DOI issue:
November 18, 1865
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16876#0210
198 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 18, 1865.
DESCENDING FROM THE GENERAL TO THE PARTICULAR.
Honest Frenchman {in the ecstasy of his heart). “ Ah, Madame ! comme les Anglaises sont Belles ! ”
Charming Widow {appropriating the compliment). “Ah, Mocew ! com lay Fkongsay song flattewer ! ”
A WORD WITH MARROWBONES AND CLEAVERS.
0, mantled with celestial blue,
Arrayed as children of the sky ;
Say, there are none who can but you,
What makes the price of meat so high ?
Thou, Butcher, with a nimble grace,
Whetting bright blade on trusty steel;
Now tell me, how you can, with face.
Ask fifteen pence a pound for Veal ?
The Steak that shares a homely name
With Parliament renowned of yore,
Canst thou, without a sense of shame.
Put coolly down at one and four ?
That humbler steak, named simply beef,
Less soft of substance and more dense,
Wilt thou impose on our belief
As fairly worth a dozen pence ?
The price of joints from woolly dock,
That grazed upon the Southern hills,
Convulses us with fearful shock
Whene’er we scan our weekly bills.
For Mutton’s cost canst thou pretend
To state a reasonable ground;
O thou that legs and loins dost vend
High as one shilling both per pound ?
No scarcity of sheep and kine.
No murrain hath so heavy made
Those hieroglyphic bills of thine,
Thank importation thr-omgh Free Trade !
Besides, beneath thy poll-axe fall
Heads which thou smitest but to save.
Behold abundance large in all
The shambles—shall I say, thou knave ?
“Best shorthorns beef,” by wholesale bought,
Doth but five shillings cost, the stone,
The offal sunk ; ye Butchers ought
To thrive full well on that alone.
Namely, horns, tallow, hide and skin.
Whence ye derive a profit clear;
But, though you get the offal in.
The meat ye sell is awful—dear.
Ah ! shout not, “ What d ’ye buy, buy, buy ? ”
Until your charges you abate.
Soon will our answer to your cry.
Be “Nothing at the present rate.”
But now cut in, adventurous Blade,
Thy way to carve out fortune’s plain ;
As honest Butcher start in trade ;
Much custom will insure great gain.
TRY US, THAT ’S ALL.
Eh ? What’s this ?
“ Lord Clarendon is a gentleman in every sense of the term, but he labours
under a defect of character which, unsatisfactory in common men, is fatal to a
statesman—he cannot say No. Whether this be the result of a life spent chiefly in
diplomacy, or is natural to him, or be superinduced by the bad practice of smoking
incessantly, we cannot tell; but the fact is as we have stated it."—Blackwood's
Magazine for November.
Is our friend clean daft.? What does he mean by the passage in
italics ? Why, what has smoking to do with the power of saying No ?
We smoke incessantly. Let him come and ask us whether we regard
his allusion to a gentleman’s personal habits as good sense or good
taste.
A Mystery Cleared up.—No wonder that ghosts enter rooms,
though the doors are locked. They are all provided with skeleton keys.
DESCENDING FROM THE GENERAL TO THE PARTICULAR.
Honest Frenchman {in the ecstasy of his heart). “ Ah, Madame ! comme les Anglaises sont Belles ! ”
Charming Widow {appropriating the compliment). “Ah, Mocew ! com lay Fkongsay song flattewer ! ”
A WORD WITH MARROWBONES AND CLEAVERS.
0, mantled with celestial blue,
Arrayed as children of the sky ;
Say, there are none who can but you,
What makes the price of meat so high ?
Thou, Butcher, with a nimble grace,
Whetting bright blade on trusty steel;
Now tell me, how you can, with face.
Ask fifteen pence a pound for Veal ?
The Steak that shares a homely name
With Parliament renowned of yore,
Canst thou, without a sense of shame.
Put coolly down at one and four ?
That humbler steak, named simply beef,
Less soft of substance and more dense,
Wilt thou impose on our belief
As fairly worth a dozen pence ?
The price of joints from woolly dock,
That grazed upon the Southern hills,
Convulses us with fearful shock
Whene’er we scan our weekly bills.
For Mutton’s cost canst thou pretend
To state a reasonable ground;
O thou that legs and loins dost vend
High as one shilling both per pound ?
No scarcity of sheep and kine.
No murrain hath so heavy made
Those hieroglyphic bills of thine,
Thank importation thr-omgh Free Trade !
Besides, beneath thy poll-axe fall
Heads which thou smitest but to save.
Behold abundance large in all
The shambles—shall I say, thou knave ?
“Best shorthorns beef,” by wholesale bought,
Doth but five shillings cost, the stone,
The offal sunk ; ye Butchers ought
To thrive full well on that alone.
Namely, horns, tallow, hide and skin.
Whence ye derive a profit clear;
But, though you get the offal in.
The meat ye sell is awful—dear.
Ah ! shout not, “ What d ’ye buy, buy, buy ? ”
Until your charges you abate.
Soon will our answer to your cry.
Be “Nothing at the present rate.”
But now cut in, adventurous Blade,
Thy way to carve out fortune’s plain ;
As honest Butcher start in trade ;
Much custom will insure great gain.
TRY US, THAT ’S ALL.
Eh ? What’s this ?
“ Lord Clarendon is a gentleman in every sense of the term, but he labours
under a defect of character which, unsatisfactory in common men, is fatal to a
statesman—he cannot say No. Whether this be the result of a life spent chiefly in
diplomacy, or is natural to him, or be superinduced by the bad practice of smoking
incessantly, we cannot tell; but the fact is as we have stated it."—Blackwood's
Magazine for November.
Is our friend clean daft.? What does he mean by the passage in
italics ? Why, what has smoking to do with the power of saying No ?
We smoke incessantly. Let him come and ask us whether we regard
his allusion to a gentleman’s personal habits as good sense or good
taste.
A Mystery Cleared up.—No wonder that ghosts enter rooms,
though the doors are locked. They are all provided with skeleton keys.