DOI Heft:
November 4, 1865
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16876#0193
November 4, 1865.]
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
181
HEARTS AND LUTES.
he other night we
went to the New
Royalty Theatre, to
see Felix, or the Fes-
tival of Roses. Mr.
Galer was Felix,
everyone was assist-
ing at the Festival,
and the stalls and
pit, row after row,
were the rowses.
The music is by
Herr Meyer Lutz,
full of harmonies
enchanting, of flow-
ing melodies, but
only two or three
“toons” for popu-
lar whistlers of the
streets.
Herr M. Lutz
has not fed the
Organs, but, alas!
the Organs will con-
tinue to flourish even
without nourish-
ment from Dean
Street. The libretto
charmed us; ’twas
rhythmical and sen-
sible withal. Nor
had the librettist
omitted to take ad-
vantage of the
composer’s name.
“ Hark! ” says Don
Felice ** I liear
lutes ! W bereat the audience expect to hear the Composer, who con-
ducts his own opera, suddenly face about, and give them “some pretty
ldtle thing of his own.” Quoth the Prince, “Let us strike our
lutes! ” and a sympathetic tremor seizes the House, lest the Maestro
should be assaulted before their very eyes. But, oh! Miss Susan
Galton, niece of Miss Pyne, fresh is thy voice and playful is thy
performance; and when you next sing that charming ballad, “ Oh,
Faithless Lover! ” cast one glance, 0 Black-F/yed Susan, to cheer
your unhappy William, three from the end on the right-hand side,
with a daffy-down-dilly in his button-hole, drinking in thy dulcet
notes at the rate of so much dirty dross per minute, and cheap at any
price. Oh, my heart and Lutz ! Farewell!
INTELLECTUAL TREAT.
A Lecture was delivered yesterday at the Meeting Hall of the Con-
gregational Temperance Literary and Scientific Union, Humborough,
by the Rev. Ebenezer Jowles, on the subject of “The Strong Lan-
guage of Shakspeare.” Mr. Jowles lamented to say that the pages
ot the world-renowned Bard of Avon were painfully disfigured by ex-
pressions now chiefly in use amongst the humbler classes, though too
often employed, as expletives, in conversation by unconverted indi-
viduals moving in higher circles of society. As examples of the strong
language to which he referred, he particularly instanced the impreca-
tions put by Sharspeare into the mouth of Macbeth on “ those that
J^e •?irc* ®^ers> 0n the “ cream-faced loon,” and on himself or
Macduff, whichever of the two, in the combat about to ensue between
them, shall cry Hold! ” and express himself satisfied. The Reverend
Lecturer delivered these maledictory utterances with powerful emphasis
and effect, and an apparent gusto that was very amusing. His recita-
tion of the words and phrases, thus necessarily quoted for the purpose
of illustration, was received with great applause. After the Lecture
the assembly partook of tea and plum-cake, and then separated, de-
claring that they had tasted much sweetness.
Prussia’s Representative Man.
According to a telegram from Paris:—
Prussia has signified her willingness to send a representative to the Sanitary
Conference which is to be held at Constantinople.”
If Prussia is correctly represented by her representative, who will
consent to sit in the same room with him ? To represent Prussia, as
she is, a man must be the self-convicted speaker of the thing which is
not, and a criminal who has merited a legal, not a diplomatic ultimatum.
THE BERMONDSEY BUMBLES DEFYING THE
LIGHTNING.
The Law it may threaten, the Law it may thunder
From out of the heights of the Parliament’s sky,
The Board in Whitehall may bid Guardians knock under—
Commissioners, Commons, alike we defy.
The Bermondsey Board scorns the “ pie ” that’s called “ humble,’*
It will not be led, to be druv’ it don’t mean.
What’s the bidding of Law to the spirit of Bumble
Enshrined in its self-satisfaction serene P
You may style us inhuman, may brand us as stolid,
Penny-wise and pound-foolish our notions may call,
As respectable men our convictions are solid;
Pauper vermin like these to take in we’ve no call.
Ha’n’t they got penny-ropes for their night ’commodation ?
Aren’t there lots of dry arches ’neath which they may pig P—
A nice state of things, to let rags and starvation
Block the passage of Mr. Respectable’s gig!
Set ’em up with warm straw, and nice clean boards to lie on,
Cold water to drink, and six ounces of bread!
And but four hours’ stone-breaking next day to rely on
To repay us the cost of their board and their bed !
Ain’t it clear as the sun all the vagrants in London
Will be drawn by the bait of such lodgings and fare P
That Bermondsey Union by rates will be undone,
And the ’Ouse an hotel kept for casuals’ repair ?
They’ve no right to persist in obstructin’ the pavement
When the porter has put up “ The casual ward full; ”
It’s rates and not lives that us Boards is to save meant,
And Local Self-Government’s dear to John Bull.
In the snow and the sleet they’ve no right to lie huddled,
What’s the use of Police, but to bid ’em begone P—
Were the truth known, I dare say the most on ’em’s fuddled,
They should all be took up if they will not mov’ on !
PRESIDENT PAT.
(From the forthcoming History of Parliament.)
One blow and Ireland sprang from the head of her Saxon Enslaver
a new Minerva! Proudly and solemnly she then sat down to frame a
Republic worthy of Plato and Pat. Her first President had been a
workhouse porter and a night watchman. He was, therefore, eminently
fitted both for civil and military administration. The speech of Presi-
dent Pat on opening Congress developes his policy and his'well-digested
plans of legislative reform. Here are a few choice quotations :—
The Key-stone of Government is the blarney stone.
Political progress may always be accelerated by a bludgeon.
Our Institutions must be consolidated by soft soap and whacks.
The People’s Will is made known by manifesto, and by many fists too.
Every man shall be qualified to sit in Congress that is a 10 lb. pig-
holder, provided that the pig and the Member sleep under the same roof.
Members of Congress will be remunerated for their public services.
Gentlemen wearing gloves only to have the privilege of shaking the
President’s hand. The unwashed to be paid at the door.
Pipes will not be allowed on the Opposition benches, nor may any
Member take whiskey until challenged by the President.
Under no circumstances will a Member be suffered to sit with his
blunderbuss at full-cock, nor pointed at the President’s ear.
Our Ambassadors will be chosen from our most meritorious postmen,
so that they may have no difficulty in reading their letters.
The Foreign Office will be presided over by a patriotic Editor who
has travelled in New South Wales and is thoroughly conversant with
its language.
Instead of Bulwarks, the island will be fortified by Irish bulls; our
military engineers being of opinion that no other horn-works are so
efficient or necessary.
To prevent heart-burnings between Landlord and Tenant, a Govern-
ment collector of rents will be appointed, and tenant-right shall include
a power to shoot over the land, and at any one on it.
A Marked Man.
The Poet Close has been pelted with peas at Penrith for insulting
the good people there during a lecture. We hope the offence and
punishment will not be repeated, or else we shall be inclined to say
that the only part of our Close likely to become known to Posterity
will be the Pea-jacket.
PUNCH OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
181
HEARTS AND LUTES.
he other night we
went to the New
Royalty Theatre, to
see Felix, or the Fes-
tival of Roses. Mr.
Galer was Felix,
everyone was assist-
ing at the Festival,
and the stalls and
pit, row after row,
were the rowses.
The music is by
Herr Meyer Lutz,
full of harmonies
enchanting, of flow-
ing melodies, but
only two or three
“toons” for popu-
lar whistlers of the
streets.
Herr M. Lutz
has not fed the
Organs, but, alas!
the Organs will con-
tinue to flourish even
without nourish-
ment from Dean
Street. The libretto
charmed us; ’twas
rhythmical and sen-
sible withal. Nor
had the librettist
omitted to take ad-
vantage of the
composer’s name.
“ Hark! ” says Don
Felice ** I liear
lutes ! W bereat the audience expect to hear the Composer, who con-
ducts his own opera, suddenly face about, and give them “some pretty
ldtle thing of his own.” Quoth the Prince, “Let us strike our
lutes! ” and a sympathetic tremor seizes the House, lest the Maestro
should be assaulted before their very eyes. But, oh! Miss Susan
Galton, niece of Miss Pyne, fresh is thy voice and playful is thy
performance; and when you next sing that charming ballad, “ Oh,
Faithless Lover! ” cast one glance, 0 Black-F/yed Susan, to cheer
your unhappy William, three from the end on the right-hand side,
with a daffy-down-dilly in his button-hole, drinking in thy dulcet
notes at the rate of so much dirty dross per minute, and cheap at any
price. Oh, my heart and Lutz ! Farewell!
INTELLECTUAL TREAT.
A Lecture was delivered yesterday at the Meeting Hall of the Con-
gregational Temperance Literary and Scientific Union, Humborough,
by the Rev. Ebenezer Jowles, on the subject of “The Strong Lan-
guage of Shakspeare.” Mr. Jowles lamented to say that the pages
ot the world-renowned Bard of Avon were painfully disfigured by ex-
pressions now chiefly in use amongst the humbler classes, though too
often employed, as expletives, in conversation by unconverted indi-
viduals moving in higher circles of society. As examples of the strong
language to which he referred, he particularly instanced the impreca-
tions put by Sharspeare into the mouth of Macbeth on “ those that
J^e •?irc* ®^ers> 0n the “ cream-faced loon,” and on himself or
Macduff, whichever of the two, in the combat about to ensue between
them, shall cry Hold! ” and express himself satisfied. The Reverend
Lecturer delivered these maledictory utterances with powerful emphasis
and effect, and an apparent gusto that was very amusing. His recita-
tion of the words and phrases, thus necessarily quoted for the purpose
of illustration, was received with great applause. After the Lecture
the assembly partook of tea and plum-cake, and then separated, de-
claring that they had tasted much sweetness.
Prussia’s Representative Man.
According to a telegram from Paris:—
Prussia has signified her willingness to send a representative to the Sanitary
Conference which is to be held at Constantinople.”
If Prussia is correctly represented by her representative, who will
consent to sit in the same room with him ? To represent Prussia, as
she is, a man must be the self-convicted speaker of the thing which is
not, and a criminal who has merited a legal, not a diplomatic ultimatum.
THE BERMONDSEY BUMBLES DEFYING THE
LIGHTNING.
The Law it may threaten, the Law it may thunder
From out of the heights of the Parliament’s sky,
The Board in Whitehall may bid Guardians knock under—
Commissioners, Commons, alike we defy.
The Bermondsey Board scorns the “ pie ” that’s called “ humble,’*
It will not be led, to be druv’ it don’t mean.
What’s the bidding of Law to the spirit of Bumble
Enshrined in its self-satisfaction serene P
You may style us inhuman, may brand us as stolid,
Penny-wise and pound-foolish our notions may call,
As respectable men our convictions are solid;
Pauper vermin like these to take in we’ve no call.
Ha’n’t they got penny-ropes for their night ’commodation ?
Aren’t there lots of dry arches ’neath which they may pig P—
A nice state of things, to let rags and starvation
Block the passage of Mr. Respectable’s gig!
Set ’em up with warm straw, and nice clean boards to lie on,
Cold water to drink, and six ounces of bread!
And but four hours’ stone-breaking next day to rely on
To repay us the cost of their board and their bed !
Ain’t it clear as the sun all the vagrants in London
Will be drawn by the bait of such lodgings and fare P
That Bermondsey Union by rates will be undone,
And the ’Ouse an hotel kept for casuals’ repair ?
They’ve no right to persist in obstructin’ the pavement
When the porter has put up “ The casual ward full; ”
It’s rates and not lives that us Boards is to save meant,
And Local Self-Government’s dear to John Bull.
In the snow and the sleet they’ve no right to lie huddled,
What’s the use of Police, but to bid ’em begone P—
Were the truth known, I dare say the most on ’em’s fuddled,
They should all be took up if they will not mov’ on !
PRESIDENT PAT.
(From the forthcoming History of Parliament.)
One blow and Ireland sprang from the head of her Saxon Enslaver
a new Minerva! Proudly and solemnly she then sat down to frame a
Republic worthy of Plato and Pat. Her first President had been a
workhouse porter and a night watchman. He was, therefore, eminently
fitted both for civil and military administration. The speech of Presi-
dent Pat on opening Congress developes his policy and his'well-digested
plans of legislative reform. Here are a few choice quotations :—
The Key-stone of Government is the blarney stone.
Political progress may always be accelerated by a bludgeon.
Our Institutions must be consolidated by soft soap and whacks.
The People’s Will is made known by manifesto, and by many fists too.
Every man shall be qualified to sit in Congress that is a 10 lb. pig-
holder, provided that the pig and the Member sleep under the same roof.
Members of Congress will be remunerated for their public services.
Gentlemen wearing gloves only to have the privilege of shaking the
President’s hand. The unwashed to be paid at the door.
Pipes will not be allowed on the Opposition benches, nor may any
Member take whiskey until challenged by the President.
Under no circumstances will a Member be suffered to sit with his
blunderbuss at full-cock, nor pointed at the President’s ear.
Our Ambassadors will be chosen from our most meritorious postmen,
so that they may have no difficulty in reading their letters.
The Foreign Office will be presided over by a patriotic Editor who
has travelled in New South Wales and is thoroughly conversant with
its language.
Instead of Bulwarks, the island will be fortified by Irish bulls; our
military engineers being of opinion that no other horn-works are so
efficient or necessary.
To prevent heart-burnings between Landlord and Tenant, a Govern-
ment collector of rents will be appointed, and tenant-right shall include
a power to shoot over the land, and at any one on it.
A Marked Man.
The Poet Close has been pelted with peas at Penrith for insulting
the good people there during a lecture. We hope the offence and
punishment will not be repeated, or else we shall be inclined to say
that the only part of our Close likely to become known to Posterity
will be the Pea-jacket.