DOI issue:
October 31, 1863
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16872#0194
October 31, 1863.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
183
SHADOWS OF THE WEEK.
Pugilism is sinking lower than ever. Aristocratic _ Backers only
employing their patronage by backing out of all fistic encounters.
Even Bell threatens to give up its Ring, and the Professors of self-
defence will not find much vitality remaining in their body when The
Life has once left their noble art. Without money the fighting men
will soon find their occupation gone. It is of little use to be rough
unless you have plenty of ready.
Who are the Feenians or Finnians ? The former would in England
be a law term for lawyers in general, while the Finnians or Finny hi ns
I would serve to distinguish as fishy ones the black sheep ot the pro-
fession in particular.
King George Agamemnon proposes to change the name of the
Ionian Islands into the I. O. U.nion Islands. All His Majesty’s orders
are signed by George, but there is no truth in the report that the
Prime Minister’s name is By Jingo.
The prison system is to be greatly improved. The following defi-
nitions and rules have been sent in to the Home Secretary by eminent
prison-discipline authorities. The definition of—
Solitary Confinement is, not more than three in a room.
Silent System.—All may not talk at once.
Hard Labour.—A walk round the grounds from twelve to four.
Stringent Rules.—Convicts are requested not to pluck the flowers.
Prison Diet.—Yenison is not allowed more than six times during the
season. N. B. Whenever the Governor or any of the prison officials be
presented with game, he shall share it with the first-class convicts.
Regulation as to Dinner.— Nobody shall ask for more than three
helpings of turtle soup.
Instruction.—Cigars and liqueurs shall be provided for the convicts
during their conversations with the Chaplain. The Chaplain shall in no
case refer to their past lives, lest it might wound their susceptibilities.
The mention of prisons reminds us that an evil-doer has been rescued
from the error of his way by seeing the Ticket of Leave Man at the
Olympic. The good effected has not stopped here: during the long
run of this capital piece several dramatic authors have visited the
house, and have subsequently written to Mr. Emden informing him
that they will never again take anything from the French.
Enable to get away from hard labour and treadmills, even though
we have plunged into theatrical matters, we may say that while the
fortunate convict is getting on well at the Olympic, 'he successful
Ixion is still likely to be kept on for a good long time at his wheel in
the New Royalty.
The theatrical worldisfuliof great successes. QueenLeah reignssupreme
at the Adelphi, and Miriam, as a gentleman with a “cold in his ’ed”
informed us, is equal to a myriad in the auditorium (if it would hold
’em) of the Strand. Then there’s a conjuror who makes money and
time pass in a wonderfully quick way at the Princess’s. The St.
James’s Theatre is to let. But everybody seems to think that it does
very well as it is, and that therefore they’d better act upon the moral
suggested by the piece played at this house last season. (Lady Audley’s
Secret), and let well alone.
Mr. Balte’s new Opera now in rehearsal at Covent Garden is not
founded on Martin Tupper’s Proverbial Philosophy.
Mr. Charles Mathews should have re-appeared in London in a
new Piece, entitled the Judgment of Paris, but his habitual modesty
Erevented him from so doing. However, Mrs. Mathews and her
usband are coming out very shortly in a Comedy, by a well-known
hand, we mustn’t say whose, which has a capital title, we mustn’t say
what, and we can’t add any more, but we mustn’t say why.
Here’s a nice little bit of pennv-a-lining
‘ ‘His Royal Highness the Prikce of Wales and his Royal relatives have com-
menced the eh ooti*g season immediately on their arrival at the Prince’s shooting-
box, their Royal Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the Prince Christian, and
Prince Frederick, with several gentlemen of their respective suites, having begun
to use the deadly tube this morning with telling effects. The weather has been
charmingly fine, and strongly in contrast to that of yesterday. Their Royal High-
nesses found plenty of game, and entered into the sport with real enjoyment. Their
Royal Highnesses shot over the estate nearest the Hall.”
The deadly tube! Our great guns, according to this report, couldn’t
shoot with any commonplace weapons. Telling effects! Good joke
this; play on the name “ Tell,” who was a remarkably good shot in
his way. Ha! ha! ha! Capital. See how yesterday is mildly rebuked
for its weather. Their Royal Highnesses found the game. Yery kind
of their Royal Highnesses, specially as it was Hr the benefit of the
Correspondent. Real enjoyment! Dehghtiul ccene, peculiarly English!
Was the writer present ? behind a tree setting out of the way of the
telling effects.
We suspect that our pennywise Inend was up a “hollow beech tree”
in the neighbourhood, and it required some extra fine writing before
could “comedown,” and defray the score at the Woodpecker’s
Tap in the Woods, where “ the smoke so gracefully curl’d” from his
’’niar-root pipe, and obfuscated him.
THE FEENIAN EAUGH-A-BALLAGH.
It’s down wid the Orange and up wid the Green,
From across the Atlantic, to Erin’s fair shore,
Since that banner waved proudly in Ryan’s boreen,
’Gainst the Saxon it never has come to the fore:
When bould Smith O’Brien, in the cabbage formed line,
Saxon hirelings the flag of the Feenian fleered at:
But let us once put in ould Ireland a fut,
And we ’ll ate up John Bull, wid the cabbage he jeered at.
Up, Feenian Brotherhood—up like one man.
And pay down your money, nor ask a receipt:
Sons of Great Fin Mac Cool, be as cool as you can,
Wid revenge on the Saxon your timpers to beat:
Wid the States at our back, and the clargy at home,
Sure our flag will soon wave upon Liffey’s fair quay.
And as moighty St. Pathrick druv snakes o’er the foam,
So the base bloody Saxon we ’ll drive over say!
Then the Feenian Brotherhood all in their moight,
Ou the ould hill of Tara a council will hold,
Wid green robes on their backs, a most iligant soight.
And all wearin’ Malaehi’s collars o’ gold:
And we’ll bring back the fine ould Milesian toimes,
And the seven wise masthers instal in our schools;
And we ’ll find out descindants of Brian Boroihme’s,
To sway the green isle that the Saxon misrules!
And we’ll have back the glib and the saffron-dyed robe
That was worn by the chieftains who warred ’gin the Pale,
And we’ll send Irish Letthers and Arts o’er the globe,
And for Pathrick and Piran, crown Docthor Mac Hale.
And we ’ll put down the Peelers, and mane Saxon laws,
That keep up distinction ’twixt meurn and turne,
And we ’ll wait till the Feenian Republic o’eravves
The Kingdom of England and reigns in its room.
We’ll restore the ould families,—every man Jack,—
To the acres, tuk from them by Protestant band ;
And we ’ll have our Milesian Capital back,
When the base Saxon Capital’s druv from the land!
The sthrames will run butter-milk, bogs dry outright.
Potheen won’t upset the Milesian brain,
Irish pathriots won’t job, Irish factions won’t fight,
And the Phoeuix will build in her own Park again!
A RESPECTABLE ACT OF FAITH.
It is reported, says a contemporary, that the Spanish Government
intends “ attempting to consolidate the whole of the heterogeneous
debt of the country.” We hope this means that Queen_ Isabella’s
Ministers are going to create Consols for the purpose of paying the
foreign creditors of Spain the interest of their money. This step will
become the advisers of a Sovereign who affects the title of Catholic.
They will very much improve upon it by paying up the arrears of divi-
dend due to those long-suffering persons who have trusted their nation.
One entirely laudable dogma of Catholicism is, that which enjoins
restitution. If the Spaniards will only evince their zeal for that faith
on which they pride themselves by putting this point of it in practice,
they will at any rate gain some credit, whereas otherwise they will never
be trusted.
Epigram on Society and Individuals.
BY A CYNIC.
The Many go absurdly wrong
In common with their kind ;
Not few in self-conceit are strong
As they are weak of mind;
Thus, for example, to produce
A case of either class,
There’s Tomkins a gregarious goose :
Brown, an egregious ass.
All of a Piece.
Mr. Charles Mathews still persists in maintaining that he is the
author of the original farce, on which If Anglais Timide is founded,
which he knows as well as we do that he is not. In only one respect
can he make good his title, and that is in the boldness of the assertion,
which certainly is As Cool as a Cucumber. However, coolness on the
part of our friend Charles is decidedly misplaced under the head of
VarietSs, which is the name of the theatre where the felonious act waf
committed.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
183
SHADOWS OF THE WEEK.
Pugilism is sinking lower than ever. Aristocratic _ Backers only
employing their patronage by backing out of all fistic encounters.
Even Bell threatens to give up its Ring, and the Professors of self-
defence will not find much vitality remaining in their body when The
Life has once left their noble art. Without money the fighting men
will soon find their occupation gone. It is of little use to be rough
unless you have plenty of ready.
Who are the Feenians or Finnians ? The former would in England
be a law term for lawyers in general, while the Finnians or Finny hi ns
I would serve to distinguish as fishy ones the black sheep ot the pro-
fession in particular.
King George Agamemnon proposes to change the name of the
Ionian Islands into the I. O. U.nion Islands. All His Majesty’s orders
are signed by George, but there is no truth in the report that the
Prime Minister’s name is By Jingo.
The prison system is to be greatly improved. The following defi-
nitions and rules have been sent in to the Home Secretary by eminent
prison-discipline authorities. The definition of—
Solitary Confinement is, not more than three in a room.
Silent System.—All may not talk at once.
Hard Labour.—A walk round the grounds from twelve to four.
Stringent Rules.—Convicts are requested not to pluck the flowers.
Prison Diet.—Yenison is not allowed more than six times during the
season. N. B. Whenever the Governor or any of the prison officials be
presented with game, he shall share it with the first-class convicts.
Regulation as to Dinner.— Nobody shall ask for more than three
helpings of turtle soup.
Instruction.—Cigars and liqueurs shall be provided for the convicts
during their conversations with the Chaplain. The Chaplain shall in no
case refer to their past lives, lest it might wound their susceptibilities.
The mention of prisons reminds us that an evil-doer has been rescued
from the error of his way by seeing the Ticket of Leave Man at the
Olympic. The good effected has not stopped here: during the long
run of this capital piece several dramatic authors have visited the
house, and have subsequently written to Mr. Emden informing him
that they will never again take anything from the French.
Enable to get away from hard labour and treadmills, even though
we have plunged into theatrical matters, we may say that while the
fortunate convict is getting on well at the Olympic, 'he successful
Ixion is still likely to be kept on for a good long time at his wheel in
the New Royalty.
The theatrical worldisfuliof great successes. QueenLeah reignssupreme
at the Adelphi, and Miriam, as a gentleman with a “cold in his ’ed”
informed us, is equal to a myriad in the auditorium (if it would hold
’em) of the Strand. Then there’s a conjuror who makes money and
time pass in a wonderfully quick way at the Princess’s. The St.
James’s Theatre is to let. But everybody seems to think that it does
very well as it is, and that therefore they’d better act upon the moral
suggested by the piece played at this house last season. (Lady Audley’s
Secret), and let well alone.
Mr. Balte’s new Opera now in rehearsal at Covent Garden is not
founded on Martin Tupper’s Proverbial Philosophy.
Mr. Charles Mathews should have re-appeared in London in a
new Piece, entitled the Judgment of Paris, but his habitual modesty
Erevented him from so doing. However, Mrs. Mathews and her
usband are coming out very shortly in a Comedy, by a well-known
hand, we mustn’t say whose, which has a capital title, we mustn’t say
what, and we can’t add any more, but we mustn’t say why.
Here’s a nice little bit of pennv-a-lining
‘ ‘His Royal Highness the Prikce of Wales and his Royal relatives have com-
menced the eh ooti*g season immediately on their arrival at the Prince’s shooting-
box, their Royal Highnesses the Prince of Wales, the Prince Christian, and
Prince Frederick, with several gentlemen of their respective suites, having begun
to use the deadly tube this morning with telling effects. The weather has been
charmingly fine, and strongly in contrast to that of yesterday. Their Royal High-
nesses found plenty of game, and entered into the sport with real enjoyment. Their
Royal Highnesses shot over the estate nearest the Hall.”
The deadly tube! Our great guns, according to this report, couldn’t
shoot with any commonplace weapons. Telling effects! Good joke
this; play on the name “ Tell,” who was a remarkably good shot in
his way. Ha! ha! ha! Capital. See how yesterday is mildly rebuked
for its weather. Their Royal Highnesses found the game. Yery kind
of their Royal Highnesses, specially as it was Hr the benefit of the
Correspondent. Real enjoyment! Dehghtiul ccene, peculiarly English!
Was the writer present ? behind a tree setting out of the way of the
telling effects.
We suspect that our pennywise Inend was up a “hollow beech tree”
in the neighbourhood, and it required some extra fine writing before
could “comedown,” and defray the score at the Woodpecker’s
Tap in the Woods, where “ the smoke so gracefully curl’d” from his
’’niar-root pipe, and obfuscated him.
THE FEENIAN EAUGH-A-BALLAGH.
It’s down wid the Orange and up wid the Green,
From across the Atlantic, to Erin’s fair shore,
Since that banner waved proudly in Ryan’s boreen,
’Gainst the Saxon it never has come to the fore:
When bould Smith O’Brien, in the cabbage formed line,
Saxon hirelings the flag of the Feenian fleered at:
But let us once put in ould Ireland a fut,
And we ’ll ate up John Bull, wid the cabbage he jeered at.
Up, Feenian Brotherhood—up like one man.
And pay down your money, nor ask a receipt:
Sons of Great Fin Mac Cool, be as cool as you can,
Wid revenge on the Saxon your timpers to beat:
Wid the States at our back, and the clargy at home,
Sure our flag will soon wave upon Liffey’s fair quay.
And as moighty St. Pathrick druv snakes o’er the foam,
So the base bloody Saxon we ’ll drive over say!
Then the Feenian Brotherhood all in their moight,
Ou the ould hill of Tara a council will hold,
Wid green robes on their backs, a most iligant soight.
And all wearin’ Malaehi’s collars o’ gold:
And we’ll bring back the fine ould Milesian toimes,
And the seven wise masthers instal in our schools;
And we ’ll find out descindants of Brian Boroihme’s,
To sway the green isle that the Saxon misrules!
And we’ll have back the glib and the saffron-dyed robe
That was worn by the chieftains who warred ’gin the Pale,
And we’ll send Irish Letthers and Arts o’er the globe,
And for Pathrick and Piran, crown Docthor Mac Hale.
And we ’ll put down the Peelers, and mane Saxon laws,
That keep up distinction ’twixt meurn and turne,
And we ’ll wait till the Feenian Republic o’eravves
The Kingdom of England and reigns in its room.
We’ll restore the ould families,—every man Jack,—
To the acres, tuk from them by Protestant band ;
And we ’ll have our Milesian Capital back,
When the base Saxon Capital’s druv from the land!
The sthrames will run butter-milk, bogs dry outright.
Potheen won’t upset the Milesian brain,
Irish pathriots won’t job, Irish factions won’t fight,
And the Phoeuix will build in her own Park again!
A RESPECTABLE ACT OF FAITH.
It is reported, says a contemporary, that the Spanish Government
intends “ attempting to consolidate the whole of the heterogeneous
debt of the country.” We hope this means that Queen_ Isabella’s
Ministers are going to create Consols for the purpose of paying the
foreign creditors of Spain the interest of their money. This step will
become the advisers of a Sovereign who affects the title of Catholic.
They will very much improve upon it by paying up the arrears of divi-
dend due to those long-suffering persons who have trusted their nation.
One entirely laudable dogma of Catholicism is, that which enjoins
restitution. If the Spaniards will only evince their zeal for that faith
on which they pride themselves by putting this point of it in practice,
they will at any rate gain some credit, whereas otherwise they will never
be trusted.
Epigram on Society and Individuals.
BY A CYNIC.
The Many go absurdly wrong
In common with their kind ;
Not few in self-conceit are strong
As they are weak of mind;
Thus, for example, to produce
A case of either class,
There’s Tomkins a gregarious goose :
Brown, an egregious ass.
All of a Piece.
Mr. Charles Mathews still persists in maintaining that he is the
author of the original farce, on which If Anglais Timide is founded,
which he knows as well as we do that he is not. In only one respect
can he make good his title, and that is in the boldness of the assertion,
which certainly is As Cool as a Cucumber. However, coolness on the
part of our friend Charles is decidedly misplaced under the head of
VarietSs, which is the name of the theatre where the felonious act waf
committed.