disguise the peril)—
so it is to be feared that our Heir Apparent may be too wholly fasci-
nated and subdued by the wit and genius of another literary man;
need we name—Lord Ma—dst—ne ?

A Safe Secretary.

The Times, in a scarifying leader on the British Bank robbers, says—

" There was a little safe, and a little book locked with a little key, which Mb.
Cameron, the Secretary, kept in his waistcoat-pocket."

WTe hope that a la v will be found that shall consign a little secretary
to a little safe, to be locked not with a little key, and kept by an officer
of any one of our mansions the best judged as a stone casket for suca
a jewel.__

As these Members of Parliament have shown themselves 30 ready to
take Bank Thousands, perhaps it will not be too muca to expect that The Etiquette of Visiting—Do as Echo does—she no sooner
they should as soon as possible accept Chiltern Hundreds. receives a Call than immediately she responds to it,

Vol. 31. 5-2