DOI issue:
September 16, 1865
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16876#0124
112
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .September 16, 1865.
Cabby (in withering Accents on receiving Sixpence). “ Fair Sex ! Hunfair Sex, I calls ter ! ’cordin’ to my ’xper'ence of ter ! ”
THE WEATHER AND THE PARKS.
Dear Punch, September 5, 6, 7, 8.
I promised you several meteo-&c. (too long a word) letters.
Couldn’t do it before; can’t now. Heat on Thursday and Friday tre-
mendous. Sun nothing in the shade. There is no shade. I have
purchased a refrigerator, and shall sit in it all day. This letter’s taken
me such a time on account of a fly. I am now, without rising, going to
kill him. He has flown. Let me return to my subject: the Parks.
The weather is the same in the Parks, I suppose, as here : go and see.
I don’t know what position is best; chairs and sofas “ all hot.” Good
bye, I retire to my refrigerator. Yours ]anguidlyi
An 0! the-Heat’un !
P.S. O' the Heat'un. Can’t do anything funnier this weather. I
laughed at it. Once. Really.
P.S. 1 send a fly for dissection. Inquest and p.m. exam. 2 p.m.
A Trifle from the Humber.
“ Down with Dutch yeast,” Hull, frantic, cries,
“ The rascal Dutchmen put clay to it;
The only Clay we wish to Rise
Is one whom we elect to do it.”
Land of Green Ginger.
NOTICE TO GEOGRAPHERS.
“ Owhyhee, where Captain Cook was killed ” has been for years
inscribed on our globes, to mark a place inhabited by Savages. Our
globe-makers henceforth will be good enough, with the self-same object,
to mark “ Prussia, where Alfred’s Cook was killed.”
Caution-Money.—The best is that which a man has earned for
himself.—Banker's Magazine, and Bunch.
0
CONJURORS IN FEATHERS.
The Birds of Aristophanes are puzzling enough, as many a school-
boy knows, but twenty times more puzzling are the birds of Ma’amselle
Van der Meersch.
These birds, if they were taught to play at cards as well as peck at
them, would soon be brought before a Beak, and charged with being card-
sharpers. There is a certain Java sparrow that, because of his red poll,
we presume,has neen named “ Cardinal; ” and this Cardinal is really so
clever with the cards, that we should hardly be surprised to see him play-
ing double dummy, and clawing his three tricks for a revoke made by his
adversary. Just ask him for the ace of spades, or any club or diamond
which you. have set your heart upon, and he is off like a bird, and never
rests till he has picked it out, and, so to speak, has played it. His
teacher only knows how much time and patience she has spent upon his
training: but the result is that her Cardinal seems cleverer than
Richelieu, and more cunning than De Retz.
P/NTAGRUELISM.
Mr. David Salomons, in the Star, recommends that all cows, under
medical treatment, should have given to them, several times a day,
certain “ stimulants, such as strong ale with gruel, or brandy with
gruel.” Perhaps the “ strong ale and brandy ” would not be a bad
thing for the poor creatures to revive their animal spirits. We fancy
there are hundreds of poor agriculturists, who, whether ill or not,
would not mind being subjected to the same “ medical treatment
only, if they were allowed a choice, they might probably prefer “ the
brandy, and the strong ale,” without the gruel.
A Want of the Age.—Wanted, to enable agriculturists to contend
with the present prevailing epidemic, a new Farmercopcea.
The only Side a Sensible Man now takes.—The Seaside.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. .September 16, 1865.
Cabby (in withering Accents on receiving Sixpence). “ Fair Sex ! Hunfair Sex, I calls ter ! ’cordin’ to my ’xper'ence of ter ! ”
THE WEATHER AND THE PARKS.
Dear Punch, September 5, 6, 7, 8.
I promised you several meteo-&c. (too long a word) letters.
Couldn’t do it before; can’t now. Heat on Thursday and Friday tre-
mendous. Sun nothing in the shade. There is no shade. I have
purchased a refrigerator, and shall sit in it all day. This letter’s taken
me such a time on account of a fly. I am now, without rising, going to
kill him. He has flown. Let me return to my subject: the Parks.
The weather is the same in the Parks, I suppose, as here : go and see.
I don’t know what position is best; chairs and sofas “ all hot.” Good
bye, I retire to my refrigerator. Yours ]anguidlyi
An 0! the-Heat’un !
P.S. O' the Heat'un. Can’t do anything funnier this weather. I
laughed at it. Once. Really.
P.S. 1 send a fly for dissection. Inquest and p.m. exam. 2 p.m.
A Trifle from the Humber.
“ Down with Dutch yeast,” Hull, frantic, cries,
“ The rascal Dutchmen put clay to it;
The only Clay we wish to Rise
Is one whom we elect to do it.”
Land of Green Ginger.
NOTICE TO GEOGRAPHERS.
“ Owhyhee, where Captain Cook was killed ” has been for years
inscribed on our globes, to mark a place inhabited by Savages. Our
globe-makers henceforth will be good enough, with the self-same object,
to mark “ Prussia, where Alfred’s Cook was killed.”
Caution-Money.—The best is that which a man has earned for
himself.—Banker's Magazine, and Bunch.
0
CONJURORS IN FEATHERS.
The Birds of Aristophanes are puzzling enough, as many a school-
boy knows, but twenty times more puzzling are the birds of Ma’amselle
Van der Meersch.
These birds, if they were taught to play at cards as well as peck at
them, would soon be brought before a Beak, and charged with being card-
sharpers. There is a certain Java sparrow that, because of his red poll,
we presume,has neen named “ Cardinal; ” and this Cardinal is really so
clever with the cards, that we should hardly be surprised to see him play-
ing double dummy, and clawing his three tricks for a revoke made by his
adversary. Just ask him for the ace of spades, or any club or diamond
which you. have set your heart upon, and he is off like a bird, and never
rests till he has picked it out, and, so to speak, has played it. His
teacher only knows how much time and patience she has spent upon his
training: but the result is that her Cardinal seems cleverer than
Richelieu, and more cunning than De Retz.
P/NTAGRUELISM.
Mr. David Salomons, in the Star, recommends that all cows, under
medical treatment, should have given to them, several times a day,
certain “ stimulants, such as strong ale with gruel, or brandy with
gruel.” Perhaps the “ strong ale and brandy ” would not be a bad
thing for the poor creatures to revive their animal spirits. We fancy
there are hundreds of poor agriculturists, who, whether ill or not,
would not mind being subjected to the same “ medical treatment
only, if they were allowed a choice, they might probably prefer “ the
brandy, and the strong ale,” without the gruel.
A Want of the Age.—Wanted, to enable agriculturists to contend
with the present prevailing epidemic, a new Farmercopcea.
The only Side a Sensible Man now takes.—The Seaside.