DOI issue:
October 7, 1865
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16876#0146
154
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 7, 1865.
ALL IN THE DOWNS.
five minutes of descriptive music, another Waiter enters with tea
and two eggs. The Visitors revive.
<H Tragic Tvanb^otrl ©pcra in JFour Stefs anti a Hot of Tableaux.
BY A. SUFFERER, ESQ.
{Continued from page 125.)
ACT III.
Scene 1 .—A Private Boom in the Grand Hotel.
Mr. and Mrs. 1st Passenger discovered, sitting on sofa. The hands of
the Clock point to Nine. Time: Morning.
Mr. 1st Pass, {recitative'). Three quarters of an hour gone,
Yet cometh not the breakfast. {Rings.)
Mrs. 1st Pass. I faint! I gasp !
Mr. 1st Pass. Nay, despond not, dear one. {Rings.)
Why answer they not the summ-
Enter Grand Waiter, icith nothing.
Grand Waiter. Yon rang, Sir ?
Mr. 1st Pass, {indignantly). Kang!! Did I!
Romanza {Minor Key).
At half-past seven,
When in my bed-room, I
Ordered the morning meal;
So hungry did I feel,
That we, who are not late,
Said fifteen minutes past eight;
But still behold I wait.
It comes not!
Giand Waiter. Sir, to it will I see. {Quick Movement.)
{Remonstratively and explanatory.) You ordered it not of me.
{Promissory.) But here it will soon be :
Let’s say in minutes three. [Exit, capering.
Mr. 1st Pass. Cheer up! A biscuit in my pocket I have got.
[.Nibbles the remains of a cracknell.
Mrs. 1st Pass, {refusing to nibble). Cheer up! Alas, no biscuit, not
a lot
Of such confections would supply
The place of breakfast. No. I faint! I die !!
[<Symphony. Mr. 1st Passenger comforts Mrs. 1st Passenger
until Clock hand points to 20 minutes past nine.
Mr. 1st Pass. This is too bad. I will no
longer stay
My hand.
[Rings violently. Enter a New Waiter.
Why, tell me, this delay?
New Waiter {indignantly). I know of this
no more
Than you yourself; I served you not before.
Mr. 1st Pass, {furiously). The breakfast,
slave !
{Plaintively.) One hour and five moments
have 1 waited.
{Angrily.) But I will complain,
And this, this again
1 never, never, never, never
Will put up with.
New Waiter {agreeing). It is indeed too bad;
But see the distance dishes have to rise. [Deprecatingly.
Mrs. 1st Pass, {in a faint voice). But there’s the Lift. [Closes her eyes.
New Waiter {also complaining). Ah yes; but when we tries
To get the Cook to execute our wishes.
He says he cannot serve in time the dishes;
And add to this, believe I do not joke.
The Lift has ceased to act; in fact, ’tis broke.
{Chord. Exit, waving napkin.
Mr. 1st Pass. Horror !
[Falls into an arm-chair, Mrs. 1st Passenger faints on sofa ; after
Mr. 1st Pass, {rubbing his hands). The bread! the butter! and the
fish, I pray.
Waiter. I prithee, be content. {Exit, scornfully.
Mrs. 1st Pass. Ah! luckless day !
Mr. 1st Pass, {rings more violently than ever. Enter an Entirely
Fresh Waiter.) Where is my Waiter? The one of whom
I ordered—
Entirely Fresh Waiter. Sir, I will send him. Anon,
anon ! [Exit quickly, and is no more seen.
[The eggs get cold, they drink the tea and wish for
spoons, the hands of the Clock point to Ten.
Mr. and Mrs. 1st Pass. Torture no more will we
endure,
Our breakfast we can not secure,
Although the time we name;
We did for dinner last night wait,
’Twas more than half an hour late,
And lunch’on was the same.
[Mr. 1st Passenger gets his hat, and Mrs. 1st Passenger staggers
towards her bonnet.
Duet. {Comingforward.)
The Manager we ’ll seek,
To him we will speak.
Justice and right
Por the Englishman ! ! !
[They embrace. He waves his umbrella
and she her parasol; they rush to the
door, and are going out, as a Grand
New Waiter enters, bearing one fried
sole and an egg-spoon. Tableau. Scene
closes.
Scene 2.—The Gentlemen's Coffee-Room. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Pas-
sengers discovered at various tables. Other Visitors, looking pale
and hungry, are picking bits of crusts off the rolls, or playing feebly
with the salt at tables in different parts of the room. Waiters conversing,
lounging, and hustling about nothing.
2nd Pass. Waiter, when is my breakfast coming ?
Waiter. Have you ordered it, Sir ?
2nd Pass. Have I ordered it ! ! ! {Chord.)
2nd, Zrd, and 1th Passengers {rising and coming forward).
Aria.
2nd Pass. ’Tvvas when Aurora’s light
Succeeded darksome night,
3rd and 1th Pass. Kat.aplan.
2nd Pass. That each of us here rang his bell
In his own room of this Grand Hotel,
All. And ordered and ordered our morning repast.
{Solemnly) Our breakfast!
Invisible Chorus from Ladies' Coffee-room { faintly).
Our breakfast!
Waiters {to one another, pianissimo). Their breakfast!
Bravura.
2nd Pass. At hal f-past eight we said it should be,
’Tis ten o’clock now.
And here I vow
We’ve neither fish, eggs, nor tea-e-e !
All. | xi®/>ve i Neitber e™s> nor tea-
[All Visitors in Gentlemen's Coffee-Room rising and coming forward,
threateningly shaking aloft their knives, forks, spoons, toothpicks,
pencils, 8fC.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[October 7, 1865.
ALL IN THE DOWNS.
five minutes of descriptive music, another Waiter enters with tea
and two eggs. The Visitors revive.
<H Tragic Tvanb^otrl ©pcra in JFour Stefs anti a Hot of Tableaux.
BY A. SUFFERER, ESQ.
{Continued from page 125.)
ACT III.
Scene 1 .—A Private Boom in the Grand Hotel.
Mr. and Mrs. 1st Passenger discovered, sitting on sofa. The hands of
the Clock point to Nine. Time: Morning.
Mr. 1st Pass, {recitative'). Three quarters of an hour gone,
Yet cometh not the breakfast. {Rings.)
Mrs. 1st Pass. I faint! I gasp !
Mr. 1st Pass. Nay, despond not, dear one. {Rings.)
Why answer they not the summ-
Enter Grand Waiter, icith nothing.
Grand Waiter. Yon rang, Sir ?
Mr. 1st Pass, {indignantly). Kang!! Did I!
Romanza {Minor Key).
At half-past seven,
When in my bed-room, I
Ordered the morning meal;
So hungry did I feel,
That we, who are not late,
Said fifteen minutes past eight;
But still behold I wait.
It comes not!
Giand Waiter. Sir, to it will I see. {Quick Movement.)
{Remonstratively and explanatory.) You ordered it not of me.
{Promissory.) But here it will soon be :
Let’s say in minutes three. [Exit, capering.
Mr. 1st Pass. Cheer up! A biscuit in my pocket I have got.
[.Nibbles the remains of a cracknell.
Mrs. 1st Pass, {refusing to nibble). Cheer up! Alas, no biscuit, not
a lot
Of such confections would supply
The place of breakfast. No. I faint! I die !!
[<Symphony. Mr. 1st Passenger comforts Mrs. 1st Passenger
until Clock hand points to 20 minutes past nine.
Mr. 1st Pass. This is too bad. I will no
longer stay
My hand.
[Rings violently. Enter a New Waiter.
Why, tell me, this delay?
New Waiter {indignantly). I know of this
no more
Than you yourself; I served you not before.
Mr. 1st Pass, {furiously). The breakfast,
slave !
{Plaintively.) One hour and five moments
have 1 waited.
{Angrily.) But I will complain,
And this, this again
1 never, never, never, never
Will put up with.
New Waiter {agreeing). It is indeed too bad;
But see the distance dishes have to rise. [Deprecatingly.
Mrs. 1st Pass, {in a faint voice). But there’s the Lift. [Closes her eyes.
New Waiter {also complaining). Ah yes; but when we tries
To get the Cook to execute our wishes.
He says he cannot serve in time the dishes;
And add to this, believe I do not joke.
The Lift has ceased to act; in fact, ’tis broke.
{Chord. Exit, waving napkin.
Mr. 1st Pass. Horror !
[Falls into an arm-chair, Mrs. 1st Passenger faints on sofa ; after
Mr. 1st Pass, {rubbing his hands). The bread! the butter! and the
fish, I pray.
Waiter. I prithee, be content. {Exit, scornfully.
Mrs. 1st Pass. Ah! luckless day !
Mr. 1st Pass, {rings more violently than ever. Enter an Entirely
Fresh Waiter.) Where is my Waiter? The one of whom
I ordered—
Entirely Fresh Waiter. Sir, I will send him. Anon,
anon ! [Exit quickly, and is no more seen.
[The eggs get cold, they drink the tea and wish for
spoons, the hands of the Clock point to Ten.
Mr. and Mrs. 1st Pass. Torture no more will we
endure,
Our breakfast we can not secure,
Although the time we name;
We did for dinner last night wait,
’Twas more than half an hour late,
And lunch’on was the same.
[Mr. 1st Passenger gets his hat, and Mrs. 1st Passenger staggers
towards her bonnet.
Duet. {Comingforward.)
The Manager we ’ll seek,
To him we will speak.
Justice and right
Por the Englishman ! ! !
[They embrace. He waves his umbrella
and she her parasol; they rush to the
door, and are going out, as a Grand
New Waiter enters, bearing one fried
sole and an egg-spoon. Tableau. Scene
closes.
Scene 2.—The Gentlemen's Coffee-Room. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Pas-
sengers discovered at various tables. Other Visitors, looking pale
and hungry, are picking bits of crusts off the rolls, or playing feebly
with the salt at tables in different parts of the room. Waiters conversing,
lounging, and hustling about nothing.
2nd Pass. Waiter, when is my breakfast coming ?
Waiter. Have you ordered it, Sir ?
2nd Pass. Have I ordered it ! ! ! {Chord.)
2nd, Zrd, and 1th Passengers {rising and coming forward).
Aria.
2nd Pass. ’Tvvas when Aurora’s light
Succeeded darksome night,
3rd and 1th Pass. Kat.aplan.
2nd Pass. That each of us here rang his bell
In his own room of this Grand Hotel,
All. And ordered and ordered our morning repast.
{Solemnly) Our breakfast!
Invisible Chorus from Ladies' Coffee-room { faintly).
Our breakfast!
Waiters {to one another, pianissimo). Their breakfast!
Bravura.
2nd Pass. At hal f-past eight we said it should be,
’Tis ten o’clock now.
And here I vow
We’ve neither fish, eggs, nor tea-e-e !
All. | xi®/>ve i Neitber e™s> nor tea-
[All Visitors in Gentlemen's Coffee-Room rising and coming forward,
threateningly shaking aloft their knives, forks, spoons, toothpicks,
pencils, 8fC.