DOI issue:
February 23, 1861
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16867#0085
February 23, 1861.]
PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
77
Xenophon, had waged a successful war in the remotest part of the
globe, and dictated terms of peace in the ancient capital of a nation
who number more than one-third of the whole population of the
world.” Viscount Williams applauded, but wished to know who
Xenophon was, on which Mr. White very properly reproved his
ignorance, and told him that Xenophon was an eminent Homan warrior
who retreated ten thousand times. This Xenophonetic news was satis-
factory to the Viscount. The Marquis op Bath made a much more
ridiculous speech, objecting to the lesson which had been read to China
by the light of the flames of the Summer Palace, and Mr. Scully took
the same line, which record may suffice to indicate the nature of the
dissentients’ addresses, and their fatuity.
The Solicitor-General brought in Seven Bills for Consolidating
the Criminal Law. They were respectfully received by the House, and
Mr. M‘Mahon regretted that similar measures were not offered to
Ireland and Scotland. And asilfr. Punch likes to make things pleasant
when he can, he invites the attention of his Scottish friends to this
able Irish gentleman’s statement, that “the criminal law of Scotland
is as barbarous as that of Italy—Scotland has no Habeas Corpus, and
a Scotsman may be hung by the odd man in a jury of fifteen.” Eh,
sirs, but that’s just awfu’.
The last idea of the two Evil Boroughs of Sudbury and Saint Alban,
that they had only been in purgatory all this time, was extinguished by
Sir George Lewis. He proposed to assign to new constituencies the
Four Members of whom the House has been deprived, since 1844 and
1852, by the disfranchisement of those corrupt places. He offers one
seat to the West Hiding of lorkshire, one to South Lancashire, one to
Birkenhead, and one to a new district, to be composed of the united
parishes of Chelsea and Kensington. Of course no distribution could
please everybody, and Mr. Ayrton was especially abusive, calling
Lord John Hussell a Hidiculous Mouse, and accusing the Govern-
ment of being humbugs. Palmerston said that he was not frightened,
and supposed that Ayrton (of the Tower Hamlets) had flown into a
rage because the House had audibly protested against receiving any
more of the articles called Metropolitan Members. He then gave a
huge scolding to the pretended Reformers who had done everything to
hinder the Reform Bill of last year, and now assailed Government for
not introducing another. The Pour Seats will probably be allotted as
proposed, after a few performances of Le Pliable a Quatre.
Friday. Lord Normanby took the second opportunity of making a
goose of himself, about Italian affairs. Lord St. Leonard’s then
made a variety of objections to the new plan for sweeping away the
mass of dens and dinginesses between the Strand and Carey Street,
and putting all the Law Courts there. It may be an open question
whether the taking away a den of thieves and substituting a colony of
lawyers is a change of so much magnitude as to be called a boon to the
Metropolis ; but inasmuch as clean streets and fresh air will come in
the place of dirty alleys and miasma, Lord St. Leonard’s should not
oppose the reform. Campbell and Cranworth both assured him
that he was wrong. Mr. Cowper has a Bill in preparation for making
the proposed sweep.
Something was said about the Convict riots at Chatham, but Sir
George Lewis did not seem to know much more about it than we
had read in the papers; namely, that a large number of scoundrels had
been very outrageous, and had been soundly flogged. If it be true, as
stated, that these fellows are better fed than the soldiers who were
called in to put them down, the riot has done good by bringing that
disgraceful fact before the public.
The Elected of the Millions has lately been annexing a little sove-
reignty called Monaco—emphasis, Wiscount, on the first syllable—and
Lord John Russell explained that the said Elected, having removed
any possible Sardinian objection to the arrangement, by taking Nice
and Savoy, had clearly and logically a right to take Monaco, if he liked
—and he did like. The next time Lord John is coming out of Covent
Garden Theatre, and a pickpocket happens to annex his opera-glass,
we are sure the Foreign Minister will politely hand to the prig the
lorgnette-case, as that should follow the glass, and can be of no use to
the owner without it.
Finally, Mr. Scully explained that he had made, on the previous
night, a statement about the Summer Palace, and, having, afterwards,
(Irish fashion) looked up the facts of the case, he found he was wrong.
This was a noble amende, and it ought to be recorded. In fact, we
think Mr. Scully ought to have a banquet given him in the St.
James’s Hall, or some such place, in honour of a public man’s not
being ashamed to own to a mistake. If the tickets are not too dear,
Mr. Punch (who never has a mistake to own to) will take a couple, and
bring Pam.
Singular Instance of Misdirection on the Part of a
Learned Judge.
It was quite accidentally that Baron Bramwell, writing to a
friend who was staying at the Sabloniere, Leicester Square, used,
instead of the addendum, West Central, the following “(E.C.) lei on
parle Franfais.”
THE VENGEANCE OF MUSIC.
People should be careful. We have just been reminded in print
that Beethoven, a composer of music, flew into such a rage on hearing
that the First Napoleon had declared himself Emperor, that the
Enraged Musician proceeded to the awful extremity of tearing off a
leaf on which he had dedicated some symphony or other to Bonaparte,
and sputtering something in German to the effect that “He was as
bad as the rest of ’em.” This fearful act is known to have driven the
new Emperor into a dreadful state of mind, and all his subsequent
tremendous efforts, and his final subjugation by the armies of Europe
are supposed to have been the result of his desire to recover the repu-
tation destroyed by the Enraged Musician. We regret to record a
similar act which has just occurred in Lambeth. Mr. Arion Bob-
shaw, second fiddle at the Euterpeon Music Saloon, had inscribed his
last polka (written for the Clown, in Crinoline, in the grand Christmas
Pantomime at the above establishment) to Mr. William Williams,
M E. But learning from the pages of Punch that Mr. Williams was
intriguing to be made a Viscount, Bobshaw, in imitation of Beethoven,
tpre off the.MS. title-page of his polka, declaring, “ I’m blessed if he
ain’t a Haristocrat, after all.” On inquiring at Mr. Williams’s resi-
dence, we learn that up to five o’clock this day he was as tranquil
and unambitious as could be expected, but who knows what may
happen? The wound may rankle in a Williams as in a Napoleon.
What if the Viscount should open his bed-room window some morning
while brushing his teeth, and proclaim England a Republic? Music
should make its professors milder—and more modest.
THE OLD AND NEW WORLD CHANGING PLACES.
The United States are fast becoming Disunited, and Italy, that for
centuries has been disunited, is rapidly growing United. Let us hope
that Italy, not following the mad example of America, will, when she
is One, never think again of falling to. Columbia will soon have to
hand over to Italia her motto of “ F Pluribus Unum,'” for if the Union
is cracking in all directions, it is clear that it must soon abandon
all pretensions to being one united country. It had bitter write on
its flags (we suppose there will be a white and a black flag now ?)
“ Divide, et ImperaP They must be careful, however, not to make of
the latter “ Imperance,” though we are well aware that that is about
the last thing that a Yankee, when he is bragging about his country,
ever thinks of displaying.
The Genius of Religion.
Genius (says Madame de Stael) has no sex.
Religion, also, (says Monsieur de Poliohinelle) would be all the
better if, like Genius, it had no sects.
PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
77
Xenophon, had waged a successful war in the remotest part of the
globe, and dictated terms of peace in the ancient capital of a nation
who number more than one-third of the whole population of the
world.” Viscount Williams applauded, but wished to know who
Xenophon was, on which Mr. White very properly reproved his
ignorance, and told him that Xenophon was an eminent Homan warrior
who retreated ten thousand times. This Xenophonetic news was satis-
factory to the Viscount. The Marquis op Bath made a much more
ridiculous speech, objecting to the lesson which had been read to China
by the light of the flames of the Summer Palace, and Mr. Scully took
the same line, which record may suffice to indicate the nature of the
dissentients’ addresses, and their fatuity.
The Solicitor-General brought in Seven Bills for Consolidating
the Criminal Law. They were respectfully received by the House, and
Mr. M‘Mahon regretted that similar measures were not offered to
Ireland and Scotland. And asilfr. Punch likes to make things pleasant
when he can, he invites the attention of his Scottish friends to this
able Irish gentleman’s statement, that “the criminal law of Scotland
is as barbarous as that of Italy—Scotland has no Habeas Corpus, and
a Scotsman may be hung by the odd man in a jury of fifteen.” Eh,
sirs, but that’s just awfu’.
The last idea of the two Evil Boroughs of Sudbury and Saint Alban,
that they had only been in purgatory all this time, was extinguished by
Sir George Lewis. He proposed to assign to new constituencies the
Four Members of whom the House has been deprived, since 1844 and
1852, by the disfranchisement of those corrupt places. He offers one
seat to the West Hiding of lorkshire, one to South Lancashire, one to
Birkenhead, and one to a new district, to be composed of the united
parishes of Chelsea and Kensington. Of course no distribution could
please everybody, and Mr. Ayrton was especially abusive, calling
Lord John Hussell a Hidiculous Mouse, and accusing the Govern-
ment of being humbugs. Palmerston said that he was not frightened,
and supposed that Ayrton (of the Tower Hamlets) had flown into a
rage because the House had audibly protested against receiving any
more of the articles called Metropolitan Members. He then gave a
huge scolding to the pretended Reformers who had done everything to
hinder the Reform Bill of last year, and now assailed Government for
not introducing another. The Pour Seats will probably be allotted as
proposed, after a few performances of Le Pliable a Quatre.
Friday. Lord Normanby took the second opportunity of making a
goose of himself, about Italian affairs. Lord St. Leonard’s then
made a variety of objections to the new plan for sweeping away the
mass of dens and dinginesses between the Strand and Carey Street,
and putting all the Law Courts there. It may be an open question
whether the taking away a den of thieves and substituting a colony of
lawyers is a change of so much magnitude as to be called a boon to the
Metropolis ; but inasmuch as clean streets and fresh air will come in
the place of dirty alleys and miasma, Lord St. Leonard’s should not
oppose the reform. Campbell and Cranworth both assured him
that he was wrong. Mr. Cowper has a Bill in preparation for making
the proposed sweep.
Something was said about the Convict riots at Chatham, but Sir
George Lewis did not seem to know much more about it than we
had read in the papers; namely, that a large number of scoundrels had
been very outrageous, and had been soundly flogged. If it be true, as
stated, that these fellows are better fed than the soldiers who were
called in to put them down, the riot has done good by bringing that
disgraceful fact before the public.
The Elected of the Millions has lately been annexing a little sove-
reignty called Monaco—emphasis, Wiscount, on the first syllable—and
Lord John Russell explained that the said Elected, having removed
any possible Sardinian objection to the arrangement, by taking Nice
and Savoy, had clearly and logically a right to take Monaco, if he liked
—and he did like. The next time Lord John is coming out of Covent
Garden Theatre, and a pickpocket happens to annex his opera-glass,
we are sure the Foreign Minister will politely hand to the prig the
lorgnette-case, as that should follow the glass, and can be of no use to
the owner without it.
Finally, Mr. Scully explained that he had made, on the previous
night, a statement about the Summer Palace, and, having, afterwards,
(Irish fashion) looked up the facts of the case, he found he was wrong.
This was a noble amende, and it ought to be recorded. In fact, we
think Mr. Scully ought to have a banquet given him in the St.
James’s Hall, or some such place, in honour of a public man’s not
being ashamed to own to a mistake. If the tickets are not too dear,
Mr. Punch (who never has a mistake to own to) will take a couple, and
bring Pam.
Singular Instance of Misdirection on the Part of a
Learned Judge.
It was quite accidentally that Baron Bramwell, writing to a
friend who was staying at the Sabloniere, Leicester Square, used,
instead of the addendum, West Central, the following “(E.C.) lei on
parle Franfais.”
THE VENGEANCE OF MUSIC.
People should be careful. We have just been reminded in print
that Beethoven, a composer of music, flew into such a rage on hearing
that the First Napoleon had declared himself Emperor, that the
Enraged Musician proceeded to the awful extremity of tearing off a
leaf on which he had dedicated some symphony or other to Bonaparte,
and sputtering something in German to the effect that “He was as
bad as the rest of ’em.” This fearful act is known to have driven the
new Emperor into a dreadful state of mind, and all his subsequent
tremendous efforts, and his final subjugation by the armies of Europe
are supposed to have been the result of his desire to recover the repu-
tation destroyed by the Enraged Musician. We regret to record a
similar act which has just occurred in Lambeth. Mr. Arion Bob-
shaw, second fiddle at the Euterpeon Music Saloon, had inscribed his
last polka (written for the Clown, in Crinoline, in the grand Christmas
Pantomime at the above establishment) to Mr. William Williams,
M E. But learning from the pages of Punch that Mr. Williams was
intriguing to be made a Viscount, Bobshaw, in imitation of Beethoven,
tpre off the.MS. title-page of his polka, declaring, “ I’m blessed if he
ain’t a Haristocrat, after all.” On inquiring at Mr. Williams’s resi-
dence, we learn that up to five o’clock this day he was as tranquil
and unambitious as could be expected, but who knows what may
happen? The wound may rankle in a Williams as in a Napoleon.
What if the Viscount should open his bed-room window some morning
while brushing his teeth, and proclaim England a Republic? Music
should make its professors milder—and more modest.
THE OLD AND NEW WORLD CHANGING PLACES.
The United States are fast becoming Disunited, and Italy, that for
centuries has been disunited, is rapidly growing United. Let us hope
that Italy, not following the mad example of America, will, when she
is One, never think again of falling to. Columbia will soon have to
hand over to Italia her motto of “ F Pluribus Unum,'” for if the Union
is cracking in all directions, it is clear that it must soon abandon
all pretensions to being one united country. It had bitter write on
its flags (we suppose there will be a white and a black flag now ?)
“ Divide, et ImperaP They must be careful, however, not to make of
the latter “ Imperance,” though we are well aware that that is about
the last thing that a Yankee, when he is bragging about his country,
ever thinks of displaying.
The Genius of Religion.
Genius (says Madame de Stael) has no sex.
Religion, also, (says Monsieur de Poliohinelle) would be all the
better if, like Genius, it had no sects.