DOI Heft:
December 27, 1856
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16618#0262
25i PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 27, 1E56.
WAITS.
The Waits this Christmas a*e as numerous as usual: but
as the 'bus conductor said of ladies in lull dress, we have
only loom for one or two of them. For instance, then—
The Russian Government waits—with its duplicate Bol-
grads, to try and "come the double" over us.
The King of Prussia waits—for a slice of Neufchatel,
if they won't give him the whole of it.
Louis Napoleon waits—a little longer for that gooa
time coming, when he hopes to hold the Scissorship of the
British press.
King Bomba waits—to see if the divinity that "doth
hedge a king " be a fence against stilettos.
Lord John Bussell waits—to turn over a new leaf,
and perhaps a strawberry one.
The Conservative small party wait—for a nice young
Coming Man, who can " give them the office" as to how
tbey may get into it.
The British Museum readers wait—for the day (before
Doomsday) when the Catalogue will be published.
The unprotected British Public wait—to be guaranteed
against garot'iug, and to see the last of the small profits
that have attended the early returns of the ticket-of-'eave
Convicts.
The Ratepayers of London wait—upon the Board ot
Words, for an answer to the newage question, which
appears at present only to be talked of.
Sir Charles Napier waits—to embrace every opportu-
niy for" writinghimself down" in the opinion of the public.
And, finally, the Russian diplomatists wait—for the
Spring, which may enable them to see which way the
Persian cat will jump.
A PAINFUL SUBJECT.
Lieutenant Fopson (of the 121st, to his Elder Brother, who is home for the Holidays).
—" A-say, old Fellah !—Don't you wish tou had left School ?—It must be
such a Horrid Baw to be Flogged for Smoking !"
A Mere Surmise.
A Continental Journal states tnat Milano, the soldier
wno missed the heart of King Bomba (his Majesty's
subjects have done so for some years) had formerly been
in tne diplomatic service. We believe tiiis is simply a
guess, prompted, naturally enough, by the fact that he
blundered his work. The writer should remember that
diplomacy Sticks at nothing contemptible.
One Good Turn for Anotheb.—During the W7ar we
threatened, but could not get at, St. Petersburg. On the
other hand, the Czah, in the proposal of his railway scheme,
Las made an abortive attempt on our own capital.
A bHOKT WAY WITH TICKET8-OIVLEAVE.
In this time of terror, wi^, at least, a hundred thousand affectionate
wives beset by nightly auxiety deepening into terror as the naif-hours
pass and their husbands do not come home,—let no proposition be
scoffingly rtceivtd and contemptuously dismissed, that shall provide
aa-amst the ravages of the social dragon of the hour, Ticketofleave.
We therefore unhesitatingly publish the pioposition of a most respect-
able, most affable elderly gentlewoman; a proposition which, growing
eloquent, the other afternoon over her tea and muffins, she pronounced
as showing the only certain means of safely and comfortably providing
for all ticket-of-leave men.
In a word, our amiable gentlewoman proposes to billet all ticket-of-
leave men upon the ministers of theChuich. And, truly, there is
something very deserving of respectful attention in the notion.
The gentlewoman sets out with a flattering description of the
functions of all ministers of the Established Church. She asks—Are
they not the real curers of souls ? As Christian teachers and admo-
nishers, who so fit to teach and admonish the ticket-of-leave man ; and
by daily precept and daily example, to bring him from the cooked
path unto the straight one ?
The gentlewoman does not profess to know either the statistics of
the Established Chmch. or of the institution of Ticket-of-Leave; but
has a lively confidence that, with very little expense to the state, the
erring sheep might be so allotted among the shepherds, that not one
wanderer might remain untended.
The gentlewoman proposes to begin by allotting, say one hundred
ticket-ot-leave men to the care of each of the arcbbisnops. With the
vast estates ot either see, there would be ample accommodation, she
To every bishop sbe would assign from thirty to forty Tickets-of-
Leave, according to the income of tne bishop seltcled.
To every dean so maDy Tickets-of-Leave; so many Tickets-of-Leave
to every prebend; and so down to vicais, rectors, and at length to
country curates, who should receive a certain stipend fiom the state
for every Ticket.
The amiable gentlewoman expressed herself very hopefully ou the
result of her pioposition, if fairly put into practice; and reserving his
own opinion whether the Bench of Bishops would altogether agieein
the wisdom of the old lady's suggestion, Air. Punch, promised to put it
into print, and has done so.
BLACK AND WHITE SAVAGhS.
Dr. Livingstone, the African mi-sionary and traveller, has
encountered great perils in Central Africa; but we apprehend that
these would be much exceeded by the danger he would incur if he were
to attempt to explore the Southern States of Ame'ica. He relates
that the natives of the former region expressed their vague idea 'hat he
was an Englishman by saying, "Oh, we know who you are ; you belong
to the tribe that loves toe black man." This, of course, was a very
excellent character to bear amoDg the Central Africans; but among
trie American savages it would probably draw ou the bearer the bead
of the revolver, brag the point of the bowie-knife, and superinduce the
uncomfortable investment of tar and feathers.
Conversation in Chancery Lane
verily believes, for the unfortunates; whose labour might be made Lull Youth 1 sav what's a Leeal TWst P
t^^T^^^ll^ f %)\rn mUSti h^ 1 Bn^ YouiA feoff Cfptt of the legal course-for
materialI gSdians ^ MuenCe °f thelr spmtual aLd i l™^' barrister, after he has eaterthis Terms, baf to go through
his Digest!
WAITS.
The Waits this Christmas a*e as numerous as usual: but
as the 'bus conductor said of ladies in lull dress, we have
only loom for one or two of them. For instance, then—
The Russian Government waits—with its duplicate Bol-
grads, to try and "come the double" over us.
The King of Prussia waits—for a slice of Neufchatel,
if they won't give him the whole of it.
Louis Napoleon waits—a little longer for that gooa
time coming, when he hopes to hold the Scissorship of the
British press.
King Bomba waits—to see if the divinity that "doth
hedge a king " be a fence against stilettos.
Lord John Bussell waits—to turn over a new leaf,
and perhaps a strawberry one.
The Conservative small party wait—for a nice young
Coming Man, who can " give them the office" as to how
tbey may get into it.
The British Museum readers wait—for the day (before
Doomsday) when the Catalogue will be published.
The unprotected British Public wait—to be guaranteed
against garot'iug, and to see the last of the small profits
that have attended the early returns of the ticket-of-'eave
Convicts.
The Ratepayers of London wait—upon the Board ot
Words, for an answer to the newage question, which
appears at present only to be talked of.
Sir Charles Napier waits—to embrace every opportu-
niy for" writinghimself down" in the opinion of the public.
And, finally, the Russian diplomatists wait—for the
Spring, which may enable them to see which way the
Persian cat will jump.
A PAINFUL SUBJECT.
Lieutenant Fopson (of the 121st, to his Elder Brother, who is home for the Holidays).
—" A-say, old Fellah !—Don't you wish tou had left School ?—It must be
such a Horrid Baw to be Flogged for Smoking !"
A Mere Surmise.
A Continental Journal states tnat Milano, the soldier
wno missed the heart of King Bomba (his Majesty's
subjects have done so for some years) had formerly been
in tne diplomatic service. We believe tiiis is simply a
guess, prompted, naturally enough, by the fact that he
blundered his work. The writer should remember that
diplomacy Sticks at nothing contemptible.
One Good Turn for Anotheb.—During the W7ar we
threatened, but could not get at, St. Petersburg. On the
other hand, the Czah, in the proposal of his railway scheme,
Las made an abortive attempt on our own capital.
A bHOKT WAY WITH TICKET8-OIVLEAVE.
In this time of terror, wi^, at least, a hundred thousand affectionate
wives beset by nightly auxiety deepening into terror as the naif-hours
pass and their husbands do not come home,—let no proposition be
scoffingly rtceivtd and contemptuously dismissed, that shall provide
aa-amst the ravages of the social dragon of the hour, Ticketofleave.
We therefore unhesitatingly publish the pioposition of a most respect-
able, most affable elderly gentlewoman; a proposition which, growing
eloquent, the other afternoon over her tea and muffins, she pronounced
as showing the only certain means of safely and comfortably providing
for all ticket-of-leave men.
In a word, our amiable gentlewoman proposes to billet all ticket-of-
leave men upon the ministers of theChuich. And, truly, there is
something very deserving of respectful attention in the notion.
The gentlewoman sets out with a flattering description of the
functions of all ministers of the Established Church. She asks—Are
they not the real curers of souls ? As Christian teachers and admo-
nishers, who so fit to teach and admonish the ticket-of-leave man ; and
by daily precept and daily example, to bring him from the cooked
path unto the straight one ?
The gentlewoman does not profess to know either the statistics of
the Established Chmch. or of the institution of Ticket-of-Leave; but
has a lively confidence that, with very little expense to the state, the
erring sheep might be so allotted among the shepherds, that not one
wanderer might remain untended.
The gentlewoman proposes to begin by allotting, say one hundred
ticket-ot-leave men to the care of each of the arcbbisnops. With the
vast estates ot either see, there would be ample accommodation, she
To every bishop sbe would assign from thirty to forty Tickets-of-
Leave, according to the income of tne bishop seltcled.
To every dean so maDy Tickets-of-Leave; so many Tickets-of-Leave
to every prebend; and so down to vicais, rectors, and at length to
country curates, who should receive a certain stipend fiom the state
for every Ticket.
The amiable gentlewoman expressed herself very hopefully ou the
result of her pioposition, if fairly put into practice; and reserving his
own opinion whether the Bench of Bishops would altogether agieein
the wisdom of the old lady's suggestion, Air. Punch, promised to put it
into print, and has done so.
BLACK AND WHITE SAVAGhS.
Dr. Livingstone, the African mi-sionary and traveller, has
encountered great perils in Central Africa; but we apprehend that
these would be much exceeded by the danger he would incur if he were
to attempt to explore the Southern States of Ame'ica. He relates
that the natives of the former region expressed their vague idea 'hat he
was an Englishman by saying, "Oh, we know who you are ; you belong
to the tribe that loves toe black man." This, of course, was a very
excellent character to bear amoDg the Central Africans; but among
trie American savages it would probably draw ou the bearer the bead
of the revolver, brag the point of the bowie-knife, and superinduce the
uncomfortable investment of tar and feathers.
Conversation in Chancery Lane
verily believes, for the unfortunates; whose labour might be made Lull Youth 1 sav what's a Leeal TWst P
t^^T^^^ll^ f %)\rn mUSti h^ 1 Bn^ YouiA feoff Cfptt of the legal course-for
materialI gSdians ^ MuenCe °f thelr spmtual aLd i l™^' barrister, after he has eaterthis Terms, baf to go through
his Digest!