Punch (31.1856)

November 1, 1856.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

179

ANSWER TO KIND INQUIRIES.

Poor Curate. " Thank you—yes—Mrs. Drudgett and the twins are going on nicely."

PALMERSTON AND TOTAL ABSTINENCE.

" To the energy of one man, Lord Palmerstoh, we owe it that onr
Army was saved from disgrace.. The objects of this alliance will no
doubt be supported by that eminent man "—Speech of Sir G. Strickland

at the United Kingdom Alliance. Manchester.

" There is now no great political question to move the world; let ours
then be the cause that shall move it."—Ditto of Mr. Heywobtii, M.P.,
at ditio.

Away wit.b 'he Whigs and the Tories,

Che Pt-elites and Radicals too;
Their squabbles are wretched old stories,

With which we've now nothing to do.

All hushed are the watchwords of Party,
The Ballot, the Jew Bill, Mayno >to ;

Tn^re's nothing no* honest or hearty,
No zeal for polemical truth.

I have it, tho' Whigs have turned traitors,
Too' the Queen oas nut yet lost her C-own,

Tbe-e's a field left, for staunch agitator *
Who fear not the Times'' laugh or fio»n.

The state ship, with teatot'lers to man her,

Shall still proudly ridf on the sea:
Huzzah. tbeu ! aloft with our Banner !

Our wai-cry is " Muffi s at)d Tea ! "

Pitt and Fox never shirked their third bottle;

O'Con nell was fo'id of poteen ;
E'en Lord John so netimes moistens his throttle

With Claret, ('tis good for the spleen) :

But Pam who so staunch and so brave is,
Who aloue beat the Russians last year,—

Oh ! he is predestined to save us
From Brandy, and Bordeaux, and Beer.

Ne'er say he's too jovial and cheery,
That tea-drinkers are dull and demure ;

A man may be bright yet not, beery,
For instance, just look at Panmure.

And Pam his best fight will be gaining
His far proudest garland he'll wear ;

When the Nation he's schooled in abstaining,
Twines a wreath of green tea for h's hair.

THOUGHTS IN WAX.

We feel that we do no sufficiently ofren pay our respects to the
fine art of Madame Tussau<\ We are therefore glad, whm quickened
in our duty by tne invincible a'ftraction of a great novelty. Now,
Isabs.lla, Qoe»n of Spain, has just be; n added *"0 the waxen glories
of Baker Street; and although opinions may differ as to the precise
chamber most worthy of Her Maje-ty's presence, no doubt can be
entertained of the consummate artistic skill that presents the Spanish
queen to all possible admiration of h^r beholders. Her Majesty wears
a splendid Court dress, decorated with magnificent show diamonds and
other jewels—the pearl of purity no doubt, being among them, dis-
cernible through a glass of forty-courtier power. Nevertheless, giving
all praise to the artistic creators of Her Majesty, we think she might
have been represented more to the lite if a little mo-e practical. Are
we not, told when Her Majesty recemd the resignation of her la>e
Ministers, that tears rolled down her ceeks, whilst, at th« same time
she hid her laughing mouth with her handkerchief? Now, a little
more pains bestowed upon her waxen Majesty, would have given
her more vitality ; worth, possibly, an extra sixpence from thi
p;>cket of the beholder. Garrick, we are told, could equally divide
his face between tears and grins; and why, by mtans of easy
mechanism, might not, IsaBELLA repeat the pari, in Baker Street, that
she has already acted with so much self-applause in Madrid ? Again,
if the artist desired to give a poetic finish to Her Majesty, be might
place in the Royal hana a receipt in full on the part ot all Finglish
c editors. Any way, it is a great satisfaction to the chaste, the honest,
and the wise, to know that they can improve their shining hours by
meditating the virtues of Isabella Segunda as enshrined in wax.
May she live a hundred years fioni the melting pot!

We know that to arrive at the glory of a pedestal in Baker Street is,
nerhaps, the highest honour that can reward prosperous genius. May
we, therefore, put in a claim for the celebrated Mb,. Spubgeon? Or
course it would be necessary to surround the reverend figure by a
rail; and further to guard it by a policeman-visitor in plain clothes.
Otherwise, we can all readilv conceive the destructive effects of a fervid

enthusiasm. The pet of the pulpit, who has such familiar acquaintance
with seraphs, if not duly protected, would be picked to bits by female
worshippers. His locks would daily disappear from his caput sacrum
to be enshrined in lockets, warmed by the pious warmth of fair
idolators. " I'll break thy little finger, Hal," snys Lady Perey in
threatening playfulness to her loved Hotspur. In like manner, young
gentlewomen, out of holy doting, might carry away every finger and
thumb of the free-and-easy Ezekiel, who cries solemn things with the
? elf-satisfied out-speaking of a costermonger; and who calls sinners to
grace, as a tap-room visitant calls for "another piot."

Now these are qualities that, in a pastor and master, make many
worshippers: and, who can doubt it, is not Chaeles H. Spubgeon, in
the flush and strength of his twenty-third year, a sacred ceature at
thousands of tea-tables ? Who shaii count the slippers worked for
those triumphant feet, that walk over " the burning marie," the pil-
grim carrying as maoy sinners on h's back, and looking waggish and
joking the while,—even as the strong fellow at a fair carries his load of
half-a-doze,n bumpkins? Who shall count the mouths that have hung
upon the words of Spubgeon, smackingly receiving them as children
take dosm any quantity of b'imstone for the sake of The tieacle it is
mixed with ? The name of Spubgeon is now associated with an event
that makes him a first-class hero of tragedy ; and we think the house of
Tussaud will consult its duty to the public, to say nothiog of its own
interest, by immediately calling the preacher of the Surrey Gardens to
Upper Baker Street. We may add that a money-box duly labelled for
contributions to buy up Blackheath, and cover it in'or a Temple of
Spubgeon, m;ght be planed at the feet of the reverend image for the
offerings of the truly gullible.

We have one more suggestion to make for the profit of Madame
Tussaud, and the instruction and elevation of the public. Why should
not Mb. Preston Brookes be promoted to the Chamber of Horrors P
The man has fairly won tne distinction, and why is it not awarded him P
Whilst there are individuals whom we could name duly enshrined in
that Chamber, and *hilst Mb. Preston Brookes remainB unrepre-
sented there, the omission seems an unworthy indifference of foreign
merit.