DOI issue:
June 27, 1863
DOI Page / Citation link: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0267
260
[June 27, 1863
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A Bill for aiding our brave sailors to obtain Prize Money was opposed
by the Government, on the plea that next Session they meant to intro-
duce a similar- Bill of their own. But the House felt the wrong that
the present vexatious system inflicts upon our gallant fellows, refused
to listen to the Government proposal, and made Loud Clarence
Paget accept the Bill, and promise to improve it in Committee.
Twelve years after an action, men who fought in it have died, leaving
their families in want, because red-tape tied up the prize-money bag.
The difficulties are trash—a firm of City Accountants would distribute
the money in six months from the day of battle.
Materfamilias will be charmed with Lord Raynham, who introduces
a Bill for regulating the use, in schools, of the instrument strongly
recommended, and (it may be inferred from results) neglected by the
Wisest of Men. Aut Disce, aut Discede seems the counsel that would
be offered to youth by Lord Raynham, who objects to the tertia sors.
He stipulates for the birch, and nothing but the birch.
Thursday. Lord Granville said that he had no taste, and was glad
of it, seeing how those who thought they had plenty, abused one
another’s tastes. This was apropos of the Exhibition Building,
assailed by the Duke op Rutland. Asked.about Yaccination, the
same Earl said that Government were considering the Matter.
The Bill for giving Gog power to regulate City traffic is a strong Bill,
but highly necessary. The City itself is one huge block during
business hours. Something might be done by sending all Yans and
Waggons round back streets, executing all old women who haven’t
their money ready at getting out of the omnibus, seizing all cabs that
loiter, and forbidding the delivery of any goods except between mid-
night and three in the morning. Nothing less will enable Mr. Punch's
Hansom to dash at his favourite lightning speed from point to point,
and with nothing else will he be satisfied. The Bill was read a Second
Time.
The Bill for enabling the distressed manufacturing districts to borrow
money to be spent upon improvements which shall keep the operatives
employed, was read a Second Time. An interesting debate followed.
Mr. Cobden spoke excellently against schemes for wholesale emigration
without preparation or object.
We then voted £236,016 for Irish Education, despite the resistance
of several Irishmen to that act of Saxon tyranny. The Irish Solicitor-
General, Mr. O’Hagan, a Catholic, delivered an admirable and
enlightened address on the right side.
Friday. The new horrors reported from Poland are working upon the
minds of some Englishmen who are not in the habit of hastily yielding
to emotion. Lord Stratford de Redclippe urged the Government to
state what they were doing, and Lord Russell said that the Notes of
the Powers had been sent to Russia, and that if they were not answered
forthwith, he would lay them, without further ceremony, on the table of
the Lords. He expressed a hope that Mouraviepf’s threat to knout
the women of Poland had not really been uttered. So hope we, but it
is hope against hope.
Lord Malmesbury at great length objected to Lord Russell’s
conduct towards Brazil. Lord Russell defended himself and all his
subordinates.
The Commons sat till nearly three, but were not lively. The only
discussion of interest arose on Mr. Liddell’s overhauling the Green-
wich Hospital system. Mr. Stanspeld entered with ability into the
whole story, ana promised a Greenwich Reform Bill for the next week.
While it is in hand, it might include a clause prohibiting more than
thirty dishes of fish before the white-bait comes on, as really one has
dined before one comes to the glories of the art. Mrs. Hart and Mr.
Quartermaine may be heard by counsel if they like, and Mr. Punch
knows several elegant young barristers who are ready to hold any
number of briefs in the matter, and accept any number of Refreshers.
Mysterious.
The other night cries were heard proceeding from the South Western
district of the Metropolis. The neighbourhood of Kensington took the
alarm, and the Police, hurrying to the spot, found several puddles of
Kensington Gore. No body has as yet been discovered, but the autho-
rities, we may venture to say without defeating the ends of justice, are
on the right track.
What’s in a Name?
Majddle. Stella Colas, a young Erench actress, is advertised to
appear at the Princess’s Theatre in Juliet. Her name carries bad and
good omen with it. Let us hope Stella will prove a star—of the first,
magnitude—but that her Jziliet will not be a reduction by the “proces
Colas” of Shakspeare’s large and lovely figure, to a small stage
statuette.
Mr. Christie’s Present to Lord Russell.—A Brazil-nut to
crack.
YOURS SINCERELY.
ruly here is a nice
little bit from a
Husband and Wife
case. No, Mrs.
Grundy, it is not
one of those cases
which come before
Sir C. C., and of
which Mr. Punch
has as little to say
as possible. This
is out of an action
lor libel, but the
libel is not to Mr.
Punch's purpose.
But, aware as he is
that some persons
of the masculine sex
are rather easily
worked upon, and
in . fact readily
manipulated into
spooniness, byfemi-
nine epistles, when
the lady redoubles
her affectionate ap-
pellatives, and does
a little piteous play-
fulness, Mr. Punch,
in order to arm
the manly breast
against such weak-
ness, begs to sub-
mit a little passage
or two from a wife’s
letters, and the
wife’s own gloss
thereupon. No,
Mrs. Grundy,
there is nothing
against the lady, whom we will call Mrs. Tudor, as we merely wish
to point a moral, not to adorn a tale. Mrs. Tudor and her hus-
band had not set their horses together very well, and in order to get
i he animals into better co-operation, Mrs. Tudor writes to Captain
Tudor—so prettily :—
“ How I wish I was home, dear darling Hubbs, how much I love you—how kindly
and tenderly I think of you I cannot say. I often think if you are thinking of me.”
Yery nice, isn’t it ? Well, and so is this
“ I tenderly look back upon this last year as the happiest I have ever known—
the quietest and the happiest—and I think of Hubbs with much of grateful love,
and I wish I had been a better wife to him who was so good and kind to me. Never
mind, she’ll do better next time if she has the chance.” “ Hubbs, for heaven’s
sake, come home soon; I will never go another voyage without you, and I don’t
believe that you ever, ever think of me, or wish me with you, where as I.do both
all day and all night long. Oh, Hubby, come home ! come home ! (Laughter.) ”
What did the coarse brutes laugh at ? Could anything be more gushing
and affectionate p Punch declares it almost makes him cry. But he
wipes his eyes, and extracts a little more
“ I want you to come home soon, please, for your leave, and afterwards I ’ll
come out with you to St. Helena or Canada. I won’t leave you again, Mr. Hubbs,
I can tell you. I wish I could think you missed me.”
Then we grow poetical, and think of Mr. Sims Reeves
“ Good bye, sweetheart, good bye; don’t forget me, old Hubbs, and remember
how very, very welcome and longed-for your letters will be. Oh, Hubbs, how
I long and weary to hear from you ; 1 wondei if you ever think of me now. I
have had less time than I otherwise have to myself, but every day, dear, dear old
kind Hubbs, and many times a day, do I think of you, and long for letters ; and
wish you were here. I can’t sleep at night, and I get very melancholy and veiy
frightened.”
Only one little bit more—it will do for married ladies to stick into
their Complete Letter Writer:—
“ How little we know what we would like till we try it. No, Hubbs, your pro-
fession and yourself altogether suit me better than anybody X ever saw before. You
like knocking about, too, activity, and all that sort of thing, and so do I. Do I suit
you at all, old Hubbs ? I hope we shall have many hours together yet, and I do
with intense delight look back to this last year, the most quietly happy and com-
fortable that I have ever known. I send you some vfnlets that I picked for you in
the garden this afternoon. I don't know if they:imell sweet, but I send them with
much love to you, my dearest little husband.”
That is all Air. Punch means to quote Out of the most charming
and tender correspondence which he ban h&d the good fortune to read
for many a day. One must love a woman that could write such pretty
letters, and the man who could read them unsoftened must be a Brute,
eh, Mrs. Grundy?
Well, M’m, the letters are read in Court, not in impeachment ol the
[June 27, 1863
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
A Bill for aiding our brave sailors to obtain Prize Money was opposed
by the Government, on the plea that next Session they meant to intro-
duce a similar- Bill of their own. But the House felt the wrong that
the present vexatious system inflicts upon our gallant fellows, refused
to listen to the Government proposal, and made Loud Clarence
Paget accept the Bill, and promise to improve it in Committee.
Twelve years after an action, men who fought in it have died, leaving
their families in want, because red-tape tied up the prize-money bag.
The difficulties are trash—a firm of City Accountants would distribute
the money in six months from the day of battle.
Materfamilias will be charmed with Lord Raynham, who introduces
a Bill for regulating the use, in schools, of the instrument strongly
recommended, and (it may be inferred from results) neglected by the
Wisest of Men. Aut Disce, aut Discede seems the counsel that would
be offered to youth by Lord Raynham, who objects to the tertia sors.
He stipulates for the birch, and nothing but the birch.
Thursday. Lord Granville said that he had no taste, and was glad
of it, seeing how those who thought they had plenty, abused one
another’s tastes. This was apropos of the Exhibition Building,
assailed by the Duke op Rutland. Asked.about Yaccination, the
same Earl said that Government were considering the Matter.
The Bill for giving Gog power to regulate City traffic is a strong Bill,
but highly necessary. The City itself is one huge block during
business hours. Something might be done by sending all Yans and
Waggons round back streets, executing all old women who haven’t
their money ready at getting out of the omnibus, seizing all cabs that
loiter, and forbidding the delivery of any goods except between mid-
night and three in the morning. Nothing less will enable Mr. Punch's
Hansom to dash at his favourite lightning speed from point to point,
and with nothing else will he be satisfied. The Bill was read a Second
Time.
The Bill for enabling the distressed manufacturing districts to borrow
money to be spent upon improvements which shall keep the operatives
employed, was read a Second Time. An interesting debate followed.
Mr. Cobden spoke excellently against schemes for wholesale emigration
without preparation or object.
We then voted £236,016 for Irish Education, despite the resistance
of several Irishmen to that act of Saxon tyranny. The Irish Solicitor-
General, Mr. O’Hagan, a Catholic, delivered an admirable and
enlightened address on the right side.
Friday. The new horrors reported from Poland are working upon the
minds of some Englishmen who are not in the habit of hastily yielding
to emotion. Lord Stratford de Redclippe urged the Government to
state what they were doing, and Lord Russell said that the Notes of
the Powers had been sent to Russia, and that if they were not answered
forthwith, he would lay them, without further ceremony, on the table of
the Lords. He expressed a hope that Mouraviepf’s threat to knout
the women of Poland had not really been uttered. So hope we, but it
is hope against hope.
Lord Malmesbury at great length objected to Lord Russell’s
conduct towards Brazil. Lord Russell defended himself and all his
subordinates.
The Commons sat till nearly three, but were not lively. The only
discussion of interest arose on Mr. Liddell’s overhauling the Green-
wich Hospital system. Mr. Stanspeld entered with ability into the
whole story, ana promised a Greenwich Reform Bill for the next week.
While it is in hand, it might include a clause prohibiting more than
thirty dishes of fish before the white-bait comes on, as really one has
dined before one comes to the glories of the art. Mrs. Hart and Mr.
Quartermaine may be heard by counsel if they like, and Mr. Punch
knows several elegant young barristers who are ready to hold any
number of briefs in the matter, and accept any number of Refreshers.
Mysterious.
The other night cries were heard proceeding from the South Western
district of the Metropolis. The neighbourhood of Kensington took the
alarm, and the Police, hurrying to the spot, found several puddles of
Kensington Gore. No body has as yet been discovered, but the autho-
rities, we may venture to say without defeating the ends of justice, are
on the right track.
What’s in a Name?
Majddle. Stella Colas, a young Erench actress, is advertised to
appear at the Princess’s Theatre in Juliet. Her name carries bad and
good omen with it. Let us hope Stella will prove a star—of the first,
magnitude—but that her Jziliet will not be a reduction by the “proces
Colas” of Shakspeare’s large and lovely figure, to a small stage
statuette.
Mr. Christie’s Present to Lord Russell.—A Brazil-nut to
crack.
YOURS SINCERELY.
ruly here is a nice
little bit from a
Husband and Wife
case. No, Mrs.
Grundy, it is not
one of those cases
which come before
Sir C. C., and of
which Mr. Punch
has as little to say
as possible. This
is out of an action
lor libel, but the
libel is not to Mr.
Punch's purpose.
But, aware as he is
that some persons
of the masculine sex
are rather easily
worked upon, and
in . fact readily
manipulated into
spooniness, byfemi-
nine epistles, when
the lady redoubles
her affectionate ap-
pellatives, and does
a little piteous play-
fulness, Mr. Punch,
in order to arm
the manly breast
against such weak-
ness, begs to sub-
mit a little passage
or two from a wife’s
letters, and the
wife’s own gloss
thereupon. No,
Mrs. Grundy,
there is nothing
against the lady, whom we will call Mrs. Tudor, as we merely wish
to point a moral, not to adorn a tale. Mrs. Tudor and her hus-
band had not set their horses together very well, and in order to get
i he animals into better co-operation, Mrs. Tudor writes to Captain
Tudor—so prettily :—
“ How I wish I was home, dear darling Hubbs, how much I love you—how kindly
and tenderly I think of you I cannot say. I often think if you are thinking of me.”
Yery nice, isn’t it ? Well, and so is this
“ I tenderly look back upon this last year as the happiest I have ever known—
the quietest and the happiest—and I think of Hubbs with much of grateful love,
and I wish I had been a better wife to him who was so good and kind to me. Never
mind, she’ll do better next time if she has the chance.” “ Hubbs, for heaven’s
sake, come home soon; I will never go another voyage without you, and I don’t
believe that you ever, ever think of me, or wish me with you, where as I.do both
all day and all night long. Oh, Hubby, come home ! come home ! (Laughter.) ”
What did the coarse brutes laugh at ? Could anything be more gushing
and affectionate p Punch declares it almost makes him cry. But he
wipes his eyes, and extracts a little more
“ I want you to come home soon, please, for your leave, and afterwards I ’ll
come out with you to St. Helena or Canada. I won’t leave you again, Mr. Hubbs,
I can tell you. I wish I could think you missed me.”
Then we grow poetical, and think of Mr. Sims Reeves
“ Good bye, sweetheart, good bye; don’t forget me, old Hubbs, and remember
how very, very welcome and longed-for your letters will be. Oh, Hubbs, how
I long and weary to hear from you ; 1 wondei if you ever think of me now. I
have had less time than I otherwise have to myself, but every day, dear, dear old
kind Hubbs, and many times a day, do I think of you, and long for letters ; and
wish you were here. I can’t sleep at night, and I get very melancholy and veiy
frightened.”
Only one little bit more—it will do for married ladies to stick into
their Complete Letter Writer:—
“ How little we know what we would like till we try it. No, Hubbs, your pro-
fession and yourself altogether suit me better than anybody X ever saw before. You
like knocking about, too, activity, and all that sort of thing, and so do I. Do I suit
you at all, old Hubbs ? I hope we shall have many hours together yet, and I do
with intense delight look back to this last year, the most quietly happy and com-
fortable that I have ever known. I send you some vfnlets that I picked for you in
the garden this afternoon. I don't know if they:imell sweet, but I send them with
much love to you, my dearest little husband.”
That is all Air. Punch means to quote Out of the most charming
and tender correspondence which he ban h&d the good fortune to read
for many a day. One must love a woman that could write such pretty
letters, and the man who could read them unsoftened must be a Brute,
eh, Mrs. Grundy?
Well, M’m, the letters are read in Court, not in impeachment ol the