DOI Heft:
November 8, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0195
Not ember 8, 1856.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
187
THE ALLIGATOR AT HOME!
_S KCBETA RY M ITCH ELL,
* of the Zoological Gar-
dens, to the great
disgust of the hippo-
potami, has received
a magnificent live
alligator, nearly fifteen
feet long, and pro-
digiously lively. _ Toe
animal has been visited
by a large circle of
rank and fashion.
Mr. Macgregob, of
the British Bank, and
"purely a West-end
man," with his com-
panion in advances,
Mr, Bbown, (>f Tew-
kesbury, lias attended
the alligator at feed-
ing-time, and even
both gentlemen have
expressed themselves
astonished at the
animal's power of
swallow. For our
own part, we think
that, as things re-
main, even the alligator is beaten by the constituents of Glasgow and Tewkesbury.
CONSEQUENCE OF A. ME BE PEAK.
We have to announce the abdication of the King of
the Mountain?, His Majesty Kanciiintinga, of the
Himalayas, in favour of a neighbouring potentate, " not
a hundred miles" from Katmandoo, and whose name we
are not at present at liberty to disclose, but who will
for the future assume the style and title of the Highest
Mountain in the World. Tbe alteration in the dynasty
has been brought about by the manoeuvres of Colonel
Waugh, Surveyor-General of India, who may himself
be said to be monarch of all he surveys; but, as he is
nothing of the kind, the saying so would be simply
absurd. _
AN UNREASONABLE GRUMBLER.
M. TrjRR complains of the Foreign Office for not
giving him a passport to Constantinople. Can't M.
Turk go to Constantinople by sea from Southampton ?
If he goes by land he may come witbin clutch of
Austria, and then !—
On the whole, we think M. Ttjrr ought rather to
say of himself, when Lord Clarendon prevents hiu>
from running his head into the wolf's jaws—"Felix
Ter et amplius,"
Answer to an Advebhsement.—" Do you double
up your Perambulators ? "—No, but Mr. Arnold has
done it, in dec'dir-g that they must not come upon
the foot-pavement.
THE LAND FOR THE LADIES.
lis tie King of Sweden's speech on the recent opening of the
Swedish Diet, the foilowibg remarkable passage occurs:—
" A just appreciation of the rights of women being a sure guarantee of her fidelity in
the fulfilment of her duties and of her mission in the family, it i-> my intention to pro-
pose to you that unmarried women shall be considered of age at 25, which is recognised
in nearly all the states of Europe."
Sweden is clearly the land for the ladies. There it appears that up
to what is here considered the tolerably ripe age of twenty-five, a girl
is supposed to be in her minority, or nonage; in short, as we say, of no
age at all. At thirty, we apprehend, she is still looked upon as quite
"a young thing;" and, at about fifty as being "in the prime of life."
"Fat, fair, and sixty," is piobably the formula which, in Sweden, is
expressive of fjemale maturity ; at seventy a damsel begins to be a little
passee, and at'eighty is considered to have attained to " a certain age.
TUliPIN EEDIYIVUS.
The good old times are comiiig back, those ancient days that saw
The famed Dick Turpin, Claude du Val, and Jebry Abebshaw,
At night we can no longer in inglorious safety roam,
Nor sleep in base security from housebreakers at hom?.
" Stand and deliver ! " is a cry which England had forgof,
But we have now a substitute for that in the garotte ;
And, if "Your money or your life! " i3 heard no more, instead,
A fellow with a life-preserver knocks you on the head.
A helmet he who walks by dark to don should have a care,
And a spiked collar round his neck, if prudent, he will wear,
A good revolver in his belt be well will do to stick,
Also to carry in his fist a cudgel strong and thick.
The wanderer by Jack Sheppard is at Shepherd's Rush waylaid,
And on the Green of Paddington the footpad plies his trade,
And Mr. Sykes familiarly denominated Bill,
The residents nocturnally alarms of JNotting Hill.
" Oh, where can the Police be ? " is the universal c;y,
And Echo answers only with her regular reply,
Whilst, for all that useful body, as they're said to be, of mm,
We might all as well be living in a lonely Highland glen.
The Soldiers have come back again, by reason of the Peace, how to preserve England.
And doubtless, in tbe kitchens, have supplanted the Police, ! ^ith a certain Duke the remedy for all the evils in Ecglaud was
And therefore the attention of the guardians of our fold Curry-powder.
With a certain Emperor the remedy for the evils of the English
Press would be Cayenae.
And these are your Friends ! !!
First Friend. I say, what do you think ? Young Rattlebrain was
in Spurgeon's Chapel last Sunda> !
Second Friend. Then he thought it was a Theatre, having heard
some one declare that his preachicg was "as good as a play ! "
Cannot wholly be concentrated on legs of mutton cold.
Awake, ye able-bodied men, in azure garb arrayed,
Arouse ye from your dalliance witn the stupid servant-maid ;
Bethink ye more of bioken heads, and less of broken meat,
That never was designed to be tbe object of your beat.
Let not old women's apple-stalls engross your manly rage,
Ticket-of-leave men rather should your vigilance engage ;
To you from them we look in vain our premises to guard,
Then what can you be thinking of, ye men of Scotland Yard?
One who Stands by Himself.
The " One Policeman of Herne Bay " has been solicited to join
his staff to that of the Unity Bank, and to allow himself to be nominated
its chairman, as it is considered tbat he must understand to a letter the
exact amount of strength that is supposed to lie in " Unity."
virtuous indignation.
Dr. Hale was casting his clerical eye the other day over the
advertisements, when, coming to the quack announcement, that in the
loudest brass heralds " 50,000 cures," he exclaimed, with sublime
contempt, "The Pluralist! ! !"
The Lady and the Bear.
A Canadian paper tells us how one Miss Philbbick set a trap for
a bear, and how the bear bodily carried the trap away. We have heard
of cases of worse fortune; in which a lady, in her idleness, not only set
a trap for a beast, but absolutely caught him.
"bell's news."
a new style op weathercock. The parliamentary Bell is already christened "Big Ben." As the
Vanes are generally set up to show how the wind blows; but the clapper remains without a name, may we be allowed to stand its
Brighton Vane has been put down to show that the wind from the I godfather, and call it " Gladstone," as without a doubt his is the
Horse Guards sets in the right direclon. j loudest tongue in Parliament ?
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
187
THE ALLIGATOR AT HOME!
_S KCBETA RY M ITCH ELL,
* of the Zoological Gar-
dens, to the great
disgust of the hippo-
potami, has received
a magnificent live
alligator, nearly fifteen
feet long, and pro-
digiously lively. _ Toe
animal has been visited
by a large circle of
rank and fashion.
Mr. Macgregob, of
the British Bank, and
"purely a West-end
man," with his com-
panion in advances,
Mr, Bbown, (>f Tew-
kesbury, lias attended
the alligator at feed-
ing-time, and even
both gentlemen have
expressed themselves
astonished at the
animal's power of
swallow. For our
own part, we think
that, as things re-
main, even the alligator is beaten by the constituents of Glasgow and Tewkesbury.
CONSEQUENCE OF A. ME BE PEAK.
We have to announce the abdication of the King of
the Mountain?, His Majesty Kanciiintinga, of the
Himalayas, in favour of a neighbouring potentate, " not
a hundred miles" from Katmandoo, and whose name we
are not at present at liberty to disclose, but who will
for the future assume the style and title of the Highest
Mountain in the World. Tbe alteration in the dynasty
has been brought about by the manoeuvres of Colonel
Waugh, Surveyor-General of India, who may himself
be said to be monarch of all he surveys; but, as he is
nothing of the kind, the saying so would be simply
absurd. _
AN UNREASONABLE GRUMBLER.
M. TrjRR complains of the Foreign Office for not
giving him a passport to Constantinople. Can't M.
Turk go to Constantinople by sea from Southampton ?
If he goes by land he may come witbin clutch of
Austria, and then !—
On the whole, we think M. Ttjrr ought rather to
say of himself, when Lord Clarendon prevents hiu>
from running his head into the wolf's jaws—"Felix
Ter et amplius,"
Answer to an Advebhsement.—" Do you double
up your Perambulators ? "—No, but Mr. Arnold has
done it, in dec'dir-g that they must not come upon
the foot-pavement.
THE LAND FOR THE LADIES.
lis tie King of Sweden's speech on the recent opening of the
Swedish Diet, the foilowibg remarkable passage occurs:—
" A just appreciation of the rights of women being a sure guarantee of her fidelity in
the fulfilment of her duties and of her mission in the family, it i-> my intention to pro-
pose to you that unmarried women shall be considered of age at 25, which is recognised
in nearly all the states of Europe."
Sweden is clearly the land for the ladies. There it appears that up
to what is here considered the tolerably ripe age of twenty-five, a girl
is supposed to be in her minority, or nonage; in short, as we say, of no
age at all. At thirty, we apprehend, she is still looked upon as quite
"a young thing;" and, at about fifty as being "in the prime of life."
"Fat, fair, and sixty," is piobably the formula which, in Sweden, is
expressive of fjemale maturity ; at seventy a damsel begins to be a little
passee, and at'eighty is considered to have attained to " a certain age.
TUliPIN EEDIYIVUS.
The good old times are comiiig back, those ancient days that saw
The famed Dick Turpin, Claude du Val, and Jebry Abebshaw,
At night we can no longer in inglorious safety roam,
Nor sleep in base security from housebreakers at hom?.
" Stand and deliver ! " is a cry which England had forgof,
But we have now a substitute for that in the garotte ;
And, if "Your money or your life! " i3 heard no more, instead,
A fellow with a life-preserver knocks you on the head.
A helmet he who walks by dark to don should have a care,
And a spiked collar round his neck, if prudent, he will wear,
A good revolver in his belt be well will do to stick,
Also to carry in his fist a cudgel strong and thick.
The wanderer by Jack Sheppard is at Shepherd's Rush waylaid,
And on the Green of Paddington the footpad plies his trade,
And Mr. Sykes familiarly denominated Bill,
The residents nocturnally alarms of JNotting Hill.
" Oh, where can the Police be ? " is the universal c;y,
And Echo answers only with her regular reply,
Whilst, for all that useful body, as they're said to be, of mm,
We might all as well be living in a lonely Highland glen.
The Soldiers have come back again, by reason of the Peace, how to preserve England.
And doubtless, in tbe kitchens, have supplanted the Police, ! ^ith a certain Duke the remedy for all the evils in Ecglaud was
And therefore the attention of the guardians of our fold Curry-powder.
With a certain Emperor the remedy for the evils of the English
Press would be Cayenae.
And these are your Friends ! !!
First Friend. I say, what do you think ? Young Rattlebrain was
in Spurgeon's Chapel last Sunda> !
Second Friend. Then he thought it was a Theatre, having heard
some one declare that his preachicg was "as good as a play ! "
Cannot wholly be concentrated on legs of mutton cold.
Awake, ye able-bodied men, in azure garb arrayed,
Arouse ye from your dalliance witn the stupid servant-maid ;
Bethink ye more of bioken heads, and less of broken meat,
That never was designed to be tbe object of your beat.
Let not old women's apple-stalls engross your manly rage,
Ticket-of-leave men rather should your vigilance engage ;
To you from them we look in vain our premises to guard,
Then what can you be thinking of, ye men of Scotland Yard?
One who Stands by Himself.
The " One Policeman of Herne Bay " has been solicited to join
his staff to that of the Unity Bank, and to allow himself to be nominated
its chairman, as it is considered tbat he must understand to a letter the
exact amount of strength that is supposed to lie in " Unity."
virtuous indignation.
Dr. Hale was casting his clerical eye the other day over the
advertisements, when, coming to the quack announcement, that in the
loudest brass heralds " 50,000 cures," he exclaimed, with sublime
contempt, "The Pluralist! ! !"
The Lady and the Bear.
A Canadian paper tells us how one Miss Philbbick set a trap for
a bear, and how the bear bodily carried the trap away. We have heard
of cases of worse fortune; in which a lady, in her idleness, not only set
a trap for a beast, but absolutely caught him.
"bell's news."
a new style op weathercock. The parliamentary Bell is already christened "Big Ben." As the
Vanes are generally set up to show how the wind blows; but the clapper remains without a name, may we be allowed to stand its
Brighton Vane has been put down to show that the wind from the I godfather, and call it " Gladstone," as without a doubt his is the
Horse Guards sets in the right direclon. j loudest tongue in Parliament ?