DOI issue:
October 18, 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0160
152
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 18, 1856.
MUGGINS IN MOSCOW.
Being utterly ignorant of the Russian Language, he brings the appliances
MR. DRUMMOND ON BEER.
To Mr. Samuel Tope, and his " United Kingdom
Alliance," we present the following morsel of a speech
made by Mb H. Drtjmmond at the Surrey AgricuLtuial
Ass. ciation's late meeting at Epsom :—
1 Gentlemen, 1 believe this question of beer presses as much on the
morals as on the comforts of the people ; and if by the means of removing
the malt tax, you can give them plenty of really good beer, you would do
mor«- to reform their morals than by all the trumpery schemes that are
now being so strongly advocated."
Mr. Samuej, Pope, and his Allies of the United Kingdom
are leagued, we suppose, against tobacco as well as beer—
accordingly we will not advise them to put the foregoing
scrap of common sense into their pipes and smoke it", but
will venture to recommend it 10 them as something to
chew, and if possible, to swallow, and digest. Who are
the soberest people in the country, but the superior classes,
so called, who can get superior wine, and as much of it as
they want ? but what wine is superior to really good beer?
is it not reasonable to suppose with Mr. Drtjmmond,
that the command of really good beer would be morally
tantamount to the possession of superior wine? The whole
of the observations made on this subject by the Honourable
Member for West Suney upon the occasion above mentioned
are deserving of attention, being both pleasant and in-
structive, and the obvious couplet of—
" Hear, hear, hear,
Hsnrt Dkummond on Beer! "
may he suggested as the subject of a jolly catch to be sung
over jugs of good ale, if procurable, as Mr. Detjsimond
says it is only at one place in the county, by that gentleman's
constituents. _
Experimental Philosophy.
A Poor Corate says " He has often heard of the^ Three
Experiments of Living, but as for himself, he should like_ to
try the Experiment of Three Livings, for he has been trying
one Living all his li'e, and on his word the Experiment does
not answer, for it is as much as he can do to live upon it."
oi1 Art to describe the items of his Washing Bill. dear Old Motoer Church ! ! !
The Golden Calf.—One of the animal comforts of our
j SPIRIT OF THE RUSSIAN CIRCULAR.
f
An Ambassador has been defined to be, a man sent abroad to lie on
behalf of the commonwealth. With a slight alteration, this definition
will suit a Russian ambassador. He is to consider himself as a man
sent abroad to lie on behalf of the Czar.
To render a master the service of a lie, is to honour him with an act
of the deepest humility that a human being can perform to his superior ;
and is therefore the most acceptable homage that we can offer to our
august Empebor.
The views of our Imperial Master on the Naples question will be best
consulted by steady and determined lying.
In order to lie systematically, and with success, it is necessary to
know the exact truth which is to be falsified.
It suits the purpose of our august Master to compare the threatened
interference of E; gland and Fiance with Naples to the actual inter-
ference of His Majesty's la4e father, Nicholas, of blessed memory,
I with Turkey. It will be, therefore, your duty to persevere in insisting
1 that the two cases are precisely similar, until further orders. To do this
effectually, you must clearly understand that they are very different,
j His late Imperial Majesty interfered with the government of the
Sultan in order to obtain a footing in his dominions, under pretence of
demanding justice and toleration for his Christian subjects. If his
alleged motive had been his real one, he would of course have been
content with obtaining the securities necessary for his professed object,
in conjunction with the Western Powers.
E' giaud aod^ France propose to interfere with the Government of
the King oe Naples with the sole view of inducing him to treat his
subjects in a manner accordant with their ideas of hamauity and justice.
There is no doubt that they have not the least intention, of usurping
any portion of bis authority or dominions.
The only resemblance between Russian interference in the affairs of
Turkey, and Angjo-French in those of Naples consists in the mere fac
of interference. Between one pioceeding and the other there is an
immense moral distinction. You are required to assert and argue, in
the most positive manner, that there is none whatever. Tou will also
vehemently maintain that our august Master's motive in protesting
against Anglo French dictation to the King of Naples is a sense of
justice; because he regards it as an attempt, to govern in King
Ferdinand's stead, and an open declaration of the right of the strong
against the weak.
Always, however bear in mind that such is not our august Master's
motive, and that be thinks no such thing. Understand that he is
really actuated by a fear for the light divine of kings, in which the
belief of men will be shaken by the success of an attempt to compel
the King or Naples to govern his people otherwise than as he feels
proper. The Emperor wishes to enforce the doctrine that Kings and
Emperors (by divine right as contradistinguished from popular elec-
tion) are amenable to no human censure, and that any torments or
other outrages, which it may please them to inflict on their subjects,
are to be regarded in the same light with divine afflictions and
punit>hoient3.
You will disseminate the lies necessary for the maintenance or this
doctrine in all quarters wherein they are likely to obtain any credit,
Go&3 zchakoff.
The March of Fanaticism in France.
There is to he shortly another grand religious procession of black
beetles through the streets of Boulogne, the clergy thinking they ongbt
to take some steps to avert the financial crisis in France. The hannrr
to be flaunted on that occasion in the face of John Pull is, we are
credibly informed, to be as follows :—Our Lady of Boulogne pia}s for
the Conversion of English Gold into French Silver ! !!
Foreign Climes.
We hear from Mont Blanc that " Les Grands Mulets"* no longer
exist. They are for ever swept out of the u ap of Switzerland. Hence
forth, out of compliment to the number of English who keen climbing
up there, and uselessly risking their necks, they are to be called "Tub
Great Donkeys."
* Mulet is the French for mule.—•Mmglish Dramatic Author
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 18, 1856.
MUGGINS IN MOSCOW.
Being utterly ignorant of the Russian Language, he brings the appliances
MR. DRUMMOND ON BEER.
To Mr. Samuel Tope, and his " United Kingdom
Alliance," we present the following morsel of a speech
made by Mb H. Drtjmmond at the Surrey AgricuLtuial
Ass. ciation's late meeting at Epsom :—
1 Gentlemen, 1 believe this question of beer presses as much on the
morals as on the comforts of the people ; and if by the means of removing
the malt tax, you can give them plenty of really good beer, you would do
mor«- to reform their morals than by all the trumpery schemes that are
now being so strongly advocated."
Mr. Samuej, Pope, and his Allies of the United Kingdom
are leagued, we suppose, against tobacco as well as beer—
accordingly we will not advise them to put the foregoing
scrap of common sense into their pipes and smoke it", but
will venture to recommend it 10 them as something to
chew, and if possible, to swallow, and digest. Who are
the soberest people in the country, but the superior classes,
so called, who can get superior wine, and as much of it as
they want ? but what wine is superior to really good beer?
is it not reasonable to suppose with Mr. Drtjmmond,
that the command of really good beer would be morally
tantamount to the possession of superior wine? The whole
of the observations made on this subject by the Honourable
Member for West Suney upon the occasion above mentioned
are deserving of attention, being both pleasant and in-
structive, and the obvious couplet of—
" Hear, hear, hear,
Hsnrt Dkummond on Beer! "
may he suggested as the subject of a jolly catch to be sung
over jugs of good ale, if procurable, as Mr. Detjsimond
says it is only at one place in the county, by that gentleman's
constituents. _
Experimental Philosophy.
A Poor Corate says " He has often heard of the^ Three
Experiments of Living, but as for himself, he should like_ to
try the Experiment of Three Livings, for he has been trying
one Living all his li'e, and on his word the Experiment does
not answer, for it is as much as he can do to live upon it."
oi1 Art to describe the items of his Washing Bill. dear Old Motoer Church ! ! !
The Golden Calf.—One of the animal comforts of our
j SPIRIT OF THE RUSSIAN CIRCULAR.
f
An Ambassador has been defined to be, a man sent abroad to lie on
behalf of the commonwealth. With a slight alteration, this definition
will suit a Russian ambassador. He is to consider himself as a man
sent abroad to lie on behalf of the Czar.
To render a master the service of a lie, is to honour him with an act
of the deepest humility that a human being can perform to his superior ;
and is therefore the most acceptable homage that we can offer to our
august Empebor.
The views of our Imperial Master on the Naples question will be best
consulted by steady and determined lying.
In order to lie systematically, and with success, it is necessary to
know the exact truth which is to be falsified.
It suits the purpose of our august Master to compare the threatened
interference of E; gland and Fiance with Naples to the actual inter-
ference of His Majesty's la4e father, Nicholas, of blessed memory,
I with Turkey. It will be, therefore, your duty to persevere in insisting
1 that the two cases are precisely similar, until further orders. To do this
effectually, you must clearly understand that they are very different,
j His late Imperial Majesty interfered with the government of the
Sultan in order to obtain a footing in his dominions, under pretence of
demanding justice and toleration for his Christian subjects. If his
alleged motive had been his real one, he would of course have been
content with obtaining the securities necessary for his professed object,
in conjunction with the Western Powers.
E' giaud aod^ France propose to interfere with the Government of
the King oe Naples with the sole view of inducing him to treat his
subjects in a manner accordant with their ideas of hamauity and justice.
There is no doubt that they have not the least intention, of usurping
any portion of bis authority or dominions.
The only resemblance between Russian interference in the affairs of
Turkey, and Angjo-French in those of Naples consists in the mere fac
of interference. Between one pioceeding and the other there is an
immense moral distinction. You are required to assert and argue, in
the most positive manner, that there is none whatever. Tou will also
vehemently maintain that our august Master's motive in protesting
against Anglo French dictation to the King of Naples is a sense of
justice; because he regards it as an attempt, to govern in King
Ferdinand's stead, and an open declaration of the right of the strong
against the weak.
Always, however bear in mind that such is not our august Master's
motive, and that be thinks no such thing. Understand that he is
really actuated by a fear for the light divine of kings, in which the
belief of men will be shaken by the success of an attempt to compel
the King or Naples to govern his people otherwise than as he feels
proper. The Emperor wishes to enforce the doctrine that Kings and
Emperors (by divine right as contradistinguished from popular elec-
tion) are amenable to no human censure, and that any torments or
other outrages, which it may please them to inflict on their subjects,
are to be regarded in the same light with divine afflictions and
punit>hoient3.
You will disseminate the lies necessary for the maintenance or this
doctrine in all quarters wherein they are likely to obtain any credit,
Go&3 zchakoff.
The March of Fanaticism in France.
There is to he shortly another grand religious procession of black
beetles through the streets of Boulogne, the clergy thinking they ongbt
to take some steps to avert the financial crisis in France. The hannrr
to be flaunted on that occasion in the face of John Pull is, we are
credibly informed, to be as follows :—Our Lady of Boulogne pia}s for
the Conversion of English Gold into French Silver ! !!
Foreign Climes.
We hear from Mont Blanc that " Les Grands Mulets"* no longer
exist. They are for ever swept out of the u ap of Switzerland. Hence
forth, out of compliment to the number of English who keen climbing
up there, and uselessly risking their necks, they are to be called "Tub
Great Donkeys."
* Mulet is the French for mule.—•Mmglish Dramatic Author