DOI issue:
January 26, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0043
January 26, 1861.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
35
A QUERY FOR THE ARMY.
ell you, dear Mr. Punch,
allow me a few lines in
your world-celebrated
and highly respectable
Journal—you perceive
I _ comprehend the
politeness due to a
newspaper ?
“There is really, of
course, no Figure of
Merit but your own,
but the Duke of Cam-
bridge, in his zeal for
the Army, may be
pardoned for having
adopted the phrase, in
order to imply a stan-
dard of good shooting
with the rifle.
“H. E,. H. has just
published, very pro-
perly, an account of
the shooting which our
soldiers have performed
during the past year,
and has shown the re-
spective merit of each
regiment. I am not
going to say who are at
the top of the class,
and who are at the
bottom, but I do want
to ask a question.
“I perceive no men-
tion of any of our
regular Riflemen (I
mean the old dark
green boys who were
supposed to be such wonderful shots, and who have been practising all the days of their
military life) until I come to Number 29 on the list. Then one Rifle regiment gets a good
mark; and ever so far down again I see another.
regiments can learn to shoot better than a
twenty-ninth, which has been shooting at marks
all its life ?
“I thought of writing this letter to the
Times, but I am a timid inquirer, and I was
terrified at the thought of the tremendous
answers that would have been showered upon
me by. military men, to the disturbance of my
digestion at breakfast. . I should infallibly have
read, ‘ If an ass of a civilian like Creepmouse
insists on minding other people’s business
instead of his own, he should at least take the
trouble to inform himself on the subject, and
not make a display of disgusting ignorance,
when any drummer boy could tell the fool that,
&c._, &c., &c., but happily the Rifle Regiments,
which conquered at Poictiers, Blenheim, Water-
loo, &c., &c., &c., stand too high to heed the
impertinent imputations of some unknown
tallow-chandler,’ &e. &c. You, Mr. Punch, will
protect me from this sort of thing, and if you
can, please to obtain me an answer to the
question,
“Why the Riflemen can’t shoot?
“I am, Sir, yours most deferentially,
“ Stilton Villa: Cheshire.” Creepmouse.”
their
“Please, Sir, how is this? Were the old Rifles a sham, or have the officers neglected
eir duties, or is the new system of teaching so good that in a short time twenty-eight
SEASONABLE ADVICE.
BY A FROZEN-OUT GARDENER.
Now weed your wardrobes and rake up your
old clothes. Gather all your left-off coats and
other garments in a heap, and then sow them
broadcast among your poorer neighbours. Plant
out your old boots, and prune down your spare
linen. Well winnow your lumber closets, and
collect all the old hats and caps, and railway rugs
and comforters which you may find garnered
there. Sow broadcast as before, choosing out the
soil that, you think hungriest and poorest.
By acting in this way, Charity may cover a
multitude of skins, without being herself a penny
out of pocket by it.
[Advertisement.]
THE NEW PERIODICAL.
ANOTHER VOLUME OF THE CABINET LIBRARY.
MESSRS. PALMERSTON, RUSSELL, & Co., have the honour to
announce that early in March, will (unless accident intervene) he
Published, No. V. of the unpopular Periodical,
THE REFORM BILL:
OR THE POLITICAL OLLA PODRIDA FOR 1861.
With, the following Contributions by eminent Persons :
I. .
II.
III.
EXTENSION OF THE SUFFRAGE. By the Lord John Russell.
RESTRICTION OF THE SUFFEAGE. By the Lord Herbert or Lea.
RIGHT OF THE UNTAXED TO CONTROL TAXATION. By W. E. Glad-
stone, Esq.
FANCY VOTES FOR POETS AND MUSICIANS. By the Lord Carlisle.
UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE. By the Right Hon. Milner Gibson.
“WHO IS ON EXETER HALL’S SIDE, WHO?” By the Lord Shaftes-
bury, D.D.
LET PHILOSOPHERS GOVERN. By Sir G. C. Lewis.
JUSTICE TO OIRELAND. By The O’Haqan.
VOX LEGIS VOX SAPIENT!®. By the Lord Campbell.
X. THE FOK’SLE AND THE HUSTINGS. By Lord Clarence Paget.
XI. RIGHTS OF THE PEOPLE CALLED RANTERS. By Sir W. Atherton.
XII. CIVIL SERVANTS AND POLITE MASTERS. By the Duke or Somerset.
XIII. THE SOFA, OR SHOULD WOMAN VOTE ? By William Cowper, Esq.
XIV. ALL THINGS MADE PLEASANT. By the Lord Palmerston.
IV.
V.
VI.
VII.
VIII.
IX.
New Palace, Westminster, S.W.
DONE IN A MELTING MOMENT.
SNOBS AND SQUIBS.
Bull-baiting and Cock-fighting Lave ceased to hold a place among
our national amusements, but something like a taste for cruelty still
lingers in our mobs, as the following description of a night-scene on
the Serpentine last week will amply testify:—■
“ The scene was altogether of a most exciting character. An immense number
of serpents were ignited and thrown upon 1-he banks among the public, and as they
exploded and the sparks flew about, especially among the women, the scene became
fearful, and upwards of twenty women were more or less burnt. The sham fight
was carried on, one party firing from the north shore, another from the south ; but,
eventually, both parties commenced the medley attack, and fireworks were thrown
indiscriminately about, and many persons were injured. A woman named Phckbk
Hope had her clothes set on fire, and she was so badly iujured that she was taken
to her residence in Carlton Street, Vauxhall.”
Of course people may say, what business have women to go out after
dark, and mix in a night-mob of chimney-sweeps and costermongers !
But were chimney-sweeps and costermongers the only roughs there
present ? Did not gents and counter-jumpers play a part too in the
farce, which we fancy must have nearly been turned into a tragedy ?
Were there none of the so-reckoned “educated classes” who let off
squibs and roman candles without looking who were near them, or if
they looked, perhaps picked out a place for the discharge where Crino-
line did mostly congregate? Of course their plea would be, that they
did it “for a lark,” and had no intention to injure anybody. But is
this plea, do you think, a reasonable excuse for frightening women
into fits, and burning upwards of a score of them? And if persons
don’t know better how they should conduct ihemselves when there are
women present, don’t you think it reasonable that they ought to be
taught, albe't they belong to the “educated classes”?
.Why is Ice in a thaw like Philanthropy?
directions.
The Ribbon Conspiracy.
TUe never like to be rude to good folk, but just now we should feel
inclined to send all charitable souls to Coventry ; and although a firm
friend of “ peace, Jaw, and order,” we should not object to see Rib-
Because it gives in all j bonism in the ascendency in England. Hats off, Ladies, and bonnets
to the rescue !
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
35
A QUERY FOR THE ARMY.
ell you, dear Mr. Punch,
allow me a few lines in
your world-celebrated
and highly respectable
Journal—you perceive
I _ comprehend the
politeness due to a
newspaper ?
“There is really, of
course, no Figure of
Merit but your own,
but the Duke of Cam-
bridge, in his zeal for
the Army, may be
pardoned for having
adopted the phrase, in
order to imply a stan-
dard of good shooting
with the rifle.
“H. E,. H. has just
published, very pro-
perly, an account of
the shooting which our
soldiers have performed
during the past year,
and has shown the re-
spective merit of each
regiment. I am not
going to say who are at
the top of the class,
and who are at the
bottom, but I do want
to ask a question.
“I perceive no men-
tion of any of our
regular Riflemen (I
mean the old dark
green boys who were
supposed to be such wonderful shots, and who have been practising all the days of their
military life) until I come to Number 29 on the list. Then one Rifle regiment gets a good
mark; and ever so far down again I see another.
regiments can learn to shoot better than a
twenty-ninth, which has been shooting at marks
all its life ?
“I thought of writing this letter to the
Times, but I am a timid inquirer, and I was
terrified at the thought of the tremendous
answers that would have been showered upon
me by. military men, to the disturbance of my
digestion at breakfast. . I should infallibly have
read, ‘ If an ass of a civilian like Creepmouse
insists on minding other people’s business
instead of his own, he should at least take the
trouble to inform himself on the subject, and
not make a display of disgusting ignorance,
when any drummer boy could tell the fool that,
&c._, &c., &c., but happily the Rifle Regiments,
which conquered at Poictiers, Blenheim, Water-
loo, &c., &c., &c., stand too high to heed the
impertinent imputations of some unknown
tallow-chandler,’ &e. &c. You, Mr. Punch, will
protect me from this sort of thing, and if you
can, please to obtain me an answer to the
question,
“Why the Riflemen can’t shoot?
“I am, Sir, yours most deferentially,
“ Stilton Villa: Cheshire.” Creepmouse.”
their
“Please, Sir, how is this? Were the old Rifles a sham, or have the officers neglected
eir duties, or is the new system of teaching so good that in a short time twenty-eight
SEASONABLE ADVICE.
BY A FROZEN-OUT GARDENER.
Now weed your wardrobes and rake up your
old clothes. Gather all your left-off coats and
other garments in a heap, and then sow them
broadcast among your poorer neighbours. Plant
out your old boots, and prune down your spare
linen. Well winnow your lumber closets, and
collect all the old hats and caps, and railway rugs
and comforters which you may find garnered
there. Sow broadcast as before, choosing out the
soil that, you think hungriest and poorest.
By acting in this way, Charity may cover a
multitude of skins, without being herself a penny
out of pocket by it.
[Advertisement.]
THE NEW PERIODICAL.
ANOTHER VOLUME OF THE CABINET LIBRARY.
MESSRS. PALMERSTON, RUSSELL, & Co., have the honour to
announce that early in March, will (unless accident intervene) he
Published, No. V. of the unpopular Periodical,
THE REFORM BILL:
OR THE POLITICAL OLLA PODRIDA FOR 1861.
With, the following Contributions by eminent Persons :
I. .
II.
III.
EXTENSION OF THE SUFFRAGE. By the Lord John Russell.
RESTRICTION OF THE SUFFEAGE. By the Lord Herbert or Lea.
RIGHT OF THE UNTAXED TO CONTROL TAXATION. By W. E. Glad-
stone, Esq.
FANCY VOTES FOR POETS AND MUSICIANS. By the Lord Carlisle.
UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE. By the Right Hon. Milner Gibson.
“WHO IS ON EXETER HALL’S SIDE, WHO?” By the Lord Shaftes-
bury, D.D.
LET PHILOSOPHERS GOVERN. By Sir G. C. Lewis.
JUSTICE TO OIRELAND. By The O’Haqan.
VOX LEGIS VOX SAPIENT!®. By the Lord Campbell.
X. THE FOK’SLE AND THE HUSTINGS. By Lord Clarence Paget.
XI. RIGHTS OF THE PEOPLE CALLED RANTERS. By Sir W. Atherton.
XII. CIVIL SERVANTS AND POLITE MASTERS. By the Duke or Somerset.
XIII. THE SOFA, OR SHOULD WOMAN VOTE ? By William Cowper, Esq.
XIV. ALL THINGS MADE PLEASANT. By the Lord Palmerston.
IV.
V.
VI.
VII.
VIII.
IX.
New Palace, Westminster, S.W.
DONE IN A MELTING MOMENT.
SNOBS AND SQUIBS.
Bull-baiting and Cock-fighting Lave ceased to hold a place among
our national amusements, but something like a taste for cruelty still
lingers in our mobs, as the following description of a night-scene on
the Serpentine last week will amply testify:—■
“ The scene was altogether of a most exciting character. An immense number
of serpents were ignited and thrown upon 1-he banks among the public, and as they
exploded and the sparks flew about, especially among the women, the scene became
fearful, and upwards of twenty women were more or less burnt. The sham fight
was carried on, one party firing from the north shore, another from the south ; but,
eventually, both parties commenced the medley attack, and fireworks were thrown
indiscriminately about, and many persons were injured. A woman named Phckbk
Hope had her clothes set on fire, and she was so badly iujured that she was taken
to her residence in Carlton Street, Vauxhall.”
Of course people may say, what business have women to go out after
dark, and mix in a night-mob of chimney-sweeps and costermongers !
But were chimney-sweeps and costermongers the only roughs there
present ? Did not gents and counter-jumpers play a part too in the
farce, which we fancy must have nearly been turned into a tragedy ?
Were there none of the so-reckoned “educated classes” who let off
squibs and roman candles without looking who were near them, or if
they looked, perhaps picked out a place for the discharge where Crino-
line did mostly congregate? Of course their plea would be, that they
did it “for a lark,” and had no intention to injure anybody. But is
this plea, do you think, a reasonable excuse for frightening women
into fits, and burning upwards of a score of them? And if persons
don’t know better how they should conduct ihemselves when there are
women present, don’t you think it reasonable that they ought to be
taught, albe't they belong to the “educated classes”?
.Why is Ice in a thaw like Philanthropy?
directions.
The Ribbon Conspiracy.
TUe never like to be rude to good folk, but just now we should feel
inclined to send all charitable souls to Coventry ; and although a firm
friend of “ peace, Jaw, and order,” we should not object to see Rib-
Because it gives in all j bonism in the ascendency in England. Hats off, Ladies, and bonnets
to the rescue !