DOI Heft:
June 27, 1863
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16871#0268
June 27. 1863.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
26i
lady’s character, but in reference to a male quarrel. And Mr. Serjeant
Shee, yes, t hat nice looking gentleman, with his pleasant voice, anc> his
beautiful white hair under his wig, he is heartless enough to ask Mrs.
Tudor a question which we are ashamed to write.
“ Perhaps Mrs. Tudor, you will tell me whether you were or were
not in Earnest when you wrote those letters?”
In earnest, Serjeant, you old Brute. How can you? Mrs. Iudor
replied that those letters were partly written with sincerity and
partly not. Her object was concealment from her Husband.
And she had very good reason for wishing concealment from a very
violent personage, and we are not blaming her in the least. But, 0
vouug, middle-aged, nay elderly men, of a tender disposition, and apt to
be mollified by letters, will you ever yield to that spoonifying influence
again ? This is the way the women serve us, 0 beloved brethren
and thus they mock our gentle natures. But warnings are useless
Judina might sell Ourself to-morrow.
YAK!
A Maniac Chant, in which a Married Friend of ours was heard to indulge
while waiting for an hour and twenty minutes outside a shop-door.
Yak!
Another new item of lady-clack :
Another new nonsense for lady’s back.
You see it in white, and you see it in black,
Drawn rather tightly, or lyinr quite slack,
Neatly or dowdily—that’s in the knack,
Tearing whenever it catches a tack,
And costing a doosid deal more than a plack.
Of course, it’s a thing that no lady can lack.
But at Concert, and Rose Show, and Sermon must hack.
For, bless you, they follow like hounds in a pack.
The fashion announced by each clothes-vending quack.
They ’d do it, if ordered to walk in a sack,
Or stick themselves over with toads and shell-lac,
Or pile up fresh hay on their heads like a stack,
And, till rigged so, would fancy themselves on the rack.
Well, I shall be off t,o the Club for a snack,
I wish I’d been born where a Jill has no Jack,
But shouldn’t I like to indulge in a crack
At the head of the cove who makes fashion-books ? Whack !
Yah!
Yak !
[Cuts with his stick at an inoffensive lamp-post, and jumps into a
Hansom.
ADELAIDE RISTORI.
Madame Ristori, the greatest of living actresses, is now to be
beheld at Her Majesty’s Theatre. That bright southern star will be
visible for a few nights only. In the interest of real and noble art,
Mr. Punch begs to say, that in no English or American dictionary will
be found words of sufficient strength to express his admiration of
Adelaide Ristori, or his compassion for the unhappy person who
does not go and behold one or two of her performances. This is a
debilitated understatement of the case, but the fact is that he is at
present so absorbed in a retrospective vision of an awful old moribund
Queen, haughty in her decrepitude, and fiercely clutching the crown of
England (a vision which the subsequent sight of one of the loveliest of
faces, flushed and smiling at a shouting audience, could not dispel) that
he is conscious of not writing with his accustomed earthquake strength
and lightning brilliancy, but he means to say that if he were not Punch
he would be Ristori. What a magnificent voice that is, and how artis-
tically managed. The vox humana is the finest musical instrument in
the world, but then so few can perform upon it. Our Adelaide is one
of the few. Clapham— and we don’t use the word disrespectfully—
may go and see Ristori. It will see and hear nothing to offend, or
even suggest offence, and will comprehend what is meant by lofty
tragedy. Hers are sensation dramas, with a sensation of which ni>
decent person need be ashamed, and if anybody thinks that he knows
what acting means, and has not seen Ristori, let him go to Her
Majesty’s Theatre, and afterwards write us his thanks for having
educated him. He need not cross the cheque he will of course enclose.
A Prize.
Prince Wilhelm, of Denmark, has been a good boy. He has
passed his examinations, and, being found an apt pupil, is going to be
sent to Athens as First Grecian.
The Best Head to be Engraved on the American Wash-
able Bank-notes.—Washington.
OUT-OF-OOOR GAMESTER
AND SUMMER SPORTING REGISTER.
Cricket—July Istf. At South Kensington Museum. Brothers Igna
tius and Fryers v. Brompton Boilers.
July Mh. The Annual Parliamentary Match will be played on one
of the Commons in the House.
Female Cricketing .—Ladies are trying their hands at the national pas-
time. An instance in point has come under our notice. A Lady, the
mother of a large small family, often “ goes in,” about the nursery
dinner hour, and makes a cut for fourteen.
A correspondent wants to know what a Duck’s egg in cricketing
phraseology means. He will not be much wiser on learning that it
means nothing.
The Umpire.—When the question, “How’s that Umpire?” is put,
the referee must be prepared to answer for ffimself, “ Quite well, thank
you,” or not, as the case may be. The form of asking merely show's
the cricketer’s natural anxiety for the state of the Umpire’s health.
Invariable Rule.—Never boast of what you are going to do. A well-
known cricketer at a recent match told us before his innings, that he
was going to “ come out rather ” this time. His prophecy met with a
melancholy fulfilment. He went in, and came out directly. We have
not seen him since.
July 3rd, Scotland Yard Steeple Chace.—Among the many obstacles
placed in the way of the Mounted Police, who are to display their
equestrian capabilities on this occasion, there is one which we know
will be the centre of interest; crowds will assemble to see several civil
executives taking an “ Old Fence.”
Turf Fixtures. —July 2nd, Goodwood.—Pox the Ladies’ Plate.
Several Muffs have entered for the Flat race.
MUSICAL NOTES.
M. Gounod’s Opera, Faust, seems to suit every one’s taste, and
Mr. Mapleson, intends, we believe, to adopt an old proverb, by
inscribing over the grand entrance, Chacun a son Gou-nod. It is
but fair to state that Signor Gas-sier, of Her Majesty’s, has nothing
to do with the lighting of the theatre; and certain rude inquirers
must be satisfied when we assure them that Madlle. Titiens’ brother
is not known as Tom Tit-iens ; finally, the superintendent of the
Box Office, Mr. Nugent, is a very respectable old gent in his connec-
tion with Her Majesty’s Theatre, and whose “ benefit is fixed by
command of several persons of distinction ” for the 6th of July, when
children in arms will be admitted to the refreshment Saloons, and made
free of the Sponge Cake and Cherry Brandy department throughout
the evening. Signor Tamberlik, we are credibly informed, thinks
of taking a house in one of the great squares. At the house-
warming he will enchant the entire neighbourhood by singing his own
Area.
Von. 44.
9
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI
26i
lady’s character, but in reference to a male quarrel. And Mr. Serjeant
Shee, yes, t hat nice looking gentleman, with his pleasant voice, anc> his
beautiful white hair under his wig, he is heartless enough to ask Mrs.
Tudor a question which we are ashamed to write.
“ Perhaps Mrs. Tudor, you will tell me whether you were or were
not in Earnest when you wrote those letters?”
In earnest, Serjeant, you old Brute. How can you? Mrs. Iudor
replied that those letters were partly written with sincerity and
partly not. Her object was concealment from her Husband.
And she had very good reason for wishing concealment from a very
violent personage, and we are not blaming her in the least. But, 0
vouug, middle-aged, nay elderly men, of a tender disposition, and apt to
be mollified by letters, will you ever yield to that spoonifying influence
again ? This is the way the women serve us, 0 beloved brethren
and thus they mock our gentle natures. But warnings are useless
Judina might sell Ourself to-morrow.
YAK!
A Maniac Chant, in which a Married Friend of ours was heard to indulge
while waiting for an hour and twenty minutes outside a shop-door.
Yak!
Another new item of lady-clack :
Another new nonsense for lady’s back.
You see it in white, and you see it in black,
Drawn rather tightly, or lyinr quite slack,
Neatly or dowdily—that’s in the knack,
Tearing whenever it catches a tack,
And costing a doosid deal more than a plack.
Of course, it’s a thing that no lady can lack.
But at Concert, and Rose Show, and Sermon must hack.
For, bless you, they follow like hounds in a pack.
The fashion announced by each clothes-vending quack.
They ’d do it, if ordered to walk in a sack,
Or stick themselves over with toads and shell-lac,
Or pile up fresh hay on their heads like a stack,
And, till rigged so, would fancy themselves on the rack.
Well, I shall be off t,o the Club for a snack,
I wish I’d been born where a Jill has no Jack,
But shouldn’t I like to indulge in a crack
At the head of the cove who makes fashion-books ? Whack !
Yah!
Yak !
[Cuts with his stick at an inoffensive lamp-post, and jumps into a
Hansom.
ADELAIDE RISTORI.
Madame Ristori, the greatest of living actresses, is now to be
beheld at Her Majesty’s Theatre. That bright southern star will be
visible for a few nights only. In the interest of real and noble art,
Mr. Punch begs to say, that in no English or American dictionary will
be found words of sufficient strength to express his admiration of
Adelaide Ristori, or his compassion for the unhappy person who
does not go and behold one or two of her performances. This is a
debilitated understatement of the case, but the fact is that he is at
present so absorbed in a retrospective vision of an awful old moribund
Queen, haughty in her decrepitude, and fiercely clutching the crown of
England (a vision which the subsequent sight of one of the loveliest of
faces, flushed and smiling at a shouting audience, could not dispel) that
he is conscious of not writing with his accustomed earthquake strength
and lightning brilliancy, but he means to say that if he were not Punch
he would be Ristori. What a magnificent voice that is, and how artis-
tically managed. The vox humana is the finest musical instrument in
the world, but then so few can perform upon it. Our Adelaide is one
of the few. Clapham— and we don’t use the word disrespectfully—
may go and see Ristori. It will see and hear nothing to offend, or
even suggest offence, and will comprehend what is meant by lofty
tragedy. Hers are sensation dramas, with a sensation of which ni>
decent person need be ashamed, and if anybody thinks that he knows
what acting means, and has not seen Ristori, let him go to Her
Majesty’s Theatre, and afterwards write us his thanks for having
educated him. He need not cross the cheque he will of course enclose.
A Prize.
Prince Wilhelm, of Denmark, has been a good boy. He has
passed his examinations, and, being found an apt pupil, is going to be
sent to Athens as First Grecian.
The Best Head to be Engraved on the American Wash-
able Bank-notes.—Washington.
OUT-OF-OOOR GAMESTER
AND SUMMER SPORTING REGISTER.
Cricket—July Istf. At South Kensington Museum. Brothers Igna
tius and Fryers v. Brompton Boilers.
July Mh. The Annual Parliamentary Match will be played on one
of the Commons in the House.
Female Cricketing .—Ladies are trying their hands at the national pas-
time. An instance in point has come under our notice. A Lady, the
mother of a large small family, often “ goes in,” about the nursery
dinner hour, and makes a cut for fourteen.
A correspondent wants to know what a Duck’s egg in cricketing
phraseology means. He will not be much wiser on learning that it
means nothing.
The Umpire.—When the question, “How’s that Umpire?” is put,
the referee must be prepared to answer for ffimself, “ Quite well, thank
you,” or not, as the case may be. The form of asking merely show's
the cricketer’s natural anxiety for the state of the Umpire’s health.
Invariable Rule.—Never boast of what you are going to do. A well-
known cricketer at a recent match told us before his innings, that he
was going to “ come out rather ” this time. His prophecy met with a
melancholy fulfilment. He went in, and came out directly. We have
not seen him since.
July 3rd, Scotland Yard Steeple Chace.—Among the many obstacles
placed in the way of the Mounted Police, who are to display their
equestrian capabilities on this occasion, there is one which we know
will be the centre of interest; crowds will assemble to see several civil
executives taking an “ Old Fence.”
Turf Fixtures. —July 2nd, Goodwood.—Pox the Ladies’ Plate.
Several Muffs have entered for the Flat race.
MUSICAL NOTES.
M. Gounod’s Opera, Faust, seems to suit every one’s taste, and
Mr. Mapleson, intends, we believe, to adopt an old proverb, by
inscribing over the grand entrance, Chacun a son Gou-nod. It is
but fair to state that Signor Gas-sier, of Her Majesty’s, has nothing
to do with the lighting of the theatre; and certain rude inquirers
must be satisfied when we assure them that Madlle. Titiens’ brother
is not known as Tom Tit-iens ; finally, the superintendent of the
Box Office, Mr. Nugent, is a very respectable old gent in his connec-
tion with Her Majesty’s Theatre, and whose “ benefit is fixed by
command of several persons of distinction ” for the 6th of July, when
children in arms will be admitted to the refreshment Saloons, and made
free of the Sponge Cake and Cherry Brandy department throughout
the evening. Signor Tamberlik, we are credibly informed, thinks
of taking a house in one of the great squares. At the house-
warming he will enchant the entire neighbourhood by singing his own
Area.
Von. 44.
9