Punch (49.1865)

REASONABLE-VERY!

Swell. “ Haw ! I want to go to Hammersmith.”

Conductor. “Just comb from there, Sir. Going t’other Way, now!"
Swell. “ Wa’al ! You can Turn Wound, can’t you?”

LINES BY A LADY’S MAID.

Air—“ The Meeting of the Waters."

LETTER FROM A LION.

Dear Sir, Charing Cross.

I am the Lion on Northumberland House—we say the Lion
of the Percy, in the family—only as you know that we are not Percies
but Smithsons, it is of no use my coming that sort of thing with you.

But you also know that I am to descend. Northumberland House
has to get out of the way of a new street. Yokels will soon cease to
stand and watch whether I wag my tail at one o’clock.

I am attached to the locality, however, and moreover I am an indus-
trious Lion, willing to make himself generally useful.

The Nelson Column has at present Four vacancies for Lions. Would
you use your interest with Sir E. L. to get one of these assigned to

Your most faithful Servant,

Mr. Punch. Leo Smithsonius.

THE FUGITIVE STEPHENS.

Amateur Shakspearian Performance in the Richmond Bridewell.

DRAMATIS PERSONA;.

MR. O’DOGBERRY. a WATCHMAN.

There is not at the West End a valet so sweet.

As that valet who courts me in Chesterfield Street,

Oh ! the last thought of fashion and dress must depart,

Ere the charm of that valet shall fade from my heart.

Yet it is not because of his figure and size,

The curl of his whiskers, the glance of his eyes—

’Tis not the soft kiss, or the sly little squeeze,

Oh, no ! it is something far better than these !

’Tis that Williams has saved while he’s been with Sir John,
What, with my little store, is enough to live on;

Though we ’re raking a house close to Kensington Gate,

And shall let our apartments, with linen and plate.

Sweet valet de chambre! how glad shall I rest,

On thy bosom adorned with the studs I love best.

When all rows with my Lady for ever shall cease.

And our hearts, like our savings, be mingled in peace.

O'Dogberry {to Watch)* You are thought here to he the most sense-
less and fit. man for the constable of the watch. You are to bid any
man stand in the Queen’s name.

Watch. How if be will not stand ?

O'Dogberry. Why then, take no note of him, but let him go; and
presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid

of a knave.

Watch. We will rather sleep than talk.

[Exeunt severally. Stephens walks out.

Unpopular Soldiers.—Private Pique and Corporal Punishment.

A Word for Co vent Garden,

A Gentleman, who had his choice between seeing L'Africaine or Ida
at Covent Garden, sang out melodiously—

“ How happy could I be with Ida,

When Vasco di Gama's away.”

He was immediately presented with a stall.

To a Water-" Party.”—Our Correspondent is assured that the
Glassites are a religious sect, not a convivial society.