DOI issue:
January 26, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0042
34
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
L
January 20. 1S61
PAUL PLY IN THE PULPIT.
On the whole Mr. Punch can hardly be considered as
the most devoted son of the Roman Catholic Church, but
he begs to say that with all the errors of the Scarlet Lady,
she has one point of honour. Many of her priests doubt-
less make a very bad use of Confessional Secrets; but they
do not get up into pulpits and proclaim the private cha-
racters and past sins of those who trust them. That delicate
method of doing good is reserved for the Baptists. Here
is a scrap from the Marylebone Alercury, Jan. 19:—
‘ TIIE REV. 0. H. SPURGEON AT SHOULDHAM STREET
CHAPEL, BRYANSTON SQUARE.
‘:The Rev. C. H. Spurgeon preached at this Chapel on Wednesday
morning to an audience occupying every portion of the edifice. His
object was to collect money for the building fuud of the Metropolitau
Tabernacle.”
We need not trouble our readers with the details of his
sermon, but will merely say that he preached the red-hottest
of doctrines.
“ Mr. Spurgeon then spoke of the great effects of the revival, and
said that at least 500 out of his 1,600 members were a few years ago
traviatas (he used an uglier word), drunkards, &c. Mr. Spurgeon
then alluded to his tabernacle, and said the cost of it was £30,000,
towards which he had received £26,000, leaving £4,000 to be raised
by 31st March next: how he did not know, but, &c. &c.”
Suppose he tries Hush-Money. A good many people
might like to stand a trifle towards his hideous new taber-
nacle, rather than be labelled in this manner. Decidedly
the priests of Rome behave more like gentlemen and
Christians than the anything but particular Baptists.
THE GUARDS’ MONUMENT—GOVERNMENT NOTION OF A BECOMING
WINTER COSTUME FOR LADIES.
Birds of a Feather.
The Manchester Guardian, as a proof of the severity
of the late weather, relates the capture of a fine jack-snipe
“in the very heart of Manchester ; ” within the warehouse
of Messrs. Bannerman Sc Sons, York Street. Most people
would take care to eat every snipe they could get; but our
Manchester contemporary says that the captor of this one,
instead of appropriating it to stuff himself withal, intends
to have it stuffed, “in order to commemorate the fact of
the intense frost.” He will then perhaps make a present of
it to some society; and as the snipe that settled in a Man-
chester warehouse, must be an oddity in its way, be may
probably be disposed to tender this strange bird to the
Odd Fellows of the Manchester Unity,
PUBLICANS AND SINNERS.
At first thought, the connection between sewerage and beer will
doubtless be regarded as anything but obvious; and the reader may
be puzzled by learning from the Times that the Commissioners ot
Sewers held a meeting the other day, whereat, after other business had
been brought before them, Dr. Letheby introduced his quarterly
report, containing information of much interest to the public, and
among it the following, relating to the “ publics : ”—
“ In some cases of adulteration the practice of it has a far more extensive relation
to the aff airs of the community than at first sight appears. To take the sophistica-
tion of beer and porter as an instance, it is well known that the publicans, almost
without exception, reduce their liquors with water after they are received from the
brewer. The proportion in which this is added to the beer at the better class of
houses is nine gallons per puncheon, and in second-rate establishments the quan-
tity of water is doubled. This must be compensated for by the addition of ingre-
dients which give the appearance of strength, and a mixture is openly sold for the
purpose. The composition of it varies in different cases; for each expert has his
own particular nostrum. The chief ingredients, however, are a saccharine body, as
foots and liquorice to sweeten it; a bitter principle, as gentian, quassia, sumach,
and terra japonica, to give astringency; a thickening material, as linseed, to give
body; a colouring matter, as burnt sugar, to darken it; cocculus indicus, to give a
false strength; and common salt, capsicum, copperas, and Dantzic spruce, to pro-
duce a head, as well as to impart certain refinements of flavour. In the ease of ale,
its apparent strength is restored with bitters and sugar-candy.”
This somewhat explains the puzzle we began with. When we find
that beer is doctored with such beastliness, we can scarcely feel sur-
prised at its being viewed as something to be brought before the nose
of the Commissioners of Sewers. A mixture of quassia, sumach, lin-
seed, capsicum, copperas, and cocculus indicus, is much more fit to
flow down drains than down the human throat, and far more deserves
the name of sewerage than stimulant.
With such evidence as Dr. Letheby brings before us, we seem to
understand a bit of slang one hears where cabmen mostly congregate,
and apostrophise their chums with, “Now then, Bill, let’s ’ave a
Drain ! ” It is certainly enough to make one turn teetotaller when one
hears what noxious stuff is sold to one as beer, and how the publicans
conspire to make a cesspool of one’s stomach. Surely converts to the
water faith might easily be gained by any lecturer who chose to travel
through the country, and to illustrate his lecture with some water-
colour drawings showing the horrors that are drinkable in a drop of
beer.
But besides injuring one’s person, as capsicum and copperas cer-
tainly must do, it is easily made clear that they must hurt one’s pocket,
unless indeed one lives without having to pay taxes, which few readers
of Punch, we fear, are so favoured as to do. Says Dr. Letheby on this
point:—
“ Apart from the question of how much injury is done to the health of the con-
sumer by this practice, or how large is the fraud on the pocket of the purchaser, it
is a matter of interest to know what is the effect of it on the revenue. There
are, I believe, about 6,200 publicans and beer retailers in this metropolis. Supposing
that each, on an average, has a sale for only six barrels of beer and porter per week,
and that the degree of dilution is but to the extent of five gallons of water per barrel,
in the aggregate there would have been used 136,000 gallons of water per week.
This, if properly and honestly brewed into beer, would have required about 1,722
quarters of malt; and as each quarter of malt pays a duty of 22s. 6d. to the revenue,
there is a fraud of rather more than £1,937 sterling per week, or nearly £100,800
per annum.”
So, besides swindling their customers and half-poisoning them to
boot, by giving them bad doctor’s stuff when they ask for beer, the
adulterating publicans cheat the public into paying above £100,000 per
annum more taxes than they ought to pay. Well, now we know that
selling beer is such a fraudulent transaction, we shall abstain as much
as possible from giving it encouragement. We have no wish to assist
the trade of inland smuggling in which so many of onr innkeepers, it
seems, are now engaged; and as we don’t want to commit suicide, we
shall rigidly observe a total abstinence from beer, excepting when we
get it from the brewery direct.
All Souls in a Nut Shell.
Punch litem dat. Give o’er your strains,
Nor swear like angry cats ;
The Dons are right to banish brains,
For All Soles must be Fiats.
FOR COLNEY HATCH.
Who is the most melancholy of young ladies ? Miss-Ann-Throfe.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
L
January 20. 1S61
PAUL PLY IN THE PULPIT.
On the whole Mr. Punch can hardly be considered as
the most devoted son of the Roman Catholic Church, but
he begs to say that with all the errors of the Scarlet Lady,
she has one point of honour. Many of her priests doubt-
less make a very bad use of Confessional Secrets; but they
do not get up into pulpits and proclaim the private cha-
racters and past sins of those who trust them. That delicate
method of doing good is reserved for the Baptists. Here
is a scrap from the Marylebone Alercury, Jan. 19:—
‘ TIIE REV. 0. H. SPURGEON AT SHOULDHAM STREET
CHAPEL, BRYANSTON SQUARE.
‘:The Rev. C. H. Spurgeon preached at this Chapel on Wednesday
morning to an audience occupying every portion of the edifice. His
object was to collect money for the building fuud of the Metropolitau
Tabernacle.”
We need not trouble our readers with the details of his
sermon, but will merely say that he preached the red-hottest
of doctrines.
“ Mr. Spurgeon then spoke of the great effects of the revival, and
said that at least 500 out of his 1,600 members were a few years ago
traviatas (he used an uglier word), drunkards, &c. Mr. Spurgeon
then alluded to his tabernacle, and said the cost of it was £30,000,
towards which he had received £26,000, leaving £4,000 to be raised
by 31st March next: how he did not know, but, &c. &c.”
Suppose he tries Hush-Money. A good many people
might like to stand a trifle towards his hideous new taber-
nacle, rather than be labelled in this manner. Decidedly
the priests of Rome behave more like gentlemen and
Christians than the anything but particular Baptists.
THE GUARDS’ MONUMENT—GOVERNMENT NOTION OF A BECOMING
WINTER COSTUME FOR LADIES.
Birds of a Feather.
The Manchester Guardian, as a proof of the severity
of the late weather, relates the capture of a fine jack-snipe
“in the very heart of Manchester ; ” within the warehouse
of Messrs. Bannerman Sc Sons, York Street. Most people
would take care to eat every snipe they could get; but our
Manchester contemporary says that the captor of this one,
instead of appropriating it to stuff himself withal, intends
to have it stuffed, “in order to commemorate the fact of
the intense frost.” He will then perhaps make a present of
it to some society; and as the snipe that settled in a Man-
chester warehouse, must be an oddity in its way, be may
probably be disposed to tender this strange bird to the
Odd Fellows of the Manchester Unity,
PUBLICANS AND SINNERS.
At first thought, the connection between sewerage and beer will
doubtless be regarded as anything but obvious; and the reader may
be puzzled by learning from the Times that the Commissioners ot
Sewers held a meeting the other day, whereat, after other business had
been brought before them, Dr. Letheby introduced his quarterly
report, containing information of much interest to the public, and
among it the following, relating to the “ publics : ”—
“ In some cases of adulteration the practice of it has a far more extensive relation
to the aff airs of the community than at first sight appears. To take the sophistica-
tion of beer and porter as an instance, it is well known that the publicans, almost
without exception, reduce their liquors with water after they are received from the
brewer. The proportion in which this is added to the beer at the better class of
houses is nine gallons per puncheon, and in second-rate establishments the quan-
tity of water is doubled. This must be compensated for by the addition of ingre-
dients which give the appearance of strength, and a mixture is openly sold for the
purpose. The composition of it varies in different cases; for each expert has his
own particular nostrum. The chief ingredients, however, are a saccharine body, as
foots and liquorice to sweeten it; a bitter principle, as gentian, quassia, sumach,
and terra japonica, to give astringency; a thickening material, as linseed, to give
body; a colouring matter, as burnt sugar, to darken it; cocculus indicus, to give a
false strength; and common salt, capsicum, copperas, and Dantzic spruce, to pro-
duce a head, as well as to impart certain refinements of flavour. In the ease of ale,
its apparent strength is restored with bitters and sugar-candy.”
This somewhat explains the puzzle we began with. When we find
that beer is doctored with such beastliness, we can scarcely feel sur-
prised at its being viewed as something to be brought before the nose
of the Commissioners of Sewers. A mixture of quassia, sumach, lin-
seed, capsicum, copperas, and cocculus indicus, is much more fit to
flow down drains than down the human throat, and far more deserves
the name of sewerage than stimulant.
With such evidence as Dr. Letheby brings before us, we seem to
understand a bit of slang one hears where cabmen mostly congregate,
and apostrophise their chums with, “Now then, Bill, let’s ’ave a
Drain ! ” It is certainly enough to make one turn teetotaller when one
hears what noxious stuff is sold to one as beer, and how the publicans
conspire to make a cesspool of one’s stomach. Surely converts to the
water faith might easily be gained by any lecturer who chose to travel
through the country, and to illustrate his lecture with some water-
colour drawings showing the horrors that are drinkable in a drop of
beer.
But besides injuring one’s person, as capsicum and copperas cer-
tainly must do, it is easily made clear that they must hurt one’s pocket,
unless indeed one lives without having to pay taxes, which few readers
of Punch, we fear, are so favoured as to do. Says Dr. Letheby on this
point:—
“ Apart from the question of how much injury is done to the health of the con-
sumer by this practice, or how large is the fraud on the pocket of the purchaser, it
is a matter of interest to know what is the effect of it on the revenue. There
are, I believe, about 6,200 publicans and beer retailers in this metropolis. Supposing
that each, on an average, has a sale for only six barrels of beer and porter per week,
and that the degree of dilution is but to the extent of five gallons of water per barrel,
in the aggregate there would have been used 136,000 gallons of water per week.
This, if properly and honestly brewed into beer, would have required about 1,722
quarters of malt; and as each quarter of malt pays a duty of 22s. 6d. to the revenue,
there is a fraud of rather more than £1,937 sterling per week, or nearly £100,800
per annum.”
So, besides swindling their customers and half-poisoning them to
boot, by giving them bad doctor’s stuff when they ask for beer, the
adulterating publicans cheat the public into paying above £100,000 per
annum more taxes than they ought to pay. Well, now we know that
selling beer is such a fraudulent transaction, we shall abstain as much
as possible from giving it encouragement. We have no wish to assist
the trade of inland smuggling in which so many of onr innkeepers, it
seems, are now engaged; and as we don’t want to commit suicide, we
shall rigidly observe a total abstinence from beer, excepting when we
get it from the brewery direct.
All Souls in a Nut Shell.
Punch litem dat. Give o’er your strains,
Nor swear like angry cats ;
The Dons are right to banish brains,
For All Soles must be Fiats.
FOR COLNEY HATCH.
Who is the most melancholy of young ladies ? Miss-Ann-Throfe.