Punch (49.1865)

December 30,

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

255

THE WAITS.

THESE ARE THE ONLY ONES TO WHOM MB. P. GIVES A CHRISTMAS-BOX !

A STEP IN THE ALDER-
MAN’S WALK.

0! my sweet Beef, there is a slice,
A certain cut from thy Sirloin;

It is so good, it is so nice !

Therein doth fibre fluid join,

And thus the meat with gravy run
Of scarlet hue, profusely shed ;

Whence some suppose it under-
done—

0 great mistake !—because ’tis
red.

It melteth in the mouth away,
How soft, how succulent, how
sweet!

Well done ; yet so that in it stay
Conserved the juices of the meat.

But only Beef of largest size
Doth this especial Cut afford.

Help, and console yourselves, ye
Wise,

Whose Christmas asks an ample
Board.

Veterinary Homoeopathy.

Homceopathy was said to have ,
done wonders in the cattle disease,
of which, however, it has not as |
yet arrested the progress. Perhaps,
on further trial, it may prove more I
successful. On the principle that
like is cured by like in extremely j
small quantities, the veterinary I
homceopathists might try on their j
bovine patients infinitesimal doses
of the tune that the old cow
died of.

THE WHIGS OE AULD LANG SYNE.

{The Premier and the New Peers.)

Should auld supporters be forgot.

And never brought to mind ?

Should auld Whigs be remembered not
By Whigs of auld lang syne.

Eor auld lang syne, my friends,

Eor auld lang syne;

W e ’ll gie ye baith a Peerage yet,

Eor auld lang syne.

We three hae tasted aft, at times,

The sweets of office fine;

And sighed for place for mony a day,

Sin’ auld lang syne.

Eor auld, &c.

We three hae paddled, in our turn.

The River down, to dine.

And whiles without the whitebait gane,

Sin’ auld lang syne.

Eor auld, &c.

Noo, gie’s a lift, my trusty friends,

And here’s a lift o’ mine ;

And we ’ll tak’ a right guid Johnnie-waught
Eor auld lang syne.

Eor auld lang, &c.

And surely ye ’ll be your staunch votes,

As sure ye ’re friends o’ mine,

And we’ll tak’ a stoup o’ Gladstone yet
Eor auld lang syne.

For auld, &c.

A Tall Notion.

A Quotation that does not apply to Chang or Anak :—

“ The world knows nothing of its greatest men.”

Philip Van Artevelde, Act 1., Scene 5.

SHAKSPEARE IN SILENCE.

Songs without words are familiar in our ears ; but it is a novelty to
hear of plays without words audible. Yet the Athenaeum tells us where
this curious stage phenomenon has recently been witnessed:—

“ The drama is in active use at several of our asylums. Very recently, Shak-
speare’s Henry IV., (arranged by Mr. Patterson) was performed by deaf and
dumb pupils, in presence of their deaf and dumb school feHows and an interested
body of spectators, rather than audience, at Manchester. The text was conveyed
through the * sign-language ’ familiar to the pupils, and it was easily followed by
the other spectators.”

A capital notion this of playing Shakspeare in dumb show. We
hope some London Manager will take the hint and act upon it. “ Not
to speak profanely ” of any stage celebrities, it would be a great relief
if one could see a play of Shakspeare’s, without hearing Shak-
speare’s language mumbled, mouthed, or murdered otherwise. A
troupe of clever pantomimists might readily be trained to strike the
proper attitudes, and make the gestures fitted to the speeches in a play;
while the audience could mentally supply the missing words. The eye
would thus be satisfied by the sight of a stage-show, while the ear
would not be tortured by emphasis used wrongly and English mispro-
nounced. Many persons, when they are asked to go and hear a play of
Shakspeare’s, reply, “ No, thank you, I prefer to read it to myself.”
Yet, while reading, they might like to see the scenery and dresses ; nor
might they object even to the presence of the actors, if their mouths
were only shut, and their tongues thus kept aloof from mutilation of
the text.

A BIT OE BERLIN WOOL.

It is not often that Mr. Punch can do himself the pleasure of printing
one of the millions of letters which he receives, though he reads every-
one of them with the most eager desire to find a diamond in the chaff.
But he has just perused a communication from a German friend, in
whose favour Mr. Punch is tempted to make an exception, and he yields
to the temptation. He would like to gladden the Christmas households
with a veritable specimen of German wit. Here it is, verbatim et
literatim:—

What is the difference between a smaU-ODe and the thirthieth of February

y. g. i. u. 1

The small-one is not-a-taU and

the 30th,"h of Febray is not-at-all —

1 Hecemb. 65. Yours, W. S., Berlin.