DOI Heft:
November 11, 1865
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16876#0195
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
183
November 11, 1865.
SOMETHING FROM THE PROVINCES.
Excursionist (politely). “ Can you kindly Direct me the Nearest Way to
Slagley ? ”
Powerful Navvy. “ Ah can Poonch th’ Head o’ thee ! ”
[Excursionist retires hastily.
EXTRA-LATE UNIVERSITY INTELLIGENCE.
Oxford, Nov.
Exhibitions have been awarded to several distinguished
people. The Emperor of the Erench is to hold his in
two years’ time.
The Linacre Professor of Anatomy is to lecture upon
“ The Fragments of the Greek Philosophers.” On alter-
nate days he will lecture on “ Critical Operations, includ-
ing the Art of Cutting up an Author.”
The Professor of Political Economy backs himself to dine
at the Clarendon (London) with any one.
The Rawlinsonian Professor intends to lie in bed as late
I as he likes during the cold weather.
The Teacher of the German Language proposes to have
some fun this term. He won’t give any Lectures.
Cambridge.
The Carus Prize has been adjudged to the most deserving
candidate.
The Don’t-Care-us Prize has been presented to an incorri-
gible Under-graduate on his Rustication.
College of St. Bees.
The Term will commence on the usual day, when the
Students will meet in the Hall, and inaugurate the Season
by singing Dr. Watts’s “ How doth the little,” &c.
The following notice of Lectures for the ensuing Term
has been issued:—
The Professor of Languages will lecture on “ The English
Alphabet: its Use and Abuse.” _ Students who omitted their
“ H ” course last term, are specially invited to attend. Has-
pirants for Honours will have a Hextra Lesson. The pre-
sent series will not reach beyond words of two syllables.
The Queen B. Professor of Morality will lecture on
“ The Government of the English Tongue.” Subject: the
Nominative Case and Verb.
Colonel Stodare will attend twice a week, to lecture
on “The Rudiments of Natural Magic, better known as
Spelling.”
The Principal of St. Bees will hold Examinations on the
first Monday of every Month. These will be held in his
own house :—
“ Principio sedes apibus statioque petenda.”
Virg. Georg., lib. iv. .
(Translation.) “ The Principal's place of residence must be sought by
the Beesmien."
Singing.—The Learned Professor of Vocal Music at St.
Bees will, in future, be the well-known English buffo, Mr.
Honey.
THE SHEFFIELD TONIC FOR CHILDREN.
A New tonic has been discovered by a gentleman of Sheffield, named
Ironside. A curious coincidence is suggested by the fact that Iron
itself is a very powerful tonic. The tonic, however, discovered by Mr.
Ironside, is nothing of his own name, but may be described as free
caloric in combination with carbonic and sulphurous acid gas, and other
gases the result of combustion.
The Town Council of Sheffield met together the other day, for the
purpose of taking into consideration the Report of the Children’s Em-
ployment Commission relative to the overworking of children practised
in the trades of that town. According to that Report, a boy, only nine
years old, living at Wadsley. four or five miles from Sheffield, was obliged
by his father to work as cellar-boy in one of the furnaces, on most days
of the week from six in the morning to six or seven in the evening, and
on Saturdays from three in the morning till three in the afternoon. This
enforced labour at a high temperature would, if only occasional, appear
to be equivalent to a somewhat long compulsory innings in the Turkish
bath. Imposed nearly every day, it may be considered by some who
do not .consider too deeply, to constitute a combination of the Turkish
bath with Turkish tyranny, and tyranny about as barbarous as ever was
practised in Turkev. Mr. Ironside, however, defended its imposition.
He regards it as having the beneficial operation of the Turkish bath
alone—that of invigorating the svstem. The Report, with reference to
the boy above mentioned, stated that on Eriday nights, when it was
too late for him to go home, he had to sleep on the floor of the furnace,
“ with an apron under him, and a bit of jacket over him.” Of the
dormitory which he thus occupied on the night of every Friday, Mr.
Ironside declared that “ the place would certainly be warm ana com-
fortable ; ” rather, to be sure, one would think, less comfortable than
warm, like another place which politeness forbids anybody but a clergy-
man to mention to such employers as those of whom Mr. Ironside is
the apologist.
Warmth and comfort are of course conducive to health; but the
comfort and the warmth of the atmosphere of a furnace-house are repre-
sented by Mr. Ironside has having quite a peculiar effect in sustaining
the youthful stamina. For these are words which that physiological
philanthropist is further reported to have spoken on the above-mentioned
occasion:—
“ A girl in Ingleson’s tobacco manufactory, ten years old, could not answer a
single question in arithmetic. He (Mr. Ironside) was not sorry for it, because Iris
idea was that at that age children should be exercising their bodies and getting
their bodies strengthened.”
That is to say, they ought to be exercising their bodies by working
in a furnace-room some twelve hours a day, and getting their bodies
strengthened by inhaling the gaseous products given off from the coke
or coal burning in the furnace. Hot air impregnated with these
salubrious additions, inhaled during hard labour for half a day, is the
tonic for children of tender age which has been discovered by
Mr. Ironside. By the way is Mr. Ironside the representative of
any of those Ironsides who fought under Cromwell, and whom the
great Protector described as “men who have a conscience of what
they do ? ” ... ,
"Very likely the Sheffield or Ironside Tonic will supersede Cod Liver
Oil, and children threatened with consumption will be recommended
simply, removal to Sheffield furnace-houses, and others, for change
of air.
For the discovery of his new Tonic for children, Mr. Ironside
cannot of course take out a patent; but he ought not to go unrewarded.
The Medical Council may think it right to present him with an
honorary diploma, and perhaps, also, he will be elected a Fellow of
the Royal Society.
Hoax about Indian Hemp.
A Recent impression of Allen's Indian Mail contradicts a report
that high rank in the civil service of India is held by the two sons of
Mr. Calcraft, the Finisher of the Law. We are justified in further
stating that no official in that service has even any such hangers-on.
183
November 11, 1865.
SOMETHING FROM THE PROVINCES.
Excursionist (politely). “ Can you kindly Direct me the Nearest Way to
Slagley ? ”
Powerful Navvy. “ Ah can Poonch th’ Head o’ thee ! ”
[Excursionist retires hastily.
EXTRA-LATE UNIVERSITY INTELLIGENCE.
Oxford, Nov.
Exhibitions have been awarded to several distinguished
people. The Emperor of the Erench is to hold his in
two years’ time.
The Linacre Professor of Anatomy is to lecture upon
“ The Fragments of the Greek Philosophers.” On alter-
nate days he will lecture on “ Critical Operations, includ-
ing the Art of Cutting up an Author.”
The Professor of Political Economy backs himself to dine
at the Clarendon (London) with any one.
The Rawlinsonian Professor intends to lie in bed as late
I as he likes during the cold weather.
The Teacher of the German Language proposes to have
some fun this term. He won’t give any Lectures.
Cambridge.
The Carus Prize has been adjudged to the most deserving
candidate.
The Don’t-Care-us Prize has been presented to an incorri-
gible Under-graduate on his Rustication.
College of St. Bees.
The Term will commence on the usual day, when the
Students will meet in the Hall, and inaugurate the Season
by singing Dr. Watts’s “ How doth the little,” &c.
The following notice of Lectures for the ensuing Term
has been issued:—
The Professor of Languages will lecture on “ The English
Alphabet: its Use and Abuse.” _ Students who omitted their
“ H ” course last term, are specially invited to attend. Has-
pirants for Honours will have a Hextra Lesson. The pre-
sent series will not reach beyond words of two syllables.
The Queen B. Professor of Morality will lecture on
“ The Government of the English Tongue.” Subject: the
Nominative Case and Verb.
Colonel Stodare will attend twice a week, to lecture
on “The Rudiments of Natural Magic, better known as
Spelling.”
The Principal of St. Bees will hold Examinations on the
first Monday of every Month. These will be held in his
own house :—
“ Principio sedes apibus statioque petenda.”
Virg. Georg., lib. iv. .
(Translation.) “ The Principal's place of residence must be sought by
the Beesmien."
Singing.—The Learned Professor of Vocal Music at St.
Bees will, in future, be the well-known English buffo, Mr.
Honey.
THE SHEFFIELD TONIC FOR CHILDREN.
A New tonic has been discovered by a gentleman of Sheffield, named
Ironside. A curious coincidence is suggested by the fact that Iron
itself is a very powerful tonic. The tonic, however, discovered by Mr.
Ironside, is nothing of his own name, but may be described as free
caloric in combination with carbonic and sulphurous acid gas, and other
gases the result of combustion.
The Town Council of Sheffield met together the other day, for the
purpose of taking into consideration the Report of the Children’s Em-
ployment Commission relative to the overworking of children practised
in the trades of that town. According to that Report, a boy, only nine
years old, living at Wadsley. four or five miles from Sheffield, was obliged
by his father to work as cellar-boy in one of the furnaces, on most days
of the week from six in the morning to six or seven in the evening, and
on Saturdays from three in the morning till three in the afternoon. This
enforced labour at a high temperature would, if only occasional, appear
to be equivalent to a somewhat long compulsory innings in the Turkish
bath. Imposed nearly every day, it may be considered by some who
do not .consider too deeply, to constitute a combination of the Turkish
bath with Turkish tyranny, and tyranny about as barbarous as ever was
practised in Turkev. Mr. Ironside, however, defended its imposition.
He regards it as having the beneficial operation of the Turkish bath
alone—that of invigorating the svstem. The Report, with reference to
the boy above mentioned, stated that on Eriday nights, when it was
too late for him to go home, he had to sleep on the floor of the furnace,
“ with an apron under him, and a bit of jacket over him.” Of the
dormitory which he thus occupied on the night of every Friday, Mr.
Ironside declared that “ the place would certainly be warm ana com-
fortable ; ” rather, to be sure, one would think, less comfortable than
warm, like another place which politeness forbids anybody but a clergy-
man to mention to such employers as those of whom Mr. Ironside is
the apologist.
Warmth and comfort are of course conducive to health; but the
comfort and the warmth of the atmosphere of a furnace-house are repre-
sented by Mr. Ironside has having quite a peculiar effect in sustaining
the youthful stamina. For these are words which that physiological
philanthropist is further reported to have spoken on the above-mentioned
occasion:—
“ A girl in Ingleson’s tobacco manufactory, ten years old, could not answer a
single question in arithmetic. He (Mr. Ironside) was not sorry for it, because Iris
idea was that at that age children should be exercising their bodies and getting
their bodies strengthened.”
That is to say, they ought to be exercising their bodies by working
in a furnace-room some twelve hours a day, and getting their bodies
strengthened by inhaling the gaseous products given off from the coke
or coal burning in the furnace. Hot air impregnated with these
salubrious additions, inhaled during hard labour for half a day, is the
tonic for children of tender age which has been discovered by
Mr. Ironside. By the way is Mr. Ironside the representative of
any of those Ironsides who fought under Cromwell, and whom the
great Protector described as “men who have a conscience of what
they do ? ” ... ,
"Very likely the Sheffield or Ironside Tonic will supersede Cod Liver
Oil, and children threatened with consumption will be recommended
simply, removal to Sheffield furnace-houses, and others, for change
of air.
For the discovery of his new Tonic for children, Mr. Ironside
cannot of course take out a patent; but he ought not to go unrewarded.
The Medical Council may think it right to present him with an
honorary diploma, and perhaps, also, he will be elected a Fellow of
the Royal Society.
Hoax about Indian Hemp.
A Recent impression of Allen's Indian Mail contradicts a report
that high rank in the civil service of India is held by the two sons of
Mr. Calcraft, the Finisher of the Law. We are justified in further
stating that no official in that service has even any such hangers-on.