DOI Heft:
October 18, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0167
October 18, 1856.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
159
AN FMBARRASSLNG REGULATION.
Baigneuse (politely, but with firmness). " Mais oui, M'sieu, c'est pour
vous : il faut que vous le mettiez."
Great Briton (aghast) " Eh ? what the d-/ why, you don't expect that
1 can wear such baby-linen as that, do you ?"
ANIMALS' INJUDICIOUS FRIENDS.
" Mb. Punch, " Cow Crorse, Smiffle, Septembr, 1856.
"Yuavent the onnur hof Norn mee i Spose, but" i dessay
yuve eerd o Me sir. Ime the rigitial Bil Burn sir i am. Bil burn
Aa the song wos rote about yu No sir. Which wollopd is donkey wot
woodent go an was ad up afore the beke an Fine in consekwens. And
sins then manyHuthers ekally Respecktahle for the same afence or
sitch for instaus the Tri£ol of twistin a Carf's Tale hoff or ittin a Hox
atween the Orns. Yes sif. Canine heven's onlarful now an Yure Libel
to be ad up for it witch a Pal of mine got into Trubel for only the
uther Day. I ave eerd of three munths been ad for skinin a live Catt,
witch is rayther sewere, and soon I spose there 1 Be a punishment for
a Cove servin a Flee or a Bugg too crule in killin of im, there's a Stopp
Bsq putt to hall good hold inglish sports and the end on it Will be We
shall Hall get spooDy.
" Whearaz the french is Aioardin hof us a Patera witch if we dont
raind they 1 werry soon Wipe our is aid our Nashoual carickter be
Gon and theirn Wot ourn use to Wos ia the good old times of yoar. i
See by the tim nuspaper that the Hemprer and hempfress hof the
French dorin their ollidays hout thare by the Pirry Knees ave been
setin the Good Hexampel to their Subjix of asistin as our Hall is sex
at >hat trewly rashanal and improvin Specktackle a Spannish bul Fite.
This exibishon came orf on the 20 first of this September sunday the
beter the day the beter the dede. About witch I cutt the follerin
hextrax out a the tints for yure inttruckshun and A Musement this is
ow they Setvd the Bul : —
" The chulos would not consent to the terms, whatever these were ; 'hey shock their
gay clothes in his face, and his fury again returned. He attacked Caldebon's horse
in the rear, and the picador was evidently unprepared for this mode of assault. He
defended himself, however, without losing his saddle, and the horse got rid of the bull
without more serious damage than a slightly gored leg. Trigo, the second picador, 1
apparently annoyed at his comrade's negligence, came up at full gallop, and rushed
against the fariou-i bull. In a second Trigo lay sprawling on the ground, with hia
horse killed beside him. Panadero and Aragon helped him to rise, and he went in
search of another quadruped. Usa planted a tergo a pair of banderillas or darts in the
neck of the animal, dropping suddenly on hitr, and then gliding away by the left. He \
succeeded well in bis feat, and was much applauded. Four pairs of darts were Btruck
in the bull's neck by Usa and Chacon, and after some further play, the trumpet gave
the signal of death. Desperdicio, whose duty it was, as first matador, to kill the bull,
advanced, as is the etiquette, to the Emperor's hox, and asked permission to do the
deed. This, of course, was accorded, and he flung his montera cap in the air, which
meant that he staked everything on the cast. He despatched the animal in two
blows."
" This wasat. the fust bulfife as mapoleon the Tiiurd acd eujenny
atended nither—there was Won afore That won acordin too witch
the Darts spoke of in the buv hextrack i take it ad gunpowder in em
in the form of Squibb or devvle to torment the hanimle the Moor.
Whitch id coarse Mast ave grateSy increesd the Spoart. Wich d'ddent
Hend there for
" The second bull, after a similar trial as the first, was killed by the panadero in one
Btroke, which Montes himself might have envied. The same opera-ions weie ie-
peated throughout, and the result was that six bulls were killed and eight horses."
I " Nott honly buL you se mistir punch was Kild but also Osses.
Hear you as no less than ate osses kild oss arter oss for Funn wilst in
this onappy Kuutry u carnt wopp one Hoss even to make im go without
been Pumsht for Crulety. they maniges These things Beter in France
a preshus site. Butt now wot i say is and wot i Wants you mister
■punch to Putt forrads is that the Siety for the Pervention of Crulety to
Hanimles had best not go on no longer a goin of it the way they do.
hear his that Grate mann the Hempkeb of the French our agust
Hal^ie and is beauful consart—look at the Urns pickter on her :—
" 9he was dressed in black, with a black mantilla—a French bonnet would have
been a solecism—and one small red flower in her hair. Her beauty and her grace,
which her costume so well set off, excited admiration, and her presence was hailed
with repeated bursts of applause."
"purtycreter—here's this here delickit and luvly yung ooman and
that here mighty in ilusteious suvering not above enjoyin manly spon,
here you has that magnanimus monark the Hemper Napoleun and is
interestin spows a surweyin hof a Sptcktickle of wot yur morkish
sentimentalisses calls dum hanimals blud band haggany Hand enjoyin
hof the same. Now then if the Crulety Coves comes down on a poor
feller for heven sitch a pety matter as stablishin a litel ror upon a old
moak I say they hoffers a gross and wilent hinsult to our liusterious
Hally. Witch in coars is calcilated to indanger tue alianceof Hingland
and trance and disturb them iutimit releshuns has now appily subsistes
between the 2 Kuntreys. Witch therefore i ope the Assistans of_ your
pouiful Penn to put the cibosh upon the Siety for the Perwention of
wot they calls Crulety to Hanimals and Perwent them from Getin us
into a Scrape with france by Hinterferin with the Rites of property in
doin wot 1 likes with my Hone and the hinnocent pastimes and recka-
rations with Cox and the Canine Speeches of your umble servint. to
Comand. « ^jrILLTJM; ~QVRX, Deler in vegebles settra."
" P.S. An int to ed kevarters. There cant be no arm no ow in the
destruckshn of Varmint. Woodut it be a graseful complement as
wood be took ware it was ment if so be as ow the quene and prins
Halbbbd was to pateruise the Musements of their umbeler clarse of
Subjacks in respect of Ratts by ateudin a Rattin Match in State at the
Grand Huproar. Or by way of Rojle divershon for a sonday mornin
wot do you say to Badgurs."
THE EXPRESSIONS OF THE HANI).
after marriage.
THE STICK IN THE PULPIT.
The Reverend Mr Bird, of Cumberworth, takes up the cndgt-ls i>>
the cnuse of one James Scott, who beat his wife because she would
not go to Church to hear the Bird aforesaid. Scott has been sent to
gaol with a mouth's hard labour. Mr. Bird has improved the occasion
and given lectures, in which he contends—
" That it is a man's duty to rule his own household ; and th-it if his wife refuse tr
obey his orders, he is justified, according to the law of God, in beating her in order t
enforce obedience."
Will Mr. Bird point out where "ti>e la<v of God" directs th-
beatiDg of a wife "to enforce obedience?" We thought "a sol
answer turned away wrath;" but Mr Bird evidently preaches fron
his own edition of the Scriptures. We should hardly think Ma. Biri
the dove of the Church, but the butcher-bird of the Conventicle. At\
way, so long as Mr Bird advocates the cudgelling of wivts, so loi^
shall we be sorry to find such a sUck in the pulpit.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
159
AN FMBARRASSLNG REGULATION.
Baigneuse (politely, but with firmness). " Mais oui, M'sieu, c'est pour
vous : il faut que vous le mettiez."
Great Briton (aghast) " Eh ? what the d-/ why, you don't expect that
1 can wear such baby-linen as that, do you ?"
ANIMALS' INJUDICIOUS FRIENDS.
" Mb. Punch, " Cow Crorse, Smiffle, Septembr, 1856.
"Yuavent the onnur hof Norn mee i Spose, but" i dessay
yuve eerd o Me sir. Ime the rigitial Bil Burn sir i am. Bil burn
Aa the song wos rote about yu No sir. Which wollopd is donkey wot
woodent go an was ad up afore the beke an Fine in consekwens. And
sins then manyHuthers ekally Respecktahle for the same afence or
sitch for instaus the Tri£ol of twistin a Carf's Tale hoff or ittin a Hox
atween the Orns. Yes sif. Canine heven's onlarful now an Yure Libel
to be ad up for it witch a Pal of mine got into Trubel for only the
uther Day. I ave eerd of three munths been ad for skinin a live Catt,
witch is rayther sewere, and soon I spose there 1 Be a punishment for
a Cove servin a Flee or a Bugg too crule in killin of im, there's a Stopp
Bsq putt to hall good hold inglish sports and the end on it Will be We
shall Hall get spooDy.
" Whearaz the french is Aioardin hof us a Patera witch if we dont
raind they 1 werry soon Wipe our is aid our Nashoual carickter be
Gon and theirn Wot ourn use to Wos ia the good old times of yoar. i
See by the tim nuspaper that the Hemprer and hempfress hof the
French dorin their ollidays hout thare by the Pirry Knees ave been
setin the Good Hexampel to their Subjix of asistin as our Hall is sex
at >hat trewly rashanal and improvin Specktackle a Spannish bul Fite.
This exibishon came orf on the 20 first of this September sunday the
beter the day the beter the dede. About witch I cutt the follerin
hextrax out a the tints for yure inttruckshun and A Musement this is
ow they Setvd the Bul : —
" The chulos would not consent to the terms, whatever these were ; 'hey shock their
gay clothes in his face, and his fury again returned. He attacked Caldebon's horse
in the rear, and the picador was evidently unprepared for this mode of assault. He
defended himself, however, without losing his saddle, and the horse got rid of the bull
without more serious damage than a slightly gored leg. Trigo, the second picador, 1
apparently annoyed at his comrade's negligence, came up at full gallop, and rushed
against the fariou-i bull. In a second Trigo lay sprawling on the ground, with hia
horse killed beside him. Panadero and Aragon helped him to rise, and he went in
search of another quadruped. Usa planted a tergo a pair of banderillas or darts in the
neck of the animal, dropping suddenly on hitr, and then gliding away by the left. He \
succeeded well in bis feat, and was much applauded. Four pairs of darts were Btruck
in the bull's neck by Usa and Chacon, and after some further play, the trumpet gave
the signal of death. Desperdicio, whose duty it was, as first matador, to kill the bull,
advanced, as is the etiquette, to the Emperor's hox, and asked permission to do the
deed. This, of course, was accorded, and he flung his montera cap in the air, which
meant that he staked everything on the cast. He despatched the animal in two
blows."
" This wasat. the fust bulfife as mapoleon the Tiiurd acd eujenny
atended nither—there was Won afore That won acordin too witch
the Darts spoke of in the buv hextrack i take it ad gunpowder in em
in the form of Squibb or devvle to torment the hanimle the Moor.
Whitch id coarse Mast ave grateSy increesd the Spoart. Wich d'ddent
Hend there for
" The second bull, after a similar trial as the first, was killed by the panadero in one
Btroke, which Montes himself might have envied. The same opera-ions weie ie-
peated throughout, and the result was that six bulls were killed and eight horses."
I " Nott honly buL you se mistir punch was Kild but also Osses.
Hear you as no less than ate osses kild oss arter oss for Funn wilst in
this onappy Kuutry u carnt wopp one Hoss even to make im go without
been Pumsht for Crulety. they maniges These things Beter in France
a preshus site. Butt now wot i say is and wot i Wants you mister
■punch to Putt forrads is that the Siety for the Pervention of Crulety to
Hanimles had best not go on no longer a goin of it the way they do.
hear his that Grate mann the Hempkeb of the French our agust
Hal^ie and is beauful consart—look at the Urns pickter on her :—
" 9he was dressed in black, with a black mantilla—a French bonnet would have
been a solecism—and one small red flower in her hair. Her beauty and her grace,
which her costume so well set off, excited admiration, and her presence was hailed
with repeated bursts of applause."
"purtycreter—here's this here delickit and luvly yung ooman and
that here mighty in ilusteious suvering not above enjoyin manly spon,
here you has that magnanimus monark the Hemper Napoleun and is
interestin spows a surweyin hof a Sptcktickle of wot yur morkish
sentimentalisses calls dum hanimals blud band haggany Hand enjoyin
hof the same. Now then if the Crulety Coves comes down on a poor
feller for heven sitch a pety matter as stablishin a litel ror upon a old
moak I say they hoffers a gross and wilent hinsult to our liusterious
Hally. Witch in coars is calcilated to indanger tue alianceof Hingland
and trance and disturb them iutimit releshuns has now appily subsistes
between the 2 Kuntreys. Witch therefore i ope the Assistans of_ your
pouiful Penn to put the cibosh upon the Siety for the Perwention of
wot they calls Crulety to Hanimals and Perwent them from Getin us
into a Scrape with france by Hinterferin with the Rites of property in
doin wot 1 likes with my Hone and the hinnocent pastimes and recka-
rations with Cox and the Canine Speeches of your umble servint. to
Comand. « ^jrILLTJM; ~QVRX, Deler in vegebles settra."
" P.S. An int to ed kevarters. There cant be no arm no ow in the
destruckshn of Varmint. Woodut it be a graseful complement as
wood be took ware it was ment if so be as ow the quene and prins
Halbbbd was to pateruise the Musements of their umbeler clarse of
Subjacks in respect of Ratts by ateudin a Rattin Match in State at the
Grand Huproar. Or by way of Rojle divershon for a sonday mornin
wot do you say to Badgurs."
THE EXPRESSIONS OF THE HANI).
after marriage.
THE STICK IN THE PULPIT.
The Reverend Mr Bird, of Cumberworth, takes up the cndgt-ls i>>
the cnuse of one James Scott, who beat his wife because she would
not go to Church to hear the Bird aforesaid. Scott has been sent to
gaol with a mouth's hard labour. Mr. Bird has improved the occasion
and given lectures, in which he contends—
" That it is a man's duty to rule his own household ; and th-it if his wife refuse tr
obey his orders, he is justified, according to the law of God, in beating her in order t
enforce obedience."
Will Mr. Bird point out where "ti>e la<v of God" directs th-
beatiDg of a wife "to enforce obedience?" We thought "a sol
answer turned away wrath;" but Mr Bird evidently preaches fron
his own edition of the Scriptures. We should hardly think Ma. Biri
the dove of the Church, but the butcher-bird of the Conventicle. At\
way, so long as Mr Bird advocates the cudgelling of wivts, so loi^
shall we be sorry to find such a sUck in the pulpit.