DOI Heft:
December 13, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0248
240
[December 13, 1856.
A MOST KILLING BAIT.
THE BORE OF RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.
What a nuisance, all paience destroying,
Is " Pop goes tlie Weasel" to hear!
'Tis a plague which is very annoying,
The infliction thereof is severe.
But of all infestations melodious,
Which onr musical faculties rue,
The most stupid, and senseless, and odious,
Is the sing-song of " Red, White, and Blue.''
All the wretches who go about grinding,
That drag on our feeling of time,
And prevent us our business from minding,
Should to justice be brought for the crime.
They force us our coffee to mingle,
And oblige us our bloater to chew,
To the swing of that pestilent jingle,
Whose burden is " Red, White, and Blue."
Servant-maids, who encourage the caitiffs
May disaster and grief c me upon,
And policemen who bid not the.-e natives
Of Italy's climes to move on:
Whilst we on our elbows are leaning
Our aching heads all the day through,
As we yawn at the silly, unmeaning,
Dull cadence of "Red, White, and Blue."
"Our Lady" in a Cloak.
The Queen or Spain signalised her birth-day by pre-
senting tne marvellous image of Montserrat with a cloak.
We hope it is not of the same >.ater'al and the same cut
as the cloak ordinarily used by Her Majesty ; for that can
hardly be said to cover a multitude of virtues.
exasperating!
We have the misfortune to be on speaking terms just now
with a married Cockney gentleman, who in jocular allusion
to the matrimonial noose, often talks of his wife as his
Halter ego.
A STAR BOILING OVER.
Wjb scarcely remember to have ever seen any respectable party in a j
gnatPi state of flabSersastarion thau the writer of some observations
in Mp. Coed en's Ru-so-Manchesteriau organ, the Morning Star, of
Thursday, December the founh. We roust really reproduce a portion
of his lemarks, for they are a psychological curiosity. Perfectly to
apprecia e their object, it should be understood that the Star desires,
in the interest of its proprietary, to excite as much pro-Russian feeling
as possible; and that it seeks to attain this aim by representing tne
Turks, on all occasions, as the most detestable creatures in tne world.
So an excitable party is set to rave as follows. We abstain from taki g
the liberty of injuring his grammar by bringing it into conformity wito
ordina y rule :—
" Is it true that which Mr. Thackeray says about the murder of two princes in
Turkey, by the order of their grandfather and uncle, the former being the late Sultan
of Turkey, and the latter the present Sultan ? Righteous God ! have we English
people been fighting for such b'oody monsters?"
Having thu^ proclaimed his discovery on which side England has
been fighting during the war, and his dissatisfaction with our champion-
ship of Turkey, the writer proceeds to object to the Queen's having sent
the Order of the Garter to the Padishan. He considers it most likely
that one morning, while Her Majesty wa* asking one of her nurses
what soit of a night Princess Alice bad passed, the Sultan was
occupied in putting a baby to death. Indeed, from the tenor of his
observations, the writer in the Star seems to think that babycide is the
habitual occupation of the Monarch of Turkey.
"What! a woman who is mother of a large family of children, each of whom, with-
out doubt, she lores as dearly as her own life, to ad.iress the terms 'dear and b-loved'
to a monster, who, in all probability was ordering the murder of an infant at the very
lnomrot she might have been expressing the most tender and maternal solicitude for
one ci ner own.
'I he Queen being thus delicately accused of making friends with a
murce.rer, her penny censor concludes by describing himself to be in
two curious conditions at the same moment. It is for medical men to
>onsioer how far the union of sickness and boiling is compatible with
■he Jaws of nature. The gentleman must know best what it is that
ne fe*-Js:
" I will say no more. 1 sicken, and my blood boils with indignation."
In which unhappy condition we must leave the rick boiler for the
presrnt; but we hope that the excitement be has gone through will
j not be productive of much ultimate harm to him. it will hurt nobody
else, that is quite certain.
ST. TAFFY FOR LONDON AND THE LONDONERS.
There are certain ancient. Bruons, living at " Llanfairmqthafar-
neithaf, Llanfihangel-nant-brane, Cambusnethan, Longformaeus, Llangris
tiolus, Tintwistle, Brynguran, Potperro, Bgloskerry, Kizziemuir, Twitchen,
Matocop, Chokey, Troon, Crook, Wix, Gad," and other places of like
melodious accent somewhere in Wales. Hitherto, in so far as we can
learn, none of these aborigines have ever been exhibited at the Egyptian
Hall. However, very recently they have done the best to expose
themselves. To which end, they hav<' petitioi ed Parliament against
the opening of the British Museum and National Gallery on the Sunday.
For the British Museum, so opened, could not but have the direst
effect on the morals of Llanfairmathafarneithaf, and for ever destroy
the primitive purity of Llanfihangel-nant-brane ! The Sunday League
has published a letter in answer to these wild folks; but as tne epistle
is written in English, the said League might as well have engaged a
bearded billy-goat to preach a homily to * bed of leeks. It is said that
! hese earnestly pious people do not dwell in houses; but, like the
Toglodytes of old, burrow in the ground. Neither do they cultivate
the earth; but live entirely by the chace, taking for subsistence, with
pepper and mustard, the native Welsh rabbit.
Persecution cf Cornet. Ames.
Tt is said that all means are being taken so to annoy the meek and
patient Cornet Ames—whose forbearance under Lord Vane Tem-
pest's more than word of mouth, would have done honour to the
mildest of Quakers—that the gentlest of gentlemen shall be compelled
to " sell out." Certainly, it must be embarrassing to the gallant
gentleman uow and then to command others to "right about face,"
seeing what be himself has pocketed f;om his own human countenance
divine.
[December 13, 1856.
A MOST KILLING BAIT.
THE BORE OF RED, WHITE, AND BLUE.
What a nuisance, all paience destroying,
Is " Pop goes tlie Weasel" to hear!
'Tis a plague which is very annoying,
The infliction thereof is severe.
But of all infestations melodious,
Which onr musical faculties rue,
The most stupid, and senseless, and odious,
Is the sing-song of " Red, White, and Blue.''
All the wretches who go about grinding,
That drag on our feeling of time,
And prevent us our business from minding,
Should to justice be brought for the crime.
They force us our coffee to mingle,
And oblige us our bloater to chew,
To the swing of that pestilent jingle,
Whose burden is " Red, White, and Blue."
Servant-maids, who encourage the caitiffs
May disaster and grief c me upon,
And policemen who bid not the.-e natives
Of Italy's climes to move on:
Whilst we on our elbows are leaning
Our aching heads all the day through,
As we yawn at the silly, unmeaning,
Dull cadence of "Red, White, and Blue."
"Our Lady" in a Cloak.
The Queen or Spain signalised her birth-day by pre-
senting tne marvellous image of Montserrat with a cloak.
We hope it is not of the same >.ater'al and the same cut
as the cloak ordinarily used by Her Majesty ; for that can
hardly be said to cover a multitude of virtues.
exasperating!
We have the misfortune to be on speaking terms just now
with a married Cockney gentleman, who in jocular allusion
to the matrimonial noose, often talks of his wife as his
Halter ego.
A STAR BOILING OVER.
Wjb scarcely remember to have ever seen any respectable party in a j
gnatPi state of flabSersastarion thau the writer of some observations
in Mp. Coed en's Ru-so-Manchesteriau organ, the Morning Star, of
Thursday, December the founh. We roust really reproduce a portion
of his lemarks, for they are a psychological curiosity. Perfectly to
apprecia e their object, it should be understood that the Star desires,
in the interest of its proprietary, to excite as much pro-Russian feeling
as possible; and that it seeks to attain this aim by representing tne
Turks, on all occasions, as the most detestable creatures in tne world.
So an excitable party is set to rave as follows. We abstain from taki g
the liberty of injuring his grammar by bringing it into conformity wito
ordina y rule :—
" Is it true that which Mr. Thackeray says about the murder of two princes in
Turkey, by the order of their grandfather and uncle, the former being the late Sultan
of Turkey, and the latter the present Sultan ? Righteous God ! have we English
people been fighting for such b'oody monsters?"
Having thu^ proclaimed his discovery on which side England has
been fighting during the war, and his dissatisfaction with our champion-
ship of Turkey, the writer proceeds to object to the Queen's having sent
the Order of the Garter to the Padishan. He considers it most likely
that one morning, while Her Majesty wa* asking one of her nurses
what soit of a night Princess Alice bad passed, the Sultan was
occupied in putting a baby to death. Indeed, from the tenor of his
observations, the writer in the Star seems to think that babycide is the
habitual occupation of the Monarch of Turkey.
"What! a woman who is mother of a large family of children, each of whom, with-
out doubt, she lores as dearly as her own life, to ad.iress the terms 'dear and b-loved'
to a monster, who, in all probability was ordering the murder of an infant at the very
lnomrot she might have been expressing the most tender and maternal solicitude for
one ci ner own.
'I he Queen being thus delicately accused of making friends with a
murce.rer, her penny censor concludes by describing himself to be in
two curious conditions at the same moment. It is for medical men to
>onsioer how far the union of sickness and boiling is compatible with
■he Jaws of nature. The gentleman must know best what it is that
ne fe*-Js:
" I will say no more. 1 sicken, and my blood boils with indignation."
In which unhappy condition we must leave the rick boiler for the
presrnt; but we hope that the excitement be has gone through will
j not be productive of much ultimate harm to him. it will hurt nobody
else, that is quite certain.
ST. TAFFY FOR LONDON AND THE LONDONERS.
There are certain ancient. Bruons, living at " Llanfairmqthafar-
neithaf, Llanfihangel-nant-brane, Cambusnethan, Longformaeus, Llangris
tiolus, Tintwistle, Brynguran, Potperro, Bgloskerry, Kizziemuir, Twitchen,
Matocop, Chokey, Troon, Crook, Wix, Gad," and other places of like
melodious accent somewhere in Wales. Hitherto, in so far as we can
learn, none of these aborigines have ever been exhibited at the Egyptian
Hall. However, very recently they have done the best to expose
themselves. To which end, they hav<' petitioi ed Parliament against
the opening of the British Museum and National Gallery on the Sunday.
For the British Museum, so opened, could not but have the direst
effect on the morals of Llanfairmathafarneithaf, and for ever destroy
the primitive purity of Llanfihangel-nant-brane ! The Sunday League
has published a letter in answer to these wild folks; but as tne epistle
is written in English, the said League might as well have engaged a
bearded billy-goat to preach a homily to * bed of leeks. It is said that
! hese earnestly pious people do not dwell in houses; but, like the
Toglodytes of old, burrow in the ground. Neither do they cultivate
the earth; but live entirely by the chace, taking for subsistence, with
pepper and mustard, the native Welsh rabbit.
Persecution cf Cornet. Ames.
Tt is said that all means are being taken so to annoy the meek and
patient Cornet Ames—whose forbearance under Lord Vane Tem-
pest's more than word of mouth, would have done honour to the
mildest of Quakers—that the gentlest of gentlemen shall be compelled
to " sell out." Certainly, it must be embarrassing to the gallant
gentleman uow and then to command others to "right about face,"
seeing what be himself has pocketed f;om his own human countenance
divine.